In Love and War (12 page)

Dylan
went to turn on the shower and strip, knowing he was about to use sex to delay raising a tense subject for a little while longer. If she stormed out on him tonight, at least they’d had this first.

Chapter 11

Dylan gave good shower. His hands flowed like warm water down Ariela’s naked curves as he dropped to his knees before her. Nudging her feet apart
, he held her firmly by the hips and moved in for a taste, then stayed for the meal.

Ariela gripped his hair and felt her blood heat to scalding. Looking down, she watched droplets bead on his thick lashes and fall from his nose. When she wiped his wet brow his murmur of appreciation rumbled through her very core like a deep echo. His thumbs rubbed and spread her for the fingers that followed. She gasped as he lifted her off her heels with every long thrust. His tongue was relentless and carried Ariela over the edge of pleasure. She cried out, her body buffeted by forces beyond her control, then collapsed in front of him. Dylan drew her close and held her as the water rained down over them both.

Still feeling buzzed and shaky, Ariela thought it best if she stayed on her knees a little longer, but there was no reason Dylan had to. Her hand followed his thigh to his erection. She took hold of him and stroked slowly, loving how solid, how silky he felt.

Nuzzling against his neck and shoulder, she made a suggestion. “Why don’t you stand?”

He looked surprised then kissed her and rose to his feet. She didn't want to rush this. In her eyes, Dylan was the living embodiment of masculine beauty, every inch of him. He deserved some admiration. Following along his shaft with the sensitive pads of her fingers, her heartbeat spiked with excitement when it jumped as she reached the end.

“I take it you like this?” She cupped him with her other hand, knowing she was in control.

“Yes.” His eyes slowly closed and a deep rumble of pleasure escaped him. Water splashed off his shoulders and coursed down his chest and torso in rivulets.

Ariela leaned forward and kissed him, just the tip. When she looked up, he was watching her, every muscle in his body locked with tension. Emboldened, she gave him a little lick next. His flavor was so faint, she could barely taste him. There was a quiet, desperate look in his eyes when she glanced up now. She
’d toyed with him long enough. This time she didn't tease, she didn’t retreat. When her mouth closed around him, Dylan’s fingers burrowed into her hair. He cupped her head, his breathing labored, audible in the enclosed shower.

She knew he was close when his arms shot out. He planted his hands on either side of the shower for support as he shuddered and shook.

Feeling pleased with herself, Ariela gave him one final kiss then rose to her feet. Dylan wrapped his arms around her, stroking her back, her bottom. Ariela stretched to shut off the water and he kissed her neck, her jaw, and finally her mouth.

“Thank you
.” His eyes were dark with emotion.

“My pleasure.
You’ve been so good to me. I thought it was time I returned the favor.”

“I’ll never push the issue, but I appreciate that you offered.”

Ariela pressed herself against him and her smile wavered when she realized she’d just expressed her love for him for the first time. That act, freely given, spoke volumes even if she refused to voice the words. It wasn’t clear if Dylan was aware of the fact. Doubtful. But she felt better, lighter now, because at least she was ready to acknowledge the truth to herself. She’d fallen for the guy, hard, and there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him.

“Come on,”
said Dylan, breaking into her thoughts. “We really should put something in our stomachs. I’m sure Max is looking for food too.”

While Dylan called for pizza delivery, Ariela went into the bedroom and pulled on his discarded shirt. She loved the scent of him and wanted to wrap herself up in it. However, that was all she put on.

Dylan turned when she walked out. He raked his fingers through his damp hair and gave her a flicker of a smile. “Ariela, I’ve got news.”

Sensing his uneasiness, she took a deep breath. “I’m…I guess I’m waiting.”

“I’m going back to Iraq.”

Her eyes went wide with alarm. “You’re what?” she asked sharply.

“I got a call I never thought would come.”

Her eyes narrowed. “How long have you known?”

“I was on the phone when you came in,” he admitted quietly.

“And you didn’t
say
anything?” She was hurt and angry.

He threw
up his arms, looking wretched. “Because I knew how you’d take it. Can you blame me for wanting to put off a fight?”

“
Yes! Yes, I can blame you. You lied, Dylan. You led me to believe you were through covering conflicts like Iraq.”

“
I didn’t lie. To my knowledge, I was done. The possibility that I might be pulled back in was remote. It wasn’t worth mentioning.”

“
Withholding information like that is the same as lying from where I’m standing.”

“
Ariela, please, you need to hear something. Then you’ll understand why I have to go. Would you listen? Please?” He reached for her, but she pulled away.

“
Don’t touch me.” Ariela crossed her arms and glared at him. “I’ll listen, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust you again.”

“
Just hear me out then decide. Maybe you should sit down.”

He gestured toward his desk chair and she backed up to it and spun it around, slowly lowering herself onto the seat.

He began to pace, his hand squeezing the back of his neck. Tension radiated off of him like heat.

“
When I went to Baghdad in 2003, a colleague introduced me to Khalid Gouda. He was fresh out of engineering school, with a young wife, and a new baby. He needed to work and I needed a translator. We hit it off right away. Working so intimately with someone like that, day in and day out, you grow really close to them. I shared many meals with Khalid and Hanna. I played with their son.”

Then Dylan stopped and
turned, his face haggard. “Five months ago, he’d smuggled someone to me at my hotel. The interview went long. After taking the man back, Khalid was hurrying home, trying to beat the curfew, when he came upon a random checkpoint. They saw his speed—he probably didn’t know if it was even safe to stop—and they shot him through the windshield before he could reach them. Everyone’s grown jumpy after so many bombings. Just one more regrettable incident among hundreds.”

Ariela sniffled, holding herself back from going to him, even though she yearned to comfort Dylan for having to experience the grief all over again.

“What do you know about honor killings?” His question surprised her.

She frowned.
“Nothing.”

“
A law was passed when Saddam was in power, outlawing the practice. That didn’t mean it stopped entirely, but it happened less frequently. But since Saddam was overthrown, there’s been a huge jump in honor killings. Women can be condemned without proof of sexual impropriety. Just the suspicion she’s had sex before marriage, or outside her marriage, can be a death sentence.”

“
What does this have to do with you? With your friend?”

“
Hanna’s in hiding.”

Ariela stared at him, horrified.
“Why?”

“
A good friend of Khalid’s visited her after his death and left money for their son. Hanna’s family immediately assumed he’d paid her for services rendered.”

“
How could they?” Ariela’s temper flared at the indignity and injustice.

“
You don’t know the culture. They believe she dishonored the family so she fled with the boy. Friends have been sheltering her for two months.”

“
I still don’t understand how this involves you.”

“
Hanna knew I was trying to write a story on this very thing when Khalid was killed. She wants to tell it. But she’ll only talk to me.”

“
Won’t she be in more danger if she meets with you?”

“
We’re taking precautions to minimize the risk to all of us. Hanna’s in danger every day of her life now. Maybe there’s something I can do to help her. I have to try.”

Ariela stood. It was time he understood where she was coming from.
“My turn.”

**
*

Dylan didn
’t know what to expect when she squared her shoulders and looked back at him, her eyes as haunted as his probably were. He knew that look. He’d seen it a million times already, in a million different faces. Pain was universal.

“
When I was twelve, I came home from school and there were cars in front of our house, in our driveway. Two of them were squad cars. I saw my grandma’s car and I remember peeking in the backseat. I wondered if she’d brought me anything.”

Her eyes were
glittering when they met his and she covered her mouth for a second, as if holding back a sob. He took a step toward her, but she shook her head and waved him back.

“
Don’t. Not yet.”

Dylan nodded.
“Okay.”

“
Everyone was in the living room when I went inside. My mom looked white. I’d never seen her like that. My dad’s partner, Ryan, was sitting on the coffee table with his elbows on his knees. He was leaning over, holding my mom’s hands. He was crying, Dylan. He was crying. It terrified me. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I could tell my mom wasn’t hearing it either. She was in shock.”

Now Ariela
’s tears flowed, one after another, and he watched, feeling helpless because she wouldn’t let him any closer.

“
There are tissues behind you, on the desk,” he reminded her.

“
Thank you.” She turned and yanked a few out of the box. “That’s when my grandma finally noticed me. She tried to steer me away from the living room, but I wouldn’t move. I fought her. She had to pick me up and carry me to my room. It was too late. I knew what had happened. I’d seen my mom’s face. It was like a bowling ball fell right through my chest. It wasn’t until the funeral that I learned the whole story. A stupid gas-station robbery. My dad pulled a woman out of harm’s way, just in time…for her. He took the bullet. They called it an honorable death.” She snorted. “As if that’s supposed to make us happy and proud. It didn’t, not really. All we knew was suddenly there was this gaping black hole in the very center of our lives.”

She blotted her eyes and sniffled into the wad of tissues. “
I couldn’t go up to the casket. I could barely make it through the service. My older cousin took me out and we played jacks in the lobby of the funeral home. She let me keep them afterwards.” She gave Dylan a bleak smile. “My mom never recovered. She didn’t want to. She was barely a shadow of herself. I never heard her laugh again. Never saw her smile. I had to remind her to eat, to get out of bed, to bathe. She cried—all the time. I was so grateful when the doctor prescribed sleeping pills. I couldn’t handle her grief. I thought she’d get better. I never dreamed she’d take all those pills at once after I left for school. She simply couldn’t face life without him.”

Turning to grab two more dry tissues, she was blinking back fresh tears when she faced him again. “
My grandma picked me up later that day and took me to live with her. I lost my dad, my mom, my home, my friends, and had to start over in a new school where no one understood why I was so quiet. No one understood me.”

Dylan was crying when he pulled Ariela close and held her tight.
“I understand.”

He closed his eyes in relief when she grabbed him around the waist, holding onto him just as hard.

“I don't want to lose you,” she whispered into his shirt.

“
That’s the last thing I want too.”

“
And I’m still pissed at you, but I understand a little better now. I feel so selfish. I hate it.”

“
Give me seven days, ten tops. I’ve got someone already on the ground setting things up before I even get there.”

“And you’ll be careful?”

He stroked Ariela’s hair, needing to commit everything about her to memory. “I’m always careful. I don’t take stupid risks.”

There was no reason to bring up calculated risks.

***

Ariela agreed to stay with Max at Dylan
’s this time. He’d probably handle Dylan’s absence better if he weren’t uprooted too. Naturally, Ariela refrained from mentioning she’d most likely cope better if she were here with Max as well. It might prove more comforting if she could sense Dylan around her, smell him on the sheets in the bedroom.

Then Dylan was back on the phone, checking his flights and arranging a rendezvous with his friend Jim, who was covering political demonstrations in Adana. They would hook up in Amman and hopefully catch a flight across to Baghdad. They didn
’t want to face a fifteen hour, high speed race across the dangerous desert if security precautions temporarily closed Baghdad International Airport again. If that happened, there would be no way he’d be done and back in a week’s time. Ali Hadad, their new translator, would meet up with them in Baghdad.

Ariela stood helplessly by while Dylan packed his carryall. He made sure to include extra batteries and blank tapes for his small recorder. Afterwards, he gave Max ten minutes of all-out play on the carpet, wrestling with the dog and rolling around like a big kid. Watching them, her heart melted even more.