In Love with John Doe (16 page)

Lexi sank into the chair, not knowing how much longer her shaking legs could support her. “Tell me everything he said.”

“My name is Nick Delacorte.” Jack paced to the window and gazed outside. The name was somewhat familiar but still didn’t seem to fit. “I’m an attorney in Dallas. I supposedly have a fiancée, Ellen Kloss. She’s flying on the corporate jet to Jackson tomorrow. That’s all I know.”

“Did he mention why they hadn’t missed you before now?”

“Apparently I’d taken a monthlong vacation right before I came here. My father is working out of the London office. It sounds like he wasn’t too concerned.”

“And Ellen?” Lexi asked. “Was she concerned?”

If it was her and Jack hadn’t contacted her in a day—much less a month—she’d be sick with worry.

“I guess.” He shrugged. “I don’t really know.”

“You have a fiancée, Jack, I mean Nick.” Lexi’s voice began to rise despite her best efforts to control it. “How could you have forgotten about her?”

Nick raked his hand through his hair and turned to face her. “I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters,” Lexi snapped. “You told this woman you loved her. You asked her to marry you. That matters.”

“I don’t remember her.” Nick took a step and closed his fingers around her shoulders. “If I once loved her, I don’t anymore. I love you. It’s
you
I want to be with.”

Lexi longed to hold him tight and pretend they were the only two in the world. But she was a woman, not a child. She pulled away and wrapped her arms around herself. “That wouldn’t be fair.”

“To who?”

“To you. To her. To me.” Lexi blinked back tears that threatened to spill and dropped her gaze to her hands. “I love you, Ja— Nick. But until you know who you are, you can’t be a true partner to me.”

“Lex, look at me,” he demanded, his voice shaky. “I don’t care what you call me, I love you. I don’t want to lose what we have.”

Lexi lifted her eyes. Before her stood the man she loved. She lifted a hand and touched his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. Go to Dallas. Take the time to find out who you are and what you really want.”

He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss into her palm. “Come with me. You and Addie.”

“I can’t, Nick. This is something you have to do, something you have to decide on your own.” She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “If you choose to stay with your fiancée, that’s okay, too. All I want is for you to be happy.”

He lifted his chin in a stubborn tilt. “I won’t be happy if I’m not with you.”

“Until you go back, until you find out who Nick Delacorte really is and what he wants, you won’t be free to love me.” Lexi somehow managed to keep her voice steady though inside her heart was breaking. “Not the way I deserve to be loved.”

He stared at her for a long moment. “I’ll do it. Not because I want to, only because you insist.”

“Good.” Somehow Lexi managed to keep the smile on her lips. When the letter from the law firm had followed so close on the heels of Mimi’s abrupt change in wedding plans she’d found herself thinking the other shoe had dropped. But now she realized that what her grandmother used to say was true—bad news really did come in threes.

“
Nick.
Please. Don’t make any promises. Not to me. And especially not to Addie.” Lexi’s eyes sought his. “I know you believe in your heart that you’ll be back. But that may change once you’re in Dallas with your family and friends and…your fiancée.”

Nick opened his mouth to protest but shut it without speaking. She was only trying to protect her child and her own heart. He couldn’t fault her for either. But he also knew she had nothing to worry about. “I’ll respect your wishes. I won’t make any promises I can’t keep. But I do need to speak with Addie before I leave.”

“I can tell her goodbye for—”

“No.” He held up a hand and shook his head. “I refuse to leave town without explaining to her what’s going on. I won’t hurt her like that.”

“Okay.” Lexi collapsed into the chair like a balloon that had suddenly lost its air.

He wished he could pull her into his arms and console her, but he knew she wouldn’t stand for it. “What time would be best for me to come by in the morning?”

“Whatever works for you,” Lexi said. “I called Coraline earlier and took Saturday off.”

His spirits brightened. “So you’ll be available to take me to the courthouse?”

It was more a question than a statement. Lexi hated that he suddenly doubted her support.

“Of course I can.” Though she wanted to spend every last second with him her heart clenched at the thought of witnessing the reunion scene between Nick and his fiancée. “But I won’t go in with you.”

The pain on her face told the story. Nick cursed Drew for hurting her and himself for doing the same thing. No, he told himself firmly, it wasn’t the same. He wanted to stay. Drew had chosen to walk away.

“Can I spend the night?” If he had to leave tomorrow he wanted to stay as close as possible for as long as possible. “We don’t have to make love. Just holding you would be enough.”

“You have a fiancée. It wouldn’t be right.” Her expression was resolute but Nick saw the regret in her eyes.

“Can I at least have a hug?”

Lexi was about to refuse when the pleading look in his eyes changed her mind. This would be their goodbye and a last chance to feel his arms around her.

Apparently taking her silence for acquiescence, Nick took her fingers and drew her close. But when he leaned down to kiss her she turned her face, firmly reminding herself that he had a fiancée.

Still, when his lips brushed her cheek, Lexi closed her eyes, relishing the warm, intimate contact. This was the man she loved, the man she would love forever. Her heart broke at the realization that tomorrow he’d be gone. Maybe for good. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders one last time, resting her head against his neck.

After a heartbeat his arms joined around her waist and he pulled her tightly against him. “Wait for me. Promise you’ll wait for me.”

Lexi nodded. She told herself to step back but she remained where she was, unwilling to let him—and this moment—go. But in the end she would, because though he would deny it, they both knew he wasn’t hers to keep.

Not yet.

“Let me take your coat.” Lexi moved to his side as he pushed the door shut behind him.

The color of her sweater made her eyes look like warm honey and when she leaned close for his coat, she smelled like cinnamon. Though a welcoming smile sat on her lips, her eyes held no joy.

Knowing he was the cause of her sadness pierced like a knife to his heart.

“Jack,” Addie called out from the sofa, where she was sitting with a book. Her face brightened when she saw him. “Mommy is making blueberry pancakes this morning. They’re my favorite.”

“Mine, too,” he said.

“Since when?” Lexi asked.

“Since right now,” he said, feeling relieved when she smiled.

“Can I help?” She’d returned to the stove and he slipped to stand behind her, peering over her shoulder as she poured the batter onto the griddle.

“I’ve got it under control.” She lowered her voice. “I told Addie about her dad.”

“How did she take it?” he asked in a barely audible tone.

“I’m not sure.” Lexi’s brows drew together. “I hoped maybe you—”

“Let me know if you change your mind and need anything,” he called out loudly over his shoulder as he headed to the sofa. “I’m going to keep Addie company.”

Nick paused at the edge of the sofa. Though the book was open on the child’s lap, he swore she hadn’t turned a page since he’d arrived. “What are you reading?”

“Junie B. Jones,” Addie said without much enthusiasm.

“Mind if I sit?” He glanced pointedly at a spot on the sofa next to her. “If there’s enough room?”

“There’s lots,” Addie said, scootching to the middle so he could sit next to her.

“Your mother told me the exciting news.”

Addie cocked her head.

“I understand your father wants to come to Jackson and meet you.”

Addie lowered her gaze to the book on her lap.

“What do you think about that?”

Addie lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug.

“Did your mom tell you I have some exciting news of my own?”

“What is it?”

“I found out my real name,” he said, trying to summon up some enthusiasm. “I’m Nick, not Jack. And I’m going to meet my father, too.”

“You don’t know your daddy?”

“I don’t remember him.” Nick kept his tone light. “It will be like meeting him for the first time, kind of like you and your father.”

Addie pondered his words for several heartbeats. “What if he doesn’t like you?”

“I’ve thought about that,” Nick admitted. He wasn’t lying. Last night when he was in bed trying to sleep he’d wondered how today would go. “I guess if he doesn’t, that will be sad but okay. I have other people in my life who like me.”

“Me an’ Mommy like you,” Addie said.

“That means a lot to me.”

“And if my daddy doesn’t like me—”

“Then you still have your mother and me and Coraline and Sarah and Mary Karen and—”

“You’re silly.” Addie giggled and the clouds lifted from her eyes.

“You’re lucky,” Nick said. “Your daddy is coming all the way to Wyoming to see you. I have to go to Dallas to see mine.”

“Breakfast is ready,” Lexi announced.

“When?” Addie demanded. “When are you going to meet your daddy?”

Nick slowly stood, the sudden heaviness in his heart weighing him down. “Today.”

“Wait.” Addie jumped to her feet and headed for the hall. “I’ll be right back.”

“Addie,” Lexi protested. “The pancakes will get cold.”

“Just a minute, Mommy,” Addie answered without breaking stride.

Nick was just pulling out a chair when she returned. Dangling from her fingers was a gold heart-shaped locket. She pressed it into his hand. “This is for you.”

Lexi’s mouth formed a perfect O.

“What is it?” he asked as Addie scrambled up on the new bar stool that he’d bought with the last of his cash. At the time it had made sense. After all, if they were going to eat together as a family, they needed three chairs, not two. And doggone it, it still made sense.

“Open it,” Addie urged.

With suddenly clumsy fingers, Nick found the latch on the side and the locket swung open. Inside were two tiny pictures. One of Addie. One of Lexi. “This is beautiful.”

“It’s Mommy and me,” Addie said. “You wouldn’t want to put it around your neck like I do because you’re a boy. But you can put it in your pocket. When you meet your daddy today, we’ll be there with you.”

It took several attempts before Nick could swallow past the large lump in his throat. He probably shouldn’t take it—after all, the necklace was obviously special to her—but as he slipped it into his pocket he realized suddenly how better prepared he felt to face a group of strangers. “Thank you, Addie. I’ll take good care of it.”

His gaze met Lexi’s and she smiled approvingly.

Once they were all settled around the breakfast bar they said grace and then dug into the pancakes.

“How long will you be gone?” Addie asked around a mouthful of pancakes.

Nick could feel Lexi’s eyes on him. “I’m not sure.”

“But you’ll call us, right?” Addie asked. “When Mommy had to go out of town for a meeting, she called me every night so I wouldn’t worry.”

Lexi set her fork on the plate. “Honey, Nick might not have time—”

“I’ll call.” Nick ignored Lexi’s censuring look. He’d told her he wouldn’t make promises he couldn’t keep. But this was one promise he was looking forward to keeping.

“I’m glad Addie didn’t come.” Lexi pulled off Simpson Street into the parking lot of the Teton County Courthouse where the Sheriff’s office was located. A couple of tears slipped down her cheeks but she hurriedly wiped them aside before Nick could notice. “I think it would be hard for her to say goodbye.”

“I know it’s hard for me,” Nick said in a husky voice. She’d barely turned off the ignition when he reached over and took her hand. “I don’t want to leave Addie. Or you.”

Her heart turned to mush. For a second Lexi feared she would lose control. But she swallowed a couple of times, blinked rapidly for several seconds until the urge to break down and sob subsided.

“I don’t want you to leave, either,” she said finally when she found her voice. “But it’s the right thing to do. Just like having Addie meet her father.”

His thumb caressed her palm. “Even while I’m gone I want to stay involved in those negotiations.”

“Are you sure?” Lexi sputtered, finding it difficult to concentrate with his nearness assaulting her senses.

“Just because I’m leaving town for a little while doesn’t mean I no longer care.” He glanced at the courthouse then down at his watch. “I’d better go inside.”

“Good luck with—”

Suddenly his lips were on hers. The hard, fierce kiss left her head spinning.

“I’ll be back,” he said. “You can count on that.”