Authors: Susanne Winnacker
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Mysteries & Detective Stories, #Fantasy & Magic, #Social Issues, #Adolescence, #Paranormal, #Speculative Fiction Suspense
Ronald was a vet and I didn’t even have to pretend to be interested in his stories from work, which were truly hilarious. He took a gulp of his root beer. “Today a cat peed all over me.” Linda paused with her fork against her lips, eyebrows raised. A piece of chicken got stuck in my throat and I had to wash it down with water. “What happened?”
“A monster of a Persian cat, that’s what happened. Hercules.” He snorted into his glass. “He isn’t one of my usual patients. His owner rented a vacation bungalow in Manlow.” He took another swallow of his root beer and relaxed into his chair. “Anyway, the cat’s fur was matted because he doesn’t like to be brushed, and unfortunately he had a serious case of diarrhea. And with all that fur?” Ronald chuckled. I put down my fork, trying not to giggle. I’d probably end up choking on the chicken.
“Shitty work, I guess,” Devon said, with mock seriousness. He pushed another spoonful of casserole into his mouth. I wondered how he managed to chew with that big grin on his face.
“You got it. So Sarah was holding the cat like she always does and everything was going fine until I started the clipper to get rid of the fur. Hercules didn’t like the sound, not one bit, and went berserk. Got his shit all over myself just trying to restrain him.” Another bite of chicken casserole disappeared into Devon’s mouth. Linda pushed her plate away; her eyes were narrowed but the corners of her lips trembled in an effort to hide a smile.
“And then he started peeing everywhere! You’d think the cat consisted of nothing but urine judging by how much he got all over me.”
I coughed between giggles.
“You couldn’t wait with that story until we were done eating?” Linda asked with a shake of her head, but she was clearly amused.
Ronald took her hand on the table top. “Sorry. Next time.”
Linda sighed as if she’d heard those words before. She stood and began gathering up the plates from the dinner table. I rose to help her, but she shook her head. “Today’s my turn.”
Devon slumped in his chair, his arms crossed over his stomach. Even with half the chicken casserole inside him, his abs still formed tight ripples beneath his shirt. I looked away.
“Devon, how was school today?” Ronald asked, with a worried glance in my direction. I’d wondered when that question would come up. I knew Major expected me to gather as much local information as possible, but dinner had been too wonderful to ruin with practical questions.
Devon straightened, the lightness slipping off his features. “It was okay. But everyone’s talking.”
Ronald nodded as if he’d expected nothing else.
“It’s the gossip of town.”
“My recovery?” I asked, my hands curling around my knees beneath the table.
“Yeah, they’re all talking about your miraculous recovery. You know how they are. They need their gossip. The entire school knows you’ll be back tomorrow.” Great, so I’d be the focus of everyone’s attention. Just what I needed.
“Honey, you know you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I think it’s still too early anyway,” Linda said, returning to the table. Part of me wanted to give in and spend more time at home, in the presence of Linda’s kind smiles. But Major would rip my head off if I didn’t get my ass into gear soon. He wanted results, and judging by the nothing I’d found so far, I obviously wouldn’t get them by sitting in Madison’s room.
“No, I’m ready to go back,” I said. “I really want to see Ana again.”
“She called every day to ask about you. She even wanted to visit you today but I told her you needed time to settle in,” Ronald said.
I smiled. “Thanks, Dad.” The word still sounded strange coming from my mouth. I’d never called anyone “Dad” before.
Devon leaned forward. “Ryan asked about you today.” Ronald’s forehead furrowed and Linda froze in place.
“What—what did he want?” I asked.
Devon’s face was like stone. “Just wanted to know if it was true, if you were coming back, if you could remember everything and all that shit. I told him to stay the fu—”
Linda interrupted Devon with a cough.
“—to stay away from you,” Devon finished.
“Why did you say that?” I asked.
They exchanged glances.
“You didn’t want anything to do with him after the breakup,” Devon said.
Alarm bells went off in my head.
“Are you sure it won’t all be too much? All the attention?” Linda asked.
“Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll keep an eye on her.” Devon flashed me that grin I’d been on the receiving end of so many times in the last few days. His eyes reminded me of a cloudless summer sky and I loved the deep dimples that appeared each and every time he smiled. Was it pretense or could he really switch his moods so quickly?
“You’re not going to follow me around like a lost puppy, now are you?” I watched their faces for reactions, unsure if Madison had teased her brother like that. Acting out of character would be a dangerous thing, even with pretend amnesia. But they smiled.
“If it annoys you, definitely,” Devon shot back.
Maybe this was how it always used to be when Madison was still with them. She must’ve been so happy.
Linda became serious. She pushed a cell phone over to me. “We bought you a new phone. Your old one was damaged . . .” She trailed off.
“When you had your accident,” Ronald said. “But we were able to save your SIM-card so your messages and your contacts are still there.”
“Thanks.” That would be useful. I’d have to take a closer look at it when I was back in my room, but the police had probably already checked the data, as was usual procedure.
After dinner, I trudged up the stairs, exhausted. I felt as if I’d endured several workout sessions with Alec. Could being in a foreign body cause this kind of muscle ache? I’d never experienced anything like this before but I’d also never been someone else for so long. We hadn’t tested how many weeks or months I could hold the shape of another person’s body. My Variation had never wavered, had always been in my control from day one. To everyone at the FEA, my Variation was perfect. But I knew it wasn’t.
I turned on the phone the moment I was alone. There were dozens of text messages and just as many missed calls from the last few days. I recognized most of the names from the FEA’s files as school mates or family members. But two names stood out: Ana and Ryan. While Ana’s texts could be summarized as well wishes and words of comfort, Ryan’s messages were of a different nature. He, too, said he hoped Madison would get well but he was also desperately trying to get her back.
I miss you . . . I can’t stop thinking of you . . . You’re the most important person in my life . . . Give us another chance . . . I love you.
Eventually, the tiny letters on the screen started blurring in front of my eyes. Getting this glimpse into Madison’s personal life was interesting, but it still left me without any real leads.
As I undressed for bed, I couldn’t stop myself from checking my reflection in the mirror on the door. Back in the hospital I hadn’t gotten the chance to take a good look at this strange body. With shaky fingers I traced the red
A
under my bra. The skin was rough and tender. It didn’t exactly hurt but it was uncomfortable. The scar would never fully fade; the knife had cut too deep.
Hesitantly, I raised my eyes to examine myself. Though I’d gained some weight over the last few days, Madison’s body was still frighteningly thin. But even pale and emaciated, Madison looked pretty with her blue eyes, high cheekbones, and long blond hair. I slipped a nightgown over my head and went to close the blinds, when sudden movement outside the window made me pause.
A figure stood on the other side of the street, clearly watching my window. His hoodie hung low over his eyes and the evening fog obscured the rest of him. It was impossible to make out who he was. Spotting me, he turned and took off running down the street.
It wasn’t Alec. Who was it? The killer? I doubted he had the audacity to show up in front of my house so soon after my return. It was probably just some curious snoop who wanted to have the rumors confirmed.
I rubbed my arms and let down the blinds, double-checking that the window was locked before I finally crawled into bed.
CHAPTER 10
I
woke so early that the sun hadn’t even risen. I lay in bed for a while, my eyes taking in my surroundings, my body throbbing dully. I’d managed to keep Madison’s form overnight. That was probably why I felt so sore. I smiled. If I could keep it up during a full night of sleep, maybe the next few weeks wouldn’t be that difficult after all.
My mind returned to the window stalker from the previous night and goose bumps flashed across my skin. Might it really be the killer or just a local reporter pursuing a good story?
The sound of raised voices downstairs made me bolt upright, but it was impossible to hear what was being said. I slipped out of bed and tiptoed into the hall. The rich fragrance of coffee greeted me. My feet were noiseless on the staircase as I lightly padded downstairs. Linda, Devon, and Ronald were all in the kitchen. I pressed myself against the wall and listened.
“He’s only doing his job. They’ve already interviewed her teachers and friends. At least they waited until she was released from the hospital to contact us. That was very considerate of them,” Linda said. Her voice was calm but it was impossible to miss the tension behind it.
“Considerate? They know she doesn’t remember anything. They’ll only make it worse if they interrogate her,” Devon said, and he was anything but calm. It was hard to believe that the same guy with the permanent grin was capable of sounding so upset.
A moment of silence followed before Ronald’s deep voice sounded. “I don’t like it either. That’s why I told the police they’ll have to wait a few days. But we’re supposed to keep them updated. If Maddy tells us anything, even if it doesn’t seem significant, we have to report it.”
“If they’d done their job, they would have caught him by now. They don’t have a clue. When Sheriff Ruthledge interviewed me, he seemed totally lost. Maddy doesn’t even know what happened to her. If she hears all the details, she’ll be terrified,” Devon said.
“It’s in the newspapers and all over town. There’s no way we could keep it from her. We have to talk to her before school today. There’s no other choice.”
Linda’s sniffing grew louder. “I don’t want her to find out. I don’t want her to go to school or out of this house. I just want to lock her in her room until they catch that monster.” A chair scraped over the floor. I peeked around the corner. Ronald had moved his chair next to Linda’s and was embracing her.
Devon’s face was buried in his hands. “Who’s going to tell her?” he asked, his voice muffled.
Ronald brushed a wisp of hair from Linda’s face before giving a resolute nod. “I will.”
I turned and hurried up the stairs, my insides churning.
• • •
When I entered the kitchen an hour later, Linda didn’t stop fussing, constantly asking if I was sure about going to school, if I felt well, if I’d taken my pills—really placebos that Dr. Fonseca had given me. Ronald looked as anxious as his wife while his gaze followed me from over his coffee cup.
Linda set down a mug in front of me and filled it with coffee. She didn’t say a word, her smile fleeting. In my normal life, I didn’t drink coffee. Had Madison liked her coffee black or with milk and sugar? That hadn’t been in the file. I turned my attention to the plate, giving Ronald time to gather his courage. Linda’s homemade blueberry pancakes melted on my tongue, my fingers becoming sticky with maple syrup. Ronald folded the newspaper, smoothing over the edges. His hands shook. I wiped my fingers on a napkin, knowing what would come.
“There’s something we need to tell you,” he said quietly. Linda and Devon fell silent and may have stopped breathing.
I lowered my eyes, not able to stand the looks on their faces.
“Before you were in the hospital, you didn’t have an accident. Your injuries . . . someone attacked you.” He cleared his throat.
I hesitated. “I know. I overheard the nurses talking about my scars,” I whispered. I lightly touched the bandage on my chest, where the
A
lay concealed beneath it. “Do they know who did it?” I should be nominated for an Oscar.
Linda clutched her coffee pot and Devon glared at the tabletop but it was Ronald who finally shook his head, eyes haunted. “They arrested a homeless man after the first murder but he was in custody when the second murder happened.”
“So they don’t have any suspects?” I asked softly, my voice scared. It didn’t take much of my acting skills to sound that way.
Ronald shook his head.
“And . . . do you suspect anyone?”
“No. You got along so well with everyone,” he said in that adoring fatherly way.
Linda put her hand on mine. “They’ll find him soon. You don’t have to be afraid. Dad and I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“There’s always a police car in front of the school,” Devon added.
They watched my face for a reaction. If I acted terrified, I knew they’d never let me out of their sight. “I’m okay,” I said. “I don’t want to hide. I don’t want to spend my time being scared of something I don’t even remember.”
I could see on their faces that they wanted nothing more than to put the attack behind them, too. If only it were that easy. Finally, Devon spoke.
“We really have to get going or we’ll be late. You’ll be the center of attention today, so walking the halls will take twice as long.” He got up and gathered his car keys and his backpack, waiting for me in the doorway.
My palms felt sweaty at the thought of being under so many people’s scrutiny. It increased the chance of someone noticing I wasn’t who I claimed to be. But it was also my chance to find out more about the murders, about Madison’s friends, and about Ryan. And to try to find, in Major’s words, the chink in the perfect armor that was Madison’s life.
I rose from the table and Linda held my backpack out to me. “Promise me that you’ll always stay with Devon or Ana. Don’t go
anywhere
alone.”
“Okay, Mom.”
Ronald opened a drawer, took something from it, and held it out to me. “Pepper spray, just in case.” I slipped it into my backpack, though I was sure Alec would give me something more effective once we had our first meeting.
I hesitated, not sure what the usual morning routine was. Did Madison hug her parents before she left? Since Devon was watching me expectantly I decided not to rack my brain over it. I followed Devon out of the house toward his car. Ronald and Linda stood in the doorway. I could see on their faces just how much they didn’t want to let me out of their sight, and if it hadn’t been for Major’s impatience, I might have given in and waited a few more days before starting school again.
“Be careful,” Linda called as we got into the car.
I waved to them as we pulled out of the driveway. Devon’s posture grew tense as he drove. Suddenly, it seemed like his calm demeanor was all an act for his parents’ sake. Finally he spoke.
“If anyone’s bothering you, tell me and I’ll talk to them.” His knuckles cracked from his tight grip on the steering wheel.
“When Dad said I got along well with people, I saw you look away,” I said. “What was that about?”
“Nobody gets along with everyone.”
“Do you think the person who . . . hurt me . . . goes to school with us?”
Devon’s expression grew tight. “I don’t know. I’ve thought about it a lot. There are a lot of creeps in school and you always seemed to be drawn to them. First Ryan and then—”
He stopped.
“And then who?”
We parked in the already crowded parking lot beside a gray building that reminded me more of a prison than a school—a three-story building with a flat roof and rows of perfectly uniform square windows. Devon turned the engine off before his eyes searched my face. With a sigh he shook his head and reached for the door handle. I gripped his arm.
“Who? Who were you talking about?”
A knock on the window made my heart jump into my throat. The door opened and a girl with long, curly brown hair and huge brown eyes beamed at me: it was Ana. Her face was familiar. I’d seen her in so many pictures, but sometimes it was difficult to translate those images to real life.
“Ana!” I said.
She wrapped her arms around me and a small tearful hiccup escaped her throat. I had to force my body to go soft at her touch. “I thought you didn’t recognize me.” She stepped back so I could get out of the car and close the door. Her eyes darted to my throat. I should have covered it up with a scarf.
“Of course not. How could I forget you?” I asked.
Devon hovered beside the bumper. His hands rested casually in his pockets but his eyes darted over the parking lot—keeping watch. That’s when I noticed how many eyes were turned toward me, how everyone had stopped doing whatever they’d been doing to stare at me like I’d just risen from the dead.
Devon positioned himself on my left side and Ana sidled up on my right, sandwiching me between them like my personal bodyguards as we made our way toward the front doors. Some people stumbled over their feet because they were gaping and pointing at me. Had their parents never taught them manners? A small part of me wanted to shape-shift to give them the scare of their lives.
“What jerks,” Ana said as we went inside.
The halls weren’t crowded, probably because so many people were standing outside, still whispering among themselves. Were they too shy to approach me? I was welcomed by only a few mildly familiar people whose faces I couldn’t link to a name. They kept glancing at my throat and I could tell they were curious, but thankfully, they didn’t dare to ask. Maybe Devon’s glare was what stopped them.
If I’d really been Madison, would it have bothered me? Would this have hurt my feelings? It was likely, but I wasn’t sure.
“We have biology first,” Ana reminded me.
I’d studied the schedule and even browsed a few of the schoolbooks since I would have to participate in all of Madison’s classes. It was the first time I’d ever been in high school. If the situation was different, I might have enjoyed it. But I was out of my league. I didn’t know the first thing about how to act like a regular student, let alone a senior.
Ana stopped in front of a locker and entered the combination. The lockers were yellow and matched half of the overly cheerful yellow-and-blue checkered tiles on the floor.
“Umm, that’s yours.” Ana pointed at the locker next to hers. A piece of paper stuck out of the gap between the door and the frame. Devon grabbed it before I could react, but I snatched it out of his hand. “That’s for me.”
For a moment, he looked like he wanted to argue. “Who’s it from?” he asked. Ana had stopped rummaging and stared at Devon and me. “Do you know my combination?” I asked, but Devon didn’t let the topic change slip. He reached past me and turned the lock first right, then left, and then again right. He pulled it open and handed me a scrap of paper with the numbers. “Now spill, Maddy.”
People were whispering and watching but no one stood close enough to eavesdrop. Nervously, I unfolded the letter. It was a message from Ryan.
Hey Maddy,
I know you’ll be back today, and I can’t wait to see you. I was so worried about you. Your brother didn’t want to tell me anything. (You know how he is.) But I can’t stay away from you. I miss you.
I need to talk to you. Meet me in the parking lot after school. Please?
Ryan
“No. You’re not meeting him,” Devon said. He’d been reading over my shoulder. “You don’t remember how miserable you were because of him. I won’t let him use your amnesia to get you back.”
I crumpled the letter and chucked it into my locker. “I can take care of myself.”
“Please, just once, listen to me. Stay away from Ryan, at least for a few days until everything is settled.” I gave a reluctant nod and picked up my biology book and a folder. Devon walked Ana and me toward the classroom. “Is Ryan in biology with you guys?”
Ana nodded. “We share most of our classes.”
“I’ll be fine, really. I mean, when did I break up with him?”
“Like two months ago,” Ana said. The first murder happened around that time.
“So it’s been a while. It’ll be fine,” I said. They didn’t look convinced, and who could blame them after reading that letter? “Go,” I urged. With a last glance over his shoulder, Devon jogged to his class.
Ana and I took our seats and a hush fell over the room. This was starting to grate on my nerves. I gave them all a smile to show them I was really alive. If they realized I knew they were staring, they might stop. As if someone had just yelled “action!” the girls gathered around my table and the boys slowly followed.
A tall girl, thin as a stick bug, spoke first. “We’re so happy that you’re back, Madison. People said you were badly injured.” She paused as if she thought I might contradict her.
“We were all really worried. The police questioned us after what happened,” a black-haired girl added. She looked vaguely familiar; I thought her name might have been Stacey.
“It’s incredible how fast you’ve recovered,” Stick Bug said. Her eyes were eager and curious. They hadn’t come to welcome me back. They had come to gather fodder for gossip. I forced myself to focus on their hands (were they fidgeting?), their body language (were they tense or sweating more than usual?), and their expressions (were they too sympathetic, too kind, like they were trying to compensate for their lack of real emotion?). I filed the info away. My eyes darted to the people who had stayed in their seats. Were they feigning uninterestedness in order to seem innocent?
Some people were whispering. One boy with blond hair, pale skin, a narrow face, and a haggard body kept his head down. I couldn’t see his hands but his shoulders were tilted toward his ears as if he hoped to disappear into his seat.
Another girl touched my shoulder. “Does it still hurt?” She pointed at my throat and the boy beside her nudged her. What a stupid question. I shook my head.
“Do you remember anything?” a girl who’d sneaked up behind Stick Bug asked. Her hair was dark as coal and so were her eyes. Suddenly everyone seemed to hold their breath. Ana made a sound that reminded me of a growl. “Shut up, Franny.”
The girl flinched before narrowing her eyes.