I'm Not Dead... Yet!

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Also by Robby Benson

Who Stole The Funny?

Published by HarperCollins

“An irreverent and hilarious stroll down the dark alleys of  Hollywood’s TV landscape.”
—Peter Bart, editor in chief,
Variety

The Los Angeles Times Best-Seller List (2007)

Open Heart

Published by Samuel French

“A sharp, uncompromising look at the value of true love.. The surprise ending will leave you stunned, sad, happy and satisfied all at the same time.”
—
Broadway.com

Oops...

That’s better.

I’m Not Dead...Yet!

or:
“The Corpse Moved”

A medical memoir by

4-Time Open-Heart Survivor

Robby Benson

V a l o r E d i t i o n s . c o m

Copyright © 2012 by Robby Benson

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing

from the author.

The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

Published in the United States of America

Edition for Amazon Kindle: June 2012

ISBN 978-0-9831416-2-4

2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1

Cover design by
Concetta Halstead-Lord

LordCreative.com

Portrait by
Sigrid Estrada

SigridEstrada.com

Original Photographs

Robby Benson

Editing & Technical design

Karla DeVito & Dan Berlinghoff

Visit
RobbyBenson.com
for the latest news & information

Standard Version

I wrote this book with film clips, photographs, slideshows and songs embedded
within
the ebook as an integral part of my story—media that would
enhance
your reading experience.

But not all eReaders are ‘created equal!’—even those that
can
play music and movies
separately, but unfortunately not within the ebook
—so we have created a ‘Standard’ version of the book for those devices. (When you are ready to upgrade, make sure your tablet can play
embedded
audio and video. I think you’ll love having the book the way it was initially conceived an ‘experience’ for the reader.)

Fortunately, most eReaders
can
connect to the internet, so if you want to learn more about the medical conditions being discussed in the book, just follow the links indicated by the large
H
for
Hospital
.

I’m sure the good folks at these technology companies are working hard to add enhancements to their eReaders, but until they do, when you see what should be a placement for a film clip, slideshow or song, we will give you a link where you can find the material—and you can make the choice whether you want it or not.

So, now, let the book speak for itself. (Sorry… it can’t ‘speak’ here, either… Soon, I hope!)

Thank you, r.

For Karla Jayne

“It’s just a simple song—

about eternity, infinity,

and what you mean to me...”

I was lying in a hospital bed
looking up at the patterns in the ceiling, wondering how many people before me had morphed the ceiling tiles into faces and images. And because I’m practically blind without my contact lenses, I was seeing wonderfully imagined images: and, for a moment, I was sure I saw the face of a man whom I recognized. In my myopic stare, the ceiling tile became that man, a colleague who had asked me to help him get through his open-heart surgery just weeks prior, but the catch? Only if I could do so with discretion—secrecy actually—he wanted no one else to know of his diagnosis.

So typical, I thought. Been there. Done that.

Since 1984, when I had my first open-heart surgery, people in need have managed to locate me in order to ask all kinds of questions regarding open-heart surgery. They know we are all linked together as kindred spirits—people who will have their chests sawed open and then a stranger’s hands will reach inside our torsos, touching and manipulating our hearts. No matter age, color of skin, or gender, we are all connected by this brutal association. It’s almost like in a science fiction B-movie when the actors pass one another on the street and can tell with a slight nod that they have been captive by the same spaceship aliens.

I tried to remember, to recount all the people I have spoken to, tried to help throughout my four open-heart surgery ‘career,’ and how having someone to talk to can be so reassuring to both the patient and their loved ones. How many people had I spoken to about overcoming the daunting hurdle of open-heart surgery? Hundreds, thousands? I guessed—
but not nearly enough
.

As I stared at the ceiling tile, I realized I couldn’t go another moment without sharing my experiences with other vulnerable souls. Even though I was an actor and in the public eye, my journey is similar to theirs—and maybe yours—because in the long run, the hospital gurney is: ‘one size fits all.’

There is great urgency to life when you’ve faced death four different times. I made up my mind to write a book that would detail the ups, downs, the sideways, the falls, spills, yaws, the hurdles and the walls that we all smash into. I had to get my faux-pas and two paws to my computer as fast as possible. Maybe from my history recorded on paper or on a digital tablet, a father, husband, wife, mother, daughter, friend, or loved one who will be facing this ordeal will find something that helps or comforts them in my book. Or just makes them laugh.

This brings me to the first colossal, whale-like query that is ever-present in the theme of this book and in the theme of most patients’ lives: Karla, my wife and soulmate, and I have been on a quest for most of my adult life, trying to find a hospital where we can enter and leave with hope. Does such a place exist? Once I had the nerve to face my demons, we went hunting for it.

And this is quite the journey.