In Love and War (31 page)

Elio is the next to be caught. He sets out to plant a bomb in the Piazza San Marco and doesn’t return. A day later, they hear that Carità has him in the Villa Triste. There is a meeting in the clearing at which the Professor lays out various plans of attack. But even as he speaks, it is clear that only one course is now possible. Everyone looks at Esmond and Bruno. Carità thinks of himself as a vengeful angel, invulnerable. It is up to them to prove him mortal.

The two young men arm themselves with MAB 38s, Berettas, grenades, and drive down into the city. Esmond fastens his Old Wykehamist tie around his head to keep his hair from his eyes. The rebels come out to watch them as they go. Tosca gives a small wave, Creighton salutes. It is evening, the 15th of June. They drive in silence and pull up a block away from the Villa Triste. They step out into the warm air, both of them breathing hard. At the entrance to the high, grey apartment block, they stop and embrace.

‘For Ada,’ Esmond whispers, gripping Bruno.

‘For all of them,’ Bruno says. ‘
In bocca al lupo
.’

‘
Crepi il lupo
.’

They move swift and silently into the courtyard. The lower levels of the building are dark, but there is a light up on the third floor, the sound of someone playing the piano. Two guards stand beside Carità’s ambulance, smoking. They close in until they are breathing the Blackshirts’ smoke and then two bright flashes from two guns, the explosions ricocheting up the steep walls of the building, and the guards slump forward. The piano stops. They are inside and climbing up a darkened stairwell.

Esmond moves easily, his legs taking the steps two, three at a time, his heart pumping fiercely in his chest, his revolver out in front. They reach the second landing and pause, panting. The sound of many feet coming down from above, guns being loaded, shouts that become whispers as the Blackshirts approach. The damp, nostalgic air of the old building. Bruno takes out a grenade, pulls the pin, waits for a moment and then, leaning out into the empty space in the stairwell, hurls it upwards. They press themselves against the wall and listen to the falling plaster, a man screaming, and then Carità’s voice.

‘It’s over now. I’ve got men outside. Alberti is on his way with stormtroopers. You’re trapped rats. If you throw down your guns, come up here with your hands raised, I’ll make sure it’s quick. You’ll get to keep your bollocks, unlike your friend Elio.’

Bruno looks across at Esmond and gives a little nod. Esmond shrugs and smiles, pushes the tie further up his forehead. They run up the stairs, firing all the time, but now there are doors opening on the landings, smoke grenades being dropped, the flash of guns from all sides. Two Blackshirts fling themselves out of the fumes. Bruno steps around them, but Esmond is caught in the face by a fist and stumbles. He pulls the trigger of his revolver, but it jams, or he’s out of bullets, and then it all seems to slow down as he reaches round to pull the MAB-38 from his
shoulder. A volley of gunfire which he has time to stand back and watch as it comes towards him. He’s hit in the collarbone and the thigh and falls, groaning. He realises that he hasn’t even seen his enemy yet, and a sudden surge of energy lifts him to his feet. He makes it up another flight of steps before there, above him, grinning, is Carità, Bruno lying crumpled at his feet. Esmond sees the pudgy knees, the quiff of white hair, before a rifle butt thuds down onto his skull, bringing blackness.

Esmond wakes to the sound of music. Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony. He’s in a long hall, balconied French windows open to the courtyard several floors below. A man in a monk’s habit, dark hair swept over a balding crown, is playing a grand piano. The bass notes throb in time with the pain in Esmond’s shoulders. He realises his arms have been tied behind his back. He is standing on a high stool beneath a wooden frame. Carità sits at a table beside the frame, eating slices of beef which he spears and presses between fleshy lips. There is a bottle of wine on the table and he pours himself a glass, stands, and kicks the stool from under Esmond’s feet. Esmond’s arms, tied at the wrists, swing up behind him as he drops. His muscles spasm, fight for a moment, then a splintering sound as his shoulder-balls leave their sockets. The dreadful parting of bone and with it a pain that brings darkness.

He is in a small, windowless room, blue-lit. He is naked, tied to a chair that is raised on a platform, almost a stage. Carità stands beside a car battery, holding two wires in gloved hands. The ends of these wires are taped to the end of Esmond’s cock,
to his lips, to his earlobes. They are pressed into the weeping bullet wounds in his thigh and his collarbone. He is astonished at the noises that come from him, not language, not human. He is losing his words, forgetting books, people, names, giving himself entirely to the endless moment of pain. He feels as if he is drowning in black milk. He lives strung up between the brief respites, a kind of torture in themselves, when Carità goes out for a piss, or when he lights a cigarette and blows the smoke in Esmond’s face, mouthing again, ‘Tell us where your friends are hiding. Don’t be an idiot. This can stop, just tell us where they are.’ He feels the secret inside him, wrapped like a gift, and sees how natural is Carità’s belief that he can burn, hack, bleed it out of him.

An early morning, when Carità has gone out for breakfast, and he is there, alone on the blue-lit stage, he remembers how in
The Magic Mountain
Settembrini has to give up his attempt to record the literature of suffering because
all
literature is suffering. Esmond understands, there in the eye of his pain, how wrong Mann was. Heartache, loss, loneliness: these are literature; but suffering like this, of the body, it is beyond the reach of language. Every so often, he hears, very close, a mechanical wail that gradually opens out into the screaming of a human voice.

Esmond, bound to the chair, wakes to find Carità standing under the swaying blue bulb. He is staggering drunk, his face flushed and glistening, his lips moistly fleering. Resting against his schoolboy’s legs is Anna’s collage. He reaches down and begins to peel the photographs from the backing board to which, a lifetime ago, his sister had glued them.

‘Tell me where your friends are, Esmond.’ The picture of Anna on the carousel is peeled off. ‘Where are they hiding?’ Carità flicks open a silver cigarette lighter and the photograph curls and then
burns. Carità drops it to the ground and Esmond remembers his mother, burning letters in a Shropshire field. Esmond and Rudyard, cricket and Cambridge, Anna and Aston Magna. Carità, with long, grubby grey nails, picks at the edges, tears them up from their moorings, holds them to the greedy tongue of flame. Esmond realises that he has no photograph of Ada, and it feels like a victory, for to see her burnt would be too much, would take away the one thing holding him together.

‘Tell me where your friends are hiding, Esmond. We’ll find them anyway. Do it for your father, for Goad. Imagine what they’d say if they knew you were protecting a gang of Communists. Tell us and we can walk out of here together.’ Now the picture of Esmond and his father at the Albert Hall rally. The old man’s hopeful smile, one strong arm and an empty sleeve. Esmond feels a rush of love for his father that meets a wave of certainty that he’ll never see him again. The picture flickers and burns.

Finally, the collage is scraps of charred paper, a glue-marked board. Carità leaves and Esmond, husked out, slumps in his chair and weeps.

Carità. Pliers.

‘Tell me where they are.’ The little finger of his left hand breaks. A brief moment between the snap and the detonation of pain.

‘Tell me where.’ Now the nail is pulled out of the broken finger, and it is as if his hand is on fire.

‘We know they’re in the mountains. Where?’ His ring finger. The sound is like biting on a stick of grissini.

‘Are they in the east? With the Serbians?’ Both of his thumbs, now. They take more work and Carità grunts as he breaks them.

‘In Monte Morello? Monte Oliveto? Where are they, you pig, where?’

Esmond remembers his father’s words –
anger is stronger than fear.
He lifts his head and spits, first on his own chin, then in Carità’s face.

He and Elio in the blue-lit room. Elio is owlish and astonished without his glasses, his nose flattened to his face.

‘You know, whatever happens to us––’

‘Yes?’

‘History––’ Elio’s voice is cracked and fading.

‘Yes?’

‘Brecht. You know? Burn me. Do not fear death––’

‘But rather the inadequate life.’

‘Good.’

Silence. Esmond looks down at Elio who is silent, sleeping, and smiles.

He is standing next to Bruno in the hall with the wooden frame which had dislocated his shoulders. It is hot and the French windows, with their birdcage-like Juliet balconies, are wide open. A fan turns in the corner where Father Idelfonso is still playing Schubert. Esmond cannot move his arms and presumes they are bound, but looking down he realises that it is just that they are broken, hanging at his sides. When Carità comes to punch him, to cut obscure symbols on the skin of his chest with a stiletto knife, he can do nothing. Milly enters the room wearing only stockings and suspenders, her breasts threatening to overbalance her. Bruno starts to laugh. Esmond looks across at his friend, who is covered in bruises, one of his eyes closed, his mouth empty of teeth, then back at the overweight, absurd figure of Carità’s mistress. He begins to laugh as well. Milly has crossed her arms over her chest, her mouth open in a scandalised O. Carità is irate, storming back and forth in front of them.

‘Why are you laughing? Don’t you realise that you’re going to die?’

They stop laughing when Elio’s body is dragged into the room. Father Idelfonso interrupts Schubert to play Chopin’s Funeral March. Carità goes over to the body and lifts the head back to show, beneath a face, toothless and eyeless, the opened neck darkly smiling. A whisper of breeze through the French windows. Esmond can hear Bruno’s breath coming fast and ragged. Carità lets Elio’s head drop back down and comes towards them.

‘It’s time to end this, don’t you think?’ he says, drawing out his long, ivory-handled knife. He presses the blade against Esmond’s Adam’s apple. Esmond winces and feels blood running warmly down his chest. Carità draws the blade away.

‘I’ll give you one last chance. For form’s sake.’ He smiles and walks to the end of the room, unlocking the door and opening it. ‘You may be a little unsteady on your feet, but no one will stop you. Just tell me where the camp is and you can go. Think of the taste of the air, the freedom.’

Esmond is holding his throat, blood rising between his fingers. Carità crosses to stand by the window, his hands, black with gore, twining over the balcony. ‘This is your last chance, boys.’ He looks down into the shadowy courtyard, his pudgy face caught in the evening’s dying light and nods with a sudden, serious goodwill. A glance between Esmond and Bruno – a swift decision. On legs that can hardly bear his weight, Esmond plunges forward. He stumbles, then seizes upon an image of Ada in the high room at L’Ombrellino, her arms crossed over her bare chest, the triptych behind her. From her, he draws a final burst of energy, as if love alone might staunch blood, knit bones. Now beside him, Bruno, staggering and certain. They grab Carità by his black shirt with their broken fingers, lift him up with their
broken arms, and with the very last of their strength they pull him out into the void, shrieking.

As he falls, Esmond doesn’t think of Bruno, or Carità, falling with him. He doesn’t think of Elio, or what remains of him. He doesn’t think of Alessandro in the graveyard beside the Great Synagogue or Maria Luigia buried in the cemetery at San Miniato. He doesn’t think of Tatters running at his heels along the cypress-lined mule-tracks of Bellosguardo, or the doggy cairn by the swimming pool. He doesn’t think of Philip lying in a grave in the blushing heights above Barcelona. He doesn’t think about Anna. He doesn’t think about Rudyard, who is not more than a hundred miles away, marching towards Florence. He doesn’t think of Gerald or Fiamma. He doesn’t even think of Ada, who is, however, thinking of him. Under a sky of fast-moving sulphurous clouds, she sits and pictures him, and it makes her smile, the shape of his face in her mind.

Instead, as he falls, he remembers, aged seven or eight, when a dog had died at Aston Magna. It was a stable dog, not one of the hounds, and his father had refused to call the vet. She didn’t even have a name. She’d given birth to three healthy pups who were now with Cook in the kitchen, sucking milk from plump fingers. One of the pups was still inside her, though, and after dragging herself around the yard on her hunkers for an hour, straining every so often, groaning after the stable lads had tired of their attempts to fish the dead, sack-wrapped pup out of her, she’d crawled up to Esmond’s room to die.

He’d sat with her all night, the shuddering weight of her in his arms, her head on his shoulder, sour breath in his ear until
finally she’d stopped breathing. He sat with her a while longer and then carried her out into the pale morning and buried her in his mother’s rose garden, beneath a Crown Princess Margareta. He was astonished by the lightness of her body, as if life were substantial. Back in the warmth of the house, he went into the kitchen where Cook was still sitting in a deep armchair, the silky knot of puppies in her lap, cooing a gentle song to them. He’d said nothing, but sat on the arm of the chair and watched, wonderstruck, as the new lives writhed and shivered.

He even has time, on his journey to the hard earth, to marvel at the workings of the mind, where this forgotten image from his youth has arrived, unbidden, and filled his heart with sorrow and joy. And now, as if the dog, whose mottled fur and wet nose he can see with extraordinary clarity, there beside him, has unblocked some obstruction, a flood of love comes. Anna speaking gentle words in his ear; Philip in the foliage at Cambridge, the sound of rain on leaves; Fiamma and Gerald in the island-studded river. He pictures Douglas and Orioli, Mosley and his father swinging him between them as a child, his mother burning books in a field, and he loves them all. Now the parade of figures wisps across the cyclorama of his mind, the Unfinished Symphony loud around them, the city’s angels peeling themselves from the bridges and loggias. St John and Mary Magdalene dance, wild-eyed, sweeping their tattered robes about them, Mary’s hair like a russet river. And Ada – and he swells at the thought of her, and the last thing he does, before the ground rushes up, is to send arrowing towards her everything that is left of his strength.

As he dies, he realises that the last few months of his life have been spent chasing after the wrong thing. His father’s idea of pluck. But he knows he has done enough, and that it doesn’t matter. Carità hits the ground first, a wet thud. Esmond feels
himself turn inside himself and can now see the largeness of the palpitating earth, the depth of human love, the stars in the firmament, Ada singing gently into the sulphurous sky. As he draws his last breath, he realises that this is the thing: this is joy and courage and hope. Ada. A feeling of extraordinary peace washes over him, a feeling of bliss. Ada. Blackness.