In A Heartbeat (24 page)

Her gaze drifted down his length. She considered his argument as if he had proposed a change in accounting methods. How could she be so calm and collected when he was fighting to maintain sanity? With a practiced jerk, he pulled his T-shirt off before dropping it to the side of the bed.

Her eyes widened. “I see what you mean,” she said with appreciation.

His fully erect penis strained against the loose fabric of his boxers. His fingers clenched into fists. Lord, what sweet torture. She was killing him.

“Can you promise me you’ll keep your eyes closed?” she asked, her fingers exploring the breadth of his chest.

“I don’t know if that’s a promise I can keep,” he said tightly. Her fingertips ventured lower, following the path directed by his chest hair. If they didn’t reach some kind of agreement soon, he would explode.

“I’ve got an idea,” he said, with sudden inspiration. He dashed to the closet, rummaged on the top shelf, cursing under his breath at everything in his way. It had to be up here somewhere… There--his hands wrapped around the suitcase he had used on a transcontinental flight. His fingers searched inside until they slipped over satiny cloth.

“Found it.” He kicked the fallen clothes back in the closet and turned, holding his prize, the black sleeping mask he had used to catch shuteye. “Will this do?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Try it on.”

He pulled the mask over his eyes, then turned his head from side to side. He heard the mattress springs squeak. The scent of her perfume stirred.

“Can you see me?” Her voice came from directly in front of him.

In truth, he could see a little where the mask didn’t lie flush on his cheeks, but with the dim flickering candlelight, he could see very little. “No.”

“Then come with me.” Her fingernails grazed his forearm. He jumped inside his skin, not realizing she was that close. His reaction must have pleased her judging by her soft giggle. Her fingers slipped to his hand and interlaced with his fingers. Pulling his arm, she guided him across the room.

“Stand here,” she ordered.

She was enjoying this! Then again, so was he. He smiled. This experience was proving to be a “first” for him as well.

“Now that you’ve brought it to my attention,” she said. “I want to take a good, long look at you.”

Her fingernails scraped against his belly before slipping beneath the elastic at his waistline. That about did him in. Without sight, he couldn’t anticipate and without that ability to anticipate, every nerve ending leapt to attention, ready for anything—or almost anything. She stretched the band and eased the boxers down his legs, releasing his rock hard dick for her close inspection. His breath caught. He imagined her studying him as intently as she did numbers on a computer screen. A warm breath swirled around his sensitized tip, curling his toes. God, what sweet torture!

“Have you seen enough?” he asked tightly, imagining her innocent tongue moistening her lips just a hair’s breadth away. Something soft brushed the top of his thigh, testing a new kind of control for him. What was that? Her hair? His erection reached for what he couldn’t see. He had never been this hard in his life.

“Touch me,” he ground out beneath clenched lips. “Touch me so I know where you are.”

“Here,” she said, stroking the length of him with her fingertips. A low hiss of pleasure issued from his lips. She abruptly stopped. “Am I hurting you?”

“Not in the way you mean.” He reached in the void for her hand and led it back. “Explore away.”

She slowly dragged her fingers over his balls, up his dick, tracing every bulging vein.

“I didn’t know men were so velvety smooth, so soft,” she said, rounding her fingers around his sensitive tip.

“Soft is not the word I’d use,” he said on a gasp. He heard her light chuckle a moment before another hand touched the small of his back and traveled down, thoroughly exploring his ass.

“Hmmm. I see you have dimples here too.”

He broke into a sweat and lost restraint. Now that he knew where she was centered, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her fully clothed body tight against him.

“It’s my turn.” He lifted her T-shirt before she could complain. “You can’t have all the fun.”

“Why not?” she purred, but she didn’t protest. Encouraged, he slid his hand down her sensuous curved side until he found the waistline of her jeans. His fingertips of each hand followed just inside the rough denim, skimming over her taut belly till they met at the zipper.

Virgin flesh untouched by any other man. His fingers quivered and his knees almost buckled. By touch alone he manipulated the zipper, releasing the fabric and exposing the private side of Angela Blake. God, he wanted to see.

He held her shoulders to help her balance as she stepped out of the pants, all the while fantasizing about her undergarments. Did she wear those frilly temptress concoctions that Elizabeth preferred? Probably not. Not his Angel. The sight of her staid conservative cotton undies would tempt him more than any lace and satin garment of Elizabeth’s. He located the shoulder straps of her bra and with a finger underneath each he followed the straps to her chest.

As much as his body urged him to rush, he refused. As insecure as Angie seemed about her body, standing before him exposed must be difficult. He forced himself to go slow and gain control. As long as she kept her hands on his forearms and not below his waist, he figured he had a fighting chance.

He kissed her forehead, her cheekbones, her lips, letting the tip of his nose navigate the seductive angles of her face. He unfastened her bra then pulled the fabric free from her chest. He filled his hands with her flesh.

“Are you okay?” he whispered between kisses. At her nod, he bent to lave one breast with his tongue while massaging the other with his hand. He suckled until a shudder rippled through her body and a low moan teased his ear.

“Better take me to bed,” he said.

SHE LED HIM to the mattress.
This is it
, she thought,
the big moment
. Could he tell how nervous she was? How inexperienced? She didn’t even know if she should sit on the edge of the bed or lie down. She opted for the latter as he had placed her in that position before. He felt for her shoulders, then his knee nudged her legs apart. Within moments, his weight covered her body.

So this is how a man feels
. A silent, inward breath passed her lips. The weight of him wasn’t unpleasant or heavy, as she had imagined it would be. It felt…right, timeless. Her arms around his back.

“Relax,” he whispered in her ear. Easy for him to say. His erection pressed her inner thigh. She hadn’t imagined how hard or how long that living length of flesh could be. She understood what was to happen tonight. She was twenty-six, after all. But understanding and experiencing were two different things. She still wore her panties, and he couldn’t do anything with those on. She forced herself to relax.

Hank caressed and suckled her breasts. She arched her back, offering him more, and he took it greedily. Pleasure rippled through her in waves. She didn’t know it could be like this. She tried to pull his head to her lips but he just smiled and pushed her arms to the bed, holding her in place. His kisses moved from her breasts to her scar.

“Hank!” She twisted, trying to escape, but he refused to budge. Her entire body lay exposed, yet he centered on her obvious imperfection. Humiliation chased away her earlier euphoria.

His tongue followed the length of the scar, then flicked back and forth over its ridge. Pinned under him, unable to move, she suffered embarrassment in silence. Words couldn’t squeeze past the lump in her throat. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes before streaming to the pillow. How could he do this She had trusted him.

“I can feel your scar, Angel,” he said. “It’s not ugly at all.” His tongue trailed down its length as if to prove his point. “It’s magnificent, just like the rest of you.” His voice expanded deep inside her. He kissed her stomach. “Sometimes you don’t need your eyes to see.”

Tears continued to flow, but no longer from embarrassment. He hadn’t rejected her, but instead made her feel special. He kissed every conceivable part of her. In that moment, she would have told him how much his acceptance meant if he hadn’t slipped his hand under the waistband of her panties. She practically jumped off the bed.

He shifted and removed the fabric before reclaiming his place between her legs. She braced herself, seconds before his fingers parted her pubic hair to expose the moist flesh lining beneath.

“Relax, Angel,” he said, easing her legs wider apart. “I want you to enjoy this.”

She clenched her teeth, knowing that pain sometimes accompanied a woman’s first time. But his tongue, not his penis, slipped inside.
My God!
Sensations exploded, each wave stronger than the preceding. She twisted, but he was relentless. Her fists clenched and pounded on the mattress, tremors shook her thighs, and strange noises issued from her throat. Still the electrifying sensations built until to a crescendo before spilling in waves of radiating contentment. Her body stilled, then went limp, but her heart pounded out a furious rhythm. She was safe; she was alive; she gasped for air.

“That was…incredible,” she said in breathless bursts.

He kissed the inside of her leg. “I wanted you to feel the pleasure of loving, without the pain of the first time.”

“You mean that wasn’t?”

“No. Technically, you’re still a virgin.” His voice lowered to a more somber tone. “We can stop here if you like. You don’t have to go through—”

“No. I want it all. I want to feel you inside me.” She meant it too. No one else. Just Hank. Always Hank.

He nodded. “Believe me, that’s where I want to be, but Angel?”

“Hmmmm?”

“I’ve got to remove this mask to put on a condom.” He hurried on, “I won’t look at you, if you don’t want me to. But I really need—”

“It’s okay.” Considering what he had just done, the places he had explored with such attention to detail, her earlier concerns seemed suddenly childish. She wasn’t a child any longer.

He shoved the mask to the top of his head, opened a drawer in a bedside table and removed a foil square. It took only a few moments before he was back.

He repositioned himself, then glanced at her. “My God, you’re beautiful.”

Her chest tingled with his compliment, then after a brief internal pinch, he was deep inside. He settled his weight across her torso then soothed the hair from her face.

“Are you okay? Was that too much? I thought the pain would be less if I was quick.”

The concern in his voice, combined with that silly mask perched on the top of his head, made her heart swell with gratitude. He had no concept of the pain she had endured in the past. That he would worry so much about that pinch, and a little accommodation…she smiled, remembering how large he had expanded—okay, a lot of accommodation.

“I’m fine,” she replied. “More than fine.”

He moved inside her. Long strokes, powerful strokes. He established a rhythm and her body rose to meet his thrusts in a similar tempo. She tried to see his face, but couldn’t see past his chin. He continued to drive into her with determination and need until at the height of one thrust, he stopped, held tense, then relaxed on top of her. She relaxed with him, dismissing her sore muscles in favor of enjoying the comfort of his weight. She squeezed her muscles tight around him. He groaned.

“You can feel that?” she said, amazed.

“Oh baby, you have no idea.”

That felt good. She was raw and sore and trapped under a man three times her size, but she wasn’t without control. Smiling, she listened to the reassuring sound of his heartbeat. This was good, a miracle in itself. A silent prayer of gratitude winged upward.

He slowly pulled out and she instantly missed the close contact. “I’ll be right back,” he said.

The squeak of a stubborn faucet and the rush of running water sounded from the bathroom. She smiled at the flickering candlelight dancing on the ceiling. She felt complete and mystically transformed. For the first time that she could remember, she felt normal. Normal and experienced, she modified. She didn’t think she could look at life and men, especially Hank, the same way again.

“Here, try this.” He sat on the side of the bed, the mask still comically propped on his head. A warm, damp cloth pressed between her legs. “It might make you feel better.” Her hand replaced his.

“Any regrets?” he asked with poorly concealed concern.

“Yes.” She smiled. “I regret I couldn’t see your face.”

Relief washed over his face. A small smile pulled at his cheek. “There are other positions, you know, where that is entirely possible.” He brushed his hand through his hair and tangled it in the black satin.

They both laughed, he at the discovery and she at his expression.

“I’m sorry I made you wear that,” she said. Her fear that he’d reject her seemed so irrational now, in light of what they had shared.

“I’m not,” he said twirling the mask by its elastic. “It provided a heightened experience, although I doubt I can ever wear this again without thinking of this night.”
And you.
He didn’t say the words but his smile conveyed the sentiment. A warm, liquid contentment filled her. She wanted to hold on to the moment, but her body had other ideas. Her mouth contorted in a gaping yawn.

“I know it’s been a long night. Why don’t you get some rest?” He reached for the damp cloth. “Let me take that.”

“You’re coming back?” she asked, hoping her voice didn’t betray her panic. He couldn’t leave her in this bed alone, not tonight.

“Of course. Just let me take care of this.”

“Okay then,” she said, or she thought she said, she wasn’t sure which. The pillows and blanket molded around her in comfort. She’d just rest her eyes for a moment till he returned. Just for a moment…

HE TOSSED THE washcloth in the sink, trying to avoid seeing the bloodstains. My God, what had he done? He couldn’t even look in the mirror. She’d been so trusting, so full of passion, so—his gaze fell to the crumpled sleep mask clenched in his hand—so magnificent. She deserved someone better than him. Someone who didn’t make commitments to people they didn’t love. He turned out the lights, stepped back into the bedroom and glanced at the petite form huddled in his bed. He couldn’t help it, he smiled. His petite elfin warrior, fragile in certain aspects but still carried the heart of a giant.