Imperfections (8 page)

She had postpartum depression for the first year of Sasha's life. Jay did everything for Sasha so Vanessa wouldn't have any added stress and to make things easier for her, but it seemed like the more he did, the further apart they grew. Seeing them together now, smiling and talking like they used to, gives me hope they'll find their way back to each other. Gives me hope one day I'll find the right man for myself. When I do, he'll be single, free and disengaged.

I sigh deeply and take another sip of my wine. Why are things so complicated sometimes? Why can't things work out the way you want them to? Life would be so much simpler. I look down at my wine glass on the table and run my finger back and forth across the rim of the glass, looking up when Kate says something to me.

"Are you all right, Cat?"

Kate looks at me concerned like she's trying to figure something out. I don't feel like being at this dinner. Under different circumstances I would have loved to spend time with my sister and brothers. I do not want to spend time with Nick and Kate as a couple. Last night was enough especially after the argument we had in his car. Where is he anyway? It's been about thirty minutes since I got out of his car and slammed the door as hard as I could. Most men hate that, their cars are like their babies.

"Cat, you didn't answer me, are you okay?"

"Yes. I was thinking."

"About what?"

"How good it is to see you guys and catch up on all the things going on in our lives." Which is not a lie. Then I hear it. A sweet, southern voice coming toward us.

"Hi, y'all!"

Oh no. I groan inwardly and look at Ava, at least I think it's Ava. I absolutely know the guy standing next to her, I can't ignore his presence. I'm so angry with him for everything, not just the argument in the car. I'm going to try to have a pleasant evening and try to the best of my abilities not to create a scene. I can do that as long as he's on his best behavior.

I push my chair back, stand and kiss Ava on the cheek. Ava was always gorgeous but wow, now she's a total knockout, she's a smoking hot babe. With a shocked expression I run my hand over her hair.

"What did you do to yourself?"

"You don't like it?" she says with a frown.

"Are you kidding? I love it."

"For the first time today since I colored my hair I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Other people might be nice and say it looks good, even if it doesn't, but a true friend like you would tell me the truth."

"Men are going to be lined up around the block to get your number."

"If there is a line, I only want one guy in it."

She turns around, looks down the table at Chris giving him a beaming smile. She walks around to Vanessa and Jay and greets them with a hug and a kiss. She sits in the chair at the end of the table between Chris and Kate. Nick greets everyone at the table and since no one but me knew Ava was coming he asks for an extra chair. He actually has the nerve to tell them to put his chair between me and Kate. What the hell!

Vanessa turns and asks me something, up until that point everything was going fine. The music was a good mix of rock—not the hardcore stuff—and Neo soul. The guys in the band were cute; three white guys and two black. They looked like they might be in their mid-to-late twenties, they sure didn't look like they were starving artists struggling to make their way.  The jeans alone that all of them were wearing had to cost anywhere between two, two hundred fifty dollars easily. Maybe this was a thing they did on the side for fun. Then I remember Chris did say they owned this place. Business must be good for them.

Here I am, relaxed, on my third glass of wine, enjoying the music, the vibes in the club and the view of the hot guys in the band. I'm so wrapped up in the band and the music I manage to effectively ignore the other hot guy sitting next to me who I want to haul off and slap for being an absolute ass.

"Cat, what a lovely pendant you're wearing," Vanessa says.

I'm holding the wine glass in my right hand and my left hand flutters over my pendant.

"Thank you."

"I've never seen you wear it before, it's beautiful, unique. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. The gems are brilliant. It's almost as if they're staring at you."

Vanessa should know, she specializes in gems, she helps run her family's jewelry boutique and their clientele is some of the wealthiest people in and around New York. Everyone turns to look at my pendant and Nick looks directly at me. I feel the heat rise slowly up my cheek, I'm not sure if it's the wine or the fact that while everyone else is looking at my pendant, Nick's looking at me and I don't have to turn around to know he's watching every move I make. "Yes, it's exactly like that," I say.

I smile and Jay is the first to ask the question I knew was coming next.

"It's a show stopper all right, where did you get it?"

"It was a gift on my sixteenth birthday."

Chris says, "I don't remember seeing you wear it before. Mom and Dad bought you that for your sixteenth birthday? Mom does have an eye for fine jewelry."

Kate agrees, "Yes, she does. She likes her jewelry to be one of a kind and it's often expensive. If only Dad could stop her from adding to her collection of trinkets as he likes to call them."

We all laugh because my dad has tried many times to stop her. "That's why Vanessa is her dream daughter-in-law." I take a sip of my wine and clear my throat. "Mom and Dad didn't buy me this exquisite pendant." That's when my so-called friend with the strawberry blond hair chimes in.

"Well, who was it?"

She knows damn well who bought it! She's the first person I called when he gave it to me. Vanessa leans over and looks at it again.

"May I?"

"Yes." She touches my pendant and looks at it in the light before she lets it go.

"Well, whoever it was must have really cared about you; you don't buy a piece of jewelry like that for just anyone. They say aquamarine brings peace and calm to its owner, relieving stress and enhancing intuition. Crystal healers use them to harmonize diseased areas of the body. Sailors used to consider them a lucky stone; they carried them to keep them safe at sea."

I don't know if I should tell them. If I don't tell them, I'll make it seem like a big deal and I know they're going to find out. It's not a secret, but before I can answer, in a clear I-don't-care-who-knows voice, Nick says,

"I bought it."

I turn and look at him. He's looking at me like I'm the only one in the room and I like it when he looks at me like that. All eyes look at him and I hope they don't notice the way he's looking at me. Chris looks at Nick and then at me.

"When did you have time between your school load, partying, and all the girls you were juggling?" he asks Nick.

"I made time. Like Vanessa said, you don't buy a gift like that for just anyone."

Jay looks at me and then at Nick. He looks serious now, big brother serious.

"Oh yeah?"

Nick looks directly at Jay. "Oh yeah. She's your little sister but we sort of grew up together and she was like my little sister once too."

It's getting a little intense. This is the last thing I need; my family questioning me about my relationship with Nick when there is nothing going on and he's engaged to Kate.

"Chris, Jay, and Nick, the three of them, I felt like I had three overprotective brothers instead of two," I say, trying to interject humor in my voice when Ava finally finds her voice to help me out.

"I couldn't even set us up on a double date whenever I came to New York. We could scarcely get a kiss from our dates after they were interrogated and intimidated by these two giants." Ava gives Chris a wink and one of her hundred-watt smiles no man could resist. Except for Chris who's looking at her like a child he's trying to be patient with.

"You two should thank us; some of the guys you were setting my sister up with were kind of shady. They weren't known for their high moral standards when it came to girls," Chris says.

"They weren't that bad. They didn't do anything to us we didn't want them to do," Ava says.

All eyes on us, Vanessa and Kate are looking at us with an amused look on their faces.

Kate says, "Really!"

"Do tell!" Vanessa says at the same time as Kate.

Now the guys are staring at us like we're guilty of something. I have to laugh and shake my head a little when I lean in over the table. This is like old times; my brothers trying to protect my innocence. If they only knew how I lost my innocence to one of their friends. "There is nothing to tell, relax, guys, and soon to be brother-in-law." Ooh, that earned me a stern look from the man sitting next to me and his fiancée. "Nothing happened, those guys were perfect gentlemen. Speaking for myself, not Ava who's misleading you."

"That's 'cause I told them, 'don't let us have to break your legs for trying anything with my sister,'" Chris says.

"I can't believe you did that."

"Damn right we did. You're welcome," Nick says taking a drink from his glass.

"I wasn't thanking you, Nick. That's the reason I could hardly get a date in high school let alone a second one from those guys."

Vanessa points to each of the guys at the table. "This is why I'm glad I didn't have brothers in high school. I was a little firecracker way back in the day before I met Jay."

Putting her hand on Nick's arm, Kate smiles at me. "They were never this overprotective with me. But I wasn't the baby of the family like Cat is. We have to protect her from wolves in sheep's clothing; right, babe?"

Nick barely looks at her when he says, "Yeah." He doesn't take his eyes off me.

I notice they've hardly talked to each other or touched since we've been here. That's Ava's cue to stir the pot with Kate, accent and all.

"Well, honey, thank God you don't have to do that anymore. She's a full-grown woman with a body and a face that'll make a man want to touch."

"I know she's an adult now, but she will always be our little sister and naturally we will always want to protect her to keep her from getting hurt by the wrong kind of men," Kate says.

"What kind of men or man would that be, Kate?"

She couldn't help herself, could she? She held out as long as she could without starting trouble. I hold my hand up to stop an argument. "She's talking in general, there is no man or men I need protecting from. I've only been back for one day."

Kate takes a deep breath, sits up straight and gives Ava a tight smile. "That's what I was saying, men in general."

"If you ask me, I wouldn't push too hard on that whole protection thing. Forbidden fruit is the sweetest; you might bring the wolf to the door, Kate."

"Well, I didn't ask you! I'm just trying to look out for my little sister. That's what family does for each other." No one pays attention to the sharp tone in her voice because Ava and Kate have always been like this.

Ava grabs Kate's hand catching her by surprise. "That's good to know, sisters should have each other's backs. Consider me part of the sister circle. Cat and I are like sisters and I have her back all the way. It's a good thing she has sisters like us, isn't it?" Like she's been bit by a rattle snake, Kate snatches her hand back.

I think the wine is getting to me. I'm on my fourth glass now. I giggle at the scene in front of me. The man I've wanted since I was thirteen is now engaged to my sister, who's sitting next to my best friend. They can't stand each other and they never will. Hopefully, my brothers won't start looking at me sideways like, "you have feelings for your sister's fiancé?"

He was my man first; at least he was in my mind. Finally, I see the waiter with the damn check. About time, I was ready to leave this dinner party before I walked in the door.

I drove back home with Chris, I didn't feel like talking. The ride home was pretty quiet. Chris thought I was tired and that I had a little too much to drink. It was easier for me to let him think that. I think he knows something's up but he's not going to say anything until I say something to him, unlike Jay who'll come right to me and say it. That's the way it's always been between us; he waits until I'm ready to come to him then he gives it to me straight no matter how hard the truth may be for me to hear.

The clock on my night stand says eleven thirty. After I wash the makeup off my face I take my shower and pull my hair back in a ponytail. I put on my dark blue tank top and blue cotton shorts. I try to lie down on my bed, it's a little early for me to go to bed especially when I'm thinking about Nick. I'm not as upset with him as I was when we first got to Blue. How can I be? I'm still a little buzzed from the wine, lying in bed thinking about his eyes, his smile, and those lips.

I've thought about those lips touching mine many times over the years right here on this bed, not to mention all the other places I would like him to touch. I need to stop. I waited too long, I missed my chance and I can't really be mad at him. He never promised me anything. I've been gone for four years, and I shouldn't expect to come back and find him single waiting to welcome me home with open arms. I should leave that fantasy in the movies and sappy romance novels. But at least he could have had the decency to tell me he was seeing my fucking sister, I deserved at least that. He would have told me about any other woman he was dating. I wouldn't expect Kate to tell me, we never had conversations about the guys we were dating.

"Buzz."

My cell phone is still on vibrate. I reach over and pick it up. "Speak of the devil." He sent me a text.

Nick:

Thinking about me? ;-)

Cat:

No! :-|

Nick:

Liar. :-)

Cat:

How did you know I was awake?

Nick:

Easy, I know you never go to sleep early but you like to wake up early. If you sleep later than 8:30a.m., you feel like half the day has passed you by and it was wasted.

He's right, damn him.

Cat:

For your information, that was the old me. I've started going to bed early since I've started my exercise regime.