Impulse (43 page)

“What happened to Christian?” I asked with concern.

“He’s outside.”

“Invite him in.”

“He’s not a puppy, Silver. He’s your guard, and his place—”

“Invite him in. Maybe this is how
you
treat guards, but we’re going to be civilized people. There are enough alarms here to warn us if a dog takes a crap on the property, so let him inside.” It was the least I could do for a man who might have died trying to protect my life.

A few minutes later, a second set of footsteps followed Justus into the room and a chair scraped against the floor on the other side of the table.

Logan lightly touched my hand with two fingers and let go. I guessed he was checking my body temperature, but it was reassuring to know he wasn’t going to abandon me.

No one said a word. I wasn’t an idiot and knew they were having visual conversations about my condition. It made me squirm in my chair as I pricked my fingers on the prongs of the fork.

“How long was I sick?”

“Two days,” Justus murmured.

I leaned against Logan’s shoulder. “Tell me you didn’t sleep with me like that for two days.”

He spread the flat of his hand across my collarbone, stroking my throat with the pad of his thumb.

When I was sick as a kid, my own mother never took care of me as well as Logan did. She’d set a bottle of murky liquid and a couple of pills on my nightstand and let me ride it out by myself. I grew up thinking that’s how it was supposed to be. If I threw up, I had to clean it. “You won’t always have someone there to take care of you,” she’d say. “Learn to fend for yourself.”

I ran my fingers across the bridge of his knuckles.

“It’s two in the morning, but we’re going to have a bloody good meal,” Simon announced. “I cooked up the kitchen. Tomato soup, hamburgers and chips, chicken and mash, plenty of fresh veggies, and bacon sandwiches on the table.” Simon was upbeat and had been busy cooking a potpourri of food. “What’ll you have?”

“Whatever drugs you’re taking.” I snorted. “Um, cooked carrots if you have any and—” Before I could finish, I heard what I assumed were carrots hitting my plate. “The soup smells pretty good.” I reached out, feeling for the plate and silverware.

“Let me feed you,” Logan insisted.

“No, I can do it myself.”

That was pride talking. I stabbed a carrot and missed the target, poking the hot veggie against my cheek. Logan’s hand wrapped around mine.

Christian shifted in his seat. “Chitah, if she can’t figure out how to put a carrot in her mouth then I’ll shine your shoes with my tongue.”

“I’m not sure if I want to win this challenge anymore.” I tapped the carrot playfully against my nose several times and Simon howled like a hyena.

Wet steam dampened my face as I leaned over the hearty aroma of my soup. “Did anyone find Tarek?”

“I’m not sure we can seek retribution by law,” Logan said in a low voice. “They’re put in place to protect our rights, not that of a Mage. I’ll speak to Leo; he may have some pull.”

“Your weak laws mean nothing to me,” Justus said, clearing the air.

I reached out to find Logan’s hand under the table and he pulled it away. In fact, he got up out of his chair in a violent motion.

“I want a peaceful dinner,” I demanded of everyone. “Don’t instigate an argument with Logan for something he has no control over. Our laws don’t protect their rights, either.”

Ignoring the sighs and silverware hitting the table, I tested the temperature of the soup with my finger and found it agreeable. The first spoonful wet the tip of my nose and someone quietly chuckled.

After a few successful rounds, I managed to get the soup thing worked out… mostly hanging my head over the bowl like a dog.

“Give her a napkin,” Simon groaned. “She looks like she made love to a tomato.”

I turned my head privately to Justus. “I’m sorry, Ghuardian.”

“Why should you apologize?”

“I think we both know.”

“I should have hidden the keys to my bike.”

“Did you find where I parked it?”

“There’s a tracker on it,” he said. “I’ll pick it up later.”

“Maybe you need to put a tracker on me,” I said with somber smile.

A piece of silverware tapped on the table from his direction. “Maybe that’s not such a bad idea.”

“It’s a royally bad idea. You microchip your pet, not your Learner.”

“Hmmm.”

Super. Now I really opened up a can of worms. If he planned to microchip my bra collection, then I was going braless.

“I had no idea Marco was going to show up like that. What happened?”

Justus replied stoically. “Novis released him when he refused to answer questions.”

“Why did he come all this way?”

The gentle breeze from a vent nipped at my cheeks and I shivered.

“To work out a deal, I presume.” I heard the soft hush of fabric as he shrugged. “There was something else I had to take care of that was of greater importance.” And the weight of his words told me that the something else was me. “Some battles aren’t worth the fight. The more time that passes, the less it matters what he wants. I once respected him, but now I am without a Creator.” A fork hit the plate and I jumped. “Marco is not welcome in my house… or in my life. A Creator should—”

“I know,” I said, reaching out blindly with my hand in search for his. All I found was a plate. “It’s a rare gift they have, and with it comes responsibility. It seems to be just wasted on the wrong people,” I said, thinking of Samil.

“You have my word that I will never dishonor you the way Marco has me.”

By his tone, Justus was through talking about it.

Simon rambled on about what color to paint his van. He was on the fence about selling the GTO now that he had acquired a Maserati. His apartment manager required him to pay rent for each space he occupied and it rubbed him the wrong way. Simon could afford it, but that man was all about the principle of things. They intentionally kept the topic steered away from Tarek when it was the only important thing on my mind.

If being a blind woman was my new life, then I had no choice but to face the obstacles that lie ahead. Maybe if I kept a positive outlook it would help Adam return from the land of pain and sorrow. But it didn’t feel right not grieving for my own loss, and it started to consume me. I reached out my hand.

“What do you want?” Simon asked.

“Just looking for the chicken.”

I heard the sharp slap of skin and jumped in my seat—my ears alert.

“Let her get it,” Christian bit out. “Silver, it’s at two o’clock, and careful to not tip over your—”

Ah, but it was too late. My glass went over, sending water across the table. There was a flurry of movement while Simon cleaned the mess and a few chairs scooted back. Anger roiled in me, and I was too pissed off to tolerate this coddling anymore.

“Everyone, just stop it.
Stop
.”

“Get her another drink,” Justus ordered.

“Fuck the drink!” I shrieked. “You have all managed to skirt around the topic of whether or not I’m going to be blind. If you won’t even answer that, then quit fussing over me like I’m an invalid!” I bowed my head to my plate.

“Look, you’re upset,” Logan soothed.

“
Of course
I’m upset. Why wouldn’t I be upset? This isn’t about Nero anymore; this is about you and Tarek. I’m caught in the center of a feud that’s been brewing for a hundred years and has nothing to do with me. Yet I’m the one sitting in the dark.” I kicked my chair back and stood up to leave.

Logan took hold of my arm.

“Let go of me.”

“You’re going to hurt yourself. Sit down.”

I yanked my arm out of his grasp and fell over the table. Soup splashed on my left arm as my right hand landed in a bowl of vegetables. I swallowed the embarrassment and stayed very still.

“If I can’t leave this room on my own, then everyone else needs to leave. I want to be alone,” I said, stretching out the last words.

There was the unmistakable sound of Justus moving his mouth angrily as he stood up. I needed to absorb the gravity of the situation. I also needed to cry it out in private, because facing an eternity of being a blind woman deserved at least a moment of silence.

“Logan, go home and rest,” I said, still sensing him at the door. “Speak to your brother and see if anything can be done. I’m not mad at you.”

I sat down, wiped the soup from my arm, and buried my face in my hands. It didn’t matter if they could hear my sobs, but it needed to be unleashed before it turned into anger and bitterness.

Could I endure centuries of darkness? The hate virus invigorated me with power, but I couldn’t allow it. Anger would only put me on a path that went in circles and never had a change in direction.

“Aye. You want to be antisocial, is that what it is?”

“I thought you left.”

Christian’s shoes tapped on the floor and he took the seat across from me. “If you don’t want anyone feeling sorry for you, then you aren’t allowed to feel sorry for yourself, either.”

“I’m allowed at least one good cry for losing my sight.” I sniffed and wiped my nose on the sleeve of the robe. “Do you sleep outside every night?”

“I don’t require sleep.”

“There’s plenty of security outside,” I said with a sigh. “You don’t need to stand guard when I’m home.”

“An assigned guard never leaves.”

“What happened at the club?” I asked.

“I found out what a pencil sharpener feels like.”

“You can always take another job.”

He sniffed. “You’re a stubborn woman.”

“So I’ve been told.” I relied on the subtle sounds of breath, body movement, and the tone in his voice to give me insight behind his words.

He sighed. “It’s what I enjoy doing, Silver. Everyone has a calling, and it gives me a sense of worth to know that I am protecting a life. We don’t have to be bosom buddies.”

“Maybe my life isn’t worth all that trouble. I’m just a Learner. All I do is wreak havoc,” I said, waving my right arm.

“Havoc wreakers write the pages of history, lass. You’re in good company.” Christian’s voice lowered. “I had a sister who was blind.”

It took a moment to absorb the seriousness of his admission. Christian was more than just an obnoxious man—he was an obnoxious man with a past. “When you were human?”

“She was younger than me by six years or so. We had to leave her behind with my da, so I don’t know what became of her. But she was a bright one, always doing things on her own. You see, you don’t know what life is going to deal you, but you have to learn how to deal with life. Fuck rolling with the punches—learn to punch back. Your vision will probably come back in time, but if it doesn’t, then I won’t tolerate your pity party for one.”

“I won’t tolerate you keeping the squirrels company, so let’s strike a deal.”

Chapter 34

Despite his opinion on the matter, Justus couldn’t say no to me in my condition.
We hooked Christian up with the guest bedroom temporarily.

It was the least I could do for a man willing to risk his life for someone he didn’t know very well. Sure, Christian was abrasive—that was a common trait among most Vampires. Apparently, a sharp tongue came with a sharp tooth. I still wanted to rectify the situation between us until I could speak with Novis about other arrangements.

Sigh. And then there was
that
. Given my new affliction, there was no chance that Novis would keep me on as an apprentice.

There are no issues in life, only challenges.

The next day, I tied a scarf around my eyes and did everything I would normally do. I found my toothbrush and brushed my face… and a few teeth. It took several minutes and the cap to the toothpaste fell into the toilet, but I did it. Every mundane activity took time as my brain learned to memorize my surroundings by touch alone. What I was beginning to appreciate more was how perceptive I was in other regards. Timing out how to cook a pastry in the toaster required my ears to listen to the sizzling and my nose to tell me when it was ready.

“Ghuardian?” I knocked on his door in rapid staccato but he didn’t answer. I stuck my face through the crack. “You in there?”

It wasn’t like him to ignore me, so he must have gone upstairs. I was beginning to regain my sense of time—something a Mage had the ability to do. It was just after eight in the evening and he normally would have called me up for dinner.

Once upstairs, I paced to the hallway by the kitchen. “Hello?”

“Surprise!” a sea of voices shouted from the dining room.

I stumbled backward and fell into someone’s arms. Logan’s voice whispered in my ear, “It’s your birthday and they insisted on carrying on with this. Tell me to make them leave.”

“It’s okay,” I said, clutching my heart and leaning into him. “You smell really good. What are you wearing?”