Impossible Glamour (24 page)

“I think it’s better if I go alone,” I said.

Webber’s eyebrows creased. “I don’t know, babe, I think he might see that as me not being committed or me not caring. I say we go all in. Full force. A frontal attack with both of us there standing firm together.”

I shook my head. “No,” I whispered. “I…I need to do this by myself.” I grabbed my bag and called Drummond to my side. I didn’t know how long this discussion would take with Daddy.

“This isn’t what I want,” Webber said, trailing me and Drummond to the front door. “I want to go with you.”

I turned to him and pressed my lips to his. “I know. I love you for that.” I wanted him to understand; he needed to understand. “Okay?”

“I’m here, Ellen. Call me. I can be there in fifteen minutes. Got it?”

“Got it,” I said. I opened Webber’s front door and Drummond ran to my car. Webber stood in the doorway. My heart twisted and I watched Webber in my rearview mirror as Drummond and I drove away.

*

Drummond tippity-tapped across the marble atrium of Daddy’s house and plopped down in the center with a satisfied groan. He loved to lie on the cool marble and seemed to always choose the same spot. I walked through the atrium and turned into the family room. Daddy paced in front of the bar with a highball glass in his hand. A bottle of bourbon was on the bar.

My fingers tingled. Daddy angry was never good, but Daddy drunk and angry was even worse.

“Daddy,” I said softly. “Not sure that drinking right now is a good idea.”

He spun toward me and anger creased his face. “Since when did you get your MD?”

I swallowed my words. Yep, drunk and angry. He took a long sip of his booze and then sidled up to the bar and refilled his glass. “Seems you’ve been too busy keeping secrets to concentrate on med school.”

“Daddy—”

“No, please. Ellen. No. Why the hell am I hearing all kinds of things from all these other people that I should be hearing from you?”

His voice was harsh and his speech was without the crispness of sobriety.

“What kind of things, Daddy?” I walked to the far end of the bar and stood. I braced myself for what was coming. This wouldn’t be good and it wouldn’t be kind, but I’d witnessed this anger directed at all my siblings except me.

“You…you aren’t going to be a surgeon.”

I swallowed. Heat burned the backs of my eyes.

“Who told you that?” I whispered.

“Who? Who told me that? Dean Talbot told me that when I called to speak to her about the capital contribution I make every year. Seems this Kazowski person doesn’t think you can handle the pressure.”

I dropped my gaze. Maybe she was right. Maybe Kazowski was correct. I was academic and slow to make a decision. “She seems to think that I’m indecisive,” I said. “That I’m not quick enough on my feet and that it could be a liability in the operating room.”

“Bullshit,” Daddy yelled. He slammed his glass onto the bar. “That is complete and utter bullshit and was not a problem until recently, right?”

“Daddy, I just started the rotation a couple of months ago and—”

“About the same time you started sleeping with Webber Connor?”

My heart catapulted in my chest. Relationships, his or mine, weren’t something we discussed. The anger, the heat in his voice, nearly caused me to step back.

My gaze met his. “Daddy, that’s not really any of your business.”

His clouded eyes went from anger to full outrage.

“What the hell did you just say?” His voice was deadly calm. A calm that sent a thrill of terror up my spine and deep into my belly. His eyebrows creased. “Did you just say that my daughter, my brilliant daughter, fucking my low-life former motion picture agent is none of my business?”

“What do you mean former?”

“You don’t think I’m going to keep him if he’s screwing you, do you? You are off-limits. Did you not know this? You are my brilliant daughter, not some plaything for Webber Conner to use and abuse and then toss aside.” He took a long gulp of his booze. “And believe me, doll, he will toss you aside, because that’s what agents do. That’s what people in this Industry do.”

“Including you,” I said, my voice low but filled with a heat I didn’t even know existed within me.

“Excuse me?”

“You, Daddy. Isn’t that what
you
do? The million models, the actresses, the housekeepers…” The final word tripped out of my mouth before I even realized what I’d said.

Daddy stopped just in front of me, booze on his breath, his face red with rage. Anger thrummed off him. “Did you just disrespect your mother?”

“No, Daddy,” I said my tone even and my gaze locked with his. “I think you did. For the past thirty years. I don’t think you, of all people, should have the privilege of dispensing relationship advice. Not to me. Not to anyone.”

“Where is he? Where is this man you think is so important that you’d throw away everything that I’ve given you?”

“You gave me? What are you talking about? Daddy, I gave those grades to myself. I’ve worked for years to get where I am. Your name might have opened doors for Amanda, and Sterling, and Sophia, and Rhett, but your name did not get me the scores on all my tests, or my degrees, or the fact that I am number one in my class. Don’t do this, Daddy. Don’t pretend for one minute that you gave me my success, because I gave that to myself.”

“And now you’re willing to throw it away?” His hand jerked and bourbon sloshed over the edge of his glass. “For Webber Conner? Webzie? The Webz? For fuck’s sake, Ellen. Your value, your brains, just you, why the hell would you settle for anyone in this fucked-up Industry that the rest of your family is in?”

“Because I love him, Daddy. I really do love him.”

“Love? There’s no such thing as love, aside from what you feel for your children. There is lust and there is companionship, and there is loving your kids, but for men? We’re not capable of loving one woman. Don’t you know that by now? After watching me?”

“You don’t love Mama?” I couldn’t help it, my heart hurt with his words. I’d always hoped, even believed, that Mama held a special place in his heart. That she’d managed to carve out a space untouched by his debauchery and sexual addictions.

“I adore your mother. It’s the longest-lasting relationship I’ve had in my life. I do love her, I will love her for forever, but that love that I have for your mother isn’t enough. That kind of love isn’t enough for any man. Don’t you get it, doll? We’re all a bunch of randy pricks who can’t ever be with only one woman.”

His words pounded into my chest. “Then what about Amanda and Sophia and—”

“They’re in love, they’ve made the best matches that they can, but doll—” He reached out and touched my cheek. “Doll, you are so much more than they are. Your future holds everything. You can go anywhere and do anything. With that brain of yours dancing in that head. You can take the Legend name and really make it into something special. You could change the world, save it. Your sisters aren’t ever going to do that. You, doll, can’t be saddled with a man. You need to be free for a very long time so you can concentrate on you and what you want. Your success, the Legend name’s success. Not Webber Connor and Big Boy.”

My breath hitched in my chest.

“Oh, doll, don’t think for a moment every person in town doesn’t know that Webber calls his schmeckel Big Boy and where Big Boy has been.” He sipped his drink. “And Big Boy, babe, has been nearly everywhere.”

I closed my eyes. I’d guessed as much, maybe even feared it, but Webber and I…we had something special, didn’t we? I was angry that Daddy’s words caused doubt to creep into my mind.

“Besides, after the conversation I just had with Jeff at CTA, you’re not going to want to be associated with Webber Connor, because, babe, that guy is going to be persona non grata. Once I’m done with him, he’ll be lucky if he can find a job as a cabana boy. He definitely will not be working in this town.” Daddy’s words slurred and his right eyelid hung down over his eye, a sure sign he was nearing the end of this drunk.

“You’re going to have Webber fired? For dating me?”

“Babe, I’m going to have him pulverized unless…”

“Unless what?”

Daddy’s eyes were suddenly sharp and his gaze narrowed. “Unless you stop seeing him.”

My heart lurched in my chest. “What? What do you mean, stop seeing him?”

“Exactly what I just said doll. You stop seeing him and Webber gets everything he wants. He gets that book series optioned, he gets his partnership, he gets his fast track to being the hottest agent in town, he gets to keep his Mom in the best style imaginable, he even gets to keep me.” Another drink of Daddy’s booze, and then he pointed his glass at me. “But you, he doesn’t get you. And I mean it. Starting this very minute. You don’t call him. You don’t text him. You don’t see him, you definitely don’t fuck him, and the deal is closed. You’re honorable, Ellen. I trust you. You tell me right here, right now, that you’ll stop seeing Webber and he’ll get everything he ever wanted, except you.”

*

Don’t text me. Don’t call me. Don’t ever contact me again. If you ever loved me, Webber, you’ll do exactly what I ask.

Ellen

Webber

“My brother, how does it feel to be the youngest partner ever at CTA? Pretty damn sweet, right? Especially since you nearly lost it all. Just wait until you get that first paycheck, man, that will cheer you up. Damn, nothing like dollars to make a man feel right with the world.” Jeff slapped me on the back.

I barely felt it. Numb. Completely and totally and utterly numb. For a week I’d done what she wanted. My gut churned. My sleep disappeared. I showered, but only because I had to go to the office. The office was the only thing that kept me from locking myself in my house, and if I locked myself in my house, who would check on Mom? So two things. There were two things pulling me along, dragging me into the world. One was the responsibility to my clients the other was the fact that I loved Mom.

And hope.

Was there hope?

Could there be?

No. He’d gotten to her. He’d threatened her. Steve-o had convinced Ellen that I wasn’t worthy of her and really there wasn’t a whole lot of convincing to be done. Even I knew that I wasn’t worthy of Ellen Legend. No one was worthy of Ellen Legend, at least no one that I knew and especially not me. Maybe some guy who fixed the environment and saved the seals from dying, but not me, an agent schlepping scripts and selling actors and making movies.

“Boss, this just came for you.” Dick Munch skirted into my office with a giant bouquet, a box of cigars, and a magnum of Veuve.

“From?” I couldn’t even get excited. Would I ever get excited again? I felt dead inside, utterly and completely dead.

“Steve,” Dick Munch said. “Want me to get him on the line?”

“Nope.”

Dick Munch’s eyebrows creased. What I really wanted to do was throw the magnum against the wall, rip up the fucking flowers, and stomp on the Cohibas.

“Okaaay.” He glanced from me to Jeff.

“Dude, you need to tell me which office you want on the partner floor. We’ve got two. Go pick out your real estate and then call Kelly so she can start decorating your digs.”

“Right,” I said. There was no joy in Mudville because the mighty Webzie had struck out. Or the fucking biggest man in the Industry had won and gotten just what he wanted, his daughter focused on school and not on a low-life agent like me.

“Okay, man, partnership meeting next week. See you there.” Jeff pointed two fingers at me like pistolas and exited my office.

“That guy is a complete douche,” I muttered under my breath.

“That guy just multiplied your salary by ten,” Dick Munch said.

“Bullshit, okay. I did that. With my work and my client list and all this fucking bullshit that I deal with every damn day. I’ve devoted my fucking life to this place. I did this.” I slammed my hand into a pile of scripts and they slammed against the wall.

“Dude, okay. Whatever. Take a Xanax. These are high-class problems. You’ve wanted this partnership for years. What the fuck, man? You finally get what you want and now you don’t want it?” Dick Munch slammed out of my office.

Fuck yeah. Because there was someone I wanted more.

Ellen

“Dr. Kazowski has reconsidered her stance.” Dean Talbot sat behind her desk and handed me a piece of paper. My eyes skimmed the words. This was a glowing recommendation from Dr. Kazowski. My surgery rotation had ended a week before, and not on a good note, Kazowski riding my ass to the bitter end.

“What? Why would she do this?” I squinted at Dean Talbot.

“She’s reached out to John’s Hopkins in Maryland. She believes that will be the best fit for you as far as a surgical residency. Of course official matches won’t take place until next year, but I do believe that once you interview and with your exemplary academic record, and my recommendation and Dr. Kazowski’s, that you should receive a match from one of the top five programs in the country.” A smile spread over her face. “Congratulations, Ellen, your hard work did pay off.”

I reread the words on the letter of recommendation. It was if Kazowski was writing about someone completely different. Not me, not after how she’d treated me and what she’d said to me and about me for the past three months.

“I…I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say.” Dean Talbot stood from behind her desk and wrapped her arm around me. “Congratulations. You are the pride of our program. I knew you could work through the challenges that were facing you to get what you wanted. I knew it. And you did. You absolutely did.” We walked to her office door and out into the hall.

“Congratulations, you got exactly what you deserved.”

Dean Talbot’s words rang in my ears as I walked down the hall and away from my office. This victory felt hollow. Why had Kazowski changed her mind? What caused her to write this glowing letter of recommendation? To reach out to her contacts on my behalf at the premiere surgical residencies in the country? And why wasn’t I happier about this victory? Wasn’t this what I wanted? What I’d worked for my entire life? What I had sacrificed to have? All I’d ever wanted was to be a surgeon…wasn’t it?