In Service To The Billionaire (17 page)

Hours later, the sun marched on down the sky. In the middle of the city, there was a strange lull of activity, and distantly, crickets sounded off from the park where they had gathered.

She met Todd at their old date place, a small cafe behind the city library.

Already sitting down, waiting on her with his weight pressed forward on anxious elbows, he lit up when he saw her. Wearing khaki pants and a tight collared shirt, he looked ruffled and handsome, as usual.

“Hey!” He stood up and quickly gave her a hug.

Strangely grateful for his presence, she hugged him back.

“Hey,” she said.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Yeah, yeah of course. I've just had a long weekend, and it was...” she shrugged. “Well, it was sort of made longer because this was at the end of it.”

Before Todd could respond, the waiter came by. They each ordered a latte, and the waiter slipped back inside the cafe.

“How was your trip?” she asked, trying to be amiable.

“It was...it was really good. It was...” he made a face. “Look, can I be straight with you?”

“Of course.”

“I'd really like it if we could just skip the whole part of this conversation where we pretend not to know what we're gonna talk about, and instead we can just talk about it?”

“Okay.”

The waiter came back with their lattes. Steam rose up off of the cups, floating up into nothingness above the two.

“I miss you,” said Todd. “I want to be with you. I want us to be back together.”

And there it was.

“I just...Todd. I don’t know. You hurt me. You really, really hurt me. Do you understand that?”

“I do.” He nodded, clearly pained. “I think I do. I mean, I was just trying to do what was best for us in the long run. And it worked, didn’t it? I found out how I really wanted to be only with you. You’re my girl, Sophie. I’m your guy. We belong together. We were still engaged this whole time. It’s just...not dormant anymore.”

Sophia had a hard time looking him in the eyes. He seemed so earnest and open. He seemed...changed, somehow.

“I just...you breached my trust, Todd. Like, by a lot.”

“I know, love. I know it, I do. And I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I swear. I want to be by your side from now on, through thick and thin. No matter
what
. I want to be yours.”

He reached a hand across the table, clearly expecting for her to do the same.

She didn't know what to say. What did you really say, when someone opened up like that to you? The only thing she could really do was sip at her latte and bide her time.

“Okay, so I was in Spain, all right?”

He was starting a story, by way of explaining. He was fond of this sort of thing. Sophia nodded to encourage him.

“Okay,” he said. “Spain. I was in Seville. They've got these roofs there, these crazy red-shingle roofs all over the middle of the city. And the further out you go, the less there are. But in the middle, they have all these crazy roofs, and these spindly streets, and nowhere goes where you think it's supposed to. And I was wondering through there late one night and then bam, I run into this enormous cathedral. The 'catedral.' The biggest piece of Gothic architecture in Europe, right? And there's this little old couple—and it's late, like two in the morning—this little old couple and they're just sitting down on a bench in front of this enormous freaking cathedral, staring up at it. This thing is so huge it's sinking into the ground actively. And these two little old man and wife are just looking at it, but they're not really.

“They just want to be together. They want to be experiencing life with one another. And that's what I want with you. I saw them, and I thought about them all night long, and I bought a ticket the next day to get back here with you. And I'm sorry, I am, that it took me so long to put all of that in the right way. But it's you I want, Sophie. You.”

It was, perhaps, the most she had heard Todd ever say without being interrupted.

Despite herself and her hard-won cynicism, a little tear had formed in her eyes.

Thinking of Sand, thinking of her terror from the night before, Sophia nodded.

She gripped Todd's hand.

“Okay,” she said. “Let's give it a try.”

Smiling, he leaned across the table and kissed her briefly. She accepted the kiss, leaned into it.

For a minute, they just held each other's hands. She had to blink away several tears, doing her best to refuse their existence.

Apropos of nothing, Todd said, “And hey, so, remember our sort of, like, open door policy for sex?”

Uh oh. Cautiously, Sophia nodded.

“Well look, like we agreed, no questions asked. I’m not gonna ask about anything. And I'm not saying like, we have to rush home and have sex or anything. I know you need time, or whatever. I understand that. I just meant...like, you remember how like, you were sort of into domination stuff?”

Sophia raised an eyebrow. This was a surprise. “Yes?”

“Well I kind of toyed around with that a little bit. Anyway, if you were interested, we could do some, maybe?”

Every cynical, hard-edged part of Sophia was screaming at her not to trust him.

But an equally strong part—or perhaps stronger—was her schoolgirl crush of him, who wanted her first love to be her only love, who wanted to have that college sweetheart workout just like it was supposed to in a movie. This schoolgirl crush Sophia wanted to reunite with her long lost lover and make him feel home and wonderful again.

He asked her to
marry
him, after all. He
loved
her. Could Sand say the same? Would he ever?

It was beyond her, living in his world. All those socialites and parasites feeding off his sides. She didn’t think she would ever be able to handle it.

And somewhere in her decision-making process was Sand, that passion-furious look on his face, his hands closing around her neck...

...and Todd would never, ever even think of going there with her.

Chapter 20

Todd spent the night at a friend's house—she wasn't quite ready to have him over yet. But they made plans to reunite the next day.

Sand messaged and phoned her constantly. Every hour, on the hour, either a message or a phone call, until midnight on Sunday.

Monday morning she woke up, not even able to read Sand's messages. She didn't know if she had the willpower to resist anything he said.

Of course, she had made no mention of Sand to Todd—other than to say that's who she worked for now. Todd was impressed.

She went to work that day dressed conservatively—black pants and a white blouse and dark jacket. For once, she felt odd drawing stares.

And even that was odd—this new oddness. Only a few weeks ago, it would have been perfectly normal to feel odd drawing stares. Now it was extra-odd to try not to.

Traffic managed to not be that bad, for once, and she made it into work at five past six in the morning. She was able, as a matter of fact, to beat Sand in. She knew because he showed up just a little bit after her—looking dashingly handsome as always in his suit, wearing a blue tie today—with a stern look on his face.

“Inside,” he said, walking past her. “Two minutes.”

For the entire two minutes, her heart wrenched. Julie walked by, giving her a quizzical look. Obviously, Sophie looked terrified. Almost, Sophia thought Julie would come over and talk to her—and so, hiding, she slipped inside Sand's office.

Straight into the lion's den.

He stood up as she approached, circling around the immense mass of his wooden desk. He was just getting off the phone.

“Important calls already?”

“I was informing the
Gazette
to move Harriet Hussman back to her editorial column. She and I were...involved, once upon a time. Her editors thought it was good move, then, for her to be in charge of gossip. But it just makes her miserable.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, not important.” He put the phone down, his voice calm and measured. “I know what you’ve been doing.”

“Y-you do?”

He nodded sagely. “You want me to punish you, is that it? You want me to spank you for being a bad girl and not answering my calls.”

Fuck.

Yes.

Oh god fuck yes she did.

But...but no. No, she couldn’t. Her knees quivered.

“I’ll play along,” he said with a smile. “I'll give you the spanking you deserve. But first, I’d like to get something important out of the way.”

He sat down on the edge of his huge tree-stump desk, and for a moment he didn’t quite look her in the eyes. And then, as if he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t apologize properly, he did—his dark gaze meeting hers.

“I want to apologize to you, Sophia. I need you to know that I understand that I must have scared you Saturday night. That wasn’t very good of me. I misunderstood your range of expertise...your willingness in certain areas. I am not disappointed in you—but in myself, for not communicating to you better.”

“Oh,” she said quietly. Now, it was her who couldn’t meet his gaze. “That’s all right. I understand.”

“Next time, we'll take it slower. I have no problem with that. But it is something that I think...” he pushed a hand through his hair. “It's something I want you to keep trying. That's important to me.”

She just didn't know if she could ever make his hands wrapped around her throat important to her like it was to him. She didn't think she could ever relish the thought of his strong, strong grip holding her frail little neck harder and harder, thrusting into her harder and harder, her body being completely used by him in ways she could barely begin to imagine...

Oh. Oh my. Was she doing that now?  A hot flush slid up her neck.

“Come here,” he said, beckoning her with his fingers. “I want us to make up.”

She wanted to. Oh god, she wanted to so bad.

“I...” she swallowed. “I don’t know that that’s such a good idea now.”

He smiled, as if she was joking. “Oh? And why not?”

“I just...it’s my fiancé. He’s home, now. And I want...I want to try to be with him.”

His eyes widened. He looked as if he was going to speak, and then he closed his mouth.

Walking over to the edge of his office, he shook his head. His hands placed firmly behind his back.

“You have a fiancé.”

Her voice was very small. “Yes.”

“You had some plan, I assume, for telling me this?”

“Yes.”

“And this was not how you wanted it?”

“No. I don’t know.” Tears sparkled in her brilliant green eyes. “Sir, I am so, so sorry. I was just flying by autopilot. You were so hot, and so good, but you really
scared
me and I still
love
him and I don’t know what to do...I’m sorry, Sir. I really am.”

Several times, he opened his mouth. Angry responses, sad responses, demanding responses. She saw them form on his face and then be thrown away—not good enough.

Finally, he said, “Am I still your Master, Sophia?”

He was going straight to the heart of the matter. Her heart burst with need. Oh god—she wanted to say yes with all that she had! She wanted to drop down to her knees and beg his forgiveness.

He was everything to her, everything!

Except...except he wasn’t. There was still such a large part of her that lived a different way. And there was so much inertia there that was hard to overcome. How much momentum did it take to reject a whole life lived a certain way?

Was it more momentum than she could muster? Drawing her shoulders in and hunching down, she tried to make herself as small as possible—smaller than she already felt in his commanding presence.

Sand looked perturbed by her lack of response.

“I’d like you to kiss me, Sophia.”

Slowly, silently, she shook her head, not able to look him in the eyes.

He faced her completely and pushed his jacket open. Then, he unzipped the fly to his pants.

“This is your very last chance, Sophia. Slave.” His voice gnawing over that last word. “Do as I say. Come over here, and suck me off, obediently, like a good girl. And I’ll forget any of this ever happened. I’ll know you’re my good slave. I’ll know you’ll forget all about this fiancé of yours—who I’m sure doesn’t deliver what you want. What you
need.
You’ll be punished fairly, in a way I promise you’ll enjoy. But you have to come here, now.”

Sophia took a deep, painful breath. She blinked back several tears.

“I’m so sorry, Ma—” she stopped. “Mister Sand. I’m so sorry. But I can’t. I can’t. I have to try with my fiancé I’m so, so sorry. You were so good to me. So incredible. You’re so...
so
wonderful. But I can’t.”

He looked embarrassed now. Truly surprised. For a moment, despair crossed over his handsome features—and she thought he might actually cry. She had never felt worse about herself or anything in her life than she did at that moment. Then, rage replaced his anguish...and then a cool, calm mask slipped over that.

The control, he had. For Sand, everything was about control.

“Fine, then,” turning his back. “Be a whore for him. See if I care.”

It was such a childish thing to say—that “see if I care.” She knew she had pained him. Her soul screamed in anguish at causing this beautiful, complicated man any hurt at all. She felt like she was burning a stained glass window.

“I c-can...I’ll understand if you want to fire me...” she began.

“No. I can’t fire you, as you’ve done nothing wrong. You’re following your silly little heart around. Do not color me surprised. But do not expect advancement here, ever. Nor should you expect any help with your friend’s hospital bills.”

“But you said—”

“I said I would do anything for my slave.” He looked up from his paperwork. “You don’t really fit the description anymore, do you? Maybe send your friend in to suck my cock. I’m sure she could do as good a job as you. Any woman could, really.”

With that, she ran out of the room, rushing to the bathroom. And for the first time since being hired and setting about her elaborate plan to solve her entire life, she didn’t touch herself, her mind wasn’t on fire with lust. All she wanted to do—and all she did—was break down and cry.