If You Don't Know Me (27 page)

1.
Which character is smarter, Madison or Sindy? How long do you think Madison will wait before she remarries?

2.
Would Chicago marry Sindy if he knew she was involved in falsifying the paternity test?

3.
If you had to marry one or the other, would it be Chicago or Chaz? Why?

4.
When Chicago said to Sindy, “My chef prepared a chili bean casserole and a spinach quiche. It's in the oven. If you don't mind heating it up, that would make your man happy,” do you believe he sent a mixed message? What examples can you give of men acting as though a relationship is more than what it is?

5.
Men often talk about “marriage material.” Realizing no one is perfect, which character would you marry? Which two characters would you like to see married?

6.
Did Madison deserve to get played in the end? Do you know anyone who has lied about the paternity of a child? If your best friend confided in you that she'd lied to a man and told him he was the father, what would you do? What if the liar was your child? Is it your right to get involved?

7.
Deception is deeper than love. Why do people, lie, cheat, and abuse their spouse, then beg that person to stay? Have you messed up then pleaded for forgiveness? Did staying make the relationship better or worse? Can you truly forgive someone after they've broken your heart?

8.
Granville: Is he happy with his new wife? Does he deserve happiness? Or should he be behind bars?

9.
If you had millions of dollars, would you give your soon-to-be ex financial stability if they'd lied to you repeatedly? Why is Chicago extremely generous with Madison? Do you think they'll get back together?

10.
Would you agree with Granville's perspective, “Freedom was more important than telling the truth. That's why people hired lawyers to get them off the hook.” What relatable situations are you aware of?

11.
Should Madison have allowed the judge to have an independent paternity test? What type of relationship would Madison have with Chicago if he knew the child was his? Would Madison have moved on with her life or constantly tried to destroy any relationship Chicago would've had? Or continuously fought to remain Mrs. DuBois?

12.
What do you believe attracted Chaz to Numbiya? How can you tell if a man is “the marrying kind”?

13.
How many people do you know who could be bought/ bribed for two million dollars? Would they kill someone for that amount of money?

14.
Breast implants: Should women get them for cosmetic purposes? What part of your body would you enhance?

15.
Do you believe, “Sometimes doing the wrong thing is right?” Have you ever intentionally deceived someone? If so, why?

J
ust when you think you've picked the right dick, he fucks up.

I'm not dumbing down this book by censoring what needs to be said. Your mama probably never told you what your daddy has always known. Dicks respond to stimulation, not intellect. Think about all the men you never thought would cheat on their wives. One of those women might be you. Or she may have married a former president, the head of the CIA, or an MVP in the NBA.

Why men cheat is not complicated. What puzzles me is when a woman discovers her man is sexing another woman, or man, they're shocked. After reading
D.A.D.: A Woman's Guide to Choosing the Right One
, you'll see why I say, “Dicks are dumb.”

I've never met a dick that was impressed with a woman's brain. If she's willing to give him brain (oral sex), that dick will pay attention. In most instances, there is no promise to call the woman the next day. If a woman doesn't know what she wants before she opens her legs, after he cums, he's done.

I'm writing this book to primarily empower women. Secondarily, to educate men. Ladies need help identifying the men who are dumber than their dicks and understand why these guys do not care about the women they fuck. Remember this: Whenever you let a dick choose you, you will get fucked. Choose your dick wisely, ladies. That means, at least one of you is thinking ahead.

When I hear about books like
He's Just Not That Into You
and
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man
, I'm not impressed. I'm not mad at the authors for whatever their reason/motivation may be for giving women advice but I'm getting ready to connect with women on a deeper level. Why? Because I, like every real woman, have a pussy and the men who write books for us do not.

There's a belief that, if men write relationship books for women, they'll make a lot of money. And that has proven to be true. I've been told that I shouldn't write a relationship book because women don't want advice from another woman. I disagree. Anyone who believes a man can understand women better than a woman is disillusioned. Keep reading, I'm going to tell you why.

What men can count on is the fact that women are emotional. Lots of women have no idea why they can't get or keep a man. Therefore, it's easy for a man to sell a woman hope. Why? Because hope is the only thing greater than fear.

There are millions of lonely single women with low self-esteem, and I hate to admit, some have little to no common sense when it comes to dealing with a man. Quite a few women don't understand why they don't have a man. Change the way you think. Change the way you live.

Having a healthy relationship isn't complicated when women understand that men are selfish and self-centered. Men are hardwired to produce babies, not to parent kids. Don't let your dick shrivel up, dudes, this shit is true. I'll break it down for you later.

I doubt if men who write books for women honestly want to help women make better relationship choices. If they cared about us, they wouldn't have been the ones fucking us over in the first place.

Men have no idea how many women have been sexually abused by men before having their first relationship, first love, or first orgasm. Perhaps they do know because many of them are the ones that use, abuse, molest, or rape young girls. When I say young, I'm talking about starting with girls under the age of ten. Fast-forward six years; sixteen isn't always so sweet for us but how many male authors have touched on this subject matter? Topics are generally about what we're doing wrong. What we need to do differently. They approach relationships as if we are the problem. No, we are not.

This reminds me of the pastors who tried to molest me as a young girl. The first one was my best friend's dad. I was about thirteen. We were in his house. He locked the bedroom door, kissed me on my lips, and said, “I want you to be my spoogie.” I left and didn't go to my girlfriend's house for a very long time.

The other reverend invited me on a picnic outside of New Orleans and tried to have sex with me. During the trip, he sniffed cocaine in front of me. I was fourteen but I was also glad I'd invited a girlfriend. I was smart enough not to go alone with him. After this happened, I'd sit in the pew on Sundays, watching the same man behind the pulpit constantly wipe his nose as he preached about how fornication is a sin.

What these two pastors didn't realize was that my ninety-something-year-old great-grandfather had beat both of them to my pussy. At seven years old I'd already been molested. At sixteen, I was raped by a stranger, on the streets of my hometown, New Orleans. At twenty-three, I was beaten by my husband. I mean the balling of the fist, cocking back of the arm, punch after punch to my face. I divorced him immediately. No woman deserves that.

I guess I was supposed to pick
myself
up, dust
myself
off, and pretend nothing bad ever happened. Two out of three, I did that. The third one, forget that. I'm not the only woman with a mental Rolodex of men who have mistreated women. I believe most men are good but I also know all of them are not.

Men do not understand and acknowledge their roles in why some women are sexually repressed and others are promiscuous. Or why some women have a gold-digging, “I'm going to use him before he uses me” attitude. I'm sick of men saying black women are too strong. What are we to do when some of our men are acting like women? I'll tell you later.

Men claim they're looking for the right one after stomping on a hundred and one. How about they go back and apologize to the women they've mistreated? Women are not grapes and these guys wouldn't know fine wine if a barrel fell on their heads. They want a lady after treating other women like whores. My question is, “Who's supposed to love the whores?”

I'm done with womanizers giving advice to women about relationships when what they should be writing about is teaching boys and men how to stop treating girls and women like bitches.

Men don't know us ladies. I believe a man will never treat his woman/wife the way he expects another man to treat his daughter. All that “I wish a man would mistreat or disrespect my daughter, he's going to have to deal with me. I'll shoot his ass.” Then you might as well put a bullet in the chamber, put a gun to your head, and pull the trigger because you're not the exception.

Men want us to accept their double standards. Men who use women, abuse women, carelessly sex women, abandon women they've impregnated, and often secretly despise women wake up and say, “I can tell women how to get a good man because all the things that shouldn't be done to a woman, I've done all that shit and then some. But I'm a good dog now.” Sure. Like his ass went to and graduated from obedience school. There is no dean's list for dicks. There's only a dick list and most men at some point during their lives rank magna cum lousy.

What the fuck ever. Give me a break. I'm getting ready to give it to you straight.

Whether he lies through his teeth or bites you in the ass, ladies, my point is he's still got the same teeth. Men have misused countless women in numerous ways and all of sudden they care enough to write a book?

The same men who couldn't count their one-night stands on both hands and feet because they've eaten all the coochie out of countless cookie jars are telling women to keep your legs closed for three months. A man who repeatedly fucks women, comes inside of women, shows up at a woman's front (and perhaps back) door at two in the morning feels the woman is not worthy of being his wife. In fact, she's at the bottom of his list but he doesn't have the balls to tell her the truth because he loves putting the pussy on pause just in case he's not done satisfying his dick.

I'm here to tell you ladies that women rule. Dicks are dumb. How dumb are they? You can start in the gutter and work your way up to the top of any corporation. Think about the CEOs, NFL and NBA players, OB/GYNs who give more than a checkup, or the men in the pen. Every ethnicity on earth has a generational list of DaDs. In this case DaD stands for “dumb-ass dicks.” We can flip it, ladies.

Keep reading this book, a book written by a woman who understands men.

If you're looking for a smart dick, zero in on his heart, ladies. A dumb dick is easy to spot because it hides behind a set of balls. The smart man is thoughtful and he's considerate . . . of you. He actually respects a woman before he beds her and he wants to talk to her the next day and the days after.

A dumb dick cums every single chance it gets. A hole is a hole is a hole even if it's an asshole.

Ladies, it's up to you to interview the dick and administer an oral exam. It's not the kind of lip service the dumb dick is hoping for. The smart one will understand your concerns.

Training a dick is like learning to speak a foreign language. It will not happen overnight. First, you must be able to identify what kind of dick you have. I'm not going to lie; it's hard but I'm going to help you.

You'll have to do a background check on his dick to find out where it's been, what it's been up and into. You need to know what his dick has accomplished in its lifetime.

Then, you'll have to think ahead of the dick. You'll have to develop a teach-him-a-lesson plan. You'll have to know what the dick is thinking before the dick knows what it's thinking. This part isn't as hard as it seems.

Dicks do not roll over and do what you want them to simply because you yell, cry, and say so. Training will require the greatest degree of patience and persistence.

Last, you'll have to administer a pass-or-fail test. If he's close, you decide if you want to grade based on his curve. If he fails, do not change his score. Let the dumb-ass dick go.

It's time for women to exercise their female power and stop shrinking. No more being brainwashed by dicks that try to rule you.

When you think about it, ladies . . . dicks like brain; they do not have one. They're incapable of processing information. They don't remember shit. So exactly how are you going to conquer this arduous task? Definitely not by thinking like a man.

Ladies, you have to act like a bitch and think like a dick.

Woman: You want some pussy?

Man: Yeah.

Woman: You want to fuck raw?

Man: Yeah.

Woman: You want to marry me?

Man: (stares off to the side)

Woman: You want to pay child support?

Man: Hell, no.

Woman: You want some pussy?

Man: Yeah.

A man and his dick are joined at the hip. Pussy ain't free! Stop giving yours away.

Ladies, you don't have to ask a man the aforementioned questions but I suggest you do. The answers from most men will be the same as above. I don't care if he's single, married, unemployed, or a billionaire, too many men feel entitled to fuck your good pussy for free but they do not feel obligated to do right by you.

What I mean by “right” is accepting responsibility for his actions. Respecting you after he has sex with you. Calling the same or next day. Picking up the entire tab for a minimum of three dates before he allows you to pay. I'll expand on what and when a woman should pay for later in the book.

Ladies, it's mandatory that you learn how to interview a dick. When you look into a man's eyes, have a conversation with his manhood. Don't take his responses personally. If you verbally attack him, his dick will hide behind his balls. That's the next chapter. Your goal is to determine if he's worthy of penetrating your good pussy.

Keep in mind that lots of men claim they're looking for the right or a good woman. If you listen carefully and let him talk more than you, you'll find that most men cannot articulate what they want. They can't clearly tell you what they mean by right or good as it relates to the woman they allege they want. They're confused because their dicks are the frontline communicators when it comes to women.

You're not trying to change him. Your goal is to understand him.

Woman: Are you looking for a woman like your mother?

Regardless of his answer, follow up with, “Why?” Or “Why not?”

Woman: So, if you're looking for a woman like your mom, I guess you don't want me to suck your dick. Has your mother ever sucked your dick?

Don't give a damn if he's offended. Men need to stop trying to find their mother. Babies need their mommies, not men. Hopefully, he has a sense of humor and will laugh. If he does, ladies, restart the conversation.

Woman: So you're not exactly looking for a woman like your mother. What type of woman do you really want?

Most men claim they want a hard-working, dedicated, housecleaning, floor-sweeping, respectable woman to marry and have babies with but they don't. Men want two types of women. Some want a shiny bitch on their arm and not necessarily a gold-digger but a gold-digger will suffice for the short run. Others want a woman who can financially support herself (and sometimes him) so he doesn't have to. This type of guy takes “Why buy the cow, if you can get the milk for free” to a higher level because he will marry the cow. He just won't pay for her shit.

Woman: Are you happy with yourself and your life?

You must ask that question. Men love to pursue ladies who are happy. When they meet a joyful woman, slowly they steal her zest for life by imposing their expectations. The things he loved about you, he now despises or dislikes. He doesn't want you dressing too sexy or being too friendly. Actually, when you tone it down to the point where you're miserable, he's happy.

Ladies, stay upbeat throughout the conversation. If you find that he's depressing or stressing you out, don't dwell on his unhappiness. Your objective is not to save him. Remember you're interviewing his dick.

Depressed man = Frustrated dick.

While it's important to keep an open mind, you must start with the end in mind. That means you need to know what you want from this dick before having sex and/or a relationship with him. Do you want to be his woman, his wife, or his convenience?

Based on his responses to your questions, determine your level of interest. On your first date, don't give him too many details about what you do, where you live, how many kids you have or want, and definitely don't talk about your exes. Yes, you want to know about his exes but not on the first date. If he mentions an ex, tell him, “I'm interested in getting to know you, not her. You can tell me about her some other time.” Leave the door open for that discussion because there is valuable information in that room.

When women tell guys about their exes, men automatically start comparing themselves. If they conclude they don't measure up, they will emotionally check out. Oh, he'll still fuck you but that's all you're going to get . . . is fucked.

When a man constantly talks about his ex, either he's angry about the breakup because it was all her fault or he's still in love with her. It's that simple.

Listen carefully and you might start off thinking he's smart but soon realize his dick shines brighter than his brain.

Make sure you're dressed delicious. Dazzling eyelashes and succulent lipstick will make him focus on your eyes and mouth when you're talking with him. Go someplace where it's fun. I prefer going to upscale bars when it's not too busy. Brunch where they serve bottomless mimosas, a nice evening scenic drive, or casual stroll can keep the mood flowing in a positive direction but I don't do free dates until well into the relationship (sometimes I'll use “rela” for short).

Dating is like a relay race. The only difference is, like a talk-show host, you never relinquish your baton, ladies. Hold on to and stay ahead of your dick.

Ladies, you control the tempo of the convo. Don't ask him all of these questions at once. Randomly ask some of the questions face to face and others over the phone.

Let's get this interview started with some important and fun compliments, comments, and questions. Dick's responses are simply for entertainment. Ladies, you want to ask these questions and process your date's answers.

Comment: I don't want you inside of me, because I don't like what's inside of you.

Compliment: I love to feel you inside of me, because I really like what's inside of you.

Woman: What do you like most about women?

Dick: Pussy.

Woman: What do you love most about pussy?

Dick: You know. New pussy. More than one pussy at a time. Shit like that.

Woman: Have you ever been faithful?

Dick: (looking around as though the question was intended for another dick or the answer should be obvious) Well, you know. In my heart, yes. But there's so many fine women in the world it's hard to stay focused.

Woman: Is that a no?

Dick: No what?

Woman: Let's move on. Tell me about the most attractive woman you've dated. What attracted you to her?

Dick: (The dick is standing tall on his nuts; a smile crosses his face as he shakes his heads.) Aw man. I fucked that up. She was a model. Tall, long legs, nice breasts shaped like honeydew melons. She has ass for days and those dick-sucking lips . . .

Woman: Why did the relationship end?

Dick: I fucked up. Fucked her girlfriend. But her girlfriend was fine as hell too.

Woman: What do you need in order to be fulfilled in a relationship?

Dick: That's a good question. I need a good woman.

Woman: Can you explain?

Dick: You know women these days act like men. I need one that knows her place. How to treat me like a king. Have my back. Sex me real good. Can't stand no loose or lazy pussy. She can't be like that. Truth be told she doesn't have to be supermodel fine as long as she's down for me.

Woman: Are you currently satisfied emotionally, sexually, and financially?

Dick: Never satisfied. But I try to keep my emotions out of it. Females be trying to break me down. All that sentimental shit makes my dick soft so when I keep my head straight I can bust a nut and keep my mind on my money. Sometimes my flow is smooth.

Woman: Are you emotionally available to have a healthy friendship with a woman?

Dick: Healthy being the operative word, you trying to trick a dude with that shit. See that's where women fall short. I don't need another friend. If that's all she wants to be, when all I'm down to do is hit it, I tell her whatever lie works for me until I get it.

Woman: What stimulates you sexually? How often do you think about sex and how frequently do you like to have sex?

Dick: Damn, you got a lotta questions. I think about sex all day . . . off and on, you know. I be chilling then I pull up in my ride next to some double Ds strapped between a seatbelt and my shit gets hard. I wish I could cum a million times a day because the feeling makes me feel incredibly stupid.

Woman: Of course you are.

Dick: (frowning)

Woman: I mean of course it does. Do you prefer oral sex or intercourse?

Dick: Don't matter. Oral is more about me watching her suck my dick. Sliding my shit down her throat. Aw, man, and don't let her have those big juicy lips with that lil split in the middle of her bottom lip. If you not gon' suck my dick you need to stop teasing me with all these questions.

Woman: Why did your last relationship end?

Dick: She started acting like I couldn't make decisions for myself. Started treating me like a kid. Telling me what I could and couldn't do. Checking my phone. My computer. Questioning my Facebook post and friends. Following me on Twitter. She was so busy trying to keep a trace she couldn't keep pace. Had to let her go. But I still hit that pussy every now and then. You know how it is.

Woman: How was your first sexual experience and how old were you at the time?

Dick: Aw, man. I was ten. She was thirteen. Said she wanted to practice giving head. Didn't know what she meant at first. But when I felt her lips, I was scared at first. And when my body released them white fluids I thought I was dying. I wish she hadn't taken my virginity that way. See women think guys want that but I never saw females the same after that. All that sugar and spice didn't mean nothing after that. All I wanted from a female was sex. I was not trying to get serious.

Woman: Is that the reason you have a hard time being faithful?

Dick: (shaking his head again) Nah. For real. Most of the time I don't know what I want. I'm easily distracted. It's hard as hell to stay focused. One minute I think I want this, then a fine female smile at me all friendly and shit then I want that . . . but not for long. After I hit it, I'm bored.

Woman: Do you prefer being in a monogamous relationship or having multiple partners?

Dick: Next question.

Woman: Okay. What do you believe a woman's role is in a relationship?

Dick: You asked me that shit already. A woman's role is to support her man to the fullest. I can't stand that on-again off-again shit. One minute she's down. The next day she hates me. Then she tells me to leave but she doesn't want me to go. Maybe if she knew what she wanted, I'd know what I wanted.

Woman: Well, dick. Thanks for your time.

Dick: What you doin' after this?

Woman: Definitely not you.

Best Advice: Always know what you want, ladies. If you don't know what you want, you will end up with a dick.