Ignite Me (A Burning Desire Novel) (5 page)

My orgasm took me by surprise, forcefully, gripping every
muscle in my weakened soul, and pushing me over the edge. I had no control over
the flow of tears, and my trembling body. I climaxed, around him, my core
tightening around him, to take him away with me.

He kissed every salty bead, bringing his mouth over mine,
and taking every moan of both pleasure, and sadness.

My chest was heaving, my breathing ragged, and provoking a
forceful hiccup.

Landon buried his head in my throat.

“Shh baby, I know.”

He wiped my tears, and my sweaty temple, pressing a light
kiss.

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

He added, and it only made it worse. I was a complete
mess, under his weight, with my hiccup and my whining.

Hearing him say the words made me feel guilty. If he spoke
them, he must’ve meant them; and if he did, then I had no reason to fear the
ones I wanted to say.

“When you’re ready baby, I won’t push you again. I
promise.”

Landon wiped another stream of weeping, and kissed their
path down, to the corner of my mouth.

“You’re beautiful, even when you cry, but it’s killing me
baby.”

I clapped my eyes tight, and concentrated on stopping the
uncontrolled heaving.

I settled down with each kiss he traced.

“I’m yours Landon, you know I am, right?”

My voice was a bare whisper, begging him to see through
it.

“Actually you don’t have a choice, but I know baby, I
know.”

He pushed a strand of hair, and drew from me.

I quailed at the loss, and sat up to straighten myself.

*****

I studied my reflection in the floor to ceiling mirror of
the club. I looked like hell, my hair a total mess; my makeup consisted of
shades of black kohl wiped all over my face. I found my makeup bag, and set
about fixing the mess. I pulled my hair in a ponytail, and washed my face. The
last thirty minutes were very intense. I hadn’t cried like that in a long time.
It was a powerful explosion of my hindered feelings. My love for Landon Davis
had no bounds. I had to fight every fiber in my being, to refrain from saying
the words back in the car.

He was a beautiful man, and an amazing lover. I’d take him
any way I could get him. I’d take him angry and fuming at my defying ways. I
admired his success, and the way he never stopped striving for greatness. I loved
him affectionate and smothering, teasing and caring, distant and needy.

I had to tell him, and maybe, just maybe, it will kill my
fears.

“Baby, are you okay in there?”

His voice came from behind the restroom door. He was
worried, after the breakdown I had, and insisted to wait for me before joining
the others. The women inside the restroom were eying me curiously. I smiled,
put on some lip-gloss, and walked outside with him.

“I’m fine baby.”

He clasped my hand, and we joined the others.

“Hey boo, where have you been?”

Jude grabbed me from Landon’s hold, earning himself a
glare.

“Let’s go dance,” he suggested, grinning at me.

“Okay, just let me have a drink.” I offered, requiring two
or six shots of tequila.

He nodded and walked with us back to the VIP square.

I loved to party with models, they were crazy, and had some
disturbing, fun and romantic escapades. They were all drunk, and fooling around
with each other.

Jenna was into Alec Avery mode. They were chatting, but
she was totally giving him the, I’m-having-you-in-my-bed-later look.

Landon offered me a flute of champagne and I gulped it down.
I wasn’t in a sipping champagne state of mind. I was in need for something
stronger.

“Calm down baby.”

He admonished playfully.

“Hey boo, you have to meet my bride!”

Ryan exclaimed in a total inebriated state.

I hadn’t met Celeste’s replacement. Ryan had her
imprisoned, and I only saw her, when she walked on the runway, in that majestic
masterpiece of a dress.

“Hey Audrey, come meet my best friend.”

She got up on her endlessly long feet, in a lacy, black
dress. She was truly stunning; her mahogany strands were still flowing, she had
almond blue eyes. Her pale porcelain skin glistened under the dim light.

“So this is the infamous Clea, the one your dress is named
after?”

She extended her hand cordially. I looked up at her and
frowned.

“Named after?”

I didn't quite understand.

Ryan just beamed at me,

“Yes, I named that dress after you. I’ll explain later.”

It was news to me. I nodded and returned Audrey’ smile.

“It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

She said looking at Landon.

I turned to look at him. His face was sober, completely
unreadable, but his jaw clenched repeatedly.

“I’m sorry.”

I turned to Audrey.

“This is my boyfriend, Landon…”

“Davis. Of course, who doesn’t know him? Lucky girl.”

I smiled weakly; I hated those kinds of comments, they
made me uncomfortable.

“It’s very nice to meet you Mr. Davis.”

Landon nodded silently, not even giving her the time of a
day.

“Hey pissy-face, when are we leaving tomorrow?”

Alec walked over sweating after a challenging dance
session with Jenna; he came to an abrupt halt when he saw Audrey.

“Umm.”

Alec eyed both of them.

“We’re leaving at ten, why?”

Landon pressed on, regardless.

Alec looked completely confused, looking at Audrey. I
thought she might have that effect on any man who had met her.

“Oh, for fuck sake.”

Evelyn sneered, coming out of nowhere.

“Listen psycho-bitch, you either get the hell out of here,
right now, or I’ll sue your ass from here to the end of times. I’m sure there
are enough drugs circulating in your blood, and in your purse to own you a
small lifetime in prison.”

Everybody was staring at Eve, she was fuming, and her eyes
were setting Audrey on fire.

That was when it struck me.

She was Landon’s Audrey.

My knees weakened, and then it all became clear. His
reaction, Alec and Evelyn’s, their moods had shifted when she’d appeared on the
runway ramp.

He didn't even tell me. He was weird throughout the
evening, at some point; it was as if we weren’t in the same space.

It was all because of her.

Landon didn’t tell me much about her. All I knew was that
she was his ex-girlfriend, and it ended just like any other relationship. Other
than the conversation, I’d had with Simon, on my birthday, during which he’d
insinuated that she was complicated, I knew nothing.

However, Evelyn just referred to her as a psycho and a
bitch; she didn’t look like either.

Audrey remained completely unfazed for someone that’d just
been threatened by one of the finest lawyers in the country. She didn’t move an
inch, looking straight into Landon’s direction, as if she was somehow waiting
for him to defend her.

I didn’t want to look his way; I was too scared of what I might
see in his eyes.

“Come on Audrey, you know you don’t want to get in her
way.”

Alec pleaded with her.

“You’re really going to let your puppy threaten me?”

Well maybe she was a bitch.

Landon didn’t answer, and I couldn’t help the relief I
felt.

“That’s right psycho, he’s going to let me bark and bite,
so get the hell out before I report you to the security guards and have you
spend a night in the dumpiest precinct in the city.”

Evelyn hated her; I had no doubt about it.

I needed to know why.

In the past weeks, I’d uncovered many things about Evelyn,
one of which was that she wasn’t in love with Landon. In fact, Evelyn had
confessed to Ryan that she was in love with Simon.

Evelyn had used her image with Landon for publicity’ sake
and it made them out as an unbreakable duo. She cared for him, deeply, he was
her best friend, and her partner, but she’d stopped being in love with him back
in high school. Nonetheless, she still acted as a bitch when it came to
Landon’s life, and explained that she hated all the ‘gold-digging tramps’ that
oozed themselves in his life. Ever since her parent’s birthday party, we became
some kind of friendly. She stated that she still didn’t trust me much, but she
liked that I was outspoken and didn’t seem to worry about the money.

“This isn’t over.”

Audrey spoke in a menacing tone, turned back to pick up her
clutch, and disappeared in the middle of the crowd. I couldn’t look at Landon,
but when I looked around me, it seemed like our entire group was motionless, in
spite of a vibrant dance floor, and loud music.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.”

Ryan squeaked, leaning between the car seats, and
conjuring up the volume on
‘One
Republic’s’ ‘Good Life’
.

“I miss college life. I feel so freaking old.”

He commented dancing around in the back of the SUV.

“That’s because you are.”

Jude teased, and we all laughed at his whining partner.

We were rallying outside the city, heading to Alec’s cabin
at Lake George. We were following each other, and I was hoping that Alec’s
house was as big as he claimed it to be.

I was riding with Landon, Jude, and Ryan. Jenna was with
Alec, Eve, and Simon. Mia, Brooke, and Faith, riding with Zee, followed them.

Yesterday had been a crazy and challenging night. However,
I woke up fresh and somewhat reassured.

After Audrey had left the club, the party was ruined. Ryan
was devastated. He was his usual, consternating, and unselfish friend. I had
insisted we stay and carry on with the party, but, at some point, we were
shaken and confused. Landon and I drove to his apartment; we rode in silence.
My head was spinning with questions about Audrey, and I was determined to get
my answers. He knew everything about me; after he’d imposed his No-Secrecy
rule, he’d asked me a million questions, and I answered them openly. After all,
he’d uncovered my most shameful secret, and stuck around.

He’d asked me to be patient, and I was. However, Last
night’s events had me unsettled and pushed the last of my patience to non-existence.

“I’m sorry.”

He’d finally said, after a long, heart stopping silence
inside his vast bedroom.

“I’m sorry Landon, but that doesn’t cut it for me. I need
answers and I need them now.”

He shook his head agitatedly, a gleam of fear traveled all
over his features.

It made the hairs at the back of my neck prickle. I’d
never seen Landon as unstable as he’d been, at that moment.

I hugged my courage, and spoke firmly.

“Are you in love with her?”

I prayed for his voice to disappear into thin air, so that
I wouldn’t hear him say yes.

He reared back as if I’d slapped him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Answer me Landon!”

I really didn’t want him to.

“No,” he stated firmly.

“Were you in love with her?”

I didn’t want to know the answer to that question either.

“Baby, let’s not do this. Just give me some time, will
you?”

Landon was pleading.

“No Landon, I want answers, so fucking, answer me!”

“Watch your mouth Clea.” he bit out, his body was tense,
his biceps clenched and flexed.

“Don’t you dare watch-your-mouth-Clea-me, Davis!”

I pulled my hands in fists, resolved to either get some
answers, or get the hell out of the apartment.

It all became much clearer to me. His secrecy and his shell
were the reason I couldn’t tell him that I loved him.

“Did you love her?”

I insisted.

“I thought I did.”

He shrugged helplessly.

“What’s that supposed to mean, it’s either you did or you
didn’t.”

His hands fisted to his sides. “I fucking don’t know,
can’t you leave it alone?”

“I’m not dropping this Landon, so we’re going to play a
game called if you don’t answer me in the next five minutes, I’ll deprive you
from sex.”

I’d changed strategy, determined and willing to do
anything.

He studied me with a silent, but apparent snort.

“Yes Landon, we’re playing your game. In five minutes,
it’s no sex, in one hour, it’s no sleeping in the same bed, and if I wake up
tomorrow, and you’re still not ready to answer, then…”

I swallowed hard and clarified.

“Then it’s over.”

His eyes widened in horror.

“Yes Landon, that’s right, so it’s your choice, and I’ve
got all night.”

“You, you would leave me?”

His voice was soaked, and it made my heart crush into a
million pieces.

I nodded and went into the bathroom. Sinking down to the
floor, I felt as if my whole world was about to come apart and I had no power
to control it. I couldn’t be with a man who would lie to me even when
confronted with the truth. I loved him, more than words could ever express, but
I needed him to show me that he was as committed to our relationship as I was.

I sat there for a long time before I decided on a hot
shower. When I got out of the bathroom, Landon was nowhere within the
apartment. I couldn’t help the tears, and melted into the bed in the guest room,
determined to give him a chance to explain in the morning.

The dawn had barely broken, when I’d felt his arms around
me. I relished it for a minute, pretending to be asleep, all the while,
gathering my density to pull from his embrace.

“Please don’t leave baby, and don’t let me spend another
night without you.”

His tone was a slow and harrowing stab in my chest.

Wriggling around, I searched for his face and cupped it,
“Then answer me, please baby." I begged, "Just tell me whatever you
want to say.”