In Focus (2009) (35 page)

Strange. He didn’t usually get nervous before a performance, and what was this but a performance? Only, it was more than a performance, it was one of the most crucial appearances he’d ever made.

His sister had refused to join them and he didn’t blame her. He’d acted like a prize shit when he spoke to her.

His birth mother was sitting beside him looking slightly sad, and he wanted to say something to her but couldn’t think what. She turned her head and gave him a tentative smile so he gathered up his courage in both hands. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘What about?’

‘I’m sorry I treated you so badly. It’s no excuse but I was in shock – and denial. I’m not just saying I’m sorry, either. I really mean it.’

The smile that lit her face brought a lump to his throat. He’d done so little, only said a few words, and she looked as if he’d given her the moon.

‘I didn’t mean to upset you,’ she said, ‘but I’d been waiting for years, hoping, praying that you were alive, and I just couldn’t wait another minute to see you.’

‘I don’t remember anything from before the kidnapping, I’m afraid.’

‘Why should you? You were barely three.’

He looked at her hands, clasped so tightly in her lap that the knuckles showed white. ‘Are you nervous – about this press conference, I mean?’

She nodded. ‘I’m not the sort to seek the limelight. I’m afraid of saying something wrong, making things worse.’

‘Well, the less you say, the less likely you are to spoil anything. But it was me who nearly destroyed my career, treating you like that and treating Gerry badly, too. I need to apologize to him as well.’ He gave a little shrug. ‘I’m not saying I’ll ever turn into a saint, mind, but I will be more careful how I treat people in future.’

‘You enjoy being in the limelight, don’t you?’ she said wonderingly.

‘I love it. Well, I do normally. Not today.’

‘How strange! Your sister is a very private person, quite the opposite to you.’

He suddenly noticed that Edward was beaming at the security man. His cousin stood up and beckoned, so Pete went across to him and Linda followed.

‘Beth’s outside. They wouldn’t let her in without an authorization. Will you fetch her?’

Pete stared at him in shock. ‘Me?’

‘Yes. She’s changed her mind about appearing, it seems. The least you can do is apologize for how you treated her and try to make your peace with her first.’

‘You’d do it better.’

Edward raised one eyebrow, stared at him and said nothing.

‘I’ll go and fetch her in, if you like,’ Linda volunteered.

‘No. Pete should do it.’

The two men locked gazes then Pete sighed and gave in. ‘All right.’

Now he was not only nervous about the show, but nervous – no, make that terrified – of meeting his sister again. But when Edward got that steely look in his eyes, there was no moving him.

Pete swallowed hard and followed the security man out.

He saw Beth turn round as the door opened. When he moved towards her, she looked as if she had a strong urge to flee, but she held her ground, waiting for him to come to her.

He’d never found words so difficult. He looked round the large space which seemed to be a small ballroom. On the other side of a partition wall, he could hear crowd noises. They seemed to be getting restive. ‘I – um, think we need to talk before we meet the press. This isn’t the best of places, but at least we’ve got it to ourselves. Will you listen to me?’

She nodded and gestured towards the partition. ‘There sound to be a lot of people in there.’ She looked even more nervous than her mother.

‘Yeah. The whole circus, TV, radio, newspapers, you name it.’

‘Oh dear.’

‘Never mind them. They’re strangers. It’s the family who matter.’

She nodded.

‘First I want to say how sorry I am for treating you so badly. And – well, you might like to know that I’ve already apologized to your mother.’

‘
Our
mother.’

‘I’m sorry. I’ve not quite got my head round that yet. It keeps surprising me. She seems nice.’ He rubbed his temple where a headache had been threatening all day.

Beth’s voice was sharp. ‘She
is
nice.’

‘I didn’t mean to suggest she wasn’t.’ He touched her arm briefly. ‘This isn’t easy, is it? If you assume there’s goodwill behind what I say, even if the words are awkward, it’ll help – because there is.’

‘Sorry for jumping down your throat. If it’s any consolation, I’m finding it hard too. And I’m not nearly as good with words as you are.’

‘Why did you change your mind about appearing today?’

‘I watched a family reuniting, in spite of their differences, and suddenly I wanted that too. I realized it’d be wrong to refuse to speak to you, wrong to let the media pillory you, wrong to avoid Edward because of you. I expect you weren’t yourself when you spoke to me before.’

‘No, I wasn’t. I’d just broken up with my wife. Not that that’s any excuse. It really threw me when you said you were my sister. I didn’t even know I was adopted.’ He closed his eyes for a moment, searching for words. ‘I’m not sure I know who I am any longer. I’m a bit old for finding myself. You’d think I’d have done that by forty-one, wouldn’t you?’

A scrape of laughter escaped her. ‘It must run in the family. I’m completely off balance at the moment.’

‘You’ve been crying.’

‘Oh dear, does it show so clearly?’

‘Yeah. Pity there isn’t a make-up department here.’

‘I’ve probably got something in my handbag. Maybe I can improve things a bit.’ Beth fumbled in it, her hands shaking so much she dropped the whole bag.

He picked it up. ‘Let me. Goodness, you’re a tidy one. My ex used to carry the kitchen sink round in her daytime handbags. There. Is that it?’ He pulled out a small pouch.

‘Yes.’ She tried to open the foundation and couldn’t.

‘Here. Let me make you up. Your hands are shaking too much. You don’t have to worry, I’m used to doing this. I’ve spent time on the stage, though I wasn’t the world’s best actor.’

With swift, smoothing movements he put the make-up on, then pulled out a lipstick. ‘Hold still.’ When he’d finished he studied her. ‘Don’t cry any more.’

‘Does it still show that I’ve been crying?’

‘Not as much. Can I borrow a tissue?’ He blew his nose hard. ‘I’m a bit wobbly too. We’re a right old pair, aren’t we? Oops!’ He blotted a tear that had escaped her control. ‘No more tears, now.’

The door at the back of the room opened and Edward appeared, studying them anxiously then walking towards them. ‘Everything all right?’

It was Beth who answered, speaking as honestly as she always did. ‘It’s starting to mend, I think.’

‘Good. Are you ready to face them now?’

Pete looked at Beth. ‘Are we?’

‘Not really, but I’d like to get it over with.’

Edward smiled at them both. ‘I’ll speak first, OK?’

She nodded agreement.

He gave Pete a nod of approval, then turned to Beth, put a hand on each of her shoulders and kissed her on the nose. ‘You’ll be fine.’

When he took his hands away, she grabbed one of them and held on to it tightly as he led her to the door.

Pete followed them, looking enviously at their clasped hands.

In the waiting area Edward picked up the prepared statement. ‘Shall we go and meet them?’

Pete took the statement from him and ripped it in half. ‘You won’t need this. I’m telling them the truth. There have been too many lies.’

Edward gaped at him. ‘That’s much too risky, Pete. I drew this up really carefully. We don’t want to give them anything to hit you with afterwards.’

‘I’ll risk that.’ He looked at his sister and mother. ‘My whole life has been a lie. I need to clear that up and start afresh.’

‘I don’t know anything about dealing with the media,’ Linda said, ‘but I must admit I always prefer to tell the truth.’

‘So do I.’ Beth gave them a faint smile. ‘And I’m the world’s worst liar anyway.’

Edward threw up his hands. ‘Go gently, then. Remember: don’t tell them more than you have to.’

When they got out to the front, Edward calmed the audience down and explained briefly what had happened to Pete as a child. He then handed over to his cousin, hoping desperately that he wouldn’t blow it.

Pete turned to the expectant media. ‘We’re here to show you a united family front,’ he began, pausing for a moment to let a ripple of surprise at this frankness die down. ‘And I think I can safely say that we
are
starting to unite. But it hasn’t been easy. At first I was in denial and I didn’t behave well – though not nearly as badly as a certain newspaper would have you think.’

His mother patted him on the arm and he turned to smile down at her, a gesture that would touch the heart of a nation later on.

He turned back to the audience. ‘My marriage had just broken up when I found out I’d been kidnapped as a child, and that my mother – who still feels like my mother and whom I love dearly – wasn’t my birth mother. Can you imagine how that felt?’

More murmuring.

‘Since then, I’ve started to get used to it. I’ve apologized to my birth mother and sister for trying to deny the truth,’ he gestured to the two women beside him, ‘and I hope we’ve now taken the first steps towards becoming a family. It looks as if I’m going to be in the very fortunate position of having two mothers, not to mention a sister and a niece whom I didn’t know about. I hope they feel as fortunate about having me in their family as I feel about being part of it.’

He sat down and the audience burst into spontaneous applause.

Edward stood up and introduced Linda.

Her voice quavered as she started to speak and Pete reached out to hold her hand. She smiled at him gratefully and started again. ‘Sorry. I’m a bit nervous. I’m not used to this sort of thing. I just wanted to say how happy I am to have found my son again after all these years, and to know he’s been well loved and cared for by his other mother.’ She dropped back into her seat as if her legs wouldn’t hold her a minute longer.

Pete was still holding her hand, as the cameras recorded.

Edward introduced Beth, worried that the traces of weeping still showed clearly.

Her voice didn’t wobble, but she sounded brusque. ‘I didn’t want to come today. I don’t like being on show. But I wanted to support my brother and stop this stupid witch hunt. We’re all human beings, with faults and virtues. No one here, least of all Pete, is a villain. We three are finding our way towards being a family again, so please . . . leave us in peace to do that. It’s not easy after thirty-eight years apart.’ She looked sideways and smiled at the sight of Pete comforting her mother. ‘I think we’re doing pretty well, though.’

She sat down with an audible sigh of relief.

Edward stood up. ‘One member of the family couldn’t be here today, my aunt, Pete’s adoptive mother. She’s had a stroke and she’s still in hospital, but she did allow me to film her saying a few words on her son’s behalf.’ He gestured and the room went dark, then Sue appeared on a screen, looking frail, her mouth turned down a little at one side, but her words clear enough.

‘I wanted to say how horrified I was to find my adopted son had been kidnapped. I’d never, ever have taken another woman’s child unless it was offered willingly, which I thought Pete was. Linda, I apologize unreservedly for causing you such pain. You bore a wonderful son and I hope we can share him from now on. If you’d like to come and see me, I’ll start by showing you all his childhood photos and probably boring you to tears, then we’ll see if we can go on from there together. Thank you.’

Edward gestured again and the lights came on, revealing Linda dabbing at her eyes. He looked at the audience. ‘There aren’t many people who get such a public display of love and support. I’m quite certain Pete won’t let any of them down. Thank you. We’re not taking any questions. I know Pete is as upset about this media beat-up as Linda and Beth are, so I hope you’ll excuse us now.’

Pete stood up and led the way out, offering his arm to his mother once they were clear of the table.

Somehow Edward managed to get next to Beth and put his arm round her shoulders, ignoring the flashing camera lights. ‘You all right?’

‘Better than I’d expected.’

‘Thanks for coming.’

‘I’m glad I did.’ She looked ahead to see her mother introducing Pete to Nat. ‘My brother’s certainly a charmer.’

‘He is. But I’m sure he meant what he said today. He abandoned the prepared statement, after all, and tried to tell the truth. That’s not something you do lightly when your whole career is at stake.’

‘If he hurts her again, I’ll kill him with my bare hands.’

‘And if he hurts you, I’ll do the same.’

She stopped walking to lay her head on his shoulder with a sigh. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired in all my life.’

‘I was going to suggest we go back to my place if we all still needed to talk.’

Linda turned, having overheard this. ‘No. I think we’ve talked enough today. Pete is going to take me to meet his mother tomorrow. Until then, I just want to go home and be quiet with Nat.’

Pete looked at Beth searchingly. ‘You all right?’

She smiled. ‘I’m the same as my mother. I need to sleep for a million years. It’d be nice if you came round tomorrow to meet your niece and your great-nephew, though, Pete.’

He looked at her in horror. ‘I’m a
great-uncle
? For goodness’ sake, don’t tell anyone. I’m too young, surely!’

Suddenly they were all laughing.

As they walked out to the car, Beth turned to Edward. ‘Can I come home with you?’

He beamed at her. ‘I didn’t dare ask.’

‘I doubt I’ll be much use for anything but sleeping.’

‘As long as you sleep next to me, I’ll not complain. Does that mean that I’m making progress with my courting?’