I'll Be Home for Christmas (9 page)

“That's nice, mister,” shouted a young girl in a tight ski suit and hair that looked like raffia. “You should always love your mother and grandmother. You're doing this all wrong. You need to appeal to her basic instincts.”

“Shut up, Carla,” a pimple-faced youth snarled. “You need to mind your own business. Yo, mister, you need to stand tall here and not beg some dumb girl for…whatever it is you want out of this scene.”

“Listen, Donnie, don't be telling me girl stuff. You're so ignorant you're pathetic. Listen to me, mister, tell her she has eyes like stars and she's in your blood and you can't eat or sleep or anything. Tell her all you want in life is to marry her and have lots of little girl kids that look just like her. Promise her anything, but you better mean it because us women can spot a lie in a heartbeat.”

Peter turned around. “She thinks I cheated her or tried, and then I did something really stupid, but I didn't know it was stupid at the time. Well, I sort of knew, but I didn't think anyone would ever find out. How do I handle that one?” he asked the girl with the three pounds of makeup and raffia hair.

“Tell her what you just said to me. Admit it. It's when you lie and try to cover up that you get in trouble.”

“Don't listen to Carla, man; that chick in there is gonna think you're the king of all jerks.”

“You're a jerk, Donnie. Listen to me, mister, what do you have to lose?”

Peter cleared his throat. “Andi, I'm sorry for everything. I was stupid. I swear to God, I'll never do another stupid thing again. I tried to explain about the business end of things. I want to marry you. I'll do anything you want if you'll just come out here and listen to me or let me come in and talk to you. Sadie says we're meant for each other. She's hardly ever wrong. What's ten minutes out of your life, Andi? I admit I'm dumb when it comes to women. I don't read
Cosmo,
and I don't know diddly squat about triple orgasms and such stuff but I'm willing to learn. I'll use breath mints, I'll quit smoking, I'll take the grease out of the lipstick. Are you listening to me, Andi? I goddamn well love you! I thought I was falling in love with you, but now I know I love you for real.”

“Mister, you are a disgrace to the male race,” Donnie said.

“Oh, mister, that was beautiful. You wait, she's coming out. Give her five minutes. No woman could resist that little speech. You did real good, mister. My sister told me about triple orgasms. I can explain…”

“Oh, jeez, look, she's coming out. That's who you're in love with?” There was such amazement in the boy's face, Peter grinned.

“Oh, she's real pretty, mister. I know she loves you. You gonna give her something special for Christmas?”

“Yeah, himself,” Donnie snorted.

“You know what, kid, they don't come any better than me. You need to get a whole new attitude. Carla, we're looking for teenage models at King Cosmetics. Here's my card; go to personnel and arrange a meeting with me for after the first of the year. Dump that jerk and get yourself a real boyfriend. Here's the keys to my car. My address is in the glove compartment. Drop it off for me, okay? That way she'll have to take me home or else allow me to stay. Thanks for your help. Can you drive?”

“Now you got it, mister. I can drive. Remember now, be humble, and only the truth counts from here on in.”

“Got it,” he said as he moved toward the house.

Inside the kennel, Andi said, “You got the dogs in a tizzy. I'm in a tizzy. You're out of your mind. I never heard of a grandmother/grandson act before.”

“It wasn't an act. Everything I said was true. I do want to marry you.”

“I hardly know you. Are you asking me so the three million plus stays in the family?”

“God, no. I feel like I've known you all my life. I've been searching for someone like you forever. My grandmother knew you were the one the moment she met you. She adores you, and she feels terrible about all of this. Can we start over?”

“Well…I…we're from two different worlds. I don't think it would work. I'm not giving up my life and my profession. I worked too hard to get where I am.”

“I'm not asking you to give up anything. I don't much care for the life I move around in now, but it's my job. I can make it nine-to-five and be home every night for dinner. If you're busy, I can even cook the dinner or we can hire a housekeeper.”

“I'm moving to Freehold Christmas Eve.”

“Freehold's good. I like Freehold. It's not such a long commute. Sunday's good for me. I'm a whizbang at putting up Christmas trees. Well?”

“Were you telling me the truth when you said you couldn't eat or sleep?”

“Just look at the bags under my eyes. How about you?”

“I cried a lot. I would have cried more, but the animals got upset so I had to stop.”

“So right now, this minute, we're two people who are starting over. All that…mess, it never happened. Your money will always be your money. That was a business deal. What we have is personal. So, will you marry me? If you don't have pearls, Sadie will give you hers. This way they'll stay in the family. That kid who took my car knows more than I do. I'll tell you about her later. Was that a yes or a no?”

“It's a maybe. We haven't even gone to bed yet. We might not be compatible.”

“Why don't we find out.”

“Now?
It's morning. I have things to do. How about later?”

“Where we're concerned, later means trouble. Now!”

“Okay. Now sounds good. I put clean sheets on the bed on Sunday. You were a no-show. That didn't do anything for my ego,” Andi said.

“I dreamed about it,” Peter said.

“You said you didn't sleep.”

“Daydreamed. There's a difference. In living color.”

“How'd I look?”

“Wonderful!” Peter said. “Want me to carry you upstairs?”

“No. I'm the independent type. I can be bossy.”

“I love bossy women. Sadie is bossy. People only boss other people around when they love them. Sadie told me that.”

“You are dumb.” Andi laughed.

“That, too. I sleep with my socks on,” Peter confided.

“Me, too! I use an electric blanket.”

“You won't need it this morning.” Peter laughed.

“Pretty confident, aren't you?”

“When you got it you got it.”

“Show me,” Andi said.

“Your zipper or mine?”

“On the count of three,” Andi said.

Zipppppppp.

He showed her. And was still showing her when the sun set and the animals howled for their dinner. And afterward, when the kennel grew quiet for the long evening ahead, he was still showing her. Toward midnight, Andi showed him, again and again. He was heard to mutter, in a hoarse whisper, “I liked that. Oh, do that again.”

She did.



“I hate to leave. Oh, God, I have to borrow your truck, do you mind?”

“Of course I mind. You sport around in a fifty-thousand-dollar truck and a ninety-thousand-dollar car and you want to borrow my clunker!”

“I'll have someone drive it back, okay? Is this going to be our first fight?”

“Not if I can help it. I do need the truck, though. I have some errands to do, and I'm not driving that bus.”

“Are you going to call Sadie?”

“Not today. She needs to sweat a little. Are you going to tell her?”

“Not on your life. Well, did that maybe turn into a yes or a no? What kind of ring do you want?”

“I don't want an engagement ring. I just want a wide, thick, gold wedding band.”

“Then it's yes?”

Andi nodded.

“When?”

“January. After I get settled in.”

“January's good. January's real good. Jesus, I love you. You smile like my mother used to smile. That's the highest compliment I can pay you, Andi. She was real, like you. I don't know too many real people. When you stop to think about it, that's pretty sad.”

“Then let's not think about it,” Andi said as she dangled the truck keys under his nose.

“I can't see you till tomorrow. I'll call you tonight, okay? Some clients are in town, and the meetings and dinner are not something I can cancel. You're coming to the party?”

“Yes.”

“What about the pearls?” Peter asked fretfully “You have to explain that to me one of these days.”

“I have my mother's pearls.”

“God, that's a relief.”

He kissed her then until she thought her head would spin right off her.

“Bye.”

Andi smiled, her eyes starry. “Bye, Peter.”



Thursday morning, the day of Peter King's Christmas party, Andi climbed out of bed with a vicious head cold. Her eyes were red, her nose just as red. She'd spent the night propped up against the pillows so her nasal passages would stay open. If she'd slept twenty minutes it was a lot. The time was ten minutes to eight. In her ratty robe and fleece-lined slippers she shuffled downstairs to make herself some hot coffee. She ached from head to toe. Just the thought of cleaning the dog runs made her cringe. She shivered and turned up the heat to ninety. She huddled inside the robe, trying to quiet her shaking body as she waited for the coffee to perk.

Cup in hand at fifteen minutes past eight, she heard the first rumblings of heavy duty machinery in her parking lot. The knock on the door was louder than thunder. She opened the door, her teeth chattering. “What are you doing here? What's all that machinery? Get it out of here. This is private property. Is that a wrecking ball?”

He was big and burly with hands the size of ham hocks, the perfect complement to the heavy duty monster machinery behind him. “What do you mean what am I doing here? I'm here to raze this building. I have a contract that says so. And, yeah, that's a wrecking ball. You gotta get out of here, lady.”

“Come in here. I can't stand outside; I'm sick as you can see, and I'm not going anywhere. I, too, have a contract, and my contract says you can't do this. Mine, I'm sure, supersedes yours. So there. I have thirty-six animals here and no place to take them until Sunday. You'll just have to wait.”

“That's tough, lady. I ain't comin' back here on Sunday; that's Christmas Eve. I have another job scheduled for Tuesday. Today is the day for this building.”

“I'm calling the police; we'll let them settle it. You just go back outside and sit on that ball because that's all you're going to do with it. Don't you dare touch a thing. Do you hear me?” Andi croaked. She slammed the door in the man's face. She called the police and was told a patrol car would be sent immediately.

Andi raced upstairs, every bone in her body protesting as she dressed in three layers of clothing. She had to stop three times to blow her runny nose. Hacking and coughing, she ran downstairs to rummage on her desk for her contract to show the police. While she waited she placed a call to both Peter and Sadie and was told both of them were unavailable. Five minutes later, her electricity and phone were dead.

Two hours later, the electricity was back on. Temporarily. “I don't know what to tell you, ma'am. This man is right and so are you. You both have signed contracts. He has every right to be here doing what he's doing. You on the other hand have a contract that says he can't do it. Nobody is going to do anything until we can reach Mr. Peter King, since he's the man who signed both these contracts.”

“Listen up, both of you, and watch my lips. I am not going anywhere. I'm sick. I have thirty-six animals in that kennel, and we have nowhere to go. Based on my contract, I made arrangements to be out of here on Sunday, not Saturday, not Friday and certainly not today. Now, which part of that don't you two men understand?”

“The part where you aren't leaving till Sunday. This is a three-day job. I can't afford to lose the money since I work for myself. It's not my fault you're sick, and it's not my fault that you have thirty-six animals. I got five kids and a wife to support and men on my payroll sitting outside in your parking lot. Right now I'm paying them to sit there drinking coffee.”

“That's just too damn bad, mister. I'm calling the
Plainfield Courier
and the
Star Ledger.
Papers like stories like this especially at Christmastime. You better get my phone hooked up again and don't think I'm paying for that.”

The afternoon wore on. Andi kept swilling tea as she watched through the window. The police were as good as their word, allowing nothing to transpire until word came in from Peter King. Her face grew more flushed, and she knew her fever was creeping upward.

Using the police cell phone, Andi called again and again, leaving a total of seven messages on Sadie's machine and nine messages in total for Peter at King Cosmetics. The receptionist logged all nine messages, Mr. King's words ringing in her ears: “Do not call me under
any
circumstance. Whatever it is can wait until tomorrow. Even if this building blows up I don't want to know about it until tomorrow.”

At five o'clock, Andi suggested the police try and reach Mr. King at his home. When she was unable to tell them where he lived, the owner of the wrecking equipment smirked. It wasn't until six o'clock that she remembered she had Peter's address on the invitation. However, if she kept quiet she could delay things another day. Besides, his party was due to get under way any minute now. He would probably try and call her when he realized she wasn't in attendance.

The police officer spoke. “You might as well go home, Mr. Dolan. We'll try and reach Mr. King throughout the evening and get this thing settled by morning.”

Cursing and kicking at his machinery, Dolan backed his equipment out of the parking lot. The officer waited a full twenty minutes before he left. Andi watched his taillights fade into the distance from the kitchen window. The yellow bus was like a huge golden eye under her sensor light. Large, yellow bus. Uh-huh. Okay, Mr. Peter King, you have this coming to you!