Immediate Fiction (6 page)

For now, the question is: what's the difference between this last version and the first. It's not details. It's not dialogue. It's not emotion. It's something else, something I mentioned earlier, but sidestepped so you could experience it first. The first version—happy, happy, happy—left us cold. The last—trouble, trouble, trouble—got to us. What does that tell us?

FICTION IS A DIRTY GAME
(No conflict = No story)

The difference between the first, dead version and this version is
conflict. Conflict
made the difference, but conflict isn't important so much for what it
is
as for what it
does
—what it makes happen. So, what did conflict make happen? What did conflict do? What difference did it make in the story? Can you tell? The answer is at the very heart of storytelling, and it's what makes or breaks every story. What conflict does is make the characters
act.
It forces them to
use themselves
—to act in a way that
reveals who they are.
Nothing tells us more about characters than how they deal with their troubles.
Action is character.
Whether they want it to or not, conflict draws them out. And that draws us in.

All right, it's time to pin it down, to give you a working model you can use
to shape any idea into a story.
This is what I was talking about in chapter 1, what I've spent years distilling into this simple, complete form—a form that's important not just for
what it includes
, but for
what it excludes
—for what's left out, for what you
don't
have to bother with.

In its purest form a story is just three elements:
conflict, action, resolution.
Someone is faced with a problem (conflict) he must struggle with (action), and he wins or loses (resolution). From climbing Mount Everest to asking for a date, from Romeo to Ahab to Scarlett O'Hara, the story form is the same. Romeo loves Juliet, but their families are enemies (conflict). They marry secretly and try to find a way to unite (action). Each commits suicide, thinking the other is dead (resolution). Ahab is obsessed with avenging himself against the whale. He must overcome his own madness and the sea (conflict). He sets out across the sea to find the whale (action). When he finds the whale, he loses the battle (resolution). Scarlett loves Ashley Wilkes, but he marries Melanie (conflict). Scarlett pursues Ashley anyway (action). When she realizes she cannot have Ashley and that she loves Rhett, it's too late (resolution).

These story elements are what you will spend your writing life working to master:

CONFLICT + ACTION + RESOLUTION = STORY

All right, how about an ending to the scene with Larry. Is it hard to figure an ending? No. It's clear what has to happen. That's because the story has a real beginning, a dramatic beginning—a conflict. So, how are we going to end it? The first thing we need is a scene ending (resolution). How are the characters going to get through dinner— assuming they do. Then, after Larry leaves, the husband (me) has to hash it all out with his wife. That can be a scene resolution or the final resolution if it's the end of the story. How I work it out with my wife in the long run or fail to is the story ending (resolution). The story ends when the problem is solved, when the conflict is resolved. It ends with closure.

When you're having trouble ending a story, it's because you don't have a real beginning, a true conflict. The secret to endings is:
The end is in the beginning.
If the ending is your problem, look at your beginning. If the beginning is set up right, the characters propel the story to the end.

So, stories are about adversity (flu, alleys, cheating, knives)—always. Happiness is not dramatic. It never was. It never will be. Happy lives make lousy novels. Dealing with happiness is not the issue in life. Achieving happiness is, but not happiness itself. No one goes to a shrink because he's too happy. Happiness can be the resolution to a story, but not the story itself. When happiness does show up, we don't need much of it. How much happiness is in
Cinderella
? A bit at the ball (with the stroke of midnight looming on the horizon), and the moment when the slipper slides on, then cut to "And they lived happily ever after." That's enough. We don't care where they lived happily. We don't care how. Happiness takes care of itself. There is little room for happiness in stories.

So if a woman says, "My husband is totally loyal. He never flirts. He never looks at other women. He never has an unfaithful thought. Even in his dreams, he dreams of me. I never have to worry about him. He'd never cheat on me in a million years," what does that tell us the story
must
be about? His cheating. He has to—and he has to get caught. Otherwise, what's the point? You have a devoted husband? Fine. Good for you. We're not interested, because we want some action, and that requires conflict. Trouble, adversity, crisis get us every time. When happiness shows up, don't dwell on it. Remember:
If the characters are having a good time, the reader is not. If it's going well, it's going nowhere.

To create conflict, the kind that's needed to move a story, you must have two elements—a
want
and an
obstacle.
Someone must want something and there must be an obstacle to be overcome to satisfy that want. Scarlett
wants
Ashely. Ashley is marrying Melanie
(obstacle).
Romeo and Juliet
want
to unite. Their families are enemies
(obstacle).
Ahab
wants
to kill the whale. The whale and the sea
(obstacles)
must be overcome. Both want and obstacle must be determined to overcome the other. If one is weak, you have no conflict. If Ahab got lucky and came upon the whale napping in shallow waters and harpooned him to death before he knew what hit him, no obstacle, no conflict, no story. Or if Ahab wised up and realized it was crazy to be risking his neck chasing the whale all over the sea (he's already lost one leg—did he want to lose another or worse?), again, no want, no conflict, no story. If Romeo decided Juliet was a fabulous girl, but not worth risking his neck for, no want, no conflict, no story. So, it's want + obstacle = conflict. You must have both, and both must be strong. These are obvious examples. It's not always so clear. One of the elements can be present but weak. When that happens, you will be straining and struggling to keep things going and never get there. The story must be driven by the energy and determination of the characters, not the author. The author creates the want and the obstacle and they do the job.

Conflict, action, resolution make up the story form. Someone said, "The form is the killer." It can be, but it doesn't have to be. For sure, it will be if you don't take time to learn the craft.

The craft includes two other basic elements:

Emotion:
Since this is where the ultimate connection is made, the payoff, where we become the character (feel what he or she feels), we must know at all times what the character is feeling. If we don't know what the character is feeling, we won't know what
we're
feeling. The emotion can be suggested or implied. It doesn't have to be spelled out, but we must know what it is at all times. Now, the character may not know what he is feeling, may be trying to figure out how he really feels. Confusion. That's fine. That's where the character is, and we're there also. But if we don't know, the character's not there, and neither are we. Emotion is the most complicated part of stories. We'll come back to it for a full treatment later (chapter 6).

Showing:
If I wanted to give you the definition of
homely,
I could go to the dictionary and find a definition. "Homely, adj. Lacking in elegance or refinement. Not attractive or good-looking." That's the
idea
of homely. Not particularly moving, is it? If I wanted to give you an
experience
of homely, to
show
it, I would have to put it in personal terms, to give you a specific person's experience of it. For example:

"She's a homely girl. I don't know where she gets it," my six-

year-old ears overhear my mother saying to my Aunt Beth. I

don't know what "homely" means, but I know it's bad. I run to my room, bury my head in my pillow, and cry. Eventually, I learn what homely really means. It means to be taken to the dentist for my buckteeth: "Can you make them straighter?"To the plastic surgeon for my nose: "Can you make it smaller?" It means I am dragged to walking classes, talking classes, and posture classes: "Chin up. Shoulders back. Enunciate. Smile." Homely means that everything I put in my mouth is carefully weighed, measured, and calculated beforehand so I don't take up more space than I already do. "Will she ever lose weight, Doctor?" my mother asks. "She's just a big girl," says Doctor Chen. Homely means that you see a look of disdain on the face of a mother who wishes her daughter could be a beauty queen. You see that look every day of your life.

—Elizabeth Brown

There you have it. Which hits home? The idea or the experience? If I say, "It was the worst day of George's life. He was so miserable, he went home and blew his brains out," do you feel for George? No you don't. Not because you're unfeeling, but because I haven't given you enough of George to make you feel. I've generalized George— given him to you in the abstract. I've given you the idea of George, but not George himself. I've told you
about
him instead of making him live, instead of making him happen before your eyes. I
told
you he was miserable. I
told
you he killed himself. But saying it doesn't make it so.
The reader will take your word for nothing.
You can't simply tell the reader. You have to
show
him.

If we're going to connect (identify) with George, I have to give you the experience of George.
Show
you what he's going through—how he's mistreated by his boss, by his friends, by himself.
Show
you how he struggles to have a life. I have to take you through his day so you can live it with him and think his thoughts and feel his misery. Only then can you become him, only then, when he puts the gun to his head, can you feel,
No, George, don't,
and shed a tear for George. Giving you the foil story of George would take too much time here, but you should get the idea. We'll have more. examples and exercises throughout the course, and chapter 7 is devoted to showing.

So, these are the five critical elements of storytelling: CONFLICT, ACTION, RESOLUTION, EMOTION, SHOWING. The first three define the shape of a complete story. Emotion is the critical ingredient. Showing is your basic technique to make your story come alive.

OK, let's see how it works. How we can use it to figure out what's working and what's not. We're going to go through three pieces of writing and see how to use these tools. As you read, relax and pay attention to your reactions, your emotions. That's your best guide always. Here's the first one:

Do spiders worry about sex?

A man on the television was talking about the way the world watches us, about how paintings are sizing us up, examining the brushstrokes on our souls. This may be why, in the presence of great beauty, we feel a vividness, a clarity, a recognition—because the beauty has found us, discovered who we truly are.

All right, stop for a moment. What's your level of involvement, from 1 to 10? How moved are you? Most people are on the low end at this point, at 3 to 5. Why would that be? Why isn't it at 8 to 10? From what we've gone over, can you tell what the issue is—what's not there and what needs to be there to get you hooked in a major way? What single writing technique might turn this piece into a gripping one? Remember
telling
versus
showing?
Ideas versus experience? These are ideas. Unless you really love these particular ideas, you're neither here nor there about them. You're neutral, and that's not high involvement. Of course, if they rub you the wrong way, you're set against them already. So, this is a good example of
telling
and not
showing.
Let's see where you go with the rest of it.

You notice her hair first. Not that you wouldn't want to spend hours in the warm lagoon of her eyes or learn the future by tracing her delicate hands. But it is her brown hair that men might spend hours devising ways to touch. A shade of brown that makes you long to be buried in leaves. An exquisite scent that forces you, against better judgment, to shut your eyes and savor. Hair that can keep a man from waxing the car, juggling, or building cathedrals. Your hands want nothing more than to touch it. But the beauty finds you first.