In Every Way (14 page)

Josh and I talk for an hour. I’m trying to keep up this façade like this isn’t a big deal, like I’m not totally freaking out inside, but it’s hard. Every single thing he says makes me smile, and my cheeks are actually hurting from my happiness.

After I’d embarrassingly burst into tears in front of him, he’d held me until I got myself under control. Then he cracked some joke and I laughed, and things have been great since.

I came so close to telling him about my insecurities, about how badly I want to let myself like him but I’m scared shitless about being rejected for my weight. The words never left my tongue, because thinking these intimate things are much easier than saying them aloud.

Somehow we get on the topic of extreme sports, and Josh tells me about this time he was jumping ditches on his bicycle as a kid.

He mimes the bike with his hand while he talks. “The rubber hand grips were all worn off and so when I jumped, the grip slipped off, and of course I crashed because I suck at extreme sports,” he says with a laugh, then makes one hand crash into the other one. “I flipped over and the end of the metal handlebars hit me in the head and took out a big chunk of my scalp. My mom was freaking out because of all the blood.”

“Oh gross,” I say, tugging my pillow into my lap in an effort to block my fat stomach from view.

Josh rises from my computer chair and sits next to me on the bed, leaning forward. “You can still see the scar from the stitches I had to get.” He runs his hands over his hair, his fingers going to the exact spot of his scar like he’s found it a million times. I wonder how many other girls he’s shown this to over the years.

“Wow, that’s pretty nasty,” I say, examining the long jagged line of scar tissue on his head.

He sits back up, running a hand over his hair to smooth it over the scar. He’s now just a few inches away, the mattress sagging beneath his weight. I gulp and hug my pillow to my chest.

“So, are you feeling better?” Josh says.

I shrug. “I suppose.”

He reaches out and runs his finger down the length of my arm, hooking it around my index finger. “Do you think you’d let me take you out to dinner sometime? Go on a real date?”

“Hmm, now that I’m thinking about it,” I say, putting a finger to my lips as I pretend to think it over. “I let you kiss me before we even had a real date. I totally got ripped off.”

He laughs and leans forward, making the mattress sink and push us closer together. “You should make that mistake again. You know, just one more time before we go out.”

I swallow. He is so close, his lips just inches from mine, and all it would take is a slight movement to bring them together. I can tell he’s waiting for me to make the move now that he’s thrown the idea out there. His words hover in the space between us, making me excited and scared at the same time.

“Well, maybe one more mistake won’t hurt . . .” I say, unable to hide my grin.

“Awesome,” Josh breathes, as he leans in and our lips meet.

This kiss is so much better than the first few. Now it’s like we’re in tune with each other. Josh’s calloused hand goes straight to my cheek, sending a shock of goosebumps down through my neck. He is warm and comforting, and muscular and perfect.

I reach up and grab his shoulders, pulling him against me. He grins, a mischievous and scary handsome look in his eyes. The next thing I know, I’m falling backward, my head crashing into my pillow. Josh’s hard body is on top of mine, hovering on his elbows. My boobs press into his chest and he glances down at them for a second before bringing his lips back up to mine.

Making out horizontally is about a million times better than standing up. Josh’s hands are all over me, his kisses dotting my neck down to my collarbone and making me squeal. I run my fingers down his chest, then slightly up his abs, under his shirt. He grunts with pleasure when I trace circles with my fingers just above the waistband of his jeans.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he whispers against my ear.

His erection presses against my lower belly and suddenly I can’t think of anything at all, except how badly I want him to stay here on top of me forever.

I don’t even register the compliment he just gave me, not really. I’m too busy tossing my head back as chills ripple through my body when he kisses my neck. I grab onto him, pulling his chin up for another kiss.

That’s when I hear my grandma’s voice.

“Bess? Honey are you up?”

“Shit!” I shove Josh off of me, and he rolls over, hopping to his feet in record time.

Eyes wide, he whispers, “Where do I go?”

“Bess, honey, I’m home!” Grandma says from the hallway.

“The floor,” I whisper, pointing to the small space between the other side of my bed and the wall. Unless Grandma hops on my bed and looks over the other side, she shouldn’t see him. And Grandma’s not much of a hopping person, thank God.

He drops down, flattening himself against the carpet the second before my door opens.

I’m still fully clothed, laying on top of my comforter, but I pretend like I’ve been sleeping, and like she just startled me awake.

“Oh, hi Grandma,” I say, faking a yawn. I look around my room as if I’m in a sleepy daze. “I’m so tired, I guess I fell asleep.”

Grandma stands in my doorway, her hand on the doorknob.
Please don’t step inside.
“You feeling better?”

I nod, probably a little too eagerly, but she doesn’t notice. “Great,” she says, giving me a smile. “I won three hundred bucks at bingo tonight!”

“That’s awesome,” I say.

“You want to have a midnight snack with me?” Any other time I would say yes, both because I’m obsessed with eating and I never like to disappoint Grandma. But this time is different. I shake my head. “I think I’ll just go to bed. I’m pretty tired.”

“Okay, well goodnight honey.”

“Goodnight.”

My heart pounds as I watch her slowly pull my door closed. I listen carefully for her footsteps retreating into the kitchen and then I launch off my bed and twist the door lock.

“Oh my God,” I murmur as I walk back to my bed. I step around the other side and motion for Josh to get up, even though he’s on his back and I kind of want to crawl on top of him and make out secretly on the floor.

“All clear?” he asks, sitting up.

I nod. “That was terrifying.”

“All before our first date,” he says with an evil grin.

“You might have to stay here until she goes to sleep so I can sneak you out,” I say, sitting on the end of my bed. He joins me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he whispers into my ear.

“I don’t want to take up too much of your time,” I say, letting my fingers slide into his. “Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

He shrugs, tugging me closer to him. “I can never get enough time with you.”

I rest my head against his shoulder and we sit like this for a few minutes, but soon that fluttery feeling in my stomach rises up again, and I’m pretty sure he feels it, too.

I stand, just to put some space between us, hoping all of these hormones will cool off.

Josh just sits there on the edge of my bed, his eyes peering up at me in this mischievous way that makes my knees weak. “Come here,” he says, curling his finger toward me.

I take a step closer, then again until I’m standing in between his outstretched legs. “Come here,” he says again.

“I am here,” I say, peering down at him.

He shakes his head, reaches up, and grabs my hips. “You could be closer.”

With one swift motion, he pulls me toward him and suddenly I’m way too close. My big gross belly is just inches from his face and he peers up, pressing a kiss to my left breast on top of my shirt. I am suddenly very aware of his hands on my body, his thumbs on top of my side fat, his face just inches from my boobs, which might be okay for a guy to look at, but they’re sitting right on top of my gross stomach.

I flinch and step backward, pulling out of his grasp. “You should go,” I say, letting out a ragged breath.

That concerned look comes back on his face. “Is everything okay?”

I nod. “Just don’t want you to stop liking me,” I say lightheartedly. That’s clearly the wrong thing to say because he frowns.

“Bess, that’s impossible.”

I shrug. “You should go, though. I don’t want to risk getting caught. My window opens and there’s no screen so maybe you can sneak out that way.”

“Okay,” he says, grabbing his keys from the floor.

We head over to the window and I open it up, pulling back the blinds for him. Before crawling out, he turns back to me, takes my face in his hands and plants a big kiss on my lips.

“Can I call you tomorrow?” he asks.

I nod.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Nothing’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he says slowly, then he kisses me again before slipping out of the window. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe me. I don’t believe myself either.

I wake up the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day, despite only getting about five hours of sleep. Falling head over heels for a girl will do that to a guy. I pop out of bed and get a pot of coffee going before my dad even wakes up. I scramble some eggs and make toast to go with it since we’re out of bacon. When my dad finally pads into the kitchen half an hour later, he gives me this incredulous look.

“Son, have you gone crazy?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask as I set two plates on the kitchen table and divide the eggs and toast between them. “Coffee’s ready.”

His lips press into a flat line. He pours himself a cup of coffee and then joins me at the table. “Son, are you in some kind of trouble and this is your way of buttering me up before you break the news?”

I laugh. “Nope. Just felt like making breakfast.”

Because my life is fucking awesome now that I have the attention of the greatest girl ever.

“All right, guess I won’t argue with that,” Dad says, diving into his food. “Should be an easy day today because we got all the new inventory stocked last week. I do have a couple of guys coming in to buy surfboards, so that’ll bring in some good money.”

“Cool,” I say, taking a sip of coffee. I wonder if it’s too early to call Bess? Obviously it is. But I wish I could. I miss her voice, her smile, everything. Damn, I am falling hard.

The only downside to our wonderful night together after the barn incident is how she shoved me away so quickly. I’m trying not to let it get to me, because I know the girl likes me. She’s probably just following the advice of her girlfriends and making me work for it. That’s fine with me, of course. I’ll work as hard as it takes.

After breakfast, I take a fast shower and get dressed for work, once again thanking the universe for giving me a job where regular summer clothes are the same as a work outfit. Before I leave, I pop my head into Abigail’s room.

“You coming with me to the store?”

She rolls over in bed, her hair all tangled around her head. “Will any of your hot friends be there?”

I think of Bryce, and how he’ll be escorted out of the store of he even tries to step foot inside after the shit he pulled. And Colby is still out of the country, and those are the two friends she’s talking about. “No, but your life doesn’t have to revolve around guys who are too old for you,” I say.

She blows a raspberry and rolls back over, pulling the covers up to her head. “No, thank you. Boys are life.”

With a snort, I let her go back to sleep. On the drive to work, I keep glancing over at the empty passenger seat, remembering how damn perfect it was when Bess was sitting there. Today at work, I plan on coming up with the perfect romantic date for us. I’ve never been much of a romance guy, but I’m older and wiser and more in love than I’ve ever been, so it’s time to become a romance guy.

I know Bess likes science stuff and exploring museums, so I rack my brain trying to think of a way to make that into a fun date, but all of the museums close before we get off work. I spend most of my morning playing on the work computer at the front counter, looking up places to take her, but nothing seems to work out.

Then I stalk her Instagram feed again, trying to find pictures of things she likes, hoping it’ll spark a romantic date idea. She has so many pictures of Missy, her cat, and it makes my heart hurt. She really loved her cat, and now she’s gone. It was so sweet when she was telling me about Missy during one of our emails. I keep thinking that a girl who loves an animal that much would probably love a person even more.

My phone buzzes and it lights up that mushy part in my chest that’s been dying to hear from her.

Bryce:
you at work? I’m gonna come by

My jaw clenches. Bryce is seriously the dumbest asshat alive. I check the time—nine in the morning—and decide that I’ll just have to text Bess and hope she’s awake soon. She’s lucky and has the day off work today, which is terribly unlucky for me because I don’t get to see her on my lunch break. But first, I have to get rid of this asshole.

Josh:
You’re not allowed here anymore, not after the shit you pulled with my girlfriend.

Bryce:
Girlfriend? Wtf dude? A fuck buddy is one thing, but girlfriend?

Josh:
Go fuck yourself. I’m done being your friend.

After a few deep breaths to calm my rage, I text Bess but she doesn’t reply right away. She’s probably still sleeping, and the mental image of her in bed makes my heart flutter and my pants tighten. I’d really love to be snuggled under the sheets with her right now.

The next time my phone goes off, it’s an international call from my best friend.

“Colby,” I say, answering the phone with a shit ton of enthusiasm. “What’s going on?”

“What’s got you so happy?” he says with a laugh.

“I met a girl. And she fits every item on my list, which means she’s perfect.”

“Nice. I want to meet her when I get back, okay?”

“Totally,” I say, grinning from ear to ear. In the background, I can hear Maddie talking.

“What’s he talking about?” she says.

“He met a girl,” Colby tells her. To me, he says, “What’s her name?”

“Actually, Maddie knows her,” I say, glancing up at the store to make sure I’m not inadvertently ignoring any customers. “They had classes together last year.”

There’s a shuffling of noise while Colby relays the information to his girlfriend and then Maddie gets on the phone. “I know her? Who?”

“Bess Navarre.”

“Oh my God, really?” she says so high-pitched that I have to hold the phone away from my ear. “That is so cool! I love her! She’s the sweetest!”

“Have you been drinking?” I ask. Each sentence she said was higher and more slurred than the last one.

“Mayyyybe,” she says back, laughing. “But seriously. O-M-G, I’m excited for you, Josh. Bess is so sweet and so cool.”

“I know. I’m falling for her hard.”

“Just be careful, okay? She’s kind of . . . sensitive.”

I grip the phone tighter. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well . . . I shouldn’t be telling you but . . . she’s insecure about her looks, mostly her weight. She’s always complaining that she doesn’t think she’s good enough to get a guy. So, just make sure you let her know that doesn’t bother you. I keep telling her the right guy won’t be bothered by it.”

“What’s with this shit?” I say, letting out a big breath of air. “The girl isn’t fat! So what if she’s not rail thin? Honestly it’s hot as hell when a girl has curves.”

“Amen to that,” Colby says. I must be on speakerphone.

“Oh yeah, before I forget. I’ll explain it more later, but we’re currently not talking to Bryce, okay?”

“Okay,” they say at the same time. I like that my friends are good enough friends to just take my word on it and not ask questions.

“Hey, Maddie?” I ask, before we get off the phone. “Do you have any suggestions for me? Any way I can really win her over?”

“Just be yourself,” she says. “And let her know you don’t care about her weight.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“We’ll be back home soon,” Colby says. “We’re thinking of throwing a party when we get back, so you bring your new girl, okay? I want to meet her.”

My girl. I like the sound of that. “Sounds good. Ya’ll be safe.”

I ring up a few customers and watch my dad sell some expensive surf boards before lunch. I can’t stop thinking about what Maddie said, and what Bryce said for that matter. So what if Bess was a little chubby when we were kids? She’s certainly not now. She’s sexy as hell. I hate the idea of her being ashamed of her body because of what pricks like Bryce have told her in her past. I’ll do whatever it takes to convince her that she’s beautiful and has nothing to worry about.

A short while later, my phone alerts me that I have a new email.

From: BessNavarre

To: TheFlyingJosh

Subject: ughhhhhhhh

Yeah so my stupid phone is dead! I woke up this morning wanting to text you, but I can’t, and although it’ll probably only take a few minutes to charge up enough to turn it on, I’m sending you this frustration email to pass the time. How’s work? I’m enjoying my day off…so much better than working… ha! Can’t wait to see you again. Or talk to you. Or text you… stupid phone.

See ya,

Bess

I smile as I read, picturing her cute voice saying all the words to me. Knowing her phone will be on soon, I send her another text.

Josh:
So about that date. I’m taking you out tonight at six. Dress comfortable. I think you’ll really like the date I have planned.

A few minutes later, my phone chimes while I’m helping a customer and it drives me crazy waiting to read her reply. Finally, I get a chance to sneak off and check my phone.

Bess:
Sounds good. Can’t wait!

I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling so much. The date has been arranged and she’s agreed to it. Now all I have to do is pull off my super romantic plan.

Knowing I can’t do this alone, I call my sister. “Hey,” I say when she answers. “I need your help.”