In my Arms Tonight (NYC Singles Book 2) (34 page)

“I’
m going to repeat once again. Telling the truth is a bad idea, Alex. Nobody wants to hear the truth. The public wants to hear lies. Stories. False promises.” Jane had her hands crossed over her chest. “That’s what gets votes.”

“Well, the truth is what they’re getting.” Alex worked his tie into a half-Windsor knot, growing testy.

Just let me get this over with
.

He’d thought and re-thought his position for the entire night, and maybe it was the conversation with Kat that had finally pushed him over the edge, but he didn’t want to deceive anybody anymore. He wanted to release his past, release the fear it had bred in him all these years, and whatever the consequences were, he’d deal with them.

At sixteen, he’d made the wrong choice by not fighting for the truth. Then, at twenty-seven, when he’d contested his first election for the city council, he’d made another bad choice—he’d hidden the past, instead of coming clean—even though he’d sworn to change. He’d decided to take the path of ease rather than honesty. Because honesty was hard. Years later, it was still hard. Being honest could mean losing not just votes, but his entire career. All his glory, all his success, respect, reputation, everything.

But if Alex had to move away from the past self he detested, he’d have to give up his selfishness. Some things were bigger than him and his ego—things like democracy, transparency, honesty, freedom of the press. As a candidate, as a public servant, as someone who’d been in government for decades, he passionately believed in those values.

So he should take a stand to preserve them. And if it was at the cost of his personal defeat, so be it.

Besides, he had faith in the people of the city.

Maybe it was overconfidence, but he doubted anybody wanted to vote for Stephanopoulos, so he still had a fighting chance.

“Tell me you at least wrote down what you’re going to say.” The frown lines on Jane’s face creased. She set the mouth of a bottle of water on her lips.

“I have it all in my head. Don’t worry.” Alex tugged down his collar.

There had been no time to write a speech at breakfast, especially as he’d made the decision to confess everything only this morning.

Jane covered her face with her palms. “God save you.”

Alex only smiled. Inexplicably, he was optimistic.

“Remember, if anything happens, I have your back.” Jane laid a hand on his shoulder.

Alex arched his eyebrows. “What’s making you so sympathetic today?”

Jane gave him a shrug. “Nothing in particular.”

“It’s something.”

Since he was adept at reading people, he saw that the words were sitting on her lips, waiting for an occasion to fall out.

Jane stuck her hands behind her back. “I told David the truth yesterday. About us, about the kids and about their real father.”

Since she still had her job, Alex assumed that it had not fractured Jane’s relationship with David too badly.

Turning emotional at the drop of a hat, Jane’s jaw trembled. “And you know what? He forgave me in the blink of an eye. The man I believed to be hard-hearted, mean and unyielding forgave me. Because he loves me. And like you said, love forgives everything.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Alex dug his nails against the side of his thighs.

The odd flicker of emotion from last night returned. Now that he could look past his hurt ego, Alex had decided to forgive Kat. All said and done, he still loved her.

It took gumption to be able to stand your ground when personal feelings were involved, as he was learning now.

Sure, he might’ve been happier if she’d never run the story, but in the long run, he didn’t want to be with a spineless woman. He wanted to be with a woman was prepared to fight for her ideals.

Softness veiled Jane’s features when she spoke. “People can never be the way you want them to be. I wish David was warmer, less controlling. But I didn’t love him because he was perfect. I married him knowing how faulty he was. But even imperfect people are capable of doing perfect things.”

Words of truth
.

Kat had never made an issue of his past. She didn’t care for his future. She was ready to work hard on herself, on them. He’d never met a woman who was prepared to work for love. Especially his love.

In some ways, he had no choice but to forgive. To forgive himself for having made mistakes and to forgive her for showing him his deepest, unconscious fears.

“If David could forgive me after I lied to him for ten years about his children, I believe anything’s possible.” Jane’s mouth opened in lingering disbelief and she shook her head.

Dropping his voice, Alex forced a thank you. Not that she deserved it, because she should have told David much earlier. But in delaying, she’d given Kat a chance to hurt him and forced him to confront the hurts and unresolved anger from his childhood.

“Thanks for telling him. And thanks for leaving me on our wedding day. If you hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to meet a wonderful woman.”

Kat was, without a doubt, the perfect woman for him. She challenged him. She forced him to grow and, in her own way, supported him. Being with her was life-changing, in the way only true love could be.

“And I wouldn’t have met David,” Jane echoed, a sly slant to her lips. “Who is this wonderful woman, by the way?”

Alex strode forward. “I’ll introduce you to her later.”

After I patch things up with her.

A nagging sense of trepidation hung around Kat as she draped one leg over the other. Three cups of coffee had done nothing to wake her up. Squeezed in a crowd of zealous reporters, she was finding it hard to exhale without choking up.

She was sick and exhausted, not at all in the mood for using her brain. Last night had not been kind on her digestive system. After hours of not eating, she’d thrown up the sandwich that Min-Jung had force-fed her at the office this morning.

The bright camera lights poked at her sleep-deprived eyes. The noise grated on her tired nerves. She was right in her element, yet she’d never felt so out of it.

If she was less afraid of foregoing her final chance to win Alex back, she’d have left ages ago and taken the day off. But Alex was priority number one.

She didn’t even want to consider what would happen if she lost this chance. Lost him.

It wouldn’t be easy to outgrow months of love. To outgrow him, regain the part of her soul that had found a home in him.

Maybe she could buy a few cats.

And become a living cliché
, her inner voice mocked.

Okay, not cats. Fish. They only needed to be fed twice a day and they’d swim around happily the rest of the time. No maintenance. Plus, according to Min-Jung, fishes were supposed to bring good luck. She could use some of that.

Or maybe a hobby would be a better idea. She’d always wanted to try her hand at photography. A few years down the line, she could be making a side income from it.

Her wishes stopped cold the minute Alex approached the microphone. The room filled with whispers.

Though she tried not to be judgmental, Alex looked like he’d tumbled out of a day at the spa and breezed through an Armani store. He was sharp, well-dressed and armed with his killer smile—everything that made Alex Alex, in other words.

There were zero traces of distress or sleeplessness on him. Zero signs of having broken up in the last twenty-four hours.

The last time
she’d
looked into the mirror in her purse, she’d looked like a cockroach the sewers had spat out in disgust.

Don’t compare
.

Whatever. He could look as dapper as he liked. She wasn’t going to be petty. Alex had more experience with crisis than her, in any case.

“Thank you all for gathering here.” He bowed his head slightly.

Kat’s entire being trembled at the timbre of his voice.

Alex flung her a brief glance before starting. Her pulse sped into an unbroken allegro.

It was stupid to build castles in the air based on one single look from him, but she was already painting the walls of her imaginary castle’s bedroom. That one look meant so much to her. Ignoring her in a roomful of people would have been easy. But he’d looked at her. Like she meant something.

Had she somehow broken through to him? Was he going to forgive her?

Hope danced around and made her feel lighter than she’d felt in hours. Life seemed brighter.

The noise quietened down when he started to speak. With reluctant strokes, Kat forced herself to jot down his words, even though she had her recorder running. Writing would help her avoid looking at him.

And as long as she didn’t look at him, she would be fine.

Alex drew in a firm blast of air.

“Good morning, my name’s Alex Summer, Democratic candidate for the city of New York. I’m here to confirm the accuracy of the article that appeared in the
New York Times
on the twenty-fourth of September.” For effect, he allowed a few quiet beats to roll by. He had no piece of paper, no pre-written speech, but he knew what he wanted to say.

Having rehearsed this in his head for years, Alex had always imagined a sense of shame, the heavy weight of failure, accompanying this speech.

But today, his chin wasn’t down. It was up.

And in that moment he understood her. He understood the freedom and strength that came from aligning yourself with your values. He stepped into Kat’s shoes and imagined himself in her situation. And he imagined himself doing what she had done, because he would have done that, too.

The thud of a camera falling anchored his floating mind.

Buckling down to the task ahead of him, Alex said, “Everything written about me is factually accurate. My birth name was Cole Granger. I changed my name in the year 1988. I was adjudicated for illegal possession of drugs in ’87. I admit to my wrongdoings completely and apologize deeply to everyone who was harmed by my actions.”

Not one of the journalists looked impressed by his honesty. Despite coming to the conclusion that admitting everything would be the best course of action, Alex found himself doubting his course of action. And then the dreaded question popped out of the blue:

“Will you be dropping out of the race?”

Keeping his chin up, Alex mustered confidence. “No, I will continue running.”

At this, shocked gasps came.

“I’m deeply regretful for the mistakes I made in my youth, but I’ve atoned for them. I’ve served my entire term in detention and completed all the hours of community service I was ordered to. In fact, I give this experience the credit for making me a better and more responsible person and for motivating me to serve the public.”

Alex replenished his dry mouth with some saliva.

“I understand that this incident could cause people to question my integrity and character, but as a representative of the people, I’ve always abided by the highest standards of conduct and will continue to do so. I will continue to fight for the middle class, better education and jobs. In my many terms as a congressman, I’ve fulfilled the promises I made to my constituents and I will do so in the future as well. I believe I have the right skills to take the job of the city’s mayor and I hope my supporters will continue to support me.”