If Only We Knew (14 page)

“He what?”

“He kissed me,” she said, touching her lips, remembering how
his lips caressed hers
. “I’ve never felt that way before. I can’t forget the night we shared together, the way his mouth and hands felt on my body.” Shannon closed her eyes. “The best sex I ever had was that night.”

“TMI, Shannon—I’m here. Stop that! I can see the lust on your face.” They both laughed.

“The strangest thing happened the other night. He called me drunk and yelled that I was his.
I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. My body was yelling
yes, yes I’m yours
.”

Sherry laughed harder. “Girl, you’re crazy.” She got serious. “What are you going to do about your feelings for him?”

“Nothing. He’s married.”

“Not happily.”

“I know he’s not happy. I can see it.”

“He doesn’t talk about his marriage?”

“No. I respect him for that.”

“If I were you, I would fight for him. He only married her because she was pregnant, not because he loved her. Andrew and I spoke about that at the wedding. He didn’t want Matt to marry her.”

Shannon got serious. “I’m not doing any such thing. I’m dating David. He’s a good guy.”

“Do his kisses affect you the way Matt’s do?”

“No, but he’s taken. I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me.” She
said,
fe
eling the loss of something she never had
. “That’s why I’m not going to the conference next month. I don’t trust myself alone around him.”

Matt took the opportunity, while out of town and away from the mess that was his marriage, to reflect on his life and the choices he’d made. He’d tried everything to work it out, but he wasn’t happy, and he could tell she wasn’t either. His son was almost a year old, and Karen still couldn’t accept him, even if she said she did.

He arrived home a day early, ready to have a serious talk with his wife. Pulling up to their house, he stopped short to see an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. He hoped she hadn’t bought a new car. “Karen, I’m home,” he called as he opened the door, but he got no response.

He
walked
up the stairs, and that’s when he heard moaning and groaning coming from his bedroom. He gently pushed open the bedroom door and saw Karen—and his mother’s accountant—having sex. The man was deep inside his wife.

“Oh, Tommy, fuck me harder, sweetie!” she yelled in ecstasy.

“Baby, you’re going to be the death of me,” he said, thrusting deeper into her deeper.

“Just like that!
More
give me more!” She rocked her hips back and forth.

Matt watched in shock. He was about to make a scene but changed his mind. Instead, he pulled out his cell phone and took some pictures and a recording. He’d had enough and turned to leave.

“Four years together and you still have it, baby.” His wife’s pleasure was unmistakable.

Matt continued down the stairs, through the door, to his car. “Fucking bitch! She’s been cheating on me even before we were fucking married, and she had the nerve to judge me.” He started the car and drove down the street. He was angry and hurt
, cussing and hitting the steering wheel, feeling like a fool for everything he
’d
put up with
. “I gave her everything! She doesn’t work, stays home, spends my money, and this is what I fucking get!”

Without even thinking about it, he drove to Shannon’s house, parked, got out, and tried to calm down as he walked up to her front door. Knocking with one hand and turning the knob with the other, he discovered the door was open.
I need to see her.

The thought evaporated.

Shannon and David were making out on the living room couch. It took Matt a minute to find the correct words.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” He turned around, heading back to his car.

Shannon pulled away from David and jumped up. “Matt, wait.” She ran after him, catching up and grabbing him by the arm. “Matt, talk to me!”

“Sorry I interrupted you. Where’s Matthew?” He
couldn’t meet her eyes
.

“He’s with my parents. Matt, what’s wrong? I can tell you’re angry.”

He gently pulled away from her. “Nothing you can fix.” He turned got into his car, and drove away like a maniac.

She ran into the house, put on some flip-flops and grabbed her keys and purse.

“Where are you going, Shannon?” asked David.

“He’s my friend, and he’s hurt.” She ran out the door. “I’m going to find him.”

He followed her. “If you leave, I wont be here when you get back.”

“If that’s what you want,” she said, getting in her car. She started it and drove off after Matt. She caught up with him at the stoplight, but the light changed. “Slow down, Matt!” she said, knowing he couldn’t hear her. She tried calling him, but he ignored her calls.

“Matt, please slow down, you’re going to get yourself killed.”

He drove for half an hour, finally parking at a private, secluded beach. He got out of the car and stood on the sand, looking out at the ocean.
I was such a fool.

Arms looped gently around his waist. He jumped, surprised to see her.

“Matt…I…I’m here for you.”

“Shannon! How—”

“I followed you.” She
moved
in front of him
.

She was
wearing a short white sundress and flip-flops.
Damn she’s beautiful,
he thought.

“Why were you driving like a maniac? You could’ve left our son without a father,” she said,
looking
up at him.

“Don’t say that, Shannon. I would never leave him.”

“Are you going to talk to me?”

“Go home. You shouldn’t have followed me. There isn’t anything you can do.” He sat down in the sand.

“I’m not going home without you.” She sat next to him, taking his hands in hers. “I can listen, you know.”

“What about David?” He
said clearing his throat
.

“I no longer have a boyfriend, if that’s what you want to call him. According to him, if I followed you, it was over. I’m here, so I guess it’s over.” She pulled her hands away to move his hair from his face.

“Go back. Remember, he might be your soul mate.” He
leaned away
from her to look at the ocean.

“No, he’s not. I think I’ve already found my soul mate, but I was foolish and couldn’t see beyond my needs.” She also stared at the ocean.

He turned at her the same time she
did
. “Who?” he asked.

“Who? What?” She smiled. “That’s not important right now. Tell me what happened.”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed play.

She gasped, looking at the video. “Oh my God, Matt.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m so sorry,” she said, stopping the recording.

“Don’t feel sorry for me. It really doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. What angers me is that she’s been sleeping with my mom’s accountant for four years.” His hand balled into a fist.

“Four years?”

“Yes, four fucking years. I’ve known her for over two years, so that means she’s played me since the day I met her, and she has the nerve to judge me for what happened between us once, when she’s been having an affair the entire time.” He trailed his fingers in the sand.

“What did you do, Matt?” She
stroked
his hand. “Did you hurt him?”

“I did nothing. They were so into fucking they didn’t see me watching them. She thinks she played me, but she’s in for a big surprise. I called my lawyer on the way here and told him to
draw up
the divorce papers. Don’t get me wrong. I would’ve forgiven her if it was once, but knowing what I know, I can’t.” He took his shoes off, and when he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, “Was the baby even mine?”

“I’m sorry she did this to you. You don’t deserve this. You’re everything a woman is looking for in a man. You’re strong, patient, forgiving, handsome—” she smiled “—and a wonderful father. You gave her everything. She didn’t even have to lift a finger.” She moved closer to him, and gave him a hug.

He hugged her back. “Am I everything you’re looking for?” he whispered, pulling away
.

“Matt, you’re hurt. You’re not thinking straight.”

He caressed her face with his fingers. “For the first time in months, I’m thinking straight. Shannon, you never wanted to talk about what happened between us that night, but that night everything changed. I don’t know when it happened, if it was that night or before, but I have feelings for you. I’ve tried to ignore them.” He paused. “I was coming home with my mind made up to resign to my feelings for you and tell Karen I wanted a divorce. My decision didn’t have anything to do with my feelings for you; she and I have just grown apart. I got home and saw what I did, but you know what made me know my feeling for you went deeper than I thought? When seeing you making out with David hurt more than seeing my wife fucking someone else.” He gazed into her eyes. “Shannon, if you tell me you have no feelings for me, I’ll never bring it up again.”

“I can’t,” she whispered, putting her hands over his. He pulled her closer and commenced kissing her.

“I missed your soft, juicy lips,” he said between kisses.

She pressed her hand against his
chest and push
ed back. “What you’re feeling might just be because I’m the mother of your son.”

He gently cupped her face with his large hands and whispered, “I had feelings for you before you had my son. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but when you gave birth to our son, they got stronger.”

“We shouldn’t act on our feelings because if it ends badly, it will affect Matthew,” she whispered.

“This will be good for him, having his mom and dad together.” He gently pulled away from her. “We can take it slow because you’re who I want.”

Tears
rolled
down her cheeks. “Are you sure you’re just not saying this because it’s over between you and Karen? I don’t want to be your rebound.”

He wiped her tears. “I stayed with her out of obligation. You’re not my rebound. If anything, she was.”

“What if you hadn’t caught her?”

“I’ve always been honest with you. If I hadn’t caught her, I would’ve still asked her for a divorce. I married her out of obligation, not love. My heart would’ve been elsewhere. I would’ve loved you in silence, like I have been.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m in love with you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Shannon, you told me you didn’t want what I wanted in life, but now we have what we both wanted. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

“I didn’t know what I wanted until I got it. I don’t want slow, Matt. I want now.” He looked confused at what she was saying.
“I mean,
I’m horny. I haven’t had sex since we conceived Matthew.”

He laughed. “You haven’t been with any one since?” She shook her head. “Right here, right now?”

“Yes, why not? Look at that beautiful sunset.” She looked around. “No one’s here but you and me.” She got up and straddled his lap. She passionately kiss
ed
him, trying to taste every corner of his mouth. “Mmm.”

He lay, pulling her with him. He pulled her sundress under her breast and rubbed her nipples with his fingertips. Leaning away, he licked and sucked on her nipples. “Mmm, they still taste good,” he said. He rolled her over. He lifted her dress. She
arched
up as he took off her panties, throwing them to the side. “Shannon, you’re beautiful.” He kissed her navel, settling between her legs and taking off his shirt. He pressed his
thumb
on her clit, and then he plunged two fingers into her pussy. “Damn,
mami
, you’re so tight.” He moved his fingers in and out of her, making her wetter. He
bent
down and kiss
ed
her clit, licking her pussy from front to back. “
Que rica sabes
,” he whispered.

Shannon grabbed his hair, pushing him closer to her pussy. “Yes, yes,
papi
,” she moaned.

Matt continued to eat her out while plunging his fingers deep at the same time. She began shaking, her sign to him that she was about to explode.

“I’m coming! Oh God, yes!” she yelled in ecstasy.

Matt licked her juices. “I found my honey.” He kissed his way up to her lips. “You taste divine.” He smiled up at her. “You’re still shaking,
mami
.”

She opened her eyes. “Only you affect me like this.” She pulled him into another deep kiss. “I want to taste you.”