Imperative: Volume 2, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (29 page)

“Papa never saw this.  All he knew of the ocean was from his books.”  Elizabeth said softly.  “He hated to leave home.” 

Darcy nodded as he considered the water stretching out before them.  “I can understand that.  But I cannot imagine giving back the memories of the places I have been, no matter the difficulty of travelling there.” 

“So it is a choice as much as it is an opportunity.” 

“If one has the means, yes.”  He smiled and kissed her cheek.  “And you have both, as did he.”  Gently, he tugged her arms free and as she relaxed back into his embrace, he laced his fingers over hers.  “Your father had many choices in his life, just as we all do.”

“I chose to defy him.”  

“No doubt more than once, knowing you.  You defy him now, wearing this dress, do you not?  Go on, admit it.”  Elizabeth looked up and saw the hint of a twinkle in his eye.  “How old were you the first time that you defied your father?”

“The first moment that I took breath, I think.  I defied him by being born a girl.”  She smiled when he laughed.  “And thus it grew from there.” 

“I sometimes wonder what you were like as a child.  I suppose I will find out one day when our first girl graces our lives.” 

“You will be hopeless.”  She said knowingly.

“Why do you say that?  What kind of a father do your imagine me being?”  Turning her around, he smiled down into her eyes.  “I am not one to be moulded like clay.”  Elizabeth’s hand went to her mouth to cover a most unladylike snort.  “Dearest, as easy as you think I am, I would never have allowed your magic to be worked upon me if I was not a willing and admittedly eager participant.”  He took her hand away from her mouth and kissed her none-too gently.  “So chew on
that
, Mrs. Darcy.” 

She considered him.  “You
are
stubborn.” 

“I am.” 

“You are displaying that streak now.  You are not allowing me to wallow in sadness and guilt.” 

“Have I mentioned that I am selfish as well?”  His head tilted.

“There was no need to; I can spot a selfish man a mile away.  After all, I was raised by a prime example.”  Elizabeth caressed his cheek, and traced over the scar.  “But your selfishness is of a different sort than his.  He wanted
everything
to be about his comfort and amusement.  Yours is . . . harder to describe.”   Darcy looked at her quizzically and began to speak when she put her fingers over his lips.  “Please allow me to finish, Mr. Darcy.”

He kissed her fingertips and waved his hand, “Pray continue.”

She glanced up at him and back out to the water.  “I was just going to say that your selfishness is of a man wishing to comfort and care for everyone you love.”  Her eyes brightened as his softened.  “When I thought that you had died . . .” She drew a shaking breath and he held her tightly to his chest.  

“Shhhh.  I am right here, dearest.”  Darcy said softly against her bonnet.

“Will, it was as if my heart had stopped beating, and the breath had been stolen from my lungs.”

“And your stubbornness saved me.”  He reminded her.

 Elizabeth closed her eyes as he rubbed his hands up and down her shoulders.  “When I knew that Papa had died . . . I felt a flutter in my stomach, I felt terrible sadness, but I . . . I felt that I had said goodbye.” 

“You had, love.  You have been in mourning since you left him at Longbourn.  Your dress is the only thing that has changed, well, that and confirmation of the inevitable.”  They looked at each other and he lifted her chin to kiss her again. 

“Will I feel the same when my mother dies?  Or if any of my sisters die?  We are so far apart now.  Does distance change the ties that bind?”

Considering the question, he shook his head.  “I do not know.  Your relationship with your father was damaged because you discovered that the man you trusted implicitly was willing to trade your happiness for his ease.  I think that to survive that pain, you had to close off some of your feelings for him.  But your display of sadness makes it clear that at one time, you were very close to him.  I am grateful for that, since whatever he did do for you, besides giving you life, made you the woman I wanted to love.  For that I will always show him respect.”

She read the love in his eyes.  “When your father died, it came out of the clear blue sky.”

“Yes, and I was overwhelmed, utterly, and devastated.” 

“And you watched it happen.  So it was absolutely true.”

“Do you doubt your father’s passing?”  He smiled a little and caressed her cheek.

“No, of course not, the stationary alone told me the truth before I read the words.  I imagine that Mama had that purchased the afternoon that he told her he was ill. ‘She will revel in it.’  Papa said of her.  I think that he was correct, observing people one last time.”  Elizabeth’s eyes became bright. 

Darcy found his handkerchief and wiped her tears, “Will you obey his request that you not mourn him for long?”

“I think that he would be very sad not to be remembered for a little while.”  She looked down at her black gown.  “He said that he expects Mama to enjoy her widow’s weeds and make full use of her wailing whenever Mr. Collins appears.  There is no question of Mary following the strictest letter of whatever is required, of course Jane will as well, and Kitty and Lydia will simply because they live in Meryton and the talk would be deafening if they did not.  Maybe it will be good for them to have six months without dances.  Mama was considering sending Lydia to Brighton with Mrs. Forster.  I begged Jane to speak sense to her.  Now there is no question of her going.”

“A blessing in disguise.  Like you, I feared her travelling there with the soldiers.  I did not anticipate a good outcome; in fact, I . . .  expected a very familiar one instead.” 

“Oh, Will!” 

“Perhaps I am pessimistic.”  He sighed and hugged her again. 

“You have reason to be.”  Hearing the screeching and cackling of the gulls circling above, they watched as one found a bit of shell and began tugging it around the sand.  Immediately a horde of birds descended and the cacophony of arguing and fighting over the completely inedible object rose to a fever pitch.  Elizabeth laughed and put her hands to her mouth.  “Oh my goodness!  Why do they remind me of the ladies of Meryton!” 

Darcy chuckled and raised his voice to be heard above the din.  “I feel for the shell, it was innocently lying there when suddenly some bird spotted its perceived value.”

“They will pick it apart!”

“And discard it when they are through.”  His eyes danced. “Oh . . . look, the most aggressive one won the prize.  See her strutting around with it in her mouth?”

“You believe that bird to be female?”  Elizabeth looked back to him. 

“Well, just listen to her!”  He laughed at her frown.  “Now look at the defeated ones.  They just go off about their business.  All that noise was meaningless, in the end she was left with an empty shell.  There look, she has dropped it already.”  He pointed as a few of the other birds came to examine and reject the discarded prize.  “It was all for show.”

Elizabeth kept her gaze upon his smiling face as he looked out at the beach teeming with birds, now lifting en masse to investigate a fishing boat slowly making its way to shore.  “You have had enough of sadness, have you not?” 

His head tilted, “What is on your mind, dear?  You have that familiar glint in your eye.” 

“I will not even ask what that means.”  Elizabeth smiled and returned her hands to his.  “Georgiana’s situation is nonnegotiable; we must protect her from those who would pick her apart.  But I agree with you, the way of mourning should be a personal decision, not one dictated by the crowd.”

“I may believe that in my heart, but I know that reality demands otherwise.  We must not draw attention to ourselves in public.”

“I know, dear . . . but we are hardly known here and I do not expect many visitors . . .” She bit her lip and looked down at the village.  “It would be nice to honour Papa’s wish as well as the rules of society.”

“In some ways, I believe that your father has placed yet another burden on your shoulders by telling you his wishes.  It is unfair to put you in this position when your feelings are in such confusion.”

“But I wish to please you, as well.”

“There you go again.  And how can you do that?”  He smiled as he watched her thinking and offered, “Add a small adornment of some sort to your customary dress?” 

“Have you any money with you?”

“Well, yes, of course.”  His brow creasing he followed her eyes.  “There is very little shopping in that village.”

“I need very little.”   She smiled and taking his hand, started to pull him down the slope, and came to a standstill when he refused to move further.  “Will!”

“Horses, love.  We cannot abandon them.  The poor things will be eaten by those ravenous gulls.”  He laughed and tugged her hand.  “What do you want to do?”

“I want to take off this gown!”  Elizabeth looked down upon it.  “You were so right this morning when you said not to wear it.”

“I said no such thing.” 

“Yes, you did.”  She looked at him pointedly.

“I may have implied it . . . but that was selfishness again.”  Darcy watched her biting her lip, indecision played across her features.  Drawing her close, he pulled on a curl and watched it spring back into place.  “If you would like to remove your gown, would not home be the appropriate place?”  He caressed his palms down her sides, over the curves of her waist to rest upon her hips.  “I will be very glad to help.” 

“No doubt . . .” Elizabeth whispered when she found her mouth captured by his demanding kiss.  “Will . . .” She breathed when he let go for a moment, then wrapping his arms around her, pulled her in hard to his body, and possessed her mouth again.  “Oh my . . .”  Elizabeth swallowed and gasped when his hands moved down her back and cupping her bottom, he lifted her up to press her tight against his groin, and rubbed, even as he stole her breath away with another searing kiss.  “Oh, Will!”  She sighed when he relinquished her mouth.

“Do you want me, Lizzy?” Darcy said hoarsely in her ear.

“Yes,
please
. . .” 

“Tell me what you feel.”  His teeth found her earlobe.

“I am on fire . . .” She moaned in his mouth when his lips found hers again.  Darcy stroked his hands down her back to press their hips together, “Oh yes . . .” Elizabeth moaned. 

“I want to be inside of you.  I want to make you feel alive.”

“Please . . .”

“Remember when I said that I wanted to be a piston?”  His hands roamed over her.  “Relentless, powerful, strokes.  Deep, deep, inside of you.”

“Oh . . .”

“Over and over and over again.”  He growled.

“Now?  Please?”  She begged.

“No.”  He whispered, and tenderly kissed her before drawing away. 

“
NO?
  She stared, her heart was pounding, her breath was ragged, she rubbed her fingers over her swollen lips, trying to recapture the feel of his kisses.  “Why did you stop?”

“How do you feel, love?” 

“How do you think I feel?  I am . . . I am . . . aching for you!  I have been aching for you for weeks!”  Tears of frustration appeared in her eyes and she balled up her fists to pound on his chest.  Darcy laughed and caught her wrists.  “Why would you tease me so?”

“The cruel answer is to say that I am giving you a taste of how I feel nearly constantly around you.”  He was glad to see a bit of pride kindle in her eyes.  “But the truth is, I wanted to jolt you out of your mourning for a man who
does not want
to be mourned by you.”  He raised his brows.  “He asks you to embrace the life you have chosen and not wallow in the life you so very wisely rejected.”

Elizabeth became still and held his eyes while he held her hand.  She felt the power of his love washing over her and saw the encouragement in his look.

She took a breath and drawing herself up, demanded, “Could you not have made your point without leaving me weak-kneed and wanting?” 

A smile spread across his face and he nodded as he helped her up onto Daisy’s back, “Certainly, but it would not be half as fun.” 

“Fun!”  Elizabeth stared.  “
Fun
?”

“Perhaps I am tipping my hat to your father’s sense of humour?”

“Oh no, do not use a supposed tribute to my father as an excuse!” 

“No?  Well, I tried.  Forgive me.”  He stepped over to Bruin and seeing that she wanted, even
needed
him to continue, he nodded to Daisy, “You know, it is a shame you must ride side saddle, I think that riding might have brought you relief.  I suppose that you will have to wait for tonight now.” 

Dear man.
  Elizabeth smiled, then narrowing her eyes pointed to his obvious arousal, “Watch yourself, Sir Priapism.  You might just be describing your condition as well.”  Kicking Daisy, they set off at a trot.  “Try and keep up with us, but watch your purse, Mr. Darcy.  I would not want it to spill.”

“My purse?”  Gingerly he settled onto Bruin’s back.  “What purse do you mean?” 

“Why that one you carry about your waist, the one that carries the family jewels?”  Looking back at him she said softly.  “Thank you.” 

Relieved with his success, he smiled.  “You are welcome, dear.” 

“WE NEEDED A DAY LIKE THIS.” Elizabeth said softly.

“We did.”  Darcy took a sip of his wine and looked down at her face resting in his lap.  She was lying across the sofa before the fire in their chambers, finally alone again after their day by the sea and evening with Georgiana. 

Putting down his glass, he set about removing the black ribbons that still adorned her hair. 

“What are you doing?”  She looked up and smiled. 

“Never you mind.  Return to our conversation.” 

“What shall we talk about?” 

He thought for a moment, “Fools.”

“Hmm.  Richard?”

“No, just fools in general.”  He worked on a challenging knot and bit his lip.  “I am a fool.”

“I have known that for ages.”

“You have not known me for ages, love.  You have not known me a year.” 

“A half a year . . .”