In the Air (10 page)

"Yes, but don't expect me to sit here and tell you all about my life. You wouldn't be able to handle it."

I sighed loudly. Just when I felt I was making headway with Kingsley, she'd shut down. "You know, we're going to be roommates for awhile, and getting to know each other may be a good thing. Do you want to know anything about me?"

With my question, Kingsley faced me. "Yes," she responded. "Why are you so interested in a guy who's bound to break your heart?"

I knew she was referring to Samson, but I'd never told her I was interested in him. "It's a good thing I'm not interested in him then," I lied.

"The best advice I've ever received was, 'you can't bullshit a bullshitter.' Remember that the next time you try lying."

I didn't know if she would ever tell me about the guy that shattered her heart, but I knew there had to be one.

"Hypothetically, if I did like Samson, do you really think he'd break my heart?"

Kingsley responded by laughing. Her outburst answered my question.

"Samson came to the coffee shop I was at. We talked for awhile."

"That's nice," she stated, completely uninterested.

"I'm going to see a band tonight and he may come. It should be fun. Do you want to join?"

"Go with you on a date? Like, be a third wheel? Absolutely not," Kingsley answered.

"Not
with
us. He may or may not come. I was originally going by myself."

"What's going on with you two?" Kingsley asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," I lied, "we're dance partners and friends."
I might have feelings for him, but it doesn't matter because we're only friends
.

"Don't lie to me, Natalia," she glared at me from her bed.

"Fine."
Geez, how does everyone know when I lie?
"The first night here, I wasn't able to sleep, so I went to the rehearsal space to dance. I guess Samson had the same idea. To make a long story short, we almost kissed. Well, we did kiss. Sort of. As soon as his lips left mine, he practically ran out the room." My cheeks began to heat.

"I knew there was something going on with you two. Do you like him?"

Now she was interested.
I had only known him for a short time, but I thought about him constantly.
No, he's my friend. That's it.

"We're friends," I confirmed. I did like him, but it was too soon to admit that to anyone. Now that any sort of romance was off the table, I didn't allow myself to think of the possibilities. Changing the subject, I said, "Just come out with me. It will be loads of fun."

She gave me a look like she was actually considering it. "I had plans tonight, but since it's going to be
loads
of fun, I guess I could cancel." She got out of bed and walked to her closet. "You need to look hot tonight. Take off the damn tights. Time to actually show some bare skin."

I was happy that Kingsley had agreed to come tonight. I definitely needed a wing-woman and my guess was that she would make a perfect one.

She held out a super short black dress.

"You're joking, right? That's not my style at all." My head shook in disapproval.

Next, she grabbed a hot-pink mini skirt and held it out. Everything this girl owned was either hot pink, leopard print, or leather.

"I think I'll pass on that one, too."

She huffed. "Fine. Dress yourself, but remember that guys love to see skin." I considered Kingsley's advice. The thought of Samson thinking I looked good was tempting. I walked to my closet and began rifling through my clothing.

An hour later, I was dressed in black, high-waisted shorts, a Hall & Oates top that I had cut-up, and my combat boots. I even took Kingsley's advice and skipped the tights.

I looked over at Kingsley and my jaw dropped. "You're going to get us arrested."

She was dressed in a red leather mini dress and six-inch, black high-heeled booties. She looked like a prostitute. "I've always said that if you've got it, flaunt it. This body," she ran her hands up and down her waist, "belongs on a poster."

"I guess we don't ever need to work on your self-confidence," I said as I grabbed my clutch and we headed out the door.

Tonight, I was probably going to be bailing Kingsley out of jail, but I hoped I would at least get to enjoy some live music first.

The hours I spent in the cafe with Natalia were the best I had in a long time. Whenever she laughed, she lost all inhibition, and in those moments, she was especially beautiful.

Not wanting the blissful afternoon to end, I canceled on Aubrey. Things had changed so drastically between us that spending an evening with her and her family would mean I'd be rolling my eyes and checking my watch every five minutes.

When Aubrey and I started dating in the eighth grade, her father, Benjamin, was ecstatic that she was going out with a boy whose family was just as comparable to them in wealth and status.

As Aubrey and I got older, Benjamin's opinion of me changed. The more serious I became with dance, the more respect he lost for me. I wasn't a "normal" boy playing "normal" sports. When he heard the news that I'd be attending Juilliard and leaving Connecticut, he'd told me a starving artist didn't deserve to date his daughter. Since then, he's been trying to end our relationship. When I'd bring it up to Aubrey, explaining how her father was trying to break us up, she didn't believe her father would ever do such a thing.

Taking a deep breath, I dug my phone out and dialed Aubrey's number, preparing myself for the monsoon that was about to ensue.

"Hello?" Aubrey answered, lively.

"Hi, Aubs. I've got some bad news." I could feel her chipper mood diminish.

"Don't even tell me you're canceling on me tonight, Samson. Just don't."

"I'm canceling on you tonight," I stated. I couldn't stomach the thought of spending the next five hours in a room full of stuffy, rich people who only wanted to discuss how much money they had.

"You're an asshole. If you really didn't want to come, you should have told me earlier this week. Daddy bought us seats already. Do you realize how bad that makes you look?"

"Aubrey, your dad hates me. He'll be ecstatic when he finds out that I'm not coming."

"Stop talking like that. He doesn't hate you–he could never hate the man I love." As they say, ignorance is bliss.

"Whatever you say. Look, I just have a lot of work to do and I don't have enough time to do it. I need to get going." It made me sick to lie, but I needed to spend more time with Natalia and I had to figure out the reason for that.

"You're really causing problems for us, Samson." She felt the need to continuously remind me that I was the one screwing everything up.

Before our problems started, she and I had always been joined at the hip. Besides my dance teacher, Aubrey and my mother were the only people in my life who supported me, but within the last year, something changed. Aubrey's compassion and easy-going attitude were replaced by acidity and coldness. She became closed off and unwilling to support my dreams. Aubrey was all that I'd ever known. I never questioned my relationship until I moved away. I realized that being in New York was exactly what I needed. With the distance between us, I was finally able to see that I deserved better.

"Aubs, what's happened to you? I barely recognize you anymore."

"I chose to grow up, Samson. I gave up the juvenile idea of becoming a photographer and decided to actually do something with my life." Her voice began to shake, suggesting she was on the edge of tears. As much as she bashed her old self, I knew deep down, she missed that girl just as much as I did.

"You used to love that
juvenile idea
." I recalled a memory of the time that Aubrey and I went to Niagara Falls. We spent three days laughing, and taking pictures of everything in sight. We were blissfully content in each other's company. I was glad we had those pictures to remind us that there used to be good times.

Aubrey began sniffling into the phone. She was crying and I felt awful for being the one that caused her tears.

"I wish we could find our way back to how things used to be, Aubrey. I'm trying, but I feel like I'm failing every minute of the day."

"I have to go. I have to get ready, and explain to my family why you won't be there."

I could hear the pain in her voice, but I was tired of arguing with her and I knew the battle inside of her was waning. Our love for each other seemed as if it had slammed into a brick wall, ultimately leaving our relationship in shambles.

"Since I'll still be in town tomorrow morning, we should meet for coffee and discuss our relationship."

"I think that's a good idea. We need to figure some things out," I said. I looked at my watch and noticed that it was already 8 P.M. Remembering that Natalia said she would be at the venue early, I wrapped up my phone call. "Have fun tonight, Aubrey." I hung up the phone, aware that neither of us said the words 'I love you.' We hadn't exchanged those words in weeks. My relationship was on thin ice and I didn't know if I wanted to save it. Two years ago, I would have done anything to salvage it, but now, I questioned if it was worth it at all.

I hurried back to my dorm and my roommate, Myers was sitting at his desk, working on his computer. "Hey, Myers. Crazy seeing you here."

Since I'd moved in, he'd been like a ghost, disappearing every time I came appeared. Myers' side of the room was bare, with only his bedding and books out on display. Since he was never there, we'd never had a chance to really talk. It was weird rooming with someone I didn't know a thing about aside from his first and last name.

Myers didn't look like an eighteen year old. This guy looked like he was at least thirty. I was almost positive he somehow cheated the system and lied about his age. The first thing I noticed about him was his beard. In Connecticut, everyone was always clean-shaven. Here in New York, in the course of a block, you'd count at least ten guys with extreme beards. Myers black hair was styled like Fonzie, and he had a ton of tattoos: a huge black and white koi fish on his lower left arm, and his entire right arm was covered in ink. On one calf, he had a ship, and on the other, a lighthouse. I'm sure there were more. As Wren informed me, once you get one, it's hard to stop. The only thing I really knew about Myers was that he was here for music, majoring in the upright bass. If he didn't seem like such a reclusive person, I might have tried to get to know him better. I had a feeling he was just as pissed as I was when finding out it was a requirement to live in the dorms your first year.

"Yeah, I was just heading out actually. I've got a thing." Myers response was lacking, almost like he was hiding something.

"I was just getting changed and heading to Mercury Lounge. If you want to come, I'm –"

He cut me off before I could finish with my invitation. "No, thanks." He grabbed his bag from the ground and walked to the door. "Have a good one," he said, closing the door on his way out.

I was left wondering what kind of weirdo I was stuck living with. I quickly threw on a pair of jeans, a button up, tie, and a cardigan. I didn't know what type of place I was going to, but I was sure what I had picked to wear was fine. As I walked outside to catch a cab, I realized that I'd be meeting Natalia there alone. This would definitely look like we were on a date. We agreed to be friends. To avoid any confusion, I called Wren to see if he wanted to join me. It seemed like his sort of thing: bar, loud music, riled crowd.

"Samson, what's going on, dude?"

A cab pulled up to the curb. I climbed inside and told the driver where to go.

"I'm heading to Mercury Lounge, actually. Going to check out some band." I forgot the name of the band we were seeing tonight...something about roadkill.

"
You
are going to Mercury Lounge? Sam, that doesn't really seem like the type of place you'd go. Are you wearing a tie?" Wren's incredulous tone came through loud and clear.
How'd he know I was wearing a tie?

"Don't worry about what I'm wearing, asshole. Do you want to come or not?"

"As much as I would love to come and see everyone's reaction to your
dapper
outfit, I can't."