Impossible (19 page)

I placed a hand on Ash’s shoulder and she jumped. “Why don’t you go home? I’ll call you later.”

Ash nodded and, without meeting my momma’s eyes, said, “Bye, Mrs. Byron.”

Momma’s lips twitched. “Bye, Ashton. It was nice seeing you.”

Ash was too ashamed to notice, but there was a hint of laughter in Momma’s voice. Without another word, she walked out of the kitchen at a hurried pace, leaving me alone with Momma. The front door shut as I was pulling on my shirt.

There was no way I was going to say anything, so while I waited for Momma to make the first move, I picked up the fruit bowl and filled it with the scattered bananas and apples.

I was in the process of straightening up the newspapers when Momma spoke. “What on earth is going on with you two?”

Momma sat down at the kitchen table and I joined her, resting my head on my arms. “I have no idea what you mean.”

“Don’t give me that nonsense, Luca. You and Ashton were just lying half naked on my kitchen counter. I think I deserve some sort of an explanation. You two barely acknowledged the other for seven years and then, all of a sudden, Ashton is over here every other day. Not that I’m complaining. I love that girl like my own.” Momma was trying her hardest not to smile and I realized she was actually happy about Ash and me
reconnecting
again.

She sounded a lot like the old Momma that I’d known as a child. The one who actually had her train of thought back and was able to have a conversation without getting that faraway look in her eyes.

Letting out a deep breath, I met Momma’s warm hazel eyes. “I really wish I knew, Momma. She’s so hot and cold, like she doesn’t even know what she wants. One minute she’s into another guy and the next minute she’s…we’re…you know.”

“You two are playing a dangerous game with each other. One of you is going to get hurt if you keep this up.”

I sighed and let Momma’s words sink in. She was right. If we kept playing this game with each other and avoiding the real issue, things were going to end up being a lot worse than they’d been before we’d started talking again.

I had to fix things with her. And fast.

Ashton

My phone rang and I didn’t need to look at the glowing screen to know who it was. It was the eighth call I’d ignored from Luca that night, not to mention the numerous texts he’d sent me.

The latest one flashed across the screen and I glanced at it.

Answer ur phone goddammit!!

I pushed my phone away and curled up into a ball on my bed. I felt horrible for ignoring Luca, but I didn’t know what to say to him after what’d happened between us that afternoon. All I knew was that Luca had been angry and upset and I’d wanted to be close to him, the way we’d been when we were kids. For some reason, my body had wanted a little more and before I knew what was happening, I’d started kissing him.

I couldn’t blame him this time. It had been all me.

The most humiliating part was when Luca’s mom had walked in. What if she told my mom? I’d never hear the end of it. Mom was already a little obsessed with setting me and Luca up. She’d have a field day if she found out and then she’d give me the cringe-worthy sex talk. Yeah, I really didn’t wanna go there.

Then there was Luca. Oh lord no. Did this mean that I was attracted to him? That I wanted him just like I wanted Oliver? Did this mean I was a slut? If Mrs. Byron hadn’t walked in, I don’t know when we would’ve stopped. Would we have stopped? Would we have had sex?

This was supposed to be a fake relationship. We weren’t really supposed to do all the things that a boyfriend and girlfriend did.

That’s why I couldn’t talk to Luca. I didn’t know what my own feelings for him were. I didn’t want to see him or be alone with him. I was worried that the same thing would happen again. I didn’t want Luca to get the wrong idea about us. There could be nothing between us.

The phone rang again and I sighed. Seriously, Luca needed to stop calling me. Wasn’t it obvious that I didn’t want to talk to him?

I glanced at the screen and my heart stopped. It wasn’t Luca calling this time.

It was Oliver.

With a start, I sat up and grabbed the phone off the bedside table. Why was Oliver calling me? I’d only seen him a few hours ago. Had I left something in his car without realizing it?

“H-hello?” I frowned at the quake in my voice and cleared my throat.

“Hey, Ash?”

My heart leapt at the sound of his voice, and I tried to compose myself. “Yes, who’s this?” I was trying to act indifferent—play it cool. Oliver would want me more if I played hard to get. He’d want what he couldn’t have. He would get a thrill out of trying to get a girl who was with another guy. Especially if that guy was Luca.

“It’s Oliver.” He sounded thrown off by my question. “Uh…I just wanted to say hi.”

“Oh, hi, Oliver. I didn’t recognize your voice.” Lies. All lies. I dreamt about that voice. “What can I do for you?”

“Did you…uh…think about whether or not you’re coming out to the bonfire?” He sounded nervous which surprised me. Normally Oliver was slick and full of charm. I wonder what was up with him.

Trying to keep the eagerness from my voice, I managed to sound indifferent. “I talked to Luca about it and we’ll probably make it if nothing else comes up.”

“Oh.
He’s
coming too?” The scorn in his voice wasn’t hard to miss. When guys got jealous, it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Yeah, we’re trying to see if we’re going to be a serious thing or not. I mean, he is the most talked about guy at the moment, so I want to be seen with him. You know how it is.” I wanted Oliver to know that Luca and I had a thing, but that it was only casual. If he thought things were serious then there was a chance he could lose interest.

“Right. That’s…nice.” His voice was tense. “So, did you…need a ride to school tomorrow since he totally ditched you this afternoon?”

My heartbeat sped up and I tried my hardest not to burst into squeals. Oliver Carson was asking me if he could drive me to school! This was not happening!

I took a deep breath, trying to regain some sort of composure. “Well, if you want to. I mean, Luca usually drives me, but if you’re going the same way…”

“Yeah, yeah, cool. I can do that,” Oliver said quickly. A little too quickly.

I smiled. “So, what about you and Kance? Won’t she be pissed off if you drive me to school?”

“We got into a fight this afternoon. I’m done with her.”

Delight bubbled within me, threatening to spill out. I tried not to sound too overjoyed, but it was getting pretty hard to suppress my feelings. “That’s a shame, but if you two aren’t dating anymore then I guess it’s fine if you pick me up.”

“Okay, awesome.” Oliver sounded relieved that I hadn’t rejected him. “I’ll pick you up at eight.”

We hung up and I leaned against my bedhead, holding the phone to my chest. The last few minutes seemed like they were from a dream. Oliver was interested in me and he actually wanted to be seen with me, despite Kance’s attempts to ostracize me. Things were changing quicker than I’d expected and it was all because of Luca.

With a sigh, I peeked through a gap in my blinds at Luca’s window. He wasn’t anywhere in sight, so I let the blinds fall back into place. I couldn’t talk to him. I couldn’t face what had happened between us because I was too scared it would happen again.

***

Somehow, I managed to avoid Luca for the rest of the week. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded either. In history, he’d tried to corner me after class, but I’d managed to slip out of the room and join Bennett who was walking past at that moment. Bennett had started talking to me again, but I still wasn’t over what he’d done to me. It was something I couldn’t forgive him for.

As for Kance, she was still keeping her distance from me. There was malevolence in her eyes every time we happened to make eye contact that sent a shiver down my spine. She wasn’t the kind of girl to take things quietly and it seemed as though she was biding her time, like a coiled serpent waiting to strike. I’d started hanging out with Yuki and Kendall who were both interested in Luca, and happy to know that my relationship with him hadn’t gone anywhere. I’d given Yuki his address and the both of them had gone over to Luca’s on Thursday after school to watch him rehearse with his band.

Luca hadn’t tried to call me or text again.

Friday was the bonfire and the one day that I couldn’t ignore Luca. After Oliver dropped me off at home—with the promise to pick me up so we could go to the bonfire together—I headed over to Luca’s house around five. His car was in the driveway, but his momma’s was nowhere in sight. I’d seen her, presumably, leave for work about twenty minutes ago and decided that this was the best time to go over there and hash it out with Luca.

I was going to tell him that tonight would be the last time that I needed him to pretend there was something going on between us. It had to be convincing enough to push Oliver into my arms. All week Oliver had taken me to and from school, but apart from some innocent flirting, there hadn’t been any major developments. I needed to kick it up a notch.

Hesitating on Luca’s front porch, I finally gathered up the courage to ring the doorbell. Five minutes passed before I heard a noise on the other side, and Luca finally opened up the door.

“What?” He fixed me with a cold look as he stepped outside.

This wasn’t going to be easy. “I need to talk to you.”

“So, when you wanna talk I have to listen to you, but when I wanna talk, you ignore me for days?”

I sighed and tried my best puppy dog expression on him. His cold exterior didn’t crumble one little bit. “I’m sorry about that, okay? I just…didn’t know how to act around you.”

“Whatever.” He folded his arms across his chest. “I’m over it.” I knew he was lying, but I didn’t press the issue further. “What do you want now?”

“The bonfire’s tonight,” I began. “I need you to be there. Oliver seems to want to make a move, but he’s holding back for some reason. I want to make him jealous without going overboard.”

“Ah, so you’ve found another way to use me. I guess I should just drop everything and come do your bidding, oh great one.”

“Luca, you have to do this for me.” I didn’t want to beg, but if that’s what it was going to take, then I’d do it.

“I don’t have to do anything. Friends don’t use each other the way you used me. I’m done with this whole thing. I’m through playing around and lying to my friends about us.” The steel edge in his voice weakened my resolve and I took a step back.

“Fine.” I looked back at him with determined eyes. “If you can’t do this for me then we’re through. I could care less so…” My voice trailed off and I stared behind him in surprise.

“Hey, Ashton,” Yuki said with a bright smile, placing a hand on Luca’s shoulder. “Are you coming back in, Luca? It’s lonely without you.” She giggled and batted her eyes at him.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec,” Luca said, his face relaxing a little as he gave her a smile.

My insides froze as I watched their exchange. It had only been three days since Luca and I had nearly had sex on his kitchen counter and he had already moved on. With Yuki of all people! That airhead didn’t know the difference between her left and her right.

Yuki grinned and winked at me. “I’ll see you at the bonfire, Ash.” She turned and went back inside the house.

“So, you and Yuki, huh?” There was controlled fury in my voice. I didn’t know why I was so angry. I mean, I didn’t care who Luca slept with. It wasn’t like he meant anything to me. Still, there was a dull ache in my chest that made me nauseous. “You don’t waste any time, do you?”

Luca’s eyebrows shot up and he took a step towards me, his expression pained. “Ash, wait…”

“No!” I stepped out of his reach and backed off the porch. “I’m really happy for you, Luca. Really, I am. I hope the two of you have a great life together.”

With that, I began storming across his front yard and down the driveway. My vision was blurry and it took me a second to realize that tears were fuzzing up my eyesight. Why was I crying? Why did it matter? I didn’t care what he did, or who he did it with. I didn’t…

I tripped at the end of the driveway and felt the ground rush towards me. Before I could brace myself for the impact, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and righted me.

“Luca, get off me!” I thrashed wildly in his arms, wanting to get as far away from him as I could.

I didn’t want his sympathy. I didn’t want him to comfort me. I just wanted distance.

“Ash, calm down. It’s me.” The voice wasn’t Luca’s, but it belonged to someone familiar.

My eyes cleared up and I saw Eddie standing in front of me, his face filled with concern. I hastily wiped a hand across my eyes in a pathetic attempt to hide the tears. I was pretty certain I looked like an ugly raccoon. “I’m so sorry for hitting you. I thought you were…”

“You thought I was Luca,” Eddie rustled through his pockets and pulled out a tissue which he handed me. Examining the tissue and finding that it looked relatively clean, I mumbled a thanks and dabbed at my eyes with it.