Imperative: Volume 2, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (45 page)

When they returned, Mrs. Dickson joined her in the hallway.  “I would like Mrs. Darcy to come as well.”

“Certainly.”  Curious, Elizabeth knocked on Susan’s door and the three women walked down to the study. 

“I HAVE RECEIVED a note from my housekeeper that yesterday morning; a girl came to the door in the throes of labour.  She had been in Gretna Green for several days, awaiting the arrival of the father of her child.  She was rejected by her family, and hoped that returning as a married woman with a legitimate child would bring her back into favour.  The man never came, but the baby did, and thankfully for her sake, died.  But she cannot return home.”  She sighed and clasped her hands.  “I will try to place her somewhere as a servant, but the thought occurred to me that here is your wet nurse.  She has no home, so she will surely be happy to come into yours, Mr. Darcy.  You would be able to travel at any time, and most importantly, you will be able to separate Miss Cargill from the baby as soon as possible.”

“Why?”  Darcy asked and noticed Elizabeth nodding. 

“She is forming a bond with the baby, Fitzwilliam.  A motherly bond.  I fear that if she continues to feed her, then she will have a very difficult time giving her up.”

“And everything that we have done would be for nothing.”  He said thoughtfully.  “But she seemed very happy to see the baby with Aunt and Uncle yesterday.”

“You saw her just after she gave birth, dear.  The weight was suddenly, literally lifted.  Now she has spent an exhausting night trying to satisfy this child, and felt the triumph of seeing her content.”  Susan explained to him. 

“This news must overwhelm you, Aunt.”

“That she is bonding with a beautiful child?  No, not at all.   But all of us in this room know what the best decision is for both of them.”

“And it is the decision that was made months ago, Fitzwilliam, when none of us supported you.  Least of all, me.”  Harding spoke quietly.  “We have inquired about a wet nurse for her when we returned home, but we were not expecting to need her until August.  If this young woman is suitable and willing, I think that it would be foolish to pass on employing her.”

“I agree, Cousin.”  Richard crossed his arms over his chest.  “Do not reject a gift as fortuitous as this.”

“So you propose bringing this girl here and for my sis . . .” He closed his eyes.  “. . . for my sister to leave?  When?”

Mrs. Dickson exchanged knowing looks with her brother.  “Miss Cargill cannot return to a place where she is assumed to be unsullied until the outward signs of giving birth have gone.  Her milk must dry up.  It is a simple, but often painful process.  Every mother experiences it when the baby is weaned, but the sooner it is begun, the better.  I predict no more than a fortnight, and then she may travel home if you wish to go.” 

“Is that safe?  Should she not lie in a darkened room for six weeks?”  Harding looked to Susan.

“That is what I did; even the keyholes were plugged up to keep the slightest breath of air from reaching me.  However that was well over twenty years ago, dear.  I think that some things might have improved.”

“I can tell you right now, I will do no such thing.”  Elizabeth declared.

“We will see.”  Darcy smiled.  “I will not allow you to be in danger from the breeze.”

“Do not test me, sir.”

“But I love to test you.  I look forward to it.” 

“Fitzwilliam Darcy.”  Elizabeth laughed.  “I think that you are returning to yourself.”

“I do, too.”  Taking her hand, he turned to the midwife.  “I like this idea, my only concern is the character of the girl.”

Harding watched their fingers entwining and cleared his throat.  “She would be coming into my home, Fitzwilliam, not yours.  And it seems to me that she would be grateful for the opportunity.”

“What becomes of her when Hope is weaned?”  Elizabeth asked. 

Susan smiled.  “Oh, that is simple, she may continue as Hope’s nurse.  If she shows promise, she could be her maid, or I can move her into some other position in the household.  Who knows, by then she might wish to move on to a new situation.”

“I wonder how Georgiana will receive the news.”  Samuel looked up at the ceiling. 

Darcy turned to his aunt and uncle.  “Well, it is my responsibility to deliver it.”  Elizabeth squeezed his hand and nodded.  “And then we will see.”

DARCY SAT DOWN on the bed after the short ceremony was completed and as planned, the rest of the family departed from the bedchamber.  Elizabeth carefully placed Hope into his stiff arms. 

“You are fine, dear man.”  She whispered, “Relax.”

“Remind me to breathe.”  He looked down at the baby’s peaceful face, still damp from the holy water. 

“Is she not lovely?” Elizabeth put her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek as he nodded.  “See what you have done by following your convictions?”  He smiled shyly and started when Hope’s eyes opened and seemed to fix on his. 

“Lizzy . . .” Kissing him again, she smiled and let go.

“I will just leave you three alone.”  

Worriedly, he looked between her and the baby, “Please stay.” 

“I will not be a moment.”  She winked when Georgiana laughed.

He watched her going and the door closing behind her.  Hope made a small noise and he looked back down at her.  “I wonder if you will grow into a stubborn woman like your aunt.” 

“If she has any bit of your stubbornness in her she will.  Do you think that comes from the Darcy side or the Fitzwilliam?”

“I think it is both, so you and I are doubly doomed.” 

Georgiana noticed lines on Darcy’s face she had not seen before.  “Oh Fitzwilliam . . . what has all this done to you?” 

Seeing her gaze he glanced at his reflection in a mirror across the room.  “Lizzy will set me to rights.”  He looked back down at the baby.  “But the time has come for you to make a very important decision, what do you want for your life?” 

She suddenly realized that they were alone for a reason and nervously started playing with a ribbon on her gown.  “Must I decide today?” 

“Well . . . that question alone tells me that you must.”  Hope held his finger and smiling a little; he looked up to his sister and saw the light of pride kindling in her eyes.  “You are becoming attached.”

“I know.”  She touched the tiny bundle.  “I thought that I could just remain indifferent.” 

“That was a fine idea until you held her, was it not?  I . . . for the greater portion of your pregnancy, I was afraid that I would hate this child, despite her innocence.”  He looked down at the little hand wrapped around his finger.  “Georgiana . . . Mrs. Dickson received word that a young lady is living in her home in Gretna Green who gave birth two days ago.  The man she hoped to marry was to meet her and he never came.  The child died.”  They watched Hope yawn and try to focus on him.  “She would be an excellent wet nurse.  We could have her here by tomorrow morning and you . . . could separate yourself from the baby.”

“Oh.”

“Mrs. Dickson and Aunt described the process you must endure to . . .” His face coloured and his hand waved as he gestured to her chest and looked at the baby.

“Stop feeding her.”

“Yes.”  His blush deepened. 

“Oh.”

“We have come to the crossroads, dear.  You have had months to consider your position.  What do you want of your life?”  He read her face.  “Aunt and Uncle are more than ready to be her parents, Elizabeth and I have found a new companion for you . . .” 

“If I decide to be Hope’s mother, everything falls apart.”

He watched her, trying to judge what she was feeling.  “You will likely never marry, or if you do, it will not be the marriage you expected.”

“But if I must tell the man who takes me that I have given birth, would I not be rejected anyway?”

“Not if he loves you, no.  Not if he understands what happened, and realizes it was years in the past.  He will see how you worked hard to overcome your mistake and hopefully love you with all of his heart.”  He smiled and she looked down at her hands.  “What is it, dear?”

“Fitzwilliam, even I know there are very few men like you in the world. How am I to find one? I think that it is possible that I never will.”

Darcy had no idea how to respond and just looked at the baby as he searched for the right thing to say.  “So you give up?”

“No.  But I have no desire to be a lady of society.  I hope that if a man takes me, he will be a kind man, who wants to live apart from that social whirlwind.  I suppose that we are alike in that desire to just retire to the country with our family and friends.”  He nodded.  “But . . . I am a Darcy.”

He lifted his head and read her eyes.  “What does that mean to you?  I sense that your opinion has changed.”

“It is what it means to you that strikes me.  Elizabeth and I have talked so much about the family.  All of those hours we spent sewing the clothes for Hope and the clothes for the abandoned babies left for the orphanage, she asked all about our history and things that I did not realize I knew.  You and Papa taught me so much that only seems to have meaning now.”

“We tried to.”  His gaze went to the signet ring on his finger and Georgiana saw it.

“I guess that it was her way of making me think about who I am and . . . who you are.  You are more than just my elder brother.  You are the Master of Pemberley.  She told me that it was not a position that you coveted, but one that you were born to safeguard for the next generation.”

“Elizabeth did this?”  A slow smile crept over his face.

“She is quite subtle.”

“Yes, she can be.”  He said softly.

“She made me realize that . . . all you ever wanted was to protect me and the family.  It has not been showy or dramatic.  You have just been . . . you.”  Their eyes met.

“And that is why he is so great.  He is steadfast and true.”  Elizabeth closed the door and crossed the room to embrace Darcy’s shoulders and kiss his cheek. 

Darcy sighed as she settled next to him.  “Where have you been?”

“Speaking with Susan.”

“Is she worried about what we are discussing?”

“Naturally.”  Elizabeth fussed with the swaddling around the baby that had loosened.  “Her future is in this bundle.  I take it that you have not spoken your decision yet?” 

“I think that we were approaching it.”  Darcy smiled.

She looked between the siblings and nodded.  “Let me ask you this, Georgiana.  The feelings that you are now experiencing for Hope are wonderful, but what can you offer her besides love?  That is all well and good with her as an infant, but before you know it she will be walking and talking.  She is not a doll to play with.”

“Of course not, but . . . I do love her.”  Georgiana looked at the baby in her brother’s arms.  “She is part of me.”

“Yes she is, and she always will be, but she needs more than love.”  Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand.  “She is a living, breathing person who did not ask for this beginning.  She will ask where and who her father is, she will wonder why she is shunned by others, and you know that she would be, as would you.”  Georgiana nodded sadly.  “What can you teach her when you have not grown up enough to learn yourself?  What experience will you be able to offer her?”

Elizabeth nodded, “You have watched me struggling to learn my place, Georgiana, and I am nearly five years older than you, and married to a wonderful man who tolerates my ignorance.”

Darcy groaned softly. “Yes, dearest, I find you tolerable.” 

She smiled and nudged him.  “I wondered if you would hear that.” 

“That is because I listen.”

Georgiana looked between them.  “Thank you for telling me what to do while making me think I was the one deciding, Fitzwilliam.”

“Is that what I am doing?”  He smiled.

“He is very subtle.”  Elizabeth squeezed his hand and Darcy chuckled softly when Georgiana laughed.  “What did I say?”

“Nothing, dear.”  Darcy kissed her fingers. 

Georgiana looked at her daughter and made the only decision she could, “Go on and ask Mrs. Dickson to bring the wet nurse.  I suppose that means you are saving her, too, Brother.”

“I . . . I . . .” He saw Elizabeth nodding and he shrugged.  “I think that . . . you are saving her by agreeing to let go.” 

“Fair enough.”  Elizabeth held out her arms.  “My turn!”

“Why?”  Darcy pulled back.

“Oh, so you like holding her, now?”  She laughed and still held out her arms.  “You know that once Aunt Susan and Uncle Harding take her, we will never hold her again.” 

“That is likely true.”  He carefully placed her into Elizabeth’s arms.  “How did you choose her name, Georgiana?”

“Hope is obvious, I think.”  Elizabeth bent and breathed in the new baby smell. 

“Yes, but Georgia?  Not Georgiana?”

“I thought it would be for both of her parents.”  Georgiana said quietly. 

Elizabeth felt Darcy stiffen.  “Do you still have feelings for him?”

“I care for him, but I am clear on not loving him now.”  She hesitated and closing her eyes, whispered, “He spoke to me.”

Immediately Darcy’s intense focus was on her.  “Pardon?  In your imagination . . . you thought of him as you looked upon the babe?”

“No, Fitzwilliam.  In the garden.  Yesterday.”  Darcy’s lips pressed into a tight thin line.  “I . . . Elizabeth left me and . . . George was there, watching me.”

“He
spoke
to you?  What did he want?”  Darcy demanded.

“shhh!”  Elizabeth chastised him when the baby stirred.

“Well?”  Darcy said in a heated whisper.

“He just wanted to know that I was well, and he hoped to know that the baby was well.”  She touched Hope.  “He just wanted to know if he was the father of a girl or a boy.”

“Oh, Georgiana . . .” Elizabeth sighed.  “I am sure that seeing him is what brought on your labour.” 

“He said that he would not bother me, and that he . . . he hoped that I marry a good man who will love me.”  Darcy listened closely.  “He said that he would watch over me from afar.”

“There it is.”  He sat back and nodded.  “I knew that he could not bow out gracefully.”

“But he is!  He asks for no money, I even questioned him on those things!  I . . . I was quite unyielding.”