Impulse (11 page)

‘It's not for me to say.' Jilly stared at me long and hard before a tremor of a smile formed on her lips. ‘I want to keep my job, Miranda, and my life.'

I nodded, wondering if Sylvia had threatened her.

The bread in my hand, and the blood-red jam spread across it, was suddenly unappetising. I set it down on my plate and ran through the conversations I'd just had with Anne and Jilly.

My stomach turned. I wasn't sure yet what I suspected was going on with Anne; but I knew it was wrong, whatever it was.

I dressed hurriedly in jeans and a fitted T-shirt, and set off to see Robbie, a guard tailing me as discreetly as she could manage.

The air outside the castle was as fresh and as crisp as if it were truly an autumn morning on land. Only the lighting was strange, coming up centrally, above the city, like a midday sun instead of the gradual rising sun of the land above us.

I decided to bring lunch to Robbie, and the guard led me through the main street, where we crossed over several small bridges above the water channels, until we came upon a large, open quadrangle filled with the sort of market I had pictured when imagining medieval times. There were hagglers and rosy-cheeked, robust women beckoning me towards their stalls; a busker played a cheery tune on his flute that somehow summed up the fresh energy of the morning. Though it didn't make me feel any better about the Anne situation, it distracted me for a few minutes.

I worked my way through the stalls until I had a basket filled to the brim with what would be my and Robbie's lunch. The guard narrowed her eyes at my basket, but said not a word until we reached the greenhouses, where she said, ‘I'll be out here—
right here
.' It sounded almost like a threat. I'd have to watch myself. Not just for my sake, but for Robbie's as well. The last thing I wanted was to endanger him. We'd have to keep our discussion regarding Sylvia close to our chests. Perhaps today, because this guard was behaving like a hawk, I wouldn't even bring Sylvia up. Weirdly enough, I realised, this guard wasn't even Sylvia's but Marko's. I was starting to wonder if any of the guards could be trusted.

In the greenhouse, the soft hushing of the sprinklers was like a whisper of assurance to my ears. This was Robbie's place, and I felt instantly safe.

Robbie turned around as soon as I entered. He was wearing a red-and-white chequered flannel shirt with the sleeves torn off.

‘Miranda?'

‘Yes. How did you know right away?'

‘You're wearing the same shoes,' he said, smiling, but looking at my forehead instead of my eyes, in a way that caused my throat to constrict.

‘Oh, you're right, I am.'

He sighed. ‘Don't be scared to say the wrong thing, Miranda. I can almost smell your fear. I'm still the same Robbie, remember?'

I cleared my throat. ‘I don't want to hurt you, that's all.'

He half smiled, sadly. ‘You and everybody else in this city.' He put a hand beneath one of the sprays and let the water trickle from his fingertips to the ground.

It was sad to imagine Robbie alone in the greenhouses, with only butterflies for company. One landed on his bare
shoulder, glistening with moisture. He lifted it onto his finger and held it out to me. Using my index finger, I transferred the butterfly onto the palm of my other hand and giggled as it tickled my skin.

‘It's got green and blue on it, and a yellow eye-shaped circle on each wing, right?'

‘Yes, it has,' I said, smiling.

He let out a small laugh. ‘This is George. He's the one I've tamed to sit on my shoulder while I work. He's pretty amazing, considering he should have died a month ago, according to the usual life-span of his kind.'

‘He's beautiful.' I held George up to my face and he tickled my cheek with his wings. ‘Hello,' I said, feeling a little bit stupid.

Robbie smiled.

‘Here.' I transferred George back to Robbie's smooth shoulder. ‘I've brought some fruit and some bread and cheese for our lunch,' I said, nudging at the basket with my knee.

‘Fruit? Expensive. How did you get the money?' He stopped and shook his head, his cheeks tinting pink before he fiddled with a piece of black plastic irrigation tube. ‘Of course—why wouldn't Marko pay for your things?'

‘It's not like that. Marko's just helping me out until I find my feet.'

‘Are you planning on getting your own place?' Robbie asked. He kept his head down, as if concentrating on his work, but I could tell by the tautness of his forearm muscles that he anticipated the answer.

‘Can people do that here?'

Robbie smiled. ‘Sure. I'm renting my own place, not far from here. It's a small cottage, but it's enough.' He turned his face to look at me, and this time his eyes met mine.
‘I've got an extra room; you could share the house with me—as a tenant, I mean.'

The idea held so much appeal, but I wasn't sure I could leave Marko's side just yet. If I moved out of the castle and then something happened to him, I'd hate myself.

Robbie's smile faltered and his eyes seemed to lose their sparkle. ‘I suppose a cottage is nothing against a castle.'

‘It's not that. I'm just still worried about Marko.'

‘Yes, well, now I'm worried about Marko
and
you. The castle walls aren't as safe as they used to be.'

‘That's because you're not there, Robbie.'

He flinched. ‘I know,' he said, handing me some hose. He showed me how to measure and prick it at appropriate intervals to form an irrigation line. Having my hands busy relaxed me somewhat. Robbie must have given me the job for that reason.

‘Can I ask you something, Robbie?'

‘Anything.'

I moved in close so that I could whisper to him about Sylvia and Frano Tollin's book.

His face lit up with interest and he bent his head to mine.

‘I remember you saying this before you left Marin. I followed it up with Sylvia after you left, without Marko knowing.' He shook his head and sighed. ‘She loved her grandfather, Miranda, that's all. The book's a keepsake. Sylvia's smart, but she's no scientist. And I've known her for years and have never once heard her speak about mermaids. In fact, she seemed embarrassed and disgusted whenever anybody brought up her grandfather's and brother's fascination with them.'

‘Well, I wondered that, too, but when I later saw it at Damir's place—the same book—I realised that she must be
on Damir's side. And most likely has been all along. But when I questioned Marko about it he said Sylvia told him there were three copies. Why would Frano make three copies? I think she's lying. I think she used the book to trade for something…I just don't know what.'

Robbie nodded his head. ‘You may be right. I still don't get it, though. What could she possibly get out of siding up with Damir? She's hated him for too many years and loved Marko for just as many.'

‘Maybe Marko will listen if we both speak to him about our suspicions.'

Robbie ran his fingers through his hair. ‘Are you insane? You can't talk to Marko about his sister. I tried, once, last year, after I'd heard a rumour that Sylvia had visited the Underworld. He didn't talk to me for a week.'

I sighed.

We retreated into silence for a while, listening to the lulling whispers of the water sprays, until Robbie groaned.

‘Is it too early to eat?' he asked, rubbing a palm across his flat stomach. ‘I'm starving. In fact, I'm always starving.' He grinned and shook his head. ‘And if I remember correctly, so are you.'

The light crystals at the very top of the dome, the ones that mimicked daylight, had grown dim by the time I rushed back up the castle steps. The city, however, glittered beneath the oncoming darkness like tiny jewels against black velvet.

I'd stayed on at the greenhouses after lunch, to help Robbie finish his work, and now my grumpy guard kept muttering to herself, whinging about how late it was and
how Marko had made her promise never to keep me out this late in the day.

‘Marko doesn't own me and neither do you. I'm a free citizen, okay, so I'll return to the castle when I like.'

She snorted and said nothing in return, but seemed to stomp her feet up the steps with more force.

As I rushed through the grand double doors and down the main corridor, I ran into Robbie's close friend, Lily. Her long white-blonde hair was startling against the skintight, black guard-suit that hugged every toned inch of her perfect body.

‘You're back. Robbie told me, yesterday.' Though she smiled, her eyes weren't in it.

‘I arrived a few days ago.'

‘It's been a week and a couple of days since you arrived, actually.'

‘Oh.' I realised I must have been out for longer than I thought. I watched my guard sigh with relief and stomp away after Lily gave her a nod.

‘I hate the side effects of those tablets.' Lily shuddered and then gave me a real smile this time. I couldn't believe she was actually smiling at me. Maybe she didn't see me as a threat anymore, seeing as I wasn't living under the same roof as Robbie this time. I wondered if she still had feelings for him. I'd always suspected it.

I returned her smile and suddenly hoped I'd get to know her a little more. It would be nice to have a female friend here. Since Zoe had dumped me for a new group of friends back home, because she thought I was a nutter, I hadn't really had a friend at all.

‘Has Marko been looking for me?' I asked.

She shook her head. ‘No. He's been held up in meetings for most of the day.'

‘Oh.'

A flicker of pity softened Lily's eyes. ‘He's this busy all the time, Miranda; not just since you've arrived. Things haven't been easy around here since Damir was locked up. Not everyone is as happy about it as you would imagine.' She glanced down the lengths of the empty corridor and shifted closer. ‘It's getting harder for Marko to know who to trust, so he has to be extra cautious in every decision he makes.'

Footsteps approached and Lily stepped back and smiled as a male guard I didn't recognise nodded and passed, disappearing down the corridor.

‘But don't worry, Miranda. I've noticed how happy Marko's been since you've returned. We all have.' And with that she winked, turned and walked away. As I watched her leave, I couldn't help the butterflies that tickled my insides.

It was crazy. Earlier in the day I'd felt so unsure about Marko's feelings for me, and a little unsure about how I had felt. Now, things had changed again. It was as if my emotions were flower petals:
he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me…

I wanted to rush down the hall, eager to return to my room and, hopefully, to run into Marko, but I stopped myself. There were voices inside my old bedroom, hushed voices—a guy and a girl—and my stomach churned when I recognised the male voice as Marko's.

My stomach continued to swirl sickly as I tiptoed to the door and placed my ear to the keyhole.

The girl laughed and my heart slammed to a halt.

There was no mistaking it. I'd recognise her laugh anywhere.

But she couldn't be here.

She just
couldn't.

I
PUSHED AGAINST
the metal door, my mind floating somewhere near the ceiling, suspended in shock, and stepped into the room.

On my old fairytale four-poster bed sat Lauren, cross-legged and as casual as could be, as if sitting on a four-poster bed studded with pearls and draped in silk in a castle in a domed underwater city was just a part of everyday life.

Marko stood beside the bed, staring back at me with wide eyes, and looking like he wanted to disappear down the air chute in the far corner of the room.

Even though a thousand questions were brewing up inside me I couldn't speak. I just kept staring at them, my eyes travelling back and forth between them.

‘Miranda, I didn't want—'

‘How long have you been here?' I finally managed, cutting her off. I turned to Marko. ‘And how long have you known?' And then I realised. ‘You brought her with us? The same night? And you didn't think to tell me?' My chest was heaving and I could feel the hot sting of angry tears prickling at the backs of my eyes. My gaze rested on
Lauren. ‘You didn't want to come and see me? After all this time?'

She slid off the bed and sauntered her way towards me, a sheepish smile on her face. ‘Thanks a lot, Randy. I was kind of expecting a huge hug or…' She moved to take me in her arms, but I stiffened and stepped back.

‘So you two have been having little meetings in here, laughing your heads off at my expense, while I've been wandering the castle, and stuck in my room—alone, thinking I had no-one?'

Lauren snuck a glance at Marko, who was rubbing the back of his neck and looking increasingly uncomfortable. He nodded and she turned back to me. They were communicating with each other silently, in their own private language, as if they knew each other well. My stomach turned. Now I knew who Marko's ‘riotous' new friend was.