If Only We Knew (23 page)

“She lost her battle with cancer, but she got to see three years of our son’s life.” He
said with a smile on his face. “Every minute was a blessing, and a gift.” He
turned and left.

Shannon
looked at her reflection in the mirror, noticing how beautifully her
hair was growing back. She
was feeling stronger with each passing day. Matt had gone back to work and would call her every hour, checking on her.
The phone rang and she walked to her bed, sat and answered.
“Stop calling. I’m okay.
I’m getting the reports ready for Monday.”

“Where’s Matthew?”

“He’s right next to me sleeping. I’m stronger now. I can handle him.”

“Just making sure he wasn’t abusing you.” He laughed. “I forgot to tell you, my mom is coming by to see you.”

“I know; she called.”

“I’ll see you soon. I love you,” he said, making a kissing sound.

“I love you more.” She sounded a kiss through the phone as well and hung up.

The doorbell rang, and Shannon walked out of the bedroom toward the front door. “Hi, Mrs. Phillips.”

The woman pulled her into a hug, surprising her. “It’s Eileen to you.”

Shannon moved to the side, letting her mother-in-law come in and closing the door behind her.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling much better, especially knowing she’s getting stronger.” She rubbed her stomach. “She’s moving more. Here, feel.” She took her hand and placed it on her stomach.

Eileen smiled at her. “How much longer?”

“Six weeks. Let’s have a sit.”

“Shannon, I have to apologize one more time to you. You have been such an inspiration in my son’s life, and because of you, he’s learning to forgive me. He’s given me one more chance. I should have never let the things Karen told me make me pass judgment.”

“It’s all in the past. This disease has shown me not to dwell in the past, so now I’m living like it’s my last day and not looking back. I forgive you, Eileen.”.

“I understand what you’re going through because I’ve been through it.” She paused. “But I let the cancer live my life, instead of the other way around.”

Shannon just stared at her. “I didn’t know.”

“No one knows. I’m going to tell you some things I’ve never told Matt.” She
said controlling her emotions
. “I never stopped loving my sons. I met Javier when I was young, and we got married against my family’s wishes. They thought he was beneath our social status. We had the boys, and I loved them with everything in me, but I was used to a lifestyle that Javier couldn’t give me. He worked so many long hours, and I needed more. I met John Phillips and fell in love with his money and the life he offered me. The life I was used to. Javier found out I was cheating and asked me to stop, but I couldn’t, or wouldn’t. I divorced him and gave him custody of the boys because he told me I could see them anytime I wanted. At first I was there every weekend until I found out I had lung cancer. That’s when everything went downhill with the boys. I was tired all the time. When they came over, they didn’t feel wanted. John left me, saying he hadn’t signed up for that. The cancer got so bad that the doctors thought I had a short time to live, and that’s when I decided to die alone. I didn’t want them to see me in the state I was in. I stopped picking them up, and I cut all communication with them, and Javier. When I went into remission, I tried to contact them, but it was too late. They hated me.

“Eileen, they don’t hate you. They just wanted your love. I think you need to tell them the truth.”

“It doesn’t matter now.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes
. I’ve learned to live with it and love them from afar.” She released Shannon’s hand so she could wipe her falling tears.

“It will matter to Matt and Andrew. That will change everything. They think you didn’t love them, that once you were remarried, you didn’t want them anymore.”

“I love those boys more than my life.”

“
I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told Matt.
”

Matt, who’d been about to call out and say hello, froze. He listened, barely breathing, as his mother shared her story with Sha
nnon
ron
. He felt bad for eavesdropping on their conversation, but his need to hear, to know the truth, took over.

“Daddy!” Matthew ran up to him.

Both women looked up at him in surprise.

“Hi, kiddo,” he said, picking him up.

“How much did you hear?” his mother asked.

“Enough to know that I love you too, Mother.” He
pulled her into a tight hug
.

She stood up and hugged him. “Oh God, son, I love you.”

Matt called his brother
telling him
what he’d overheard. Andrew
let him know, that
he was on his way to have dinner with her.

He laid his head on Shannon’s stomach. “Hey, little
Mamita
, I can’t wait to see you and hold you.” He kissed her belly. “
Mi princesa
.”

Shannon played with his hair. “Are you okay?”

He leaned up. “Yes, I can finally say I’m great, and it’s all because of you.” He kissed her lips. “If it wasn’t for my mother trusting you, I wouldn’t have known what really happened.”

“She left because she loved you. In her mind, she was doing the right thing. She didn’t want you to see her die. I can understand, because I’m going through the same thing. The only difference is I’ve chosen a different route. If and when I die, I want to die around the people I love.”

The baby moved. “Yes, Makayla, you have the greatest mom in the world. She’ll give her life for you.” He rubbed her belly one more time.

“If we find out I still have cancer after her birth, we’ll deal with it together.”

He grabbed her hand. “Together we will overcome anything.”

Shannon was two weeks overdue. She lay in the hospital bed, waiting for the doctor to start her induction. She rubbed her stomach. “Come on, Makayla, we’re waiting for you.”

“She’s being stubborn, just like her mom,” Matt said, laughing.

Doctor Cooper came in and checked her cervix. With a smile and a reassuring nod, he applied the medication to her cervix. “There you go. The countdown begins.”

An hour later, Shannon was pushing—it had happened that fast. She looked up at Matt. “Remind me never to have another baby!” she yelled.

“
Mamita
, push,
”
h
e said wiping her forehead.

“She’s crowning. One more push, Mom, just one more,” the doctor said. Shannon pushed, and the baby’s head and shoulders came out. The doctor lifted the crying baby up so they could see her. “Hello, Mom and Dad,” he said, placing the baby on her stomach.

Matt came over and cut the umbilical cord. She was tiny. “Hi, Makayla,” he said, looking at her. “Did you hear those lungs?” he asked
Shannon
.

“Yes.”

The nurse came and got the baby, putting her in an incubator and wheeling her out.

“Where is she taking her?” Shannon whispered.

“We’re just making sure she wasn’t affected by the treatments. When they’re done testing her, I will personally bring her to you.”

“Thank you,” Matt said.
“Can I come with her?”

“Yes.”

“She has to be okay,” Shannon said while the nurse cleaned her up, getting her ready to go to her private room.

“Makayla is beautiful. She has more hair than you.” He made her smile.

He followed the nurses.

Shannon was
rolled in
to a private room, where her parents, his parents, Sherry, Andrew, Uncle Victor and his wife, and Matthew waited with big smiles.
“Congratulations!”
Andrew picked up Matthew and walked over to her bed.

Matthew bent his head and kissed her cheeks. “Mama, I love.”

“I love you, my little man.” She hugged him, kissing his chunky cheeks. “I’m so happy your hair grew back.”
She touched his bouncy curls.

“Where’s Matt?” His dad asked.

“I’m right here.” Matt entered the room with Makayla in his arms. “Everyone, this is Makayla Joy Johnston Jones. She weighed five pounds, five ounces and she’s twenty inches long.” He paused. “And she is in perfect health.” They all took deep breaths and thanked God. He walked over to Shannon and handed her the baby.

Everybody made
awww
sounds gathered around her bed. Makayla was the color of cinnamon with curly, brown hair.

Shannon was mesmerized. “She’s perfect,” she said, counting the baby’s fingers and toes.

“She looks like you,” Mrs. Joy said, smiling.

“She does,” his mom seconded.

“Wait until you see her eyes. The stamp is there,” Matt said, leaning on her bed.

“How do you know?” Andrew asked.

“The nurse told me she has my eyes.” He gently rubbed the baby’s cheeks. “I know most babies eyes change colors, but Matthew still has my eyes.”

Matt took Matthew from Andrew’s arms and walked back over to the bed. “Matthew, meet your sister, Makayla. Do you want to give her a kiss?” He nodded. Matt leaned him over, and he kissed her on the forehead.

“She is beautiful,” Sherry said,
going to her sister
. “Congratulations, you did it.”

Shannon
took a hold of
Matt’s hand. “We did it.”

Mr. Johnston held
Matthew and all of their family left so she could rest. Shannon fell asleep, and Matt held Makayla in his arms.

“My little girl,
mi princesa
.” She open
ed
her eyes, making him laugh. “You do have my eyes.” He rubbed her nose with his. “Little Makayla, you look like your mom.”

The oncologist knocked and entered the room. “Your wife needs to get tested right away. If the result is positive, we have to start treatment right away.”

“Shannon.” Matt woke her. “The doctor is here.”

She woke up, and the doctor explained the process. “First, we’re going to send you to get a CT scan to make sure the lumpectomy and the adjuvant chemotherapy worked. If not, we have to start you on a more aggressive treatment, maybe with radiation therapy.”

She agreed to the test.

She grabbed Matt’s hand. “What if the surgery and chemo I went through didn’t work? Oh God, Matt, I don’t want to leave you guys,” she said, looking at the baby. “I don’t want to die.” She broke down crying.

He took the baby out of her hands and placed her in the Isolette. He took Shannon in his arms and held her tight. “You made it this far. Do you believe in God?”

She leaned away. “Yes.”

“Do you believe that anything is possible?” He took her hand.

“Yes.”

He wiped her tears. “Our faith is stronger than anything when put together. Pray with me.”

She bowed her head. “Dear Lord, I come to you asking you to heal my wife of any cancer in her body. I know all things are possible through you. In your name we pray. Amen.”

“Amen. Thank you for being patient and loving me.” She kiss
ed
him.

“
Mamita
, these years with you have been heaven-sent. Thank you for loving me through all my up and downs.” He kissed her hands. “You’ve made me a better man.”

Matt sat on the white sand, looking out at the ocean, thinking of the emotional journey they’d been through and the wasted time they’d spent apart. If only she would have told them the truth….

Thank you for the time you gave me with her.
He was deep in thought and didn’t notice Makayla and Matthew run up to him until Matthew spoke.

“Daddy,” he said. Sitting down next to him, he began playing in the sand.

Makayla jumped into his lap and kissed him on the cheek. “Pa-pa,” she said, pressing her nose to his.

He stared at his healthy, beautiful two-year-old daughter and smiled at her resemblance to her mother.

“
My
dad-dy.” She looked over at her brother.

Matthew jumped up and grabbed his arms. “No, he’s
my
daddy,” he said, kissing his cheek.