In My Sister's Shadow (5 page)

“See,” he squinted, still smiling and pointing his finger at her. “You wanted to eat outside, and this is what comes with the territory.”

“Oh, I like to rough it. Outside is a sweet treat, a beautiful diversion, a colorful stay-cation. Outside is free!”

“You’re a poet and I didn’t even know it.”

They both burst out laughing simultaneously.

“I used to have a pet snake,” Mark offered as he picked up his wine glass and drained it.

“That was random, but do tell.” Bijou sat back in her seat and crossed her arms over her medium yellow flare pants covered thighs. Mark scanned her breasts, enjoying the way the lightweight off-white silk clung to them, her nipples budding under the material.

“I love reptiles…snakes, lizards, amphibians, too.”

“They’re ugly…but snakes are kinda cool.” She nodded and hung her head, causing her loose spirals to fall into her face. Mark followed her movements as she swept them away.

“Yeah, they are. Maybe one day I’ll get another one…”

I’d like to show you a snake alright…
Jesus Christ. He smirked at his own thoughts
. Stop it, man, seriously…

“Sooo.” He pushed his lips out, emphasizing the “o”s. “Are you really single or just trying to make an inattentive boyfriend jealous?”

A clandestine, secretive look came over her alluring eyes.

Mark cleared his throat loudly and raised his eyebrow. “It’s true, isn’t it?” he grimaced, his low tone dropping even lower. “You’ve got a boyfriend…so what is this?” He turned around, looking in all directions. “Is he going to see us out and come approach me? If so, things may not go the way you want them to.” His lips curved.

A stray dog raced past, sniffing the ground for fallen food as his ribs oscillated under the thin, gray skin of his short-haired mutt-frame.

“It just so happens, Mr. Know-It-All, I am not in a relationship right now.” She smiled.

“Oh, it just ended this morning?” Mark teased.

He realized how he was coming across, and he wasn’t trying to be an ass, but he needed to make sure that the ‘product’ he saw on the shelf was in fact what he was bidding on.

The dead don’t lie, unless it is in a coffin, but the living tell untruths as soon as their eyes open in the morning
.
We say “good morning” when we don’t give a fuck how another person’s morning is half the time and ours sure as hell isn’t good. It’s one big, colossal lie. In the ugliness lies the truth, always.

“No, it was quite a while ago, actually and I’m ready to date again. Well, I
was
until.…Anyway, Mr. Inquisition, I could ask
you
the same thing.”

“I’m a free agent.” He lowered his eyes and leaned in closer to her, a slight smile spreading across his face. He threw up his hands then placed his elbows on the table. “I wouldn’t try to get into any heavy conversations with you right now. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page is all, just trying to get to know you better. I’ve been having a really good time by the way.”

“Me too…” She looked away despondently.

“Your sister, right?” he asked softly as he moved his hand across the table and gently reached for hers.

She nodded. “It doesn’t feel right for me to have a good time.” Bijou looked down at her lap. “I just wish I could push a fast forward button to see if this will ever stop hurting. I want to be happy, I do, to have a good time. But I just don’t feel right about it, I guess.”

“That is
exactly
what you should be doing. This is not the time to be alone, to barricade yourself from the world. You know,” He held onto her hand tighter, intertwining their fingers. “I lost someone I loved, too…someone really close to me. I know what you’re going through.”

“Did you? What happened?”

“It was my brother.” Mark looked away then back up at her. “He died in a car accident. We were very close. Like you and Rhine, sometimes we fought, but that was my brother, my blood. I left Miami, like that!” He snapped his fingers. “I had to get away after that – I couldn’t take seeing the same people roaming free, scott free, while he was dead.”

Bijou looked at him, in obvious confusion.

Mark sighed and clasped her hand a little tighter. “This was all over some weed, Bijou. He wasn’t smoking and he wasn’t selling anything, but he was in the house of someone who did. They left the house, a car chase ensued. The guy driving, my brother’s friend, lost control of the car and they crashed. He lived. My brother and another guy died.”

“Mark, I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I don’t like talking about it, but I’m talking about it
now
, because I want you to know that you are not alone, Bijou. I
know
how you feel.”

He watched Bijou look down at her lap. “I’ve seen people die from grief, when actually, the person they were grieving over wouldn’t want them to do that. I realized that after a while.”

“Die from grief?”

“Yeah, it’s possible. Let me give you a case in point.” He released her hand and reared back in his chair. “A husband loses his wife or a wife loses her husband…doesn’t matter their age. I can usually predict it, too.” His eyes narrowed. “I can see that wife falling apart at her husband’s casket. If she alienates herself, and stays that way for a long time, she’ll have health problems to match her broken heart and I’ll see her in a year or two…”

“Damn, that’s morbid!” Bijou chuckled nervously.

“Morbid? Nah, it’s life, Bijou. That’s what being in love, and loving someone, a sister, brother, mother, lover will do if you let it eat you. I understand grief. Grief is my business, my line of work. Without grief, people would just tell hospitals to do whatever with the bodies, and walk away. Grief is what makes someone spend their last dime on a coffin and plot. I’ve been on the observation end, just about every day out of the week, and I’ve been on the up-close and personal end, too. Death never takes vacations, naps or siestas…it never stops. It’s always there and always will be there, but life won’t always be there, Bijou. Life and time are the only two things you can’t get any refills on. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.”

* * *

Bijou sat back again and deliberated over the words Mark had spoken. No one had said anything like that to her before. She’d had her share of loss too, and once again he made her feel so comfortable she knew she’d be opening up and sharing some of the details.

Maybe it is the wine.
She smiled as she ran her finger along the wine glass rim
. No, it’s just him, I like him. He just makes me feel so comfortable, when I’d rather be anyone but me, right now. This has been a terrible time. When is the right time to stop falling apart? I’ll feel guilty for not feeling guilty anymore. Isn’t that just crazy? This is so unbelievable.
A frown spread across her face.

“What?” he whispered as he stroked his chin and leaned in closer across the table, moving the candle over so he could gain better access to her.

“Just thinking…you are sexy, you know that?” She laughed again and bit her lip, not believing what she’d just let roll off her tongue.

“Thank you, I’m glad you feel that way because I already thought that about you for a while now.”

They both were quiet for a few moments. Bijou was grateful for the interruption of their food being brought to the table. She unwrapped her silverware and placed the napkin over her lap as she surveyed her fish, Caesar salad and orzo rice. Mark examined his steak and shrimp dinner closely, then cleaned his steak knife with his napkin, occasionally looking up at her.

“Does it look good?” he asked, smiling as their eyes locked.

“Uh, yes, it looks great, you’re more than welcome to have some,” she offered, pushing her plate closer to him.

“Sure, I’d like to try your salmon, after you try it first.”

He cut into his steak. Bijou watched him slice it thinly, with expert precision. The medium rare meat fell apart on his plate, the juices pooling and glistening with oily circles dancing in the trail on their way to his double stuffed baked potato.

You want to try my dinner, huh? Are you sure that’s the only thing you want to try, Marky Mark? I see the way you’ve been looking at me tonight. You’re lucky I like you back, or I’d throw water in your face to cool you down.

She sliced a piece of fish off; the succulent pale pink perfection glided over to him on a silver fork. Mark opened his mouth and accepted the morsel as she placed her fork inside. He slowly chewed, closed his eyes briefly.

“Tastes like Heaven.” He laughed lightly. “That is really good…Hey, you want some steak and shrimp?” he asked.

“Sure, I’ll take a piece of shrimp.”

Mark searched his plate for a large one.

Generous. That’s nice…

He brought the fork towards her mouth, and watched her take it. She looked at him smile, and wondered what he was thinking this time as his eyes once again narrowed…

* * *

“They did that well, I taste a little coconut, too. I wasn’t expecting that.” She grinned as she returned to her plate.

“Yes, it’s funny how things happen that we don’t expect.” He waved to the waiter.

“OK Mark, what does that really mean? You talk in parables sometimes, you know that?” She took another bite of her fish.

“You already know what it means, there is no hidden meaning. Like in your photography – when we spoke yesterday, and you were telling me about some of the cool places you got to shoot at. Sometimes, you notice something is even more beautiful than it was when you were standing there, shooting it. You didn’t expect the rose to be more gorgeous, the child’s smile more beautiful, the man’s eyes more alluring, but the art captures it. Life is art, that’s why we love it, Bijou. I work with death, but I’m trying to preserve life…the life and sanity of the family help make the deceased look how they did or better than they did in life, and encourage those that remain, to reclaim their lives.”

“You know.” She smiled as she took a small scoop of rice onto her fork, “I know it’s not common for a guy in your position to do what you did for my sister.” Bijou shrugged. “She was beautiful though, Mark. You really are gifted.”

“Thank you; I appreciate a rose who appreciates a weed.” He smiled. “I actually have a love of art. I like to work with my hands…”

The sexual innuendo hung in the air for a few moments. “I like to draw, fix things, put things together…including people, broken people.” Heaviness webbed itself between them, along with a strange sense of carnal tension.

“No, I’m serious,” she said as she leaned slightly to the right, still looking down at her plate. “She almost looked like a doll. Everyone was talking about it after the funeral, how amazing she looked. I couldn’t believe it.” Bijou ate another bite full of rice.

“Thank you.” He took a sip of his wine. “It’s not something I particularly enjoy, but if I’m going to do it, if I’m asked to do it, I do it to the best of my ability.”

 “I totally get that, that’s how I feel about my photos of proms – there is no passion in that, but I do it the best way I can. I much prefer the more candid opportunities.”

There was a brief silence.

“Your eyes…”

“What?” Bijou asked, her eyebrow arched.

“I noticed your eyes the very first time I saw you. They are this rich, dark brown color, nearly black, and I can almost see your entire cornea and there is a light brown ring around it. Your pupils are always glimmering…the darkness, the black always shining and catching the slightest of reflections, making them doe-like. You have heavy eyelids…your eyes are large and have a slight slant at the edges…it’s sexy, alluring and mysterious. You have the eye everyone draws for female characters in comic books-the kind no one really has, but everyone wants.”

Bijou’s face looked confused as she listened to Mark. That expression soon morphed into a grin so wide, she almost exposed her gums.

“So you’ve been looking at me,
that
hard?” she laughed. “And what is with all these technical terms instead of just saying eyeball? I can tell you this much though, I’m flattered.”

“Hey, you know we have to go to mortuary school. That is how they teach us…and like I told you, I love to draw. I used to draw cartoon characters. The girls always had eyes like yours, lashes so long you almost trip over ’em.”

They both burst out laughing. He enjoyed watching her twist and blush.

“Even though your father owned the business, you had to go to school?” she redirected.

“Of course! They won’t let someone practice embalming, or step a foot close to a corpse without credentials. We’d get sued. This isn’t like the 1920s where anything goes.” He chuckled. “There are procedures now. Of course, school was easy for me since I knew most of it already, but I still had to be certified.”

Bijou nodded. “So, is this what you love, is this your passion? I forgot how much pain I was in, Mark, because the attention suddenly turned to how beautiful she looked, like she was alive and getting ready to rise and speak to me.”