If You Still Want Me (12 page)

Read If You Still Want Me Online

Authors: CE Kilgore

Tags: #romance, #texas, #lgbt, #bdsm, #dallas, #polyamory, #polyamorous, #lgbt romance

BOOK: If You Still Want Me
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This will be the last time I do this -
fantasizing about my best friend in the shower while I jack off.
This will be the last time before that fantasy becomes a reality.
After this moment and from now on, I want to share every moment of
my pleasure with him.

 

Saul

 

Austin's takin' his sweet-ass time in the
shower, and I'm pretty damn sure I know why. Me an' him were both
'bout ready ta' blow. Hot damn, that's one shower I'll never
forget.

As the bathroom door opens to reveal his hard,
tan abs above a crisp white towel, I get the feelin' this is gonna
be a whole night I'll remember forever. His black hair, curled by
the damp, drips onto his shoulder, each drop begging me to watch as
they trickle across the valleys and peaks of his figure. One drop
strays close to a nipple, its dark circle puckered from the cool
air.

The tip of my tongue flicks against my teeth.
Damn. I want to taste him.

A few drops coast along the lines of his
tattoos; faded, simple lines done in blue, prison-ink acting as a
calendar for the time he spent behind bars. He hides them most of
the time, so I take this chance to take him all in - all that he
is, prison-inked skin and all. It don't bother me none, those lines
that help tell the story 'a who he is an' where he's been. They're
part 'a him, an' I love every piece.

His gray eyes stare at me for a long moment, his
feet unmoving. I give him a little smiled greeting, a slice of
pizza half bitten and my legs hanging open as I lay perched up on
one elbow. I'm naked as my birthday, ready an' waitin' for that
punishment he done promised me.

With a deep inhale, he crosses
his arms and gives me a stern look. That look has my cock swellin'
before he's even put a finger on me. I
knew
he could be the dominant I need.

"You better not have answered the door like
that."

Let the games begin
. I
bat my eyelashes innocently. "But the guy gave me a discount on
account 'a my big dick."

His gaze drops to between my
legs were my pierced dick bobs a '
hello,
cowboy'
. One of his black eyebrows raises.
"How much of a discount?"

He's playin' with me, and it's fuckin' awesome.
I wink at his continued stern assessment. "I got us five dollars
off, plus a coupon for free bread sticks with our next meal. Oh,
an' I got his number."

The gray in his irises darkens. "You got ripped
off. Your cock is worth at least ten bucks off and free wings."

"Well..." I swallow hard as he leans down, his
hands fisted on the mattress next to me. A low growl rumbles in his
throat, an' how I don't fuckin' blow my load right then, I got no
clue.

"As for his number -
lose it
. You belong to
me
and Victoria. Tonight, I'm going to remind you
that you're mine, then tomorrow, we'll see about getting Victoria
back where she belongs."

My heart leaps. "With us?"

His gaze softens as his subtle, loving smile
brightens my whole world. "With us," he nods once then kisses my
shoulder.

It's all the right things ta' say to have me
quiverin' against the sheets. I knew this could fuckin' work - that
he and I could find a middle ground. Victoria knew it, too, and
that's probably one of the reasons she left me - so he an' I could
have this chance. It's not the only reason, though, and I'd be a
damn fool for thinkin' so.

"I..." A sharp inhale has me settin' the pizza
aside. I don't rightly understand why the feelin' of guilt shows
up, but I guess it's just one 'a the ways I'm a bit fucked-up
inside. Maybe that's why I'm so damn needy; why I've done made
Vickie sick 'a me. I don't want Austin to get sick 'a me, too.

"I answered the door in my
jeans, and the delivery
girl
had
ta' be at least fifty."

"I know, darlin'," the soothing calm in his
voice stops those feelings in my stomach from takin' over. He sits
next to me, his hand brushin' through my hair. "If I didn't trust
you, this wouldn't be happening. Now, how much have you eaten?"

His finger lifts the pizza box lid up to have a
peek inside, so I answer honestly. "Just this one."

A frown weighs his mouth down. "Still not
hungry?"

"Just nervous 'bout tomorrow. What if... What if
she's really done with me?"

"I don't think that's possible, Saul. She loves
you too much to break up with you over the phone. I think this was
just another one of her pushes, control freak that she is."

I gotta snort a laugh at that, 'cause part of my
brain has been thinkin' the same damn thing. "Guess it worked?"

"I don't know," he smirks, tracing my chin with
a finger. "Did it?"

I nip the finger, draw it into my mouth and give
it a nice long suck before he pulls it away. "Why don't you lose
the towel and we find out, cowboy."

His eyes make a slow pass down my body before he
moves the pizza box to the table. "You're going to eat this
later."

Each of my muscles is twitchin' like I can feel
him touchin' me as I nod in compliance to his words. "Yes,
sir."

"But now," he stands next to
the bed again as the towel drops to the floor. "
Voy a
hacerte el amor, Saúl."

Fuck
me. The sound 'a
his Spanish rumblin' so low in a promised whisper as he eases onto
the bed has every part 'a me on edge. I don't rightly know what he
said. Somethin' 'bout love; the love I can see clearly translated
in the way he's lookin' at me.

His gaze flicks to the bedside lamp. "Light on
or off?"

"On, please. I... I wanna see
you."
So I don't ever forget the look in your
eyes.

"Good," he grins.

My brow raises high. "Like ta' watch,
cowboy?"

"
Saúl
," his head dips down to
nip my shoulder. "I've been watching you for two damn years.
I
love
to watch you. I'm going to
watch with pleasure as my cock slides in and out of your ass, and
then I'm going to watch that moment when you come so fucking hard,
you can't think straight for days. I want to watch it
all
and
never
forget it."

"Oh, damn," my whole body convulses. His accent
is thick and his words are filled with deviant promises I want him
to fulfill. "Yes, please."

"Alright," he smiles again then speaks softly as
featherlight touches tickle down my chest. "Next question-"

I have a feeling where this is going - those
necessary questions when two people come together for the first
time. I'm so used to dealing with them at the club, that I'd
already prepared my answer. Stopping his words with a snuck kiss, I
reach under the pillow to withdraw the stash I'd hidden
earlier.

I hold out the lube and condom to him but make
sure he understands where I stand. "I Assist at the club, but I
only have intercourse with Vickie, an' you know Brandon requires
members ta' get tested, anyway. I'm clean. I trust you, too,
Austin, so the condom is up ta' you."

Taking the condom from my fingers, he looks at
it a moment then sets it aside on the nightstand. His eyes get all
serious when he turns them back to me. "If you've only had sex with
Victoria, does that mean I'll be the first to be inside you?"

Christ.
When he puts it
that way, I can
feel
the jittery
anticipation building. Austin is gonna be my first. I can't think
of anyone else I'd ever trust enough with this. It should scare the
shit out of me, given the history, but it doesn't. Having him close
is keeping all those shadows away.

With a slow inhale, I nod. "Vickie's offered,
with a strap-on, I mean, but... I just... with what happened
and-"

"Shh," he pulls me into his
strong arms, and I don't reckon I've felt this secure in a long
time. "I know, darlin'. That's why we're going to take this as slow
or as fast as you need. Anytime, you say '
oak tree'
and I'll gladly just hold you the rest of the
night and be content with it."

My smile blossoms against his shoulder. He knows
my safe-word - the one me an' Vickie picked out because 'a the
tree-fort in that old oak tree I used to run to after...

No
. I aint goin' there.
Those damn shadows can kiss my skinny ass tonight. Tonight, I'm
gonna rebuild that part 'a myself, with Austin's help, an' come out
better for it.

"I'm ready for this," my voice trembles a bit,
but it's not 'cause I'm afraid. "I want this, Austin. I want it so
damn bad, and I want it with you. Only you. This part 'a me - it's
yours from now on."

His hold on me tightens. "Thank you," he
whispers.

It's simple words, but I can hear everything
behind them. "I love you, Austin."

"I love you, Saul," his reply lights a fire in
my heart, an' all them shadows is obliterated.

The fire shoots sparks across my skin until it
rages like an inferno as his lips trace ghosted kisses along my
neck. The pain Victoria gives to me helps keep my mind focused so I
can let myself take pleasure in something that was ruined for me a
long time ago. Austin's gentle strength is havin' the same effect
as Vickie's flogger. It shocks me, an' I can't wait to experience
both sensations together.

Those kisses continue, then his teeth are on my
pulse, biting into the nerve and makin' me quiver in his grasp. He
aint let me go yet; those calloused, workin'-man's hands gliding
across my skin and holdin' me near. Two fingers find and pinch my
nipple, a choked gasp expelling past my lips as he expertly rolls
that nipple taught.

Damn, his hands are fuckin' incredible.

That same hand abandons my nipple, much to my
whimpering protests, but as those fingers skirt along the line
under my belly button, my protests are exchanged for urging pleas.
I can feel the heat 'a his hand hoverin' so close to my dick. My
dick strains to be touched; weeps to have my lover's hand around
it.

My lover aint no fool, though. Austin is a damn
tease, and I love him for it.

One finger touches the piercing at my cock's
tip, then leaves me wanting. That same, evil finger trails a line
down the bottom 'a my shaft before his hand surrounds my sac with a
soft squeeze. That move has me arching into the sheets. "Oh,
fuck!"

When his finger tickles my
taint, I think I might just keel over from the vibrations hittin'
me from head ta' toe. "
Please
," I'm
beggin', because that finger is just a small taste 'a what I know's
ta' come.

"Open your eyes, Saul."

Wait
, what? Holy shit,
I didn't even realize I'd closed them. The man's barely touched me
an' already he's got me losin' my damn mind.

"Open them," he gently commands.

"Yes, sir," I open them to his smile, an' that
gorgeous sight makes me want to never close them again.

His reward to my obedience is moving that finger
farther south to tap against the tight ring 'a muscle that's
tingling with anticipation. All my sensations have centered around
that point as much as the head 'a my swollen dick. When his finger
strokes my entrance, it damn near undoes me.

"That what you want?"

"Please!" I cry in response. I
gotta feel his fingers back inside me like they was in the shower.
I
need
it. "Please, Austin. Don't
tease me no more."

"I've just begun, darlin'.
Like I said;
Voy a hacerte el amor
- I'm going to make love to you all night long."

Oh. So that's what that means.
Woo-boy. Ye-up, me an' Dora are gonna become close friends after
this. "Please? Uh,
más rápido por favor
?"

My sorry accent and cartoon-learned Spanish
makes him chuckle, then one eyebrow raises as he glances at the
lube bottle. "Peppermint?"

I bite my lip to stop from
grinnin' like a damn fool. "I may or may not wear your Chapstick
that's in my truck from time ta' time."

That admission has the sexiest expression
forming on his face - hooded eyes, tight flexing jaw and a sly
smile that has all my parts awake. "Roll over," his low voice
orders.

Oh, fuckin' hell-yeah!
I can't get rolled over fast enough, and he slaps my ass as I
flounder a bit in the sheets. With a kiss between my shoulder
blades, he reaches above me to grab a pillow, then he's shovin'
that pillow under my hips. The fabric rubs against my cock, and by
instinct I rub back.

That earns me another smack against my left
ass-cheek. "Hold still."

"Yes, sir," though I wiggle just a little bit
more, winning me a third smack and some chuckling. I love his
laugh; always have. Deep, rolling thunder, but soothing instead of
ominous. That laugh lets me know I'm in the trusted presence of my
best friend; it lets me know I'm safe.

The sound 'a the bottle cap snapping shut lets
me know I'm about to get what I've been begging him for since the
shower. Two fingers circle my entrance then across it, lubing the
area with a slick glide that has my thigh muscles burning with the
urge to push against his hand. The fingers leave, I whimper at
their departure, then both his strong hands are gripping my ass
cheeks.

Sweet mother of-
!

My thoughts die in an explosion 'a sparks as he
parts those cheeks and dives into my hole with the hot flick of his
tongue. The tip penetrates me, then leaves me aching for more
before his mouth suckles my taint. That area of nerves sends rapid
jitters up my spine, but what I want is to feel full.

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