Ignite (27 page)

             
“So what do you do for yourself now?” I kindly asked. I just wanted to break the ice, find a middle ground where we could be amicable with one another without the constant death glares.

             
“I’m in business,” he answered gruffly. This was good. He was talking, albeit like I was the biggest inconvenience in the world, but talking nonetheless.

             
“What sort of business?”

             
“Nothing illegal if that’s what you’re getting at.” Now
that
sounded defensive as hell.

             
“That’s not what I meant at all.”

             
“Yeah, sure,” he sceptically replied.

             
“I’m sorry if I gave you that impression.”

             
He flashed me an odd look then. “I bet you are.”

             
I sighed in hopelessness. “You know, I’m just trying to be nice–”

             
“I don’t give a fuck. I didn’t ask you to be
nice
. I don’t even want to fucking talk to you. So how about you sit there and shut up so I can concentrate on the fucking road and not you yammering away like we’re the best of fucking buds, huh?”

             
My jaw dropped. Did I really deserve that kind of backlash? “If I’m such an irritation to you, then why’d you come after me?” I responded tightly. I refused to let the anger set in, though. “I didn’t ask you to drive me back.”

             
“Believe me, I didn’t fucking want to.”

             
“Then why did you?”

             
“My girlfriend thinks you deserved a lift.”

             
“Why didn’t she give me the lift then?”

             
“What the fuck are you trying to get at right now?” He looked over at me as he spoke, flaring his nostrils as if I smelled vile to him.

             
I shook my head. “Nothing. I’m sorry if I offended you.”

             
He scoffed, smiling cruelly at me. “You can stop this charade of being all nice. You can go back to being your normal self now.”

             
“This
is
me,” I said quietly, looking away from the hardness of his eyes. I would never get my Jaxon back; that was for certain now. “I’m not putting on a charade. Why would I bother when I know perfectly what you think of me?”

             
He pressed his lips together. He knew exactly what I was referring to.

             
“In any case,” I continued on, casually, “tell your girlfriend I said thanks. She seems like a very lovely woman.”

             
He couldn’t look more disinterested if he tried.

             
My phone rang in my purse. I quickly retrieved it. A phone call was exactly what I needed right now to diffuse my negative emotions because it was most likely from Lexi or Daniel.

             
“Hey Daniel,” I answered, smiling brightly as I nibbled the skin around my thumb.

             
“Hey booty call, I haven’t heard from you. I’ve texted you a few times now.” The sound of his concerned voice mellowed my irritated mood immediately.

             
“Sorry, I’ve been busy today.”

             
“Did you get a rental car?”

             
“No. What if that one gets stolen too? The last thing I need is two stolen cars in under two days.”

             
“You’re still at the motel? I told you to check in somewhere else.”

             
“Yeah, I know. I will. It’s just there’s no other place as close to my mother’s house.”

             
He sighed, clearly unhappy. “Please be careful.”

             
“I am careful. Don’t worry about me.” From my peripheral I saw a tense movement from Jaxon, but when I snuck a glance at him, he looked motionless and blank faced.

             
“I worry about you because I need you. Who else keeps my bed warm at night?”

             
“Haven’t replaced me yet, have you?” I teased, though half of me wondered if he might have gotten tempted.

             
“Can’t get enough of you. How about you? Not tempted by anyone?” There was a strange tightness in his tone, and I detected that’s where his concern stemmed from.

             
“There’s just you,” I whispered, not wanting to sour the intimate moment all because Jaxon was sitting next to me.

             
“I like that. Call me before bed, okay?”

             
“Okay.”

             
“See ya, babe.”

             
“See you…” I paused and glanced again at Jaxon, “babe.”  I hung up the phone and stuffed it back into my purse. If I wanted Jaxon to be bothered by my “babe” reference to Daniel, it was mission unaccomplished. By a long shot. In fact, I think a statue held more emotion than him.

             
“So tell me,” he suddenly said, and there was an edge in his voice as he glimpsed at me, “if your guy’s so serious about you, why’d he leave you to take care of all your personal shit on your own all the way out here?”

             
“He offered to come with me. I said no.”

             
“Always getting your way, huh? Is this guy some passive pussy or something?”

             
“What?”

             
“I mean, he must be, right? Those are the only fuckers that can hack your bullshit.”

             
My heart quickened. “Excuse me?”

             
He smirked. “Well, I mean, either he’s a fucking pussy, or he’s a fucking pussy. It has to be either of those. Did you hit him to get your way?”

             
My breathing came faster. What the fuck was his problem? I didn’t respond, and stared out the window instead.
Just breathe
, I told myself.
Breathe because he’s trying to hurt you—

             
“You must have been nice to begin with,” he continued on, and I could feel the heat of his gaze. “He must have thought, ‘fuck, this girl’s perfect’ and then willingly had himself wrapped around your little finger, right? Then the trying stops and the insults come out–”

             
“Okay, Jaxon,” I interrupted, feeling my lips tremble. “You’ve made your point, okay?”

             
But he pretended he didn’t hear me. “And then you bring him down every damn day until he feels like a worthless piece of shit. Or maybe we’re not at that stage yet. Judging by the little ‘babe’ reference there, I think you’re still in that honeymoon phase. Aw, how precious. I remember our little honeymoon phase–”

             
“I thought it was highly forgettable.”

             
“Everything was forgettable. I don’t even remember why the fuck I touched you to begin with. For one, I could get hotter girls on tap every fucking day of my life. For another, the fucking was bland as hell. Nothing voyeuristic about you one bit, but fuck, maybe you’ve changed with this pussy whipped loser you’re with now.” Sneer. “Doubt it, though, seeing as how you never tried anything new. See with chicks like Christy, they’ll bend over fucking backwards to touch me. Hell, I can bend her over in front of a crowd and she’ll take it without a problem.”

             
“Can you stop, please?” I was shaking now, but I kept my voice calm and even.

             
“What, am I making you angry? I haven’t even gotten to the best bit. See, you’re so fucking forgettable, I came home
that
night and basked in the companion of silence. I couldn’t even remember why the fuck I pissed away all that time with you.”

             
I’d been waiting for the opportunity, and it was finally approaching. The car slowed down at a stop light, and I quickly opened the door and jumped out, slamming it shut behind me. I didn’t know exactly where I was, but I wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

             
I was immediately drenched again, caught in the storm that was so thick, I could hardly see anything around me. I took off down the side of the deserted road, holding tight my purse, in search of a bus stop or even an open store that I could duck into the shelter of. My heart was heavy in my chest, weighed down by the cruelty of his words. Such venom, I couldn’t hold back. I opened my mouth to let the sob out, but it was soundless, like my pain. The tears fell fast as I looked around. Then a hand grabbed my arm and yanked me back into Jaxon’s chest.

             
“Get in the car,” he demanded, looking down at me with thunderous eyes.

             
I ripped my arm out of his grip. “Leave me alone. Just go back home.”

             
“You’re a long way from a bus stop. We’re on a long strip of road–”

             
“I’ll be fine. Just go away.” I took off again before he could say a word.

             
Both arms wrapped around my waist and I was lifted up into the air and carried back. I violently shook my body, trying to get him to put me down, but he was massive, and with my legs a few feet off the ground, it was a feeble action that only exhausted me. He set me down and caged me in against the passenger door of the car, with arms splayed out on either side of me.

             
“Get away from me,” I said, and maybe it was the pain mingled with the freezing cold water drenching the two of us, but that anger I’d been trying so damn hard to internalize had broken through, firing adrenaline throughout my body.

             
“Get in the car and I’ll take you to the motel,” he snapped back. His voice was so fucking cold. Why was he doing this? He could have been on his way right now.

             
“No.”

             
“Do I have to force you in the fucking car?”

             
“No! You can get into that car and drive away from me. I don’t want you near me--”

             
“If I tell you to get into that fucking car, you’re going to get into it!”

             
“You can’t make me!”

             
He leaned down so that his face was level to mine; the anger seeped out of him as he said, “You wanna see me try? Don’t be a fucking bitch about this, Sara. I won’t be held responsible if something happens to you all because you’re being a stubborn little bitch--”

             
I hurriedly ducked under his arm, but he quickly wrapped an arm around my waist and pushed me back. This was feeling all too familiar.

             
“Don’t touch me!” I barked out.

             
“Get in the car!”

             
“Now why the hell would I do that? You’re just going to sit there and make me feel like nothing! I get why you’re doing it! I know you think I deserve it, and for the longest time, I thought so too. But you can’t! You can hate me all you bloody want, but you have no fucking right to talk to me like I’m scum!”

             
“But only you can do that, right?”

             
I stepped to the side of him, but he moved quickly and was immediately in front of me. I felt cornered, confused, and angry – like I was back there again, five years ago, trying to get him to go away. I don’t know how I managed it, but I wriggled past him and hurried. I made it four steps before he gripped my arm again and pulled me back to him. My face hit his hard chest, and I really lost my patience this time. Every bit of me wanted to claw his eyes out, to kick him in the balls, to bite the hand that was gripping my arm. I wanted violence, and although every part of my body felt like it was a hundred missiles on standby, I mentally could not bring myself to do it. I would
not
piss away five years of change after two encounters with Jaxon. But that didn’t mean my words had to be tame, either.

             
“Fuck, Jaxon! Let go of me!” I screamed out.

             
“Or what?”

             
“I fucking hate you!” I pulled away from his grip, but it only intensified. “I hate you!”

             
He looked down at me with a wicked gleam in his eye and leaned forward until he was so close to my face, our noses touched. “Go on. Hit me.” My eyes widened at those words. “Come on, then. Fucking hit me! Do it! I know you want to! Stop pretending you don’t!”

             
“I’m not going to hit you! That’s not who I am.”