Imaginary Grace (6 page)

I didn’t know how to answer that. I mean, we had come together, but we weren’t actually together-together.

I was about to answer him that no, we weren’t together when suddenly a pair of all too familiar arms appeared around my neck, pulling me slowly backwards against a rock-hard chest. “Hey Gary . . . you messin’ with my girl?” Tanner said it lightheartedly, but there was just a hint of a warning underneath.

There it was again
-- my girl.
He had said it last week at the gym, and now tonight. Both times Gary had been around. What did it all mean?

Gary didn’t answer; he just stared.

Tanner turned to me. “I was worried when you guys didn’t come back; I thought you got lost or something.”

“Oh…no, we just stopped to say hi to Gary.”

“Oh,” he said, his eyes flickered back to Gary. “Well, are you ready to go?” He slipped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side.

“Yeah, sure, just let me tell Beth.”

Beth was still preoccupied with Gary’s friend and had missed the whole exchange. I reluctantly slipped away from Tanner to tell her we were going, leaving Gary and Tanner silently staring at one another.

“Beth,” I whispered to her, “Tanner’s here and we’re going to head back to Scott’s truck--are you coming?”

She leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Do you mind if I hang out here for a while with Adam? We can meet up later. Will you be all right?”

Oh no!
My stomach tightened, but I decided to be brave for once. I couldn’t expect Beth to chaperone me all the time…could I?

“Yeah, I’ll be okay; text me in an hour or so and let me know what’s up.”

“Okay,” she said, “see you later.”

I walked back over to Tanner. “Beth is going to stay for a while. She’ll catch up with us later.”

“Cool, let’s go. See you around, Gary,” Tanner said as he swung his arm around my shoulder again, eyeing Gary as he did so. As we walked back to the truck, much to my disappointment, Tanner’s arm dropped back to his side.

“Where’s your friend?” one of Tanner’s friends asked when we got back to the truck.

“She’ll meet back up with us later.”

It felt really weird without Beth there, but I thought I was holding my own. I had had a few drinks and was loosening up a bit.

I was leaning against the side of the truck next to Tanner, listening to the banter, when an unfamiliar girl walked by and locked eyes with him. She seemed surprised to see him, but judging from the look on his face, not as surprised as Tanner.

“Tanner,” she said, “I didn’t know you would be here tonight.” She looked at me and said, “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

“Yeah, sure, uh, Amber this is Grace; Grace, Amber.”

She stared a minute, then said hi; I did the same, feeling extremely awkward. As she turned back to Tanner, I gave her the once-over; she was extremely attractive, with a figure to die for. Her long, light brown hair was streaked with golden blonde highlights and was without a hint of frizz. She was about my height, but she had on heels which made her seem much taller. She had on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a fitted pink cropped t-shirt; a jacket was thrown casually over one shoulder. She tossed her hair from side to side as she spoke, revealing a pair of large gold hoop earrings. Her skin was tanned to perfection and her fingernails were expertly manicured in blood red. She was my worst nightmare.

She leaned into him and said something. He glanced back at me with a nervous half-smile before she finally walked off. He reached into the back of the truck and grabbed himself another beer, opening it and downing about half of it before speaking. “I think we got trouble,” he said
.

Uh, oh.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He looked around before he spoke. “Well, see, Amber and Scott were kind of together for a while, but Scott broke up with her, and she started dating this other dude. Last weekend Scott ran into her and he ended up going home with her. Well, somehow the guy she was seeing found out about it and according to Amber, he now wants to kick Scott’s ass.”

“Wow,” I exhaled, managing to mask my relief with curiosity. “Is the other guy here tonight? You’d better warn Scott!”

“It’s his own fault,” Tanner said, shrugging. “He’s always getting himself into these kinds of situations. I told Scott that Amber was trouble from the get-go, but he didn’t want to hear it. Girls like that are nothing but trouble – that’s why I stay away from them.” While he was speaking he had turned and was now standing in front of me with his palms on the door of the truck on either side of me. He moved in closer as he whispered, “Scott’s a big boy. He can take care of himself.”

I stared into those huge blue eyes and thought I would melt into a puddle right there in the parking lot. He stared at me, our eyes mere inches apart. My heart was racing a mile a minute. He seemed about to kiss me when all of a sudden my phone chirped with a text.

Saved – but did I really want to be saved?
I had decided that I would ignore it when he stepped back from me and said, “You’d better get that. It might be Beth looking for you.” I reached into my back pocket for my phone. Sure enough, it was from Beth, saying that she was on her way over.

I hadn’t realized it was so late; we’d never even made it into the stadium to see any of the game, which at this point was just about over. A minute later Beth stumbled toward us, a bit uneasy on her feet, and announced that she was ready to go.

Tanner offered to walk us home. He said it would take forever for Scott to get the truck out of the lot anyway, so he would just walk with us and then come back to meet him.

It was a beautiful night. We probably wouldn’t get many more nights like this – you could tell that fall was ready to settle in. When we reached our building, Tanner said good night and that he’d be in touch during the week… maybe meet up at the gym again?

“Sounds great,” I said, and with that he turned and started to head back to the stadium parking lot. We climbed up the stairs to our dorm room, I unlocked the door, and we both collapsed onto our beds. I figured she’d pass out right away, but a few minutes later she popped up and asked about my night. I told her everything that happened, including Amber and the almost kiss.

“Beth,” I said, “you should have seen this girl. She looked like she belonged on the cover of a magazine.”

“Oh, Grace,” Beth, ever the loyal friend, said, “I’m sure you’re exaggerating.”

I was quiet for a few minutes, then I said, “Beth, I’m ready…I think it’s time I shed some layers.” Beth’s eyes lit up. “Grace, this is great,” she said, as she jumped up and threw open the closet. “I’ve got plenty of stuff you could borrow, and we can go shopping downtown for some new stuff and . . .”

“Hold on,” I interrupted, “not so fast.”

“Okay, Grace, we’ll take it one step at a time.”

“One
baby
step at a time,” I said with a smile.

Chapter 8

Tanner

O
n the way back to the parking lot, I thought about how close I’d come to blowing it. What the fuck was Amber doing there anyway? She was never on campus. Grace seemed to buy what I was selling, though, so I probably had nothing to worry about.

I needed to move things along quicker. The faster I got her home to meet my parents, the faster this stupid charade would be over.

I finally got back to the truck, and an impatient Scott. “What the fuck took you so long?!”

“Christ, Scott, they live all the way on the other side of campus and they walk like damn turtles,” I snapped back.

Scott began to laugh as he started up the truck. “I was watching you two. She’s got it
bad
for you.”

“I know,” I said. “You should have seen her when I had her up against the truck. I moved in real close like I was going to kiss her, and I swear I thought she was going to pass out. Thank God her phone went off.”

We both laughed, then Scott asked, “What was Amber doing here?”

“I don’t know. She told me she was meeting someone, but said she’d meet up with us later at J.D.’s.”

“Again?” he asked. “She’s becoming a regular with you.”

“Yeah, she wishes, but she said she’d bring a friend with her and that the three of us could ‘hang out’ later back at her place. Can’t pass that up.”

“Yeah, I hear you.”

Sighing, I leaned my head back against the headrest. As painful as this whole “courtship” thing with Grace was, I had to suck it up; I had to keep telling myself to stay focused on the end result.

We pulled into the parking lot of J.D.’s, and I immediately started looking around for Cole’s car. He’d asked me to fill in for Bobby tomorrow night and I wanted to run something by him. Although I’d been playing guitar for years and was pretty decent, I’d never sang on stage before. There was this one song I’d been working on, and was hoping Cole would let me sing it, just once, and see what kind of response it got. If he wasn’t here tonight I’d be pissed.

Turned out, I had nothing to worry about. The place was packed, but I spotted Cole right away, at the end of the bar. I got myself a beer and walked over. He looked up as I approached him. “Hey, Tanner,” he said, “I was hoping to see you tonight - I wanted to go over the lineup for tomorrow night. You got a minute?”

“Yeah, sure,” I answered, swallowing. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something too.”

“Great,” he said as he got up, “follow me.” I walked with him through the crowded bar and down a long hallway. The girl’s bathroom was to my left with a line a mile long and at the end of the hall on the right was the office. I followed him in, and he motioned for me to take a seat at the table in the back. I sat down and waited as he shuffled through some papers, obviously looking for something.

“Got it,” he said and then walked over and took the seat across from me. “I wanted to go over the song lineup with you. You’ve played all of these with us before so I know you know them, but we changed the order up a bit. I thought this time we’d start with some older Zeppelin and work our way up to the more current stuff.” He looked down at the paper again. “Like always, we’ll end with something from Journey as our encore, so look it over and let me know if you have any questions or problems.”

“I’m sure I won’t have any problem with it,” I said, “…but there’s something I wanted to run by you.”

“Sure,” he said as he looked up, “shoot.”

“Okay, I know I’m new to the group – heck, I’m not even officially
in
the group – but I was thinking . . . I know you just need me to play guitar and I’m cool with that, but I’ve been working on this 80s tune for a while, and I’d really love the chance to try singing it on stage, with the band. It would fit in perfect with the lineup.” I paused. “So…what do you think?”

I waited a tense moment for him to answer. He smiled and slowly shook his head back and forth. “Tanner, man…I don’t know.”

“Listen,” I interrupted. “Do me a favor, just listen to my demo. It’s only one song, and I won’t ask again.”

Another tense moment passed before he said, “Okay, I’ll listen to it, but I’m not promising anything.”

Relief washed over me as I slid the demo across the table to him. “Great, Cole, thanks, man. That’s all I’m asking. Just listen to it, and if you’re not down with it, that’s cool, don’t worry about it.”

I got up to leave when Cole added, “Hey, what song is it anyway?”

“‘Magic Power’ by Triumph,” I answered.

“Wow, haven’t heard that one in a while,” he said as he turned away. I walked out and back down the hall, somewhat satisfied with the outcome. When I got to the bar I looked around for Scott, who was at the end with a few guys ready to down some shots. I grabbed one and tossed it back – now I was ready to party.

Before long I was feeling no pain. At some point during the night I was pulled onto the dance floor by a drunken Amber and her equally drunken friend Kristen. The two of them had their mitts all over me – not that I was complaining. I danced with them for a while – actually, I wasn’t exactly sure what we were doing could be called dancing-- when one of them (I’m not sure which one) suggested we get out of there.

It sounded good to me, so the three of us went looking for Scott. When I found him, I told him I was leaving but whispered to him to pick me up at Amber’s on his way home. The three of us stumbled out to the parking lot, but before getting into Amber’s car I stopped at Scott’s truck and grabbed a couple of condoms – I couldn’t be too careful with these two.

I didn’t remember the drive over to her apartment; I didn’t even remember walking into her apartment. All I remembered was the two of them yapping and giggling all the way there with these annoying, high-pitched voices.

The next thing I knew, the two of them dragged me into the bedroom and were on either side of me, their hands roaming everywhere. They had my shirt off and on the floor in seconds. Then they pushed me onto my back. I watched through a drunken haze as they both proceeded to undress.

I idly wondered why Amber would lower herself to do this. I’d bedded her on more than one occasion and had never called her afterwards. When she was at my apartment I (nicely) kicked her out, and when we were at her place, I got up and left as soon as we were done. So why would she keep coming back for more? I couldn’t possibly be
that
good.

In that instant, they peeled off my jeans. I flipped Amber onto her back and thought,
Well, on the other hand, maybe I can be.

Sometime later, I awakened, disoriented and dying of thirst, to the sound of a car horn.
Scott
. I glanced over at the two girls, still passed out on the bed, then quickly pulled on my clothes before heading out the door.

“What time is it?” I asked Scott as I climbed into the truck. Shit, my head was pounding.

“Three-thirty,” he answered.

“Shit, I have to get up for work in like three hours.”

He laughed and pulled away from the house, then filled me in on what had happened at J.D.’s after I left. I filled him in too, leaving no doubt as to who had the better story. We no sooner got home when I collapsed into bed, only to be woken up by the alarm. I felt like I’d slept for about five minutes.

I snoozed the alarm and lay there for a few minutes, sifting through the vague memories of the night before, a self-satisfied smirk on my face. When the alarm went off again I jumped into the shower and was out the door by 7:00. I put in a full day at the gas station, only to come home, eat something and pass out again until about eight o’clock.

Tonight was the big night. I was playing with Hudson-Nash and maybe, just maybe, I would be singing. I showered, got dressed and grabbed my guitar, then Scott and I were out the door. On the way to the bar, I briefly looked over the song list: Stones, Van Halen, Zeppelin, Journey, Boston . . . all good stuff, although I would have played church music if it meant I got to play in front of a crowd.

Cole saw us walk in and signaled for me to come over.
This was it
. I walked over and he looked at me before he spoke. “Okay,” he said, “I listened to your demo, and it’s actually pretty good, but I’m still not sold on the whole idea. How about we wait it out and see what the crowd is like. If it’s a real wild, drunken crowd, I’ll put you on towards the end and see what happens, okay?”

I realized I’d been holding my breath and slowly exhaled. “Yeah, sure, that’s fair. Thanks a lot, Cole, I really appreciate it.”

“Okay then, go get your equipment set up. We go on at ten o’clock.”

I took my guitar over by the stage and started getting everything hooked up. That wasn’t exactly the response I was hoping to get from Cole, but at least he hadn’t totally rejected the idea. I kept my fingers crossed that there’d be a rowdy, drunken crowd tonight.

I looked out from the back room and thought the stage couldn’t have looked any more like heaven. The bar was starting to fill up. I recognized a lot of the regulars, but the band usually drew a bigger crowd than a regular Saturday night. The staff had pushed most of the tables to the back and the far sides of the room to make more space for dancing, and it made the room seem enormous.

It was almost ten-thirty and the anticipation was killing me. Just then Cole put his hand on my shoulder and said, “We’re up in five, you ready?”

“Yeah,” I said.
As ready as I’ll ever be
. I went into the small bathroom in the back office and stared into the mirror, my hands gripping the edge of the sink.
It doesn’t get any better than this.
I reached down, turned on the cold water, splashed some on my face, and then grabbed a towel to dry off.
Post time
.

I walked out into the office, then out over to the backstage area and waited. A few minutes later the DJ introduced us, and we all hopped onto the stage and immediately dove into some Led Zeppelin. The crowd went nuts, and for the next two hours we kept the dancefloor packed as we brought the music through the 70s and into the late 80s – great stuff.

We took a ten-minute break to cool off, and that’s when Cole approached me.
Here goes
.

“Tanner…you’re doing great. We got a wild crowd out there. Let’s go for it.”

I stood there, shocked. He was really going to let me do it. A huge grin spread across my face as I high-fived him. “Thanks, man,” I said before heading backstage where the rest of the guys were having some beers. I poured myself a shot of Tequila, downed it, then poured another and threw it back just as we returned to the stage.

We went right into some Van Halen, and before I knew it Cole was signaling me. I was up. I adjusted my mic as the drum solo came to an end, then I started in on the opening chords of ‘Magic Power’.

“Something’s at the edge of your mind

You don’t know what it is

Something you were hoping to find

You’re not sure what it is

Then you hear the music and it all comes crystal clear

The music does the talking, says the things you wanna hear

I’m young, I’m wild, I’m free

Got the magic power of the music in me . . .”

The drunken crowd seemed to be enjoying it, with everybody dancing (well jumping around, actually), and when I finished they were still applauding. The next song started with a drum intro, so I had time to step back and change my sweat drenched t-shirt. I unstrapped my guitar and leaned it against the amp, then grabbed the extra t-shirt I’d brought with me from the side of the stage. Without thinking, I turned back around and quickly tore the shirt over my head, when all of a sudden the crowd erupted into what I could only describe as a small frenzy. It took a minute to realize they were cheering for me.

I quickly put my clean tee on and looked over at Cole apologetically. He shrugged as I strapped on my guitar. Girls were screaming for me to take it back off. I looked over at Cole, who mouthed, “Go for it,” so I slowly unstrapped my guitar and stripped my shirt off to a chorus of thunderous female applause. I tucked the edge of the shirt into the side of my jeans leaving it hanging and within seconds my guitar was back on, just in time for the start of the next song.

I played a few more songs like that before we started our encore, and again the crowd went nuts. The stages lights dimmed as we finished and headed backstage, where I was alternately congratulated and ribbed for my impromptu striptease.

“Great job, guys; drinks are on the house! Tanner…can I talk to you a minute?”

Uh oh
. “Yeah, sure, Cole,” I said as I pulled my t-shirt over my head and followed him to the other side of the room, “What’s up?”

“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you did great. If you’re up for it, maybe we can make it a regular part of the lineup when you fill in.”

“Oh, man, that’s great! And sorry about the whole shirt-changing thing. I didn’t mean for that to happen; I just wasn’t thinking.”

“No problem – the crowd loved it,” he said. “Oh, and by the way, have you decided what you’re going to do about touring with us next summer? I’m going to need a commitment from you soon. If you can’t do it, let me know so I can start looking for someone else.”

I hesitated, then before I could stop myself I said, “Yeah, I’m definitely in!”

“Great news, I’ll tell the guys. Glad to have you on board,” he said as he turned to head back out to the bar. I had just committed to the tour when I didn’t know if I would have the money.

Maybe I’d made a stupid move, but I couldn’t think about that right now. Tonight I wanted to celebrate, so I headed back over to the rest of the band, who were downing shots of tequila, and joined in. Several shots later we headed out into the bar where I grabbed a beer and started looking around for Scott.

I found him at the other end of the bar with the same group he’d hung with the night before. “Hey, man, great show!” Scott said as he slapped me on the back. The others gathered around to congratulate me too.