If Not For You (15 page)

As if he knew what he was doing to me, he started running his thumb slowly up and down my arm, and then drawing circles on my flesh causing goose bumps to rise and my nipples to pucker. There was a hot wetness in my panties and I imagined myself straddling his thighs while the action thundered on the screen.

The audience cheered as the closing credits rolled and quickly ushered out of the theatre. Neither one of us moved though, I was enjoying Gage’s touch and didn’t want to lose the contact. Not yet.

His hand stilled and then he moved away into a stretch. Disappointingly, the moment was gone.

“Great movie, but I still think no one can play Bond like Roger Moore, he was slick.” Gage said with a straight face, I was amazed and glad for the diversion.

“Are you kidding me? Daniel Craig kicks ass, Moore is like a hundred!”

“He was great in his day, had that whole velvety sex thing happening when he said ‘Bond, James Bond.”

I laughed out loud at the terrible accent attempt and Gage squeezed me into a bear hug, shaking me until I was in stitches.

“Stop! I smell a bromance happening here! You’re horny for Moore!” My avowal made him pull me from my seat and onto his lap. I squirmed as he tickled me.

“And who are you horny for?” The words came out of his mouth and he stopped tickling, we sat staring at each other breathless from the struggle.

“Daniel Craig. Who else? He’s the only real Bond,” I blurted out, quickly standing. If he only knew my dirty little thoughts of him buried between my thighs. I pulled Gage to his feet and laughed trying to change the uneasiness in the very empty theatre.

“Pfft,” Gage puffed, taking my hand in his as we exited the theatre into the bright afternoon light.

“Come on I’ll let you buy me a drink,” he joked holding his hand over his eyes shielding the light.

“Okay I’ll buy, but only if it’s poolside.” I insisted pulling him back towards the elevator.

Looking at my image in the mirror, I mulled over which suit to wear, the hot pink number as Gage called it, the black one piece or my neon green one piece I had on. The green one piece was the winner, with a light pink sarong and matching flip, flops.

When I opened the door, Gage’s smile turned to the cutest pout imaginable. “Awww…I was looking forward to the hot pink one.”

“I don’t think it will fit you, but you’re welcome to try it on,” I joked, and got a snarky look thrown at me.

“I can throw on a t-shirt if you don’t like this one.” I teased turning towards the bedroom and he grabbed my wrist and spun me around.

“No, I like this one too,” he hummed, his eyes drifting over my body, a greedy look in his eye. “Just promise I’ll see the pink one again?”

“Perhaps…When did you see me wearing it before?” I gave him a quizzical look.

“The other day,” he was playing vague again. I think he enjoyed the mystery he exuded, got off on it when it suited him.

“And you didn’t come over and say hi.”

“Nope,” he grinned like a naughty little depraved school boy.

“You’re a pig,” I said, and playfully pushed my hand to his chest.

“Yep.” he shrugged his shoulders and put out his hand.

Looking at his hand as he held it out, I remembered the warm tingle of his fingers on my arm. What was with this guy and his need to touch, his need for hand holding? It wasn’t as if we were dating or seeing each other. Maybe as a child he was denied human contact. Perhaps his parents locked him in a closet or something; there was that imagination of mine again.

I wasn’t about to complain, I quite liked it. It was ever so slightly disturbing, only because we were strangers if truth be told. The only thing that had us in each other’s company was the fact that we were dinner companions and he was suspicious of my friends. I looked up to meet his eyes.

“You don’t want to hold my hand?” he asked, all soft and sexy with a glint in his eye.

I stood for a moment and then put my hand in his without a word, without question.

“Can we make a stop on the way? I need a tour form,” I told him.

“Sure thing I need one too, maybe we can do a few tours together. That is if
you
want to.”

“Of course, sounds like fun.” I said, with a little more enthusiasm than necessary.

Sharing a lounge, we sat side but side. His warm thigh touching mine and our arms making just the right amount of contact, we ticked off the places we wanted to see the most. It was decided that we would tour on our own. Gage was knowledgeable enough with world travel, that I put my trust in his decision of places to avoid altogether.

Singapore I had already booked, unfortunately it was full so Gage wouldn’t be able to join me. I had to make the choice to stay with the scheduled tour or go on a private tour with Gage. Do I really have to tell you the choice I made?

“I think staying close to the harbor is our safest bet, we can research on my laptop, find some hot spots, maybe do some shopping? We can worry about that later though,” he said. I nodded my head in agreement.

“I’m going for a swim, you coming?” Gage put out his hand and helped me to my feet and over to the pools edge.

“Last one in,” he said, diving. I stood there and watched, not interested in getting my hair wet in the overly chlorinated water.

Gage surfaced and shook his wet curls like a shaggy dog and swam over to the pools edge, resting his chin on his arms.

“Come get in.” He put his arms up and I sat, he held my waist and slowly lowered me into the water, sliding me against his body. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders and we bobbed in the water like a buoy.

“This isn’t exactly what I call swimming,” I pointed out the obvious. I was enjoying the feel of my legs wrapped around him, the water was cool but the heat from his body still radiated against my thighs. I noted he wasn’t protesting at all.

“Are you complaining?” His hands slid under my thighs and repositioned my hips, I could feel him growing hard as he pushed against my pelvic bone and his eyes lit up. I stared wide-eyed, enjoying the way it felt having Gage’s excitement made well-known only to me. My smile matched his. He squeezed my butt with a cheeky grin and shoved me to the wall of the pool.

“Hey you two!”

I looked up to see a smiling John and Jack watching us, always interrupting what could turn out to be a more than good time.

I have to say I was somewhat relieved and disappointed at the same time. What could have been a very inappropriate moment was now alleviated. I was raging with ardor, but my intention was not to get it on in a public pool with Gage, let alone in front of far too many witnesses. Exhibitionism was not my forte, although I wasn’t completely opposed to voyeurism.

“Hey to you, what are you guys up to?” I asked, spinning around from Gage’s strong arms to grip onto the pools edge.

“We’re on our way to the library. Came by the pool to do some research, if you know what I mean.” John said and looked over at a group of bikini clad babe’s flirting with the bartender, we all laughed.

“Yeah research.” I nodded my head and turned to Gage noting he was watching Jack closely.

“Speaking of research, remember the ideas we spun around the other day?” John asked and I nodded a quick yes. “I’d like to get your opinion on a few more subjects, would you have any time later to meet me so I can run them by you?”

“Sure. Three o’clock sound good? I could meet you in the library if you like,” I suggested, knowing that it was public. Thanks to Gage and his insight, I was hesitant of being alone with him.

“Three it is. See you then. You two have fun,” John said, with a glowing smile. Jack looked at Gage and then our eyes met. I didn’t like what I saw. Maybe it was my imagination playing with me, but his eyes seemed eerily hallow, unnerving. He looked annoyed, but why would he be annoyed with me?

The pair disappeared past the crowd as we watched them. Gage turned me around to face him and as if I were the weight of a feather, he lifted me to sit on the pools edge, and then pulled himself up to join me.

“I don’t like this. Don’t like this one bit,” Gage whispered, in that I’m-not-too-happy-with-you tone.

“It’s John, not Jack. And in the library, in a public place, so don’t get pissy with me.” I snarled. He glared at me and the look made me instantly regret the way I ended that sentence.

“I told you I didn’t want you alone with either of them, are you deaf? You don’t follow instructions well. Do you enjoy pissing me off?”

My brows wove together, my mouth dropped open, eyes narrowed and if looks could kill, he’d be a dead man floating on the surface of the water.

Controlling.

Arrogant.

Prick.

“Don’t you fucking talk to me like that…You… Are…Not…My… Father!” I was like a firecracker bursting off my ass, gathering up my things. Totally caught off guard Gage spun me around in his arms and spoke directly into my face, seething with anger.

“No. I’m not your father. And whatever daddy issues you got, they have nothing to do with me.” He tightened his hold so I was unable to squirm. “I like you Tandy, I want to keep you safe. Period. Stop making it so fucking hard.”

I felt like one of those rich spoiled brats in the movies. I lowered my head taking in exactly what he had said, he really did have my best interests at heart.

“I’m sorry.”

“There you go again with sorry. Stop saying sorry!” His hands were shaking under his grip. “Listen to me, do what you’re fucking told. It’s for
your
safety not mine. Do you have to be so difficult? Is it your life’s ambition to make it so hard to care for you?”

“I’m sor…sorry.” I closed my eyes, scrunching my face when I heard myself say it again, seconds after his scolding.

The sound of Gage’s laughter caused me to open them again and see the sparkle had returned to his baby blues, thank god.

“You’re infuriating, woman.” He kissed the tip of my nose and released me, we both sat and I could see the wheels turning in Gage’s head.

“We can make this work. You meet him, I’ll be nearby if you need me. I can use this meeting thing to my advantage,” he instructed with proficiency, “whatever happens, don’t let him get you alone. Don’t go back to his room, especially if Jack’s there.”

Raking his fingers threw his wet hair his eyes narrowed and met mine. “Do I need to repeat myself or did you get all that?”

“I got it…did you see the way Jack looked at me?” I said.

“Yes, didn’t think you did though.”

“Do you think he knows we’re on to him?”

Gage shrugged his shoulders, “how could he? Maybe he doesn’t like you. Maybe he doesn’t like John liking you. I don’t trust him.”

“Neither do I.”

***

“What’s the matter with you honey, you seem edgy.” John asked, leaning his elbows on the table and putting down his pen to concentrate solely on my answer.

“I’m fine, tired but fine. Let’s get back to work.”

“Not convinced. Are you having problems with this new man of yours?”

“You mean Gage? Gage is just a friend. He’s not my new man I assure you,” I laughed awkwardly. The idea of Gage being my man was appealing, however I didn’t know if he was interested in me other than a quick roll in the hay, which wasn’t going to happen the way things were going.

“Maybe I’m wrong but when I see you two, I get the distinct impression that he has feelings for you,” John said with a sideways glance, “I think you do too.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong. That’s the romance writer in you, rose colored glasses and all. Just want everyone to be in love,” I explained knowing I was talking to a wall at this point.

“Uh, huh,” he murmured with a single raised brow, “I want to discuss the BDSM thing and a woman’s point of view regarding pain for pleasure, what are your feelings?”

I had to look around, see who could be within ear shot. A wall of books stood between us and the many rows of book shelves. The only person I saw, close enough to even notice we were in the same room, sat four tables over. She was scouring through books and typing information into her laptop, far too busy to hear.

It donned on me that Gage said he’d be close by, yet I saw neither hide nor hair of him, maybe he was waiting outside. I didn’t worry too much, I was safe here.

Scrunching up my nose and biting my bottom lip I thought for a moment before answering. “I don’t know much about that stuff. The idea of pain is scary. Pain and sex combined, even scarier. Now rough stuff, a little man handling, that sounds interesting.”

“By rough you mean what?” John pressed as if it were just another day at the office, the subject matter was like asking for the financial report for the week. I was relaxed and it felt easy to share with him, as if I was talking over a case with one of the lawyer’s at work.

“Being thrown down on a bed and holding your wrists so you can’t touch him, while he has his way with you. Holding your head in his hands where he wants you, while giving him head. Pulling your hair or pinning your chest to the mattress, while he takes you from behind. Nipping your skin and sinking his teeth into tender flesh. Pushing you against a wall and forcing deep into you…”

“I like the way you think. You ever consider writing?” he said, bringing me back. “You know what you like.”

“All fantasy John. I have a mind for make-believe. I don’t think I have what it takes to be a writer or for fulfilling my fantasies.” Nice thought though, getting paid to put my creativity on paper, though I’d rather act it out in real life. I sighed.

“What’s your ideal fantasy man?” He grinned and sat waiting while I thought momentarily.

“Tall, muscular but not overly, longer hair no crew-cuts and scruff, I love scruff.”

“That’s cosmetic, physical. Is he Dom or Sub? Alpha-male, Clark Kent, a nerd, rock star, that’s what I need.”

“Must be Alpha-male, remember the rough stuff, definitely Dom to a point, but not too macho to let me take the lead once in a while. Big hands, nice feet and…” I hesitated for a moment, could I say it? Would I?

“And? Keep going you’re on a roll.”

“He should be well endowed…and has to know how to use it. I want him to know all the right spots, the erogenous zones. Someone that takes his time, I don’t want rushed sex. I want to be the most important thing to him, the only thing on his mind besides getting off.”