Impulsive (22 page)

“I can't believe this,” Kevin said more to himself than to anyone in the room.

“We're done.”

Kevin didn't offer any explanations or beg for his job. Without looking around or causing any more of a scene, he grabbed his notepad and briefcase and walked out.

The room stayed quiet for a full minute after he was gone.

Josh got up with his coffee cup and headed toward the kitchen. “Impressive.”

Eric wasn't done. They all needed a lecture. Josh included. “We still have some business.”

“Uh-oh,” Seth joked until he realized no one else joined in.

Eric shifted to the side of the table Kevin had just abandoned. It put them in an us-versus-them arrangement and Eric was fine with that.

“Can I say something?” Deana asked, and then rushed ahead without waiting for an answer. “I'm sorry about Kevin. I know you used him because I recommended him.”

“When?” Katie asked with a tone that suggested she didn't like Eric and Deana talking.

“Years ago when Eric mentioned a possible run.”

Eric took back the floor with a single clap. Too much discussion on side issues and he would never get this part out. And suddenly, he wanted to be alone with Katie. Watching her sit there, shredding a napkin between her fingers, he felt that familiar kick of admiration and desire. The crowd blunted her usual sass but she hadn't backed down. She'd met Kevin head-on, exposed him and the bind he'd put her in.

She didn't have anything to do with the video. That much was clear to anyone with eyes and ears. Kevin couldn't sell that allegation. What that meant in terms of a future with Katie, Eric still didn't know. But maybe they weren't done after all, and that possibility punched up his energy level again. The dragging exhaustion disappeared, leaving him ready to fight.

“And that brings us to the problem we all need to discuss.” He waited until he had everyone's attention—glares, smiles, and all. “It's time everyone stop with the guilt and overprotective crap.”

Seth folded his arms on the table. “This should be interesting.”

Eric figured he might as well start with the most obvious point first. “Deana, I am over you.”

She shifted in her seat. “I know that.”

“Sure as hell better be,” Josh said.

“I was thinking the same thing,” Katie grumbled at the same time.

“I take responsibility for every decision I made in your nephew's case. Good or bad, it was all me. You are not accountable for my career or any scandal that breaks.” When Josh tried to speak, Eric shut him down. “You either. Yes, you asked for a favor to confirm once and for all that Ryan was guilty. Deana benefitted from that, but the community did, too.”

“You gave me the ability to move on,” Deana said.

Josh slipped his fingers through his wife's. “It's a bigger gesture than you think.”

“But I didn't have to do it.” Eric shot Josh his best man-to-man look. “You're not that persuasive.”

Josh pretended to be offended. “That can't be true.”

“My point is that you're both off the hook. You don't have to come running over here every time you think I'm in trouble. In fact, I'd prefer if you didn't.” Eric tapped a hand against his chest. “Grown man.”

Josh nodded. “Got it.”

“And now that I've lectured, I have a favor, Deana.” This part was tougher. It involved some pride swallowing and something even bigger—real closure. The decision was the right one, but people would talk. Hell, if he had any chance with Katie, this might destroy it.

“What is it?” Deana asked.

“I want you to consider being my campaign manager.”

Deana's eyes bugged.

That was nothing compared to the homicidal glare on Katie's face. “What?”

Seth shoved his chair back from the table and Katie's striking distance. “Whoa.”

This decision had to be his. Eric had learned something from the Kevin experience. “You are connected, well-funded—”

“He means you're loaded.” Josh laughed until Deana elbowed him in the side.

“You are the perfect person to run a campaign. You can also shoot down dumb rumors and will never hire a spy to follow me around.”

Deana smiled. “All true.”

“We have a past, but that could be a good thing. You'll bring me whatever I need to hear, good or bad, and I'll handle it.”

Eric could almost see Deana turning the idea over in her head. He glanced at Josh to see if there was any trouble there, but he seemed fine. They both relaxed in their chairs. They didn't say no or run out. Eric took all of that as a positive step.

One hurdle down
. “Talk it over and let me know.”

“Is that last part your way of telling us to leave?” Josh asked.

“Yes, and you can take Seth with you.” Eric appreciated the other man's quickness. “Katie stays.”

She snorted. “Only because Katie wants to stay.”

“I like her.” Deana whispered the admission to Josh.

He nodded. “Me too.”

“While I appreciate your telling everyone where you want them—” Katie's sharp tone said the exact opposite—“one problem with your scenario is that I have my sister's car and she needs it.”

Seth stood up and held out his hand. “Give me the keys.”

Katie shrank back looking more than a little suspicious “Why?”

“I'll take it back to her.”

Katie grabbed her purse and held it to her chest as if it was filled with gold and Seth wanted to steal it. “I don't think so.”

“Guess she's heard about your driving,” Josh said.

Seth looked highly offended. “What is that about?”

Eric knew the answer. “Cara.”

“Who is Cara?” Seth asked.

Josh's eyes grew wide. “Oh.”

“She's very pretty.” Deana gave Seth a conspiratorial nod.

“Yeah?” Seth asked.

Katie snapped her fingers in front of Seth's face. “She has a baby and a bad attitude about men.”

“Neither of those things scare me.”

Josh laughed. “They should.”

The idea of Cara and Seth made Eric smile. The poor bastard would get knocked back more than a few times if he tried to go there. Cara was not an easy audience. Eric knew that from experience.

“Let him go,” he said to Katie.

She pointed a finger at Seth. “Behave.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Now, I've been patient, and I'm done with that.” Eric headed for the door. “Everyone out.”

“Subtle,” Seth said.

“I've discovered that virtue is overrated.”

S
he waited until Eric closed the door before she said anything. It took that long for her to leash her anger against Kevin. The man had been determined to drag her down with him. Thank goodness for the group dynamic and a small show of support from Eric or she'd probably be the one in the parking lot right now.

“That was strange.” She could think of a lot of words to describe what had just happened, but that was the safest.

“The last few days have been strange.” He clicked the lock. “I'm about ready for a vacation, and that's saying something since I haven't really taken one in two years.”

The fact didn't surprise her one bit. If he kept this up, they'd have to pull him out and take him to a hospital for a long rest. “You often gather everyone you know in your dining room?”

“We usually use the kitchen.”

The lightness had moved back into his voice. He threw out one of his dry one liners and her heart soared. “Good to know you're flexible.”

He stood next to her at the dining room table. Their hands rested inches apart on the back of the chair beside them. “Why are you here?”

She would have taken offense but his soft tone deflected the brunt of his harsh words. “Is that your way of telling me I shouldn't be?”

His fingers slipped closer. “I was asking a simple question.”

“Not to contradict you, because I've now seen you furious and am not looking for a replay, but we haven't had a moment of simple between us since we met.”

He pretended to consider her theory. “It has not been boring.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“Well, if you'd asked me earlier today—”

“You scared the hell out of me.”

The tips of his fingers touched hers. He glanced down as he rubbed his forefinger over her knuckles. “You have to know I would never hurt you.”

Hope blossomed in her chest as his hand moved over hers. Her tendency in relationships was to find a stable point and stay there. Ever since her heart was handed to her by a guy who wanted to keep her on the side, Katie had protected her soul from further battering. She'd pull back to avoid controversy and fall back on sex.

With Eric, the intimacy had been amazing, but she wanted more. For the first time, she needed to break her old pattern and reach someone on a different level. Eric's gentle touch spurred her on.

“I prosecute men who hurt women,” he added.

“I know your record. I don't question how you feel on that point.” She had seen violent and even now dealt with the aftermath while living with Cara. Men delivered that sort of abuse through fists and with words. She couldn't imagine Eric doing either. “That's not what I meant.”

“I scared you in another way?”

“I've never seen you like that.”

His face fell “I'm sorry. I made a leap and blamed you for the video.”

“Understandable under the circumstances, but that's part of what I'm talking about. It was the change in you from what I thought was true to what really is that scared me.”

He slipped his fingers through hers. “I don't know what that means.”

Being close to him felt so damn good. There, in his home, surrounded by his woodsy scent and the comfort of the ocean beyond, nothing else existed. If they could stay there and wipe out everything that went before, she'd be happy.

No. That was wrong. She didn't want to go backward. It was time to put all of those worries about being kept around for sex behind her. Eric deserved more and she needed more. To get there, she had to make him understand why they'd derailed in the first place.

“I thought you bottled everything up and never showed your emotions,” she said.

“Those aren't the words I'd use, but the end result is pretty accurate. If you're looking for someone who races around the house yelling, that's not me. I keep it in and analyze it.”

Her free hand found its way to his stomach. “Why live like that? Doesn't it make you crazy?”

“My work demands it. It's how I was raised. There are probably a million reasons, but I'm not sure that's what you really want to know.”

The hardest part lay right in front of her. She searched for the right words, but trying to pretty it up didn't work. In the end she just blurted out the insecurities that skipped around in her brain. “I convinced myself you enjoyed the sex, but when it came to anything important, you were holding me away from you. That you didn't want me in your life.”

Pain raced across his face. “Honey, that's not true.”

He had never used an endearment before. This one shot right to her heart. Everything had fallen apart this afternoon, but hearing him now, seeing the love so obvious on his face, she thought they might actually be able to put it back together.

She had to get through this first. “I kept thinking your relationship with Deana changed you.”

He groaned. “Why does everything come back to her?”

“No, listen to me.” Katie wanted to kiss the frown from his mouth, but that would end the conversation. That's how it worked with them. They went to the place they knew. She needed them to hover in the tough part for a little longer.

“I'm ready.” He looked like he had tasted sour milk.

“I see now that Deana was an easy excuse. If I blamed her and decided you were still in love with her, then I never had to deal with the possibility you didn't feel as strongly about me.”

“Let's get one thing straight.” He lifted their joined hands to the space over his heart.

The pounding came right through his shirt and knocked against her hand, steady and reassuring. “I'm listening.”

And living on every word.

“What I feel for you is very different from what I felt for Deana.”

A breath left her with a sharp thwack. She'd had no idea the truth could cause that much pain. “Oh, I see.”

He smiled at her. “No, you don't.”

“It's okay.” She needed to move back, break his hold. She thought she could handle this part and accept a smaller piece of him than he'd given to Deana in the past. Live with that and try to build more.

But she was wrong.

“I'm not going to lie to you. I did love her.” His dark eyes filled with a sentiment Katie couldn't identify.

“We can stop talking about this now.”

“Our relationship was calm and relaxed and did not challenge me at all. We probably would have bumped along and, as Seth says, eventually bored the crap out of each other.”

Wait…
“Seth?”

“He uses different words, but you get the idea.”

Katie had always imagined a perfect relationship between Deana and Eric. His description now destroyed all her preconceived notions and started healing the broken parts of her.

“You were a mess at her wedding.”

“My feelings were raw. I felt betrayed by her. The truth is that I did everything I knew how to do, but with or without Ryan, it was never going to work.”

Katie desperately wanted to believe that. So much so that she was embarrassed by her need to see Deana as less than perfect. “How can you know that?”

“You look at her and see a certain type of woman.”

That one was easy. “Rich, beautiful, and totally put together.”

“Like everyone else in the world, she has a past. She hid it from me because she thought I couldn't take it or that it would conflict with my political plans, or whatever.”

“She was protecting you.” Katie knew because she'd done the exact same thing.

“I used to think that, but now I know the truth. She didn't believe in me, or us, enough to tell me.”

Everything inside Katie ground to a halt. Her heart and lungs shut down as she tried to process his simple comment.

Was that what she'd been doing? She'd been convinced that Eric only needed to know the here and now. She justified holding back by saying it would give him deniability if anyone ever asked during the election. She'd never seen the situation from his perspective.

“She thought I cared when I really didn't. If I lose an election because of something someone close to me did as a teenager, then I can live with that.” He was talking about Deana, but it was clear he was referring to Katie as well.

“But you've wanted this position forever.”

“I want it because I think I'll be good at it, but it's not my whole life. Not anymore.”

She had dreamed of hearing those words from him. All she'd ever wanted was for him to make room for her in his life.

“What changed?” she asked.

“You.”

She fell into him then, let her body rest against his, with their hands trapped between them. “I love when you say things like that.”

“You walked into my life and knocked me over.” He spoke into her hair. “I'd lost track of fun and everything outside my office door. Meeting you was like being flooded with light again.”

“Oh, Eric.”

“Every time I thought you betrayed me, I hunkered down and searched my head for a way to forget it.” He brushed his nose against hers. “That wasn't because I don't feel passion. It's because I can't imagine living without you. I thought if I forgave everything, you'd never have a reason to leave.”

“I was so worried it was all about sex.”

He pulled his head back and gave her a frank stare. “And I worried that was the only way I could hold you.”

She dropped her forehead to his shoulder. “We're a pathetic pair.”

“But we are a pair.”

“You talked about Deana's past—” Katie said the words into his neck.

“I know about the drug charge against you.”

“You…what?”

“I have access to all the court records. That information is easy for me to find.”

“And you went looking.” She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Not too good was her initial reaction.

“Something Cara said tipped me off.”

“Figures.”

“But it's more than that, Katie. I know about the guy who turned out to be married. All of those things and not one of them matters to me.” He tipped up her chin. “Please believe that.”

From any other man it would sound like a line, but Eric spoke with such depth of feeling. From his hands to his eyes to his words, he told her he loved her. Maybe not in the traditional way, but in ways that mattered even more.

He didn't judge. He didn't want a pretty version of her past. He wanted her as she was. It was a gift she'd never expected to get.

She lifted her head. Their mouths were close enough to touch. She could feel his breath against her cheek. “You sound like a saint.”

“I can assure you, I'm not.”

“Pretty forgiving then.”

“It's a matter of being realistic, sitting at a desk every day and seeing the horror that happens between people. I can take most anything you throw at me, but you have to be honest and you have to tell me.”

And that would start right now. Hard or easy, she'd put it out there and then let him decide. “I didn't have anything to do with the video.”

“I know.” He pressed a light kiss against her mouth.

“You were not a mark or a way to work a con.”

The second kiss began as a nibble on the corner of her mouth and traveled to the other side, stealing her breath with every tiny touch. “I know that, too.”

And here was the big admission. Everything rode on his reaction to her next comment. “I meant it when I said I loved you.”

His body stilled.

Panic raced through her blood. Had she gone too far? The way his hand squeezed hers, she didn't think so.

“Eric?”

“Thank God,” he whispered.

The floodgates burst open then. Her hands plowed into his hair as her mouth toured his face. “I love you so much.”

“Yes,” he mumbled between kisses.

“It happened so fast.”

He stopped her rambling with a long aching kiss that shot through her senses like a bolt of electricity. It promised hope and forgiveness, strength and compassion. With each deepening stroke of his tongue, he burned his body into hers. By the time he lifted his head, they were both panting.

But she needed one more thing.

She pressed her hand against his cheek, letting her love pour through her and into him. “Will there ever be a time when you tell me you love me?”

His dark eyes widened. “You have to know I do.”

Funny enough, she did. They'd been so fractured just a short time ago, but the second she walked into his apartment today she knew.

She felt it in his loving gaze and the way he hovered over her as if ready to pounce should anyone try to hurt her. She heard it in the way he stood up for her to Kevin. Through small acts and big gestures, he told her all the time.

“You've showed it and lived it, but never said it.” And she needed to hear the words.

“Then shame on me.” Eric's hand plunged through her hair. “I do love you.”

Her stomach flipped. If someone asked her to describe the feeling, she'd sum it up in one word: freedom.

“And now you've told me you love me in every way that counts.” She couldn't stop kissing him.

“I started loving you that first day in the bathroom.”

She snorted. “That was lust.”

“By the time I saw you in the kitchen, it had turned into something else.” His gaze searched hers.

“What?”

“I wasn't sure then except to know lust evaporates. This doesn't.”

Sweet talker
. “What now?”

“I've heard about this interesting concept.” He closed one eye as if he was searching his mind for the right word.

“Oh, really?”

“Makeup sex.”

She waited for the rush of doubts, for that little voice in her head to tell her that she was only an eager and willing body to him. This time the nagging stayed quiet. She didn't even hear a rumble.