If the Ring Fits (16 page)

T
ravis stood at the door to her bedroom—
their
bedroom, darn it—with a bath towel wrapped around his waist and prayed Mary Karen would be asleep when he walked into the room. He’d stayed in the shower until his skin had started to take on the unappealing characteristics of a prune, wanting to give her enough time to fall asleep.

Not that he didn’t want to talk things out—he did—it was just that they were both tired. All those years of raising teenagers had taught Travis a few things about conflict resolution.

Regardless of what some relationship books said about not going to bed with unresolved issues, he’d learned that when you reach an impasse, it’s often best to defer further discussion until the morning. A good night’s sleep often made seemingly insurmountable problems, workable. Tomorrow, in the bright light of a
new day, Mary Karen would realize she’d been foolish to doubt his love.

I hope.

Holding his breath, he slipped inside the room and pulled the door closed with as much stealth as he could muster. Then he glanced at the bed.

It was empty.

For a second a frisson of panic shot up his spine and he feared Mary Karen was gone. Until he realized that was ridiculous. This was her house. And, while she might leave him, she’d never leave the three little boys sleeping down the hall.

At the same instant the reassuring thought crossed his mind, he saw her. She sat in a chair by the window, watching him with an unreadable expression, her hands folded in her lap.

“I thought you’d be asleep.”

“You mean you
hoped
I’d be asleep,” she said.

“If you’re implying I don’t want to resolve this, this misunderstanding, you’re mistaken,” he said stiffly.

“I don’t want to argue.”

“That’s not what I want, either.” Keeping his gaze focused on Mary Karen, he crossed the room and sat on the bed. “Our relationship, our
marriage,
is important to me. I hope you know that you can always count on me.”

Travis kept his voice even in an attempt to diffuse the tension filling the room.

“David was right.” Her gaze dropped to her hands, her voice barely audible. “I brought this on myself.”

“What do you mean?” he kept his voice equally soft and low.

She lifted her gaze, her beautiful blue eyes filled with regret. “He said I’d put you in a no-win situation
by saying you had to love me or I wouldn’t stay married to you. He said I gave you no choice but to lie.”

David was going to have some explaining to do, the next time Travis saw him. But he didn’t have time to dwell on his brother-in-law’s comments now. “I didn’t lie to you. I—”

Mary Karen raised a hand. “I owe you an apology. I put you in a bad position with my demand. It was silly and certainly not fair. I want to assure you that regardless of what happens between you and me, you can have as much access to your babies as you want. We can even partner in their upbringing, if that’s what you want.”

Partner in their upbringing?

Travis couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His stomach clenched. Was she really thinking about them not being together? Planning a…divorce? He cleared his throat and met her gaze. “You know what I want. I want us to be together…the boys…the babies…you and me. The way it has been. That’s the way I like it. It’s the way it should be for us.”

Though he tried to keep it under control, his voice shook with emotion. At the moment, he didn’t care. His entire life was on the chopping block. His future happiness was at stake.

“I know you worry about me.” She played with the ribbons on her gown and offered him a wan smile. “You want to protect me. But I’ll be okay. I’m a strong person. And I’m blessed with a strong family support system.”

“What about me?” He leaned forward. “I’m your family. I’m here for you.”

“I know you are.” Unexpectedly she lifted her hand and caressed his cheek with the back of her fingers.

His hopes rose. Travis reached for her hand but she pulled it back out of reach.

“I want you to take some time to think about what it is you really want.” She squared her shoulders and a look of resolve crossed her face. “I don’t want you to be a little bit or mostly in this relationship. I want more than that. I deserve more than that.”

There was a finality to her tone that he hadn’t heard before. “Are you telling me to leave?”

“No, but I’m not asking you to stay, either.”

Travis let out the breath he’d been holding. It wasn’t quite the answer he’d hoped for but at least she wasn’t telling him to pack his bags.

“If you choose to live here while making your decision, we won’t be intimate.” She chewed on her lower lip for a second, then continued, her gaze steady, “And, if we do split up, we won’t be going back to the whole friends-with-benefits thing. That’s over. Done. Finished. Kaput. I told myself it was just sex, and that neither of us would get hurt. But I was wrong. It was more, at least for me. I’m through lying to myself.”

By now Travis’s head was spinning. He wondered when he was going to wake up from this nightmare. “I love you, M.K.”

Her eyes searched his. “I think maybe you do. But how much? Enough that you’re right where you want to be? That’s the question you need to answer.”

“I can answer that now,” he said, taking a chance and pulling her close, relief flooding him when she didn’t immediately pull away. “I—”

Her fingers closed over his lips and she shook her head. “No. Take the time. Search your heart. Be honest with yourself and then with me. Remember, no matter
what you decide, you won’t lose contact with your babies or with me. I’ll always be your friend.”

He would continue on as if nothing had changed.

It wasn’t much of a plan but after tossing and turning most of the night, it was the only plan Travis could come up with by the time the clock chimed six.

Taking great care not to wake Mary Karen, he dressed quickly and slipped out of the bedroom. She’d barely slept last night, too, but had finally fallen into an exhausted slumber about three o’clock.

The past couple of hours had told Travis that, for him, sleep wasn’t happening. Try as he might to shut it off, his mind kept searching for a solution, trying to figure out what he could
do
to show her that he was right where he wanted to be. But there seemed to be no answer…other than to stay the course.

Why couldn’t she just enjoy the life they were building together and believe that he was no longer that fool who’d eschewed marriage and fatherhood?

He reached the living room and sat down to pull on his boots, realizing if he were her he’d also have difficulty believing the one-eighty he’d done was sincere. Especially in light of her brother’s comments.

The truth was, being a husband and a father had been so incredibly easy that he wondered why he’d resisted it for so long. Being with M.K. and the boys had filled a void in his life that he hadn’t even known was there.

Sure he’d enjoyed his years of freedom but when he’d met up with Mary Karen in Vegas, a part of him had realized she was what he wanted, what he’d always wanted and he had to have her. As his wife. As the mother of his children.

Now, he just had to figure out a way to convince
her of his sincerity. What had she said? Actions speak louder than words? It was too bad she’d nixed the lovemaking because he could think of lots of ways in bed that he could show her his love.

Still, he’d continue to look for another way. Because he loved this woman and her three little boys with his whole heart. Failure wasn’t an option.

After a restless night, Mary Karen rose the next morning, determined to spend the day cleaning. Scrubbing floors, vacuuming and picking up toys on what looked to be a beautiful Saturday didn’t make much sense but she needed to keep busy. The activities would hopefully stop her from thinking, from feeling, from imagining what her life would be like without Travis.

Not that he’d given any indication at breakfast that he was thinking of leaving. He made scrambled eggs and bacon for her and the boys, like he did every morning he didn’t have to rush off to the hospital. Teased her and the boys just like any other morning. But she saw the shadows in his eyes and knew he hadn’t slept much, either.

It was hard to summon up much sympathy. Feeling his warm body beside her had been absolute torture. He could have at least had the consideration to put on a pair of pajamas. Several times during the long, lonely hours she’d had to stop herself from reaching for him. She longed to cast away her fears and lose herself in his arms. But each time she’d somehow managed to keep her hands to herself, knowing the issue standing between them wasn’t something that sex—no matter how fabulous—could solve. And interjecting it into the equation while he was searching his soul would only complicate matters.

Heaving a sigh, she grabbed a mop from the utility closet. She hoped Travis had somewhere to go today. If he saw her cleaning he’d be shocked…and then angry. He’d made it clear last month that he was taking over all the household chores. Her only job was to rest, relax and let the babies grow.

Mary Karen hadn’t argued. Not then. In fact, she’d been relieved and hard-pressed not to cheer. But now that her short-lived happiness was crumbling down around her, she had to do something to keep herself occupied. Something to still the pain bubbling up inside her. Even if that meant cleaning. Ugh. She grimaced and reached for the cleaning solution. Her cell phone rang just as she curved her fingers around a bottle of floor cleaner. She smiled, recognizing July’s ring, grateful for the brief reprieve.

“Hey, you,” she answered then unconsciously stiffened when Travis entered the room. “What’s up?”

As she’d anticipated Travis’s smile immediately faded when he caught sight of the bucket, rubber gloves and floor cleaner. Disapproval blanketed his face and he gently confiscated the cleaning solution from her hands.

“No,” he mouthed, shaking his head.

Her heart pounded so hard at his nearness, she missed July’s question.

“I’m sorry, July, what did you say?” she asked, ignoring Travis and concentrating on the phone in her hand. “I guess I—I could go,” she stammered. “Let me ask Trav.”

She turned to the man who was—for now—still her husband. In his jeans and striped pullover shirt the young doctor looked way too handsome and put together for nine o’clock in the morning. His arms were crossed
as he leaned against the counter, watching her with an inscrutable expression.

She brushed a strand of tangled hair back from her face, knowing she looked a mess and wishing she’d at least put on some makeup. “July has asked me to go with her to the arts festival downtown.”

“Sounds like fun,” he said, his eyes never leaving her face. “Do you want to go?”

Actually, earlier in the week she’d planned on asking him to go with her, but baby brain had kicked in and she’d forgotten all about it.

The QuickDraw Art Sale and Auction brought together local and regional artists. They set up in the town square and spectators could watch them paint and sculpt. Afterward, the artwork was auctioned off.

It had been years since Mary Karen had attended the event. She’d thought about going last year but the image of Connor knocking over some sculpture, or Caleb getting into someone’s paints had dissuaded her.

“I’d like to go,” she said slowly. “But July wants it to be a girls’ day out. That means I’ll need someone to watch the boys.”

“I can watch them,” Travis said. “I’m not on call today.”

“I don’t know.” Mary Karen hesitated. “They’re not your responsibility—”

“What do you mean? Of course they’re my responsibility.” Then, as if realizing his tone had been a bit harsh, he offered a conciliatory smile. “It’ll be good for you to get out of the house and spend time with a friend.”

“Hey, you two, listen to me. I don’t want to cause trouble—” July’s voice sounded from the phone still cupped in Mary Karen’s palm.

“Hold on, July,” Mary Karen said, not taking her eyes off Travis. “Are you sure? You really want to spend the day babysitting?”

“I don’t want no stinkin’ babysitter,” Connor shouted from the doorway. “Especially not mean Erin.”

“Super-mean Erin,” Caleb echoed, following his twin into the room.

“Connor. Watch your language. That goes for you, too, Cal,” Travis said, a definite warning in his voice. “Erin is a very nice girl.”

“I got your truck. I got your truck.” Logan peered around the corner, holding out the shiny red vehicle, taunting his brothers with the toy.

Connor’s eyes widened. He and Caleb exchanged a horrified glance.

Logan’s dimples flashed.

“That’s mine,” Connor yelled, taking off running with his twin on his heels.

Logan laughed and disappeared into the hall as his brothers thundered from the room.

“Walk,” Travis called after the boys. “And try not to kill each other.”

Mary Karen hid a smile. Sometimes it was easy for her to take for granted just how good Travis was with children. Firm, always fair, but with a definite sense of humor. “You sure you want to watch the little monsters?”

“They’ll mellow out,” he said with a confident smile. “I’ve wanted to take them fishing for a long time. I think today would be a good day to go.”

“Thank you, Travis.” Mary Karen smiled at him then lifted the phone to her ear. “July, I’m sorry to keep you waiting but it’s good news. It’s a go.”

They spoke for a few minutes longer, finalizing the
arrangements. Mary Karen was about to hang up when Travis held out his hand.

She cast him a questioning glance.

“I need to speak with David.”

Her heart stopped beating for several seconds. Mary Karen thought of how angry he’d been at her brother last night. Her fingers tightened around the phone. “I’m not sure now is a good time.”

The words had barely left her lips when Travis lifted the phone from her fingers.

“Hi, July. I need you to do me a favor,” he said smoothly. “Ask your husband if he’d like to go fishing with me and the boys.”

Within minutes, all plans were in place. Since July was going to stop over in thirty minutes, Mary Karen had to scramble to get ready.