Immortal Need (26 page)

“Well, I know what Freya wants from me, but it’s something that I cannot give her,” Valerie was saying then, breaking him from his thoughts. Every time they took a step forward, they had to take two steps back. Sevani’s head was beginning to pound. He looked at Valerie. “She wants my apple, and I can’t give it to her permanently. With my apple, she could choose anyone she wanted in the human world to take.”

“She may have wanted your apple, and she would have the power to turn the living into immortals and not have to wait until their death to take them. That may be what she wants
now
, but what about when she made the pact? Those two things may be very different,” Loki countered. “I’ll give you a hint, since I’m feeling generous. Just be sure to thank me later.”

Loki walked up to Valerie and then bent over to whisper in her ear. Whatever he said made Valerie suck in a breath. But when Sevani shot her a questioning look, she just shook her head. Lei stepped up behind her as Loki moved away.

“Well, it’s been fun,” Loki said. “But I think I’ve done my damage for the day. I hope it is sufficient, of course, for you to go after Freya. It’s about time that woman got exactly what she deserves. Now, I’m going to run. It looks like she may be coming quicker than you think.” Loki then disappeared in a flash.

“What did he say to you?” Sevani asked as soon as he disappeared. Ayah came to his side, and he wrapped his arms around her.

“Nothing I want to talk about. Let me wrap my head around it. You heard what he said. Freya may be coming soon. We need to focus on that.”

Sevani didn’t agree, but he knew that if Valerie didn’t want to talk about it, she wouldn’t.

“Alexander, get back on the screens. Valerie and Lei can get the weapons ready and the house set,” Sevani said, leaving Valerie to her space. “Come on,” he said to Ayah then.

Once out of the living room, she turned him away from the stairs and steered him to her backyard. Seeing it in the daytime, outside of fighting enemies, was so different. Flowers, in many different colors, bordered the patio. Large trees he’d seen only as cover before dotted the yard and looked like fun. The backyard was a beautiful space, a place where children would play hide-and-go-seek, a place where a family would lounge and spend time together. The air smelled crisp and clean, the sun warm on his skin. He closed his eyes and just took it all in, breathed until his shoulders relaxed. Ayah said nothing, just wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. She felt good against him. It was moments like this, calm and peaceful ones, with Ayah by his side, that made him believe that he was doing the right thing, that she was the right woman to do it for. He’d meant everything he’d said to her when he’d taken her to bed. He would always be there for her, no matter the cost, no matter the decisions he had to make. He would take those burdens into the afterlife if it was necessary.

“You’re tensing again. What’s on your mind?” she asked.

“You,” he replied. “Things could get ugly. I want to know you’re safe.”

“You’ll keep me safe. I know it.”

“I haven’t done such a great job of it lately,” he commented.

“But you came to get me. That’s what matters,” she argued, palming his chin and turning his face to hers. “You didn’t leave me there, even when I didn’t want you around. You fought for me, even when I wanted nothing more than for you to disappear.”

“I couldn’t leave you,” he answered, turning his face to kiss her palm.

“How could I be any safer then? All four of you are here now.”

“I would say you could take a seed from Valerie, but she gave up her apple. Then you would be immortal. Freya wouldn’t be able to take you as a warrior.”

“But I thought with the apple she could choose who she wanted to take and wouldn’t have to wait until death. Isn’t that what Loki said?”

“Yes, but that point will be after Freya,” Sevani answered.

“You’re thinking about killing her, aren’t you?” Ayah pulled from his arms and stepped in front of him, her palms resting on his chest. He could feel the heat of them to his heart. Her questioning gaze was on him, seeking answers he was not sure he wanted to put into words. His silence spoke to her anyway.

“You have to think about the people that could get hurt if Loki wins. It could be thousands of years from now, or it could be tomorrow, but it will happen. With Loki challenging the gods, he will take over, and humans will die in the battle. We can’t curse others to a fate like that because of what’s going on right now.

“I have lived for thousands of years. I have seen humans kill each other, hate one another. I have seen pain and struggle, and it only gets worse with time. The way you deplete your resources, there may be nothing here for Loki to take over anyway. Why can’t I save you, one of the only good things I’ve found here? Why can’t I risk everything to have you? Don’t I deserve happiness too?”

“Sevani,” she whispered, shaking her head, “you are thinking in what-ifs. What if I’m hurt? What if I don’t make it? But what if I do, and Freya could be beaten some other way? What if Valerie breaks her ties with her and we bargain for Alexander’s life? Would Freya want to hold on to one, when she knows the others will be gunning for her? There are so many endings here. We haven’t tried one yet.”

“I know Freya,” he began. “She doesn’t lose well. She will hurt Alexander just because he’s all she has left. She will use our friendship as a means to gain us back. That’s what she does.”

“I gave you your soul back, right?”

Sevani nodded.

“Then we just have to get the other two souls for Lei and Alexander. Valerie knows what she must do to break with Freya. Maybe that’s the answer. I was able to give you your soul, I think, because my soul had walked those walls, had lived within Freya’s temple, and had tethered to you somehow. Our connection pulled it the rest of the way. Lei and Alexander may not have that chance. The circumstances of my life may have been the only reason we could bond.” She looked away when she stopped speaking, but he forced her gaze back with two fingers under her chin.

“Whatever the reason, it was destiny to happen, destiny for me to kill Nila, destiny for me to be under Freya, and destiny that I was tasked to kill you. The Norns knew what they were doing when they wove you into the threads of my fate. So, no, it is not just the circumstances of your life.” He kissed her lightly, pulling her tighter in his arms. He would never want her to believe that their bonding was anything short of meant to be. To question it meant she still had reservations, and, at this point in the game, he refused to allow her to have them. There was no way he was going back, no way he would be the Sevani he once was, no way that he would ever follow Freya’s cruel dictatorship. Ayah had awakened something in him he hadn’t remembered he’d lost: the will to survive, and the ability to love. He would not throw that treasure back in her face.

“But,” he said then, breaking the kiss, “you are right. Maybe we don’t need to kill Freya, as much as find our souls. If they are in the temple somewhere, then getting them away from her will give us our freedom. She may come after us, but we can deal with that. We’ll be free, and the handicap of what she can do to us will be gone. Perhaps, and that is stretching it a little, it will not take her death.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Lei asked, stepping out with Valerie. “Do we kill her, or get the souls?”

“We were waiting for her to come to us, but it seems we should go to her,” Valerie commented.

“Looks like it. If we go after her in her temple, then we have a chance of getting to the souls. We take those souls back, then we’re free of her,” Sevani answered.

“And so will I be, after today,” Valerie agreed, smiling. “Never thought this would happen.”

“Are we heading out?” Alexander asked, dragging bags of what Sevani figured were weapons behind him.

“I think that will be the better move,” Valerie said. “No use tearing up Ayah’s home. This will be nothing like those soldiers. Let’s go mess up Freya’s house.”

“Loki said she was coming faster than we thought, though. Couldn’t she already be on her way here?” Ayah asked.

“If she is, then she won’t find us, and we’ll have more time to go through her temple before she realizes we’re gone. If she hasn’t left yet, well, we’ll deal with her then,” Sevani explained.

“Plan?” Alexander asked.

“We move in. Valerie, you can head to find the souls. Take Ayah with you. That will keep her safe.”

“You’re not leaving me here?” Ayah asked.

“No. If we move there and she’s coming here, then you could be in danger. It’s safer if we know where you are,” Sevani answered.

Ayah nodded. “So I’m with Valerie, got it.”

“I feel like I’ve been waiting for this all my life,” Valerie said, taking a deep breath.

“We all have,” Lei agreed.

“What a difference a girl makes,” Alexander said, smiling softly at Ayah.

“Yes, what a difference,” Sevani added, taking Ayah’s hand in his. “I’ll do the flash. Just be ready to cover. Freya is not going to play nice.”

“Neither will I,” Alexander growled, and his words faded as they flashed.

Chapter Eighteen

Ayah officially believed that she was not a fan of flashing. It made her head hurt, her heart pound, and her teeth ache in her jaw. Flashing, for her at least, was like having every particle of her torn apart and slammed back together on the other side. She was left feeling achy, like she’d just gotten over the flu. The feeling lasted for only a few minutes, but those minutes felt like forever, especially when Valerie was already tugging her arm and forcing her through the temple. All she could accomplish was placing one foot in front of the other. She wondered if Freya was in her home or if she was here, in the temple, waiting for them somewhere, but then the fog in her brain made even that thought too hard to hold on to. If it wasn’t for Valerie holding her upright, Ayah didn’t know how she would have moved.

“Sit here,” Valerie said, sliding Ayah down a wall until she crumpled in a heap on the floor. Yeah, definitely hated flashing.

“Thissssusckcs,” Ayah slurred.

“Sucks? Yes. I know. It took the guys some time to get used to it. The first time I flashed Alexander, he puked all over the place.”

“Sevani?” Ayah asked, words still slow.

“Don’t tell him I told you, but he did, too and nearly fainted. I think I even saw him kiss the ground, but don’t quote me on that,” Valerie finished with a soft smile. She brushed Ayah’s hair from her face and then massaged her temples with strong but gentle fingers. “It’ll pass, Ayah. It’ll pass.”

They’d warned her about that before they flashed her home from Freya’s lands the first time. She had never wanted to come back here again, but she didn’t want to have another run-in with Freya. She would choose to run with the Watchers any day. Who could be afraid with them at their sides?

“Better?” Valerie asked, and Ayah nodded her head. At least the pain in her skull had died down. Her bones still felt sore, but that she could deal with. She let Valerie help her stand and rested a second against the wall to gain her footing.

She hadn’t seen the temple the first time she’d been here. She didn’t want to count the small view she’d gotten riding Sevani’s shoulder on the way out. The goddess was a narcissist, that was for sure. All over the walls were large paintings that spanned from the floor to the high-vaulted ceiling, of the goddess in different robes, positions, and actions. Some showed her lounging on a chaise with a bouncing baby boy on her lap, a golden halo around his blond curls. Others she was standing under a tree with her signature golden necklace, white robes, and golden slippers, with a smile on her face. Ayah wondered if Freya even knew what it was like to smile anymore, truly smile, without artifice or pain. She doubted Freya did. She understood the pain of loss. When Ayah had lost her mother, she’d withdrawn from the world. It would have been so easy to allow herself to disappear within the cloud of depression and anger, anger that her mother hadn’t survived, anger at the drunk driver for getting in his car that day, and anger of him surviving with just scratches. Anger that her father hadn’t killed the man when they’d seen him in court at his sentencing. And rage at law enforcement for letting the young man, a politician’s son, get away with over ten DUIs before he had the chance to kill Ayah’s mother. She’d gone to wearing black, listening to hard-core rock, and thinking that death was better than living. Her siblings hadn’t known what to do with her. They’d left her alone probably when she’d needed them the most. But her father hadn’t left her. He’d walked into her room every day, opened the curtains and windows, turned off her music, and forced her to go outside in the sun. They’d saved each other. Maybe Freya hadn’t had anyone to help her, and that’s why she’d spiraled out of control. It was just hard to see a goddess act so much like a human.

Ayah could almost feel sorry for her—almost.

“We have to find where Freya kept the souls. I think, maybe, my soul will pick up on them if we’re closer.”

“Why?” Ayah asked.

“Because I’m a goddess. I should be able to feel the burn of living souls. I wish I had known this all before,” Valerie said.

“It’s not your fault, Val. I’m sure Freya didn’t want you to know, because then you’d fight her, try to break the others free. It served her purpose to keep you in the dark.”

“You’re good for him. For us all,” Valerie commented. “We’re prone to dark thoughts, but you just won’t let that stand.”

“I had someone do that for me,” Ayah said, thinking of her father. “If he hadn’t, I don’t think I would have survived.”

“Good for him,” Val said. “Let’s try to find the souls, quick. If Freya’s here, she won’t stay hidden for long, and I think it would be safe for us all to be together.”

“I agree.” Ayah followed Valerie through long corridors that were silent. For a temple, Ayah would have thought the goddess would have followers or priestesses or something around, but she didn’t. It was like a mausoleum instead of a place to worship a goddess. But she didn’t say anything to cause a distraction. Valerie would stop every few steps, close her eyes, and wait, as if sensing something. After a minute, she would either continue forward or turn back. Ayah stayed as close to the wall as she could not to disturb her. But when the wall suddenly vibrated and a loud
clap
echoed through the halls, Ayah nearly climbed up her back.