If the Ring Fits (4 page)

She pretended to ponder his words but her smile reappeared.

“Apology accepted,” she said with a decisive nod. “And I’ll hold you to that tofu pizza promise. Don’t think I won’t.”

“I missed you. As the words left his lips he realized they were true. “Did you miss me?”

Mary Karen lifted a shoulder in an exaggerated shrug. “I may have thought about you once or twice.”

“Brat.” Relief washed over him. He smiled then reached for her. Before she could protest and pull away, he pressed his mouth to hers.

Surprise was on his side. She instantly softened against him. Her fingers slid through his hair as they continued to kiss, long passionate kisses that sent fire coursing through his body. Then, abruptly, just as his
hand slid beneath her shirt, she pulled away and glanced around.

“Discretion, Trav,” she said, sounding breathless, her lips swollen from his kisses, her hair tousled. Travis groaned.
Discretion
had been their byword since they’d started their friends-with-benefits relationship three years ago. The rules were simple. No hugs or kisses where they could be seen by others. Other than last year’s Christmas party where a plethora of mistletoe had caused things to get a bit out of control, they’d stuck to those rules.

“You’re no fun,” he grumbled.

The rarely seen dimple in her left cheek flashed. “That’s what my boys tell me.”

“If you insist on privacy…” Travis slid the key into the ignition and the engine purred.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Someplace private,” he said. “Where we can talk and not be disturbed. Is that okay with you?”

She thought for a moment, her eyes dark and unreadable in the dim light. Then she nodded. “We do need to talk.”

Conversation wasn’t exactly what Travis had in mind. He wanted to hold her close, feel her body respond to his, reassure himself that their temporary marriage hadn’t changed things between them. But if she wanted to talk, they would talk.

She reached forward, switching radio stations. He wasn’t surprised when she stopped the search when she got to a country one. He knew her tastes as well as he knew his own.

Travis put the car in gear but didn’t hit the gas. Instead he let his gaze linger, watching the way the light from the moon caught the golden blond of her hair.
Pretty, intelligent and with a heart as big as the Wyoming sky. No wonder no other woman held a candle to her.

The strains of a steel guitar filled the cab and she sat back with a satisfied sound. Travis pulled away from the curb and relaxed fully for the first time since he’d left for Cameroon.

He turned onto US 26, passing the four antler arches in the town square. Surprisingly, for someone who’d wanted to talk, M.K. didn’t seem to have much to say. So Travis picked up the ball and ran with it, just like he had in high school when he’d been the running back and had taken a handoff from David.

Travis told Mary Karen about the baby he’d delivered last night, how concerned he’d been when he’d first arrived at the hospital, his relief when all went well. Once he turned onto the highway the talk shifted to Cameroon and his time in the East Region.

He could still see the men grilling fish and soya and brochette over homemade barrel grills at the side of the roads. Then, the talk turned professional. As a nurse, Mary Karen could appreciate the challenges of providing medical care in hospitals without running water.

She listened attentively, occasionally making encouraging noises.

“I’m never going to complain about anything again,” he vowed, turning off the highway onto a side road. “We have so much here, so much to be thankful for.”

“I’d thought about going into the Peace Corps when I got out of college.” Mary Karen’s eyes took on a faraway look. “As a nurse, I knew I could be of real help to those less fortunate.”

Peace Corps? Mary Karen? He’d dated her when she’d been in college. She’d been the pretty sorority
girl who always had a smile on her face. This volunteer thing was news to him. “Why didn’t you do it?”

The smile on her lips vanished. “C’mon, Trav. You know why.”

Then he remembered. Her senior year she’d begun dating Steven, a man without an altruistic bone in his body. By the time she’d graduated with her Bachelor of Science in Nursing, she’d been five months pregnant.

Travis pulled off the highway onto a rarely used dirt road and parked the convertible.

“You never told me about the Peace Corps thing.” For some reason not knowing bothered him. They were friends. He knew what radio stations she liked. He knew her favorite flavor of ice cream. Shouldn’t he also have known she’d once considered going into the Peace Corps?

He motioned her closer. When she leaned in, he slipped an arm around her shoulder and nuzzled her hair. The familiar scent of strawberries teased his nostrils. “You smell good.”

“None of that.” She pressed a hand against his chest and pushed him back. “We need to talk.”

Travis wasn’t so easily dissuaded. With gentle fingers he tipped her chin up then kissed her lightly on the mouth. “First let me say I’m sorry.”

Her eyes were large and luminous. “For what?”

Both of his arms were around her now. He pulled her close and felt her heart fluttering like a hummingbird against his chest. “I was wrong to leave you behind in Vegas.”

“You didn’t have a choice.” Mary Karen’s fingers played with a button on his shirt. “You had a plane to catch. So did I.”

“If I’d have stayed we could have gotten the marriage annulled.” He wondered if she was worried that
he would drag his feet getting the papers filed. “I know how much you wanted to get that done while we were still there.”

Her hand dropped. “I’m glad now that we didn’t.”

The words were soft but still audible. Travis frowned. He must be more tired than he realized. Surely she hadn’t just said she wanted to stay married?

“Don’t get me wrong. I still don’t think marriage between us would work,” Mary Karen continued as if she’d read his mind. “Unless you’ve had an epiphany and changed your mind about children?”

Her tone was light but her blue eyes were dark and serious.

In Cameroon he’d had a lot of time to think. During the long hot nights he’d wondered what it’d be like if they stayed married. But each time he’d come to the same conclusion. What he wanted and what she wanted were too far apart. “I love your boys, M.K., you know that. But I’m not interested in spending the next twenty years raising children.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“About the annulment. I think—”

“No annulment.” Mary Karen shook her head, her gaze now on the full moon.

Travis wondered if she was worried that getting the annulment would cost money she didn’t have. But that couldn’t be it. He’d assured her that he’d pay for it. Perhaps— “I’m pregnant.”

The breath froze in Travis’s throat. “Beg pardon,” he returned, keeping his expression perfectly still.

“I’m pregnant.” Her fingers twisted in her lap. She lifted her gaze to his and he saw the truth in the tears shimmering in her eyes.

When Travis had been ten his brother had hit him in the chest with a two-by-four, forcing all the air from his lungs. To this day he remembered that awful, panicky feeling. He felt the same way now.

After a long moment, he cleared his throat. “Are you sure?”

“I did a home test. It came back positive.” She chewed on her lower lip. “I have all the symptoms.”

He had to be in an alternate universe. There could be no other explanation. “You’re on the pill.”

Then he recalled why her brother called her Fertile Myrtle. Both times she’d gotten pregnant before, she’d been on oral contraceptives.

“I should have used a condom.” A sick feeling took up residence in the pit of his stomach. “We’d always used one before.”

“Yeah, well…” Her voice trailed off and he saw the despair in her eyes.

“Are you planning on having the baby?” He tried to keep his tone casual. Although this was his child she was carrying, he was well aware that this was ultimately her choice.

“Are you asking me to have an abortion?” Her voice rose then broke.

“Nononono.” He reached for her hand. “How could you possibly think that?”

Mary Karen jerked her hand away and crossed her arms. “You don’t like children. You told me that yourself less than five minutes ago.”

“Of course I like children. I’m an obstetrician. I bring children into the world on a daily basis.” As he spoke, Travis tried to remember his earlier words. “I merely said I didn’t want to raise them.”

Tears spilled from her lids and slid down her cheeks.

Damn. He was an intelligent man, but that didn’t seem to stop him from putting his foot in his mouth.

“Ah, M.K.” He pulled her against him despite her protests. “It’ll be okay. Don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” she said between sobs. “Crying is s-stupid.”

“No, it’s not,” he said in a soothing tone. As he stroked her hair, he realized this wasn’t just about him. He’d put his best friend in an untenable position.

“I’m getting your shirt wet.” She tried to pull away, but he tightened his hold.

“I don’t care about the shirt.” He leaned his forehead against her hair. “I care about you.”

It was the truth yet something he’d never said to her before. Though they’d been as intimate as two people could be, they’d always been careful to avoid talking about feelings.

“Caring doesn’t matter.” Mary Karen pulled a tissue from her purse and blotted her eyes. “Steven cared about me. Look how that turned out.”

Steven was also an arrogant, self-centered jerk. From the moment he’d set foot in Jackson Hole, Travis hadn’t liked the guy. And he certainly hadn’t appreciated the way he’d treated Mary Karen.

“This is such a big mess.” She sniffed then blew her nose.

Big mess
seemed a bit mild, considering the impact, but Travis agreed with the assessment.

They’d stay married. What other choice was there? Mary Karen was his friend. She was carrying his baby.

Travis blew out a harsh breath. It looked like he was about to become a family man…whether he wanted to or not.

M
ary Karen pushed back from Travis’s arms. It wouldn’t do to get too comfortable. She’d told him about the baby. She’d accomplished her goal for the evening.

“The lease on my apartment will be up next month,” he said, thinking outloud. “Since your place is bigger, I’ll move in with you. After the baby is born, we can talk to Joel about building a house for us.”

The resignation in his eyes made her heart clench. It mirrored what she’d seen in her ex-husband’s eyes when she’d told him she was pregnant.

“No,” she said softly, then repeated more loudly as if to convince herself, “no. You’re not moving in with the boys and me.”

“What are you talking about?” Confusion blanketed Travis’s handsome features. “Of course I’m moving in. You need me. Now more than ever.”

Mary Karen briefly closed her eyes and prayed for
strength. She did need him. Or rather she needed a partner on this scary journey. But a willing partner, not one who was only with her because he felt obligated.

But wasn’t having
someone
better than being alone?
a tiny voice in her head whispered.

No. She wouldn’t do that to herself again. Or to Travis. If she brought him with her down this familiar road, there’d be pain at the end for everyone. For him. For her. Most significantly for her children. “You don’t want to be married or have a family.”

Travis didn’t bother to argue the point. How could he? He’d made his feelings on marriage and children very clear on many occasions. What had he told her at Christmas? Being married and having children would be like a noose around his neck.

He wiped a weary hand across his face. “M.K., you and I both know life isn’t simply about what we want. Honor and duty matter, too.”

Though his words only confirmed what she already knew, they were like a dagger to her heart. “I married one man because I was pregnant,” she said in a quiet tone. “I won’t make that mistake again.”

Travis gave a half-hearted chuckle. “It’s a good thing I have a strong ego or being lumped into the same category as your ex might cause me some serious psychological trauma.”

He reached over and cradled her ice-cold fingers in his strong ones. “C’mon, it won’t be so bad. Your parents like me. Your brother is my best friend. And your kids think I’m cool.”

Her children. “They won’t think you’re so cool when you get tired of us and leave.”

“Stop with the comparisons to your ex.” Travis’s
hazel eyes flashed. “Leaving is Steven’s M.O., not mine.”

“I apologize.” She’d been wrong to lump him in with her ex. Mary Karen knew in her heart that he’d stick around but at what cost? Oh, he’d try to hide his unhappiness. But she knew him so well, she’d see right through his act. And while she knew he’d be good to her boys, wouldn’t they eventually pick up on the fact that his heart wasn’t in being a father?

No, having him move in wasn’t an option. But what were they going to do? And how would they explain it all to their family and friends? Time, she needed a little more time. “Promise me you won’t say anything about our marriage or the baby to anyone. Not just yet.”

“You won’t be able to hide your pregnancy for long,” Travis pointed out. “After three children—”

“I know.” She didn’t need anyone to remind her that all too soon she’d resemble a beached whale. “It’s just that I want time before—”

“—everyone finds out you took the biggest player in Jackson Hole off the market and got knocked up in the process?”

In spite of the seriousness of the topic, Mary Karen had to chuckle. Trust Travis to put his own unique spin on things. “Something like that.”

“I wouldn’t want anyone to know I’d married me, either,” he said in a conversational tone, looping an arm companionably around her shoulders. “But I think it’s better they know sooner rather than later.”

Normally she would agree. But not in this situation. Mary Karen had the feeling no one was going to be happy or agree with her decision. “Just keep it quiet for now. Okay?”

“I’ll go along with whatever makes it easier for you,” Travis said, but he didn’t look happy.

“I’d also like to postpone the divorce until after the baby is born.” Mary Karen swallowed hard against an unexpected lump in her throat. Poor sweet baby didn’t deserve all this drama.

“Divorce?” Travis’s eyes widened and a rarely seen muscle in his jaw jumped. At the same time, his brows slammed together. “I thought that was off the table.”

“I never said that.” She shifted her gaze into the darkness over his shoulder. “Neither of us want to stay married. Not really.”

“But you’re pregnant.”

Mary Karen sighed. “Believe me, I’m well aware of that fact.”

Without warning Travis pushed his door open and stepped from the vehicle.

“What are you doing?” Mary Karen asked.

“I’m going for a walk.” Travis rounded the front of the car and opened her door. “With you.”

When he held out his hand, she hesitated for only a second before placing her fingers into his firm grasp and stepping from the warmth of the car into the cool night air. The stones of the gravel road crunched beneath her sandals.

She hadn’t even had a chance to shut her door when a gust of wind swept across the open countryside, ruffling her hair and making her shiver. Mary Karen wrapped her arms around herself. Perhaps going for a walk wasn’t such a good idea.

Travis paused. Then he bent down and reached under the seat, rummaging around.

“I know it’s here somewhere.” Finally, with an ex
clamation of triumph, he pulled out a wrinkled gray hoodie. “Just what the doctor ordered.”

Though the jacket looked a bit tattered, when he offered it to her Mary Karen wasn’t about to argue. She slipped her arms into the soft, warm fleece and Travis zipped it up with a solicitousness that brought tears to her eyes.

Just for a second, she let herself wonder what it’d be like if Travis loved her and wanted to raise children and grow old with her for all the right reasons. She breathed in the faint scent of the cologne that clung to the fabric and wished with all her heart that things could be different.

“Warm enough now?” he asked.

She nodded and ducked her head, afraid of the longing he might see in her eyes.

“Good.” He took her arm and crooked it through his. “Now, tell me why you won’t give me, us, a chance.”

Mary Karen looked up. The moon hung large in the sky. A zillion stars sparkled brightly overhead. But romance and love were no longer in those stars for her. She thought of the other dreams she’d once clung to, the hopes she’d had of making a difference in the world. Those fantasies were now out of reach, too. Sadness engulfed her heart.

It would be so easy to let Travis move in. It would certainly make her life easier. But her boys’ welfare had to be her priority. A father who didn’t want to be one would only hurt them in the end.

She felt his curious gaze on her as they walked down the deserted stretch of road.

“M.K.,” he said. “I want to do right by you.”

Of course he did. Despite his somewhat hedonistic lifestyle, Travis Fisher was an honorable man. When
he’d been a teenager, he’d made the sacrifices necessary to keep his family together. Now he was once again willing to sacrifice the life he’d always wanted because he’d gotten her pregnant.

But as fearful as Mary Karen was of raising four children alone, she was more afraid of being in another marriage based on duty and obligation, not love.

Just like she wanted more for Travis, she wanted more for herself and her boys.

If she said that to him, he’d assure her they’d make it work. That’s what Steven had said, too. Until making it work had become too onerous and he’d wanted out.

“M.K.? Let me be a part of your life.”

Mary Karen stifled a groan. She knew Travis. He wouldn’t stop until he’d convinced her.

“I have my standards, Trav,” she said softly, taking a step closer, crowding him. She lifted her hand and brushed a strand of hair back from his forehead. “I could never be with a man who cheats at poker.”

Travis’s eyes, which had darkened with passion, cleared and he chuckled. “It was strip poker. And you wanted that last piece of lingerie off as much as I did.”

She waved a hand. “So you say.”

But he caught her eye and they shared a smile.

Mary Karen resumed walking and Travis fell into place beside her. After several steps he cast a sideways glance. “Have you thought about who you’ll see for your OB care?”

Something about the way he asked the question made her suspicious. “Please don’t tell me you’re thinking of volunteering?”

“Well, I am the best.” The dimple in his cheek flashed. “But it’d be a conflict. You saw Tim Duggan for Logan. He’ll do a good job.”

The mere thought of walking into Travis’s practice, where she knew all of the doctors and most of the nurses made Mary Karen break out in a cold sweat. “I’m sure he would, but I was actually thinking of going to that new woman OB in town.”

“But we’re the premiere group in Jackson.” A frown furrowed Travis’s brow. “Why would you want to go anywhere else?”

“I walk into your clinic pregnant with your baby…and it will be all about you. What kind of delivery
you
think is best, how
you
think the pregnancy is progressing,” Mary Karen whispered although there was no one for miles. “What I want, what I feel, won’t even matter.”

Her voice broke. Yet, even as the words were leaving her lips, she’d known they weren’t true. Travis wasn’t that kind of guy. He wouldn’t take over and run the show. But how could she explain that picking the doctor was something she needed to do to show she was in control of some part of her life?

For a long moment, Travis didn’t speak. She knew he was surprised. After all, Tim had delivered Logan. Why would she switch now? And to a doctor who wasn’t even part of his group. She braced herself for an argument.

“I’ve heard good things about Dr. Kerns,” he said finally.

“You’re okay with me seeing her?”

“Do I have a choice?” His smile took any sting from the words.

“Of course you do,” she said, her defenses breached by his easy acquiescence. “This is your baby, too.”

“But it’s your body.” His expression had turned serious. “If seeing Dr. Kerns will make this pregnancy easier for you, I’m all for it.”

Her heart did a slow roll just as the alarm on her phone went off. Mary Karen glanced at the readout then back up at him. Normally her brother or her parents watched her children on the rare occasions when she went out. But tonight a high school girl was babysitting. She’d warned the boys to be nice, but didn’t hold out much hope. “I’m sorry but we’re going to have to go back. I promised the babysitter I’d be home by eleven.”

“No worries.” He crooked his arm and she slipped her hand through it. “It’s been a long day for both of us.”

They turned around and headed back to the car. By the time they reached the vehicle, the wind had picked up. Mary Karen slipped inside as soon as Travis opened the door.

After buckling her seat belt, she rested her head against the seat, suddenly fighting an overwhelming sense of fatigue. Warmth soon flooded the small vehicle wrapping itself around her like a favorite blanket. She closed her eyes for just a moment. When she opened them, Travis was pulling the car to a stop in front of her home.

“Sorry. I guess I’m a little tired,” she mumbled, letting her heavy lids drift shut again.

Travis chuckled. “I’d never have guessed.”

A moment later she felt a hand on her shoulder and a gentle shake. “C’mon, sleepyhead.”

Forcing her eyes open, Mary Karen stumbled out of the car. Travis took her arm, ignoring her protests. They’d barely stepped onto the porch when the door flung open. Erin, the sixteen-year-old babysitter, motioned them inside.

Dressed in skinny jeans and an oversize cotton sweater, belted at the waist, the girl looked as if she
could be in college instead of high school. Her family lived just down the street and she’d offered to watch the boys before, but the timing had never been right.

“Mrs. Vaughn, I did my best. I really tried.” The girl brushed a strand of hair back from her face, her cheeks as bright as her hair.

“What happened?” Mary Karen asked, a sick feeling filling the pit of her stomach. Unlike some mothers who seemed to be in a permanent state of denial about their children’s behavior, she operated under no such illusions.

“Logan was an angel. He’s been asleep since eight. But Connor and Caleb, well, they wouldn’t listen. They refused to go to bed. They even hid my chemistry book. It took me forever to find it.” For a second tears filled Erin’s large green eyes but she blinked them back. “And I have a test tomorrow.”

“I’m so sorry.” Mary Karen rested a hand on the girl’s shoulder, conscious of Travis standing beside her, taking it all in. If it was anyone else but him, she’d have been embarrassed to have them hear about her misbehaved children. But Travis had twin brothers.
Double trouble
weren’t just words to him. “You shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of behavior. Did they finally go to bed for you?”

Before Erin could respond, a large black-and-white cockapoo appeared in the foyer flanked by two little boys in identical red cartoon pajamas.

“I think that’s a no.” A smile played at the corners of Travis’s lips.

“Hi, Mommy.” Connor gave a little wave. “Hi, Travis.”

“Can we have a snack?” Caleb asked.

Mary Karen swallowed a groan.

Erin leaned close and spoke in a conspiratorial whisper. “They’ve already had two snacks.”

The babysitter’s perfume was a cloying floral scent and so strong the girl must have just spritzed it on. Mary Karen’s stomach lurched. She breathed through her mouth, fighting the urge to gag. When she realized she was losing the battle, she pressed her fingers to her lips and rushed from the room, a barking dog on her heels.

Over the boys’ curly heads, Travis met Erin’s confused gaze. He didn’t have a clue what had made M.K. move so quickly until he caught a whiff of Erin’s perfume. Then he understood. Pregnant women were notoriously sensitive to odors, er, scents.