Impulse (33 page)
Familiar words I once heard before. Logan’s seduction had lasted longer than any I’d known, making each private moment between us burn hotter than the next. It was so gradual that it smoldered into combustible matter. But his request wasn’t for pleasure. Logan wanted to talk.
He removed his shirt and with a flick of the wrist, it was on the floor. I crawled over the bed and slid up beside him, nuzzling into the crook of his arm. With each shallow breath, I privately enjoyed his natural scent.
“Not close enough,” he murmured, and suddenly pulled me on top of him. Logan was smooth and hard all at once—the feel of his body beneath mine made me relax.
“Tell me what happened with your mother. There was a change in your scent when you brought her up at the table, but no one picked up on it. I did—and I want to know what happened.”
As resilient as I’d been from the tragedies of my life, this was one that proved to be the hardest to overcome. My life. My beginning. From inception, I was nothing but a pawn. My cheek rested against his neck and his short stubble tickled my nose.
“Tell me what pains you.”
“She doesn’t love me; she never did.”
Logan shifted on his side and I rolled off. I’d started to get up when he pulled me back down. We were face to face and he searched my eyes. “Don’t run from me. Is this true?”
“She called me unnatural and admitted that she never wanted children. She’s glad that I’m dead.”
“Where is your other family?”
“There’s no one else that I know of. Mom hooked up with this guy that we think was a Mage and he offered her an exciting life. Who could blame her for packing up and going to Europe? Well, he was just using her. I guess she was an easy target without family because no one would miss her. They started doing tests or experiments of some kind and he left her with the doctors. That’s how I was conceived. The only reason that she kept me was out of fear that he might return, and I would be something to barter for her life or freedom. She knew something was different about him and that’s what made her afraid. I don’t know. I don’t care.”
“That explains it,” Logan muttered.
“Explains what?”
He traced his finger high on my cheekbone. “Why you push people away.”
“Don’t psychoanalyze me!” I protested, struggling to run, but his leg pinned against mine and he held me down.
“It has nothing to do with the male who hurt you—it has nothing to do with men. You fight it so hard and you don’t even know why.”
He blinked softly and I began to listen.
“You grew up without the love of a parent or a sibling to protect and care for you as family should.” As he said this, his cheek nuzzled against mine. “You don’t know the devotion and ultimate sacrifice that family can offer to those they cherish—to know the safety it brings and how that devotion is unbreakable. It frightens you to be anchored to someone because you don’t know if they’ll always be there.”
There it was—the hollowness of my life. It’s why I doubted Justus, because the only thing that tied him to me was legal obligation. I was spent, and my weary eyes closed.
“Silver, look at me.”
I refused him without words.
He gripped my face angrily. “Look. At. Me.”
How could I look at anyone in the eye again now that they all knew how my life began and how nothing about my place in this world made sense? The enormity of lies that made up my life had swallowed me whole.
“They’re
your
brothers, not mine.”
His angered words heated my cheek. “Female, open your eyes or I’m going to get some toothpicks to widen your view and we’re going to look at each other all night.”
I involuntarily laughed and looked up.
“They are bound to you by my claim. You will know the love of family through my brothers.”
“And what about Tarek’s brothers; where were they to protect Katrina?”
“They disowned him for what he did to her and it stayed a family secret. She didn’t want it made public and they respected her request. I made a vow to her that I would never challenge Tarek to the death for her honor; she didn’t want me to die because of her.”
“Sounds familiar,” I said.
“We have a hierarchy, ruled by Lords. Tarek is in a position to become Lord of his Pride when there is an open challenge. As the eldest, he retains the right, as Leo does among our Pride.”
“Are the Lords your fathers?”
“No. Each Pride has a group of families that are among the most respected, powerful, and strongest. Only the eldest can claim the title in an open challenge against others. The position is not automatically handed to the son of the Lord. Should he want the title, he’ll have to challenge for it like everyone else.”
Logan fell on his back and continued. “I must be honest with you,” he said with a nervous shift in his voice.
There was a thoughtful stretch of silence and Logan rubbed the misery out of his face.
“My father worked for HALO. He was the one who betrayed the order. My brothers and I still believe that he was in the right; he made accusations of a financial scandal among important people without enough evidence. Nothing was ever proven and as a result, my father’s good name was ruined.”
Logan ran his hand several times up and down his bare chest as he stared at the ceiling. No doubt the Cross family suffered for the persecution of their father.
“Justus knew him?” I asked in disbelief.
“I never met Justus when all that transpired. Our father didn’t discuss his business with HALO. We respect the organization because they’re independent from any law and comprised of many Breeds. The Mageri was only recently formed in the past two hundred years or so and usually have their own agenda.”
“Actually, they were around longer than that,” I corrected, remembering the passages from the books I studied. “But they didn’t have as much control because we were too spread out. That’s when they formed the Councils.”
“Forgive me if I don’t find your government impressive.”
“So you’ve got a bunch of Lords a leaping?” I pinched him to lighten his mood. “Tell me more.”
“What happens if you find out that your Lord is dirty but it can’t be proven, or you don’t trust him?”
“A Lord can only be challenged by his brothers while he’s in position; it’s the only way for the family to salvage their good name. Otherwise, by law we have to wait until the next challenge, which comes around every fifty years. That’s why Tarek is screwed if he ever becomes Lord. He broke loyalty with his brothers and his reign would be short lived.”
“Unless he killed them.”
Logan slanted his eyes.
“Sorry, I’m not trying to be disrespectful,’ I said.
He sat up, staring at the pattern on the blanket beneath us.
“Logan, what’s wrong?”
“Tarek’s older brother died a few years ago. No one knows the details of the accident and the family has kept quiet about it.”
The soft hush of the air-conditioning interrupted us. Logan curved his head around and regarded me with strict eyes. “What made you say that?”
“I caught a contagious disease from Simon called ‘foot in mouth syndrome.’ Disregard what I said because slander is not high on my priority list.”
Now I knew how serious an unproven accusation was, given what happened to Logan’s father.
“What a Lord’s wife called?”
Logan leaned over and tasted my neck with a languid kiss. “A
Lady
,” he whispered, and his purring engine started up.
Firm lips grazed across my chin until they found my mouth. “I meant what I said,” he whispered.
“About what?”
“Maybe it’s time you stop wearing the pants in this relationship.” His finger tugged at my zipper and his laugh was dark and devious.
Chapter 25
Novis sent invitations to his dinner party with a “plus one.”
Justus had filled my closet with exquisite dresses, but I wanted to pick out something for myself. This was a special night and while I was never comfortable wearing a dress, the occasion warranted a little fuss.
“You’ve been smiling all day,” Logan said observantly from the driver’s seat.
“Just in a good mood.”
“I want to ravish you in that dress.”
“That’s the third time you’ve said that, Mr. Cross.”
“Isn’t that always the charm?”
The man who was courting me had purchased the dress, and he was proud of it. Yes, I had a credit card given to me by my Ghuardian, but Logan refused to let Justus pay. Maybe it was the way I ran my hands along the beautiful gowns on the rack, or the frown that followed when I flipped over the price tag, but he sensed the importance and insisted on treating.
The gown was sultry and the color of emeralds on a moonlit night. The fabric was delicate, and the dress had no sleeves and a daring neckline. Logan liked daring. In fact, he was in love with the dress the moment I walked out of the changing room covering my cleavage with my hands.
Something this elegant always seemed excessive, but sitting beside Logan, I felt beautiful.
One of the bobby pins tugged painfully at my hair, so I pulled it out and smiled at Logan. It wasn’t often that I wore my hair up around him and he admired my shoulders to the point it made me nervous that he was staring so damn hard. Even during the drive, he reached up and stroked the curve of my neck beneath the hairline, causing me to shiver.
“Stunning choice, Silver,” Novis complimented me when we arrived at his door. “It brings out the softness in your eyes.”
Well, wasn’t that the joke. I was anything but soft and we exchanged a humorous glance.
Logan bowed and I jumped when his hand snuck across my bare back. His fingers were cold and I glared at him.
“Join us in the open room for drinks.” Novis stepped to the side and the warmth of his home took the chill off my arms.
Logan wore a light beige jacket and a white shirt. The man looked simply edible. I laughed when he showed up in a pair of punk-rock flat sneakers, but that was his signature style.
In the adjacent room, Justus anchored himself to a sofa with a curly blonde strapped to him like a weapon. Simon’s date, on the other hand, deserved a slant of my mouth. She was tall, brunette, smothered in gold jewelry, and wore enough rouge to paint the town red—literally. Cheri sat demurely on the armrest of a white chair and Adam was nowhere in sight.
Simon’s date slapped his chest with the back of her hand when she caught him gawking at me. He wasn’t the only one, and Justus took on a ruddy coloring. Who could blame them? All they ever saw me wearing were jeans and sweats. I stifled a laugh when Justus introduced his companion. Her name was Honey—although I wondered if it was her stage name.
The carnivore hovering near Simon was clearly a woman who enjoyed a good cage match. Her name was Talia, and she spoke with a thick accent that sounded Transylvanian. She shredded my dress apart with her eyes the minute I set foot in the door.
Christian looked ready for a nap in a chair beside Justus. He twirled a sucker in his mouth with disinterest. He was a nondescript fellow with no distinct features—exactly the kind of person who could blend into a crowd. His facial hair was neatly groomed and shaped, and he’d combed back his brown hair for the occasion.
I drifted to a formal sitting chair and Logan took the long way around the room, keeping his eyes on Christian before taking a position behind my chair with his fingertips touching my bare shoulders.
“Does anyone know what this is about?” Justus asked quietly.
“Maybe it’s you. This is the first time I’ve seen a comb touch your hair since the Second World War,” Justus remarked, polishing the face of his expensive gold watch.
Simon’s date laughed wickedly and scrambled her fingers through his hair. He maneuvered to the window in an attempt to escape her. She must have been one of those trapeze artists in bed, but I could tell that Simon perceived her as intellectually inferior. Still, he was a man who liked the circus and enjoyed his cotton candy.