IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS, INC.
Read IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS, INC. Online
Authors: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
SHE PRESSED HER EAR TO THE DOOR…
Groan.
The sound was deep and throaty, almost like the sound of a man…well, getting off.
She cupped her hands over her mouth.
I can’t believe this guy.
The clock was ticking and it was really rude to keep someone waiting so he could wank it.
She gave the door another hard knock. “Listen, buddy, if you’re doing anything but dying, you’d better open this door, or I’m leaving. And I’m pretty sure you don’t want that.”
The man groaned again, but this time the sound was so deep and hard, it sent shivers up her spine and down to her nether region. His voice was just so damned sexy.
What? Sadie, what’s wrong with you?
“Oh. Come on, buddy!” Knock. Knock. Knock. “Can’t you do that later?”
She suddenly heard some rustling and then the sound of something large thumping on the floor. The door flew open and a huge man, wearing partially unzipped leather pants, stood panting in the doorway, no underwear, his pants barely holding to his hips and slung low on his muscular torso. She could see a dark patch of hair and the base of his cock, which looked hard as hell, straining against the inside of his pants.
She gulped. The man was hung.
Her eyes moved up over the snug fabric of his black T-shirt, the muscles of his chest and arms stretching it to its limits. She was sure this guy was some sort of weight lifter or martial arts enthusiast.
Or the next Thor.
Just like Bob had said.
When her eyes finally got to his face, two intense turquoise eyes burned right through her, stopping her breath for several heartbeats until her brain registered the fact that it was the same face who’d visited her the last two evenings in two unwelcome, very erotic dreams.
“So we meet again, meat wench.” His sinful lips flashed a smug little smile. “Why am I not surprised to see you here begging for more?”
IMMORTAL
MATCHMAKERS, INC.
book 1
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
a Mimi Boutique Novel
OTHER WORKS BY MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF:
FATE BOOK
(New Adult Suspense/Humor)
FATE BOOK TWO
(New Adult Suspense/Humor)
THE HAPPY PANTS CAFÉ
(Prequel/Romantic Comedy)
THE KING TRILOGY
(Dark Fantasy)
King’s (Book 1)
King for a Day (Book 2)
King of Me (Book 3)
THE MERMEN TRILOGY
(Dark Fantasy)
Mermen (Book 1)
MerMadmen (Book 2)
THE ACCIDENTALLY YOURS SERIES
(Paranormal Romance/Humor)
Accidentally in Love with…a God? (Book 1)
Accidentally Married to…a Vampire? (Book 2)
Sun God Seeks…Surrogate? (Book 3)
Accidentally…Evil? (a Novella) (Book 4)
Vampires Need Not…Apply? (Book 5)
Accidentally…Cimil? (a Novella) (Book 6)
Accidentally…Over? (Series Finale) (Book 7)
COMING SOON
FUGLY (Contemporary Romance)
MERCILESS (Book 3, the Mermen Trilogy)
MACK (Book 4, the King Series)
TOMMASO (Immortal Matchmakers Series, Book 2)
BRUTUS (Immortal Matchmakers Series, Book 3)
GOD OF WINE (Immortal Matchmakers Series, Book 4)
TAILORED FOR TROUBLE (THE HAPPY PANTS SERIES Book 1) (Romantic Comedy)
Like “FREE” Pirated Books? Then Ask Yourself This Question: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE I’M HELPING?
What sort of person or organization would put up a website that uses stolen work (or encourages its users to share stolen work) in order to make money for themselves, either through website traffic or direct sales?
Haven’t you ever wondered?
Putting up thousands of pirated books onto a website or creating those anonymous ebook file sharing sites takes time and resources. Quite a lot, actually.
So who are these people? Do you think they’re decent, ethical people with good intentions? Why do they set up camp anonymously in countries where they can’t easily be touched? And the money they make from advertising every time you go to their website, or through selling stolen work,
what are they using if for?
The answer is you don’t know.
They could be terrorists, organized criminals, or just greedy bastards. But one thing we DO know is that
THEY ARE CRIMINALS
who don’t care about you, your family, or me and mine.
And their intentions can’t be good.
And every time you illegally share or download a book, YOU ARE HELPING these people. Meanwhile, people like me, who work to support a family and children, are left wondering why anyone would condone this.
So please, please ask yourself who YOU are HELPING when you support ebook piracy and then ask yourself who you are HURTING.
And for those who legally purchased/borrowed/obtained my work from a reputable retailer (not sure, just ask me!) muchas thank yous! You rock.
The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of a copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by fines and federal imprisonment.
Copyright © 2015 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the writer, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks are not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Ebook ISBN: 978-0-9962504-1-2
PRINT ISBN: 978-0-9962504-2-9
Cover Design by EarthlyCharms.com
Editing by Latoya C. Smith and Pauline Nolet
Formatting by
WriteIntoPrint.com
DEDICATION
To Bridget and Ally. Thank you for your insane passion for this series (especially Cimil), for your love of unicorn paraphernalia, for the fun you bring to the street team, for the exuberance you show for life, and for being awesome human beings. You make the world a better place.
WARNING:
This book contains F-bombs, unicorns, leather pants, vampires, insane deities, hot assassins, and many references to extremely large penises. If you do not like F-bombs, unicorns, leather pants, vampires, insane deities, hot assassins, or large penises then this story is likely not for you.
Contents
OTHER WORKS BY MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF:
MerCiless – Coming November 30
th
, 2015!
Character Definitions The Gods
IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS, INC
My Dearest People Pets:
I’m back, bitches! Did ya miss me? Did ya, did ya, huh? Don’t answer that! Of course you did! And you’ve been counting the seconds, longing restlessly for my horribly inappropriate insanity. Well, wait no further! Auntie Cimi knows exactly what you want: A quiz! So without further ado, I giveth the quizeth:
1. Dear gods, I am so very grateful that Mimi has decided to write a spin-off of the Accidentally Yours Series because:
A. It gives me an excuse to continue sending Mimi unicorn-themed items (such as hand-crocheted hats, earrings, headbands with uni-horns, stickers, socks, “I don’t believe in humans” T-shirts, “I fucking love unicorns” pint glasses, and underwear) as well as all of the unicorn-related posts I find on Facebook.
B. It did not sit well with me that Andrus, Tommaso, Belch (the God of Wine), Bees, the Goddess of Forgetfulness, Gabran, K’ak, Zac, Sentin, and all of the other immortals I’ve grown to love have not found their mates. Where’s the justice in that?!