In the Dark (26 page)

“I’ll…” She swallowed against the lump in her throat. “I’ll have something later.”

She rushed past him, couldn’t bear to look a moment longer. This felt so wrong…so damned wrong.

Taking the stairs as fast as she dared she made it to her room in record time. She closed the door and slumped against it.

A full minute was required for her to catch her breath, to slow her heart rate. To form a coherent thought.

She should have been prepared for this moment. David’s face had emerged a little more each day. She’d watched the features move from discolored and distorted to smooth and glowing with the tint of health.

All those things she’d expected…she’d been prepared for. But this…

It was the eyes she hadn’t been fully equipped to see…to look into.

David’s eyes.

As dark as a moonless night.

She’d gotten lost in them so many times. Not once had she been able to read his intentions. Whether it was the deep, murky color or just his skill at evasive tactics
she couldn’t be sure. But the mystery had been part of the at traction. He’d drawn her in so easily.

How in the wide world could she have believed she could do this?

Elizabeth closed her eyes and blocked the tears; forced away the images.

She couldn’t do this.

And why should she?

She’d done her part.

There was no reason for her to stay a minute longer.

A light rap on the door behind her made her breath hitch again. She pressed a hand to her chest and reached for some semblance of calm.

She had to get her composure back into place.

All she needed to do was tell Agent Dawson she was ready to go home. Her work here was finished.

No one could argue that infinitely valid point.

Steeling her self against the turmoil of emotions attempting to erupt in side her she straightened away from the door, then turned to answer it.

It would be Hennessey.

It would be tough.

But she was strong.

She smoothed her damp palms over her skirt and pulled in another much needed breath.

Then she opened the door.

David’s eyes stared down at her.

Not David, she reminded her self.

Hennessey. Agent Joe Hennessey.

“We should talk about this.”

She looked away, let his voice be her buoy. Hennessey’s voice. Low, husky, shimmering with mischief just beneath the surface. Not the slow, deep cadence of David. Why was it she’d never realized how very cal
culating his voice had been? It wasn’t until she’d come here with Hennessey that she’d understood what sexy really was.

David hadn’t been sexy…he’d been bawdy.

Elizabeth squared her shoulders and did what she should have done days ago. “Agent Hennessey, clearly I’ve contributed all to this operation that I have to offer. I’m certain you won’t be needing my services any longer. With that in mind, I’m sure you’d understand if I chose not to have this discussion.” She braced to close the door. “Please let Agent Dawson know I’ll be ready to go in ten minutes.”

She had expected him to argue.

She’d even expected him to try to stop her.

But the last thing she’d expected was for him to kiss her.

He took her face in both his hands and pulled her mouth up to meet his.

Just like that.

His lips felt firm but some how more yielding than she had expected. His mouth was hot…ravenous, as if he was starving and she was dessert. She melted against him, couldn’t help her self. The sweet feel of her body conforming to his made her shiver with a need so urgent she moaned with the intensity of it.

Sensations cascaded down from her face, following the path of his hands as he stroked her cheeks with his long fingers then slipped lower to caress her throat.

Her heart beat so hard she couldn’t breathe…couldn’t think. She just kept kissing him back—kept clinging to his strong body, hoping the moment would never end.

“Elizabeth,” he murmured against her lips. “I’m sorry. I…” He kissed her harder….

She tried to pull away…tried to push against his chest.
But she couldn’t bear the thought of taking her hands away from his chest. Even through the cotton shirt she reveled in the feel of the contours of his body. She suddenly wanted to touch all of him. To see if the rest of him was as amazing as his chest and the other part she’d already examined.

His arms went around her and for the first time in months she felt safe in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with professional success or inner strength. She wanted this as a woman…and she didn’t want it to end.

But it had to end.

She couldn’t do this again.

Her hands flattened against his chest and she pushed away from him, not taking her lips from his until it was impossible to reach him any more.

He opened his eyes and her heart lurched.

“I have to leave now.”

She stumbled back from his reach.

“Elizabeth, I can take out the contacts. We can talk.”

She closed her eyes, tried to block the visual stimuli. Told her self to listen to his voice. Joe Hennessey…not David. Not David.

“Please.” She forced her eyes open again. “I need to go now. There’s nothing more I can do.”

He looked away, displaying the profile she’d created. David’s profile. The slightly longer and broader nose, the more prominent chin.

She swallowed. Looked away.

“This isn’t who I am.” He gestured to the face she had sculpted. “You know who I am.”

She did. That was true. He was Agent Joe Hennessey
of the CIA. A dangerous man…her gaze shifted back to his…with an even more dangerous face.

“I do know who you are.” The words were strong but she felt cold and hollow. “And I can’t do this with a man like you. Not again. The price is too high.”

She turned her back to him in the nick of time. She couldn’t let him see the foolish tears.

“I’ll let Agent Dawson know you’re ready to leave.”

She heard him walk away.

Finished.

This was finished. No reason for her to stay…to put her self through this.

All she had to do was go home and for get this assignment…for get the man.

E
lizabeth reviewed the day’s messages, her mind on autopilot. That was the way it had been for most of the day. The only time she’d been able to really think clearly and in the moment was when she’d been with a patient. Thankfully three patients who’d been on standby awaiting appointments had been available to fill her day. So far four work-ins were scheduled for tomorrow and then she’d be back on her regular schedule.

Back to her real life.

Her concentration, such as it was, shattered yet again. Elizabeth tossed the messages onto her desk and leaned back in her chair.

This
was her life.

Slowly, her heart sinking just a little more, she surveyed her chic office. Clean lines, no clutter. Diplomas and other accolades matted and framed in exquisite detail draped the smooth linen-colored walls. Short
pile car pet in the same pale color padded the floor and served as a back drop to the sleek wood furnishings. The rest of the clinic’s decor was every bit as elegant; the treatment rooms equipped with the same spare-no-expense attitude.

The practice shared by her self and two other specialized physicians dominated the east corner of an up scale Georgetown address. Clientele included patients from all over the country as well as a few from abroad. Business boomed to the point that expansion would surely soon be necessary.

All those years of hard work had paid off for Elizabeth in a big way. Professionally she had everything she desired. Everything she’d dreamed about.

But that was where the dream ended.

She’d deluded her self into believing there could be more. That she could throw her self back into a social life. The chances of that doomed plan seeing fruition were about nil—she recognized that now. The cruise had been a last-ditch effort on her part to wake up her sleeping sex life. Not that she’d had any sort of exciting social life in the past. Admittedly she hadn’t. But even dating hadn’t crossed her mind since David’s death. Absolutely nothing had made her want to venture back into the world of the living and the loving.

Until Joe Hennessey popped back in.

All those for bid den feelings Hennessey had aroused three months ago had suddenly reawakened when he waltzed back into her small world with this assignment.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and let the volatile mixture of heat and desire spread through her. He made her want to embark onto that emotional limb of love again. How
could she be so dumb when all those diplomas hanging on the walls proclaimed her intelligence?

A light tap on her closed door dragged her away from the disturbing thoughts and back to the harsh reality that she was once more at square one, alone in her office at the end of the day with no place to go and no one with whom to share her successes or her failures.

She forced her eyes open. “Yes.”

The door cracked far enough for Dr. Newman, one of her partners, to poke his head into her office. “You busy?”

Elizabeth tacked a smile into place. “Not at all. Come in, Dr. New man.” As long as she’d known Robert Newman—they’d worked closely for four years—they had never moved be yond the professional formalities. She suddenly wondered why that was. He was a very nice man. Safe, quiet, bookish, all the traits she should look for in a companion. That she admired and respected him was icing on the cake. Just another prime example of her inability to form proper social relationships.

His lab coat still looking pristine after a full day of seeing patients, he shoved his hands into his pockets and strolled up to her desk. “Do you have dinner plans?”

Now that startled her. Was he asking her out to dinner? They’d attended the same work-related social functions numerous times, but never as a couple. She blinked, tried to reason whether or not she’d misunderstood.

Had she some how telegraphed her misery through the walls? Was this a pity invitation?

He cleared his throat when she remained speechless be yond a polite pause. “I thought you might not have had time to shop since you’ve gotten back. Your cupboards are probably bare.”

Oh, yes, this was definitely a dinner
date
invitation.

Now she knew for sure just how little attention she’d paid to the men around her. If she’d had any question, the hopeful look in her colleague’s eyes set her straight.

How could she have missed this? She’d had absolutely no idea.

“You would probably be right,” she confessed, well aware that any continued stalling would be seen as not only a rebuff but rude. She reached deep down in side and retrieved a decent smile. “To be honest, I’m beat. I think I need a vacation to recover from my vacation.” It wasn’t until that moment that she realized how much her affiliation with the CIA had changed the dynamics of her other professional relationships. How many times had she lied to her colleagues about her where abouts?

Don’t go there. Not tonight.

She pushed up from her chair, glanced around her desk to en sure she hadn’t forgotten any thing that wouldn’t wait before meeting Dr. New man’s gaze once more. Disappointment had replaced the hope. “But I’d love a rain check.”

Some of the disappointment disappeared. “Sure.”

After a brief exchange of war stories about the day’s patients, Dr. New man said good-night and was on his way.

At that moment Elizabeth realized just how very exhausted she felt. A long, hot bath, a couple glasses of wine and a decent night’s sleep, she decided, would be her self-prescribed medicine.

After rounding up her purse she headed for the rear exit. She’d already called Agent Dawson and let him know she was ready to go. When she reached the parking lot he waited only steps from the clinic’s rear entrance. He would follow her home and then maintain
a vigil out side until around nine o’clock and he would be replaced by Stark.

As she slid behind the wheel of her Lexus she regarded the necessity of this measure once more. She hadn’t really felt that the added security was necessary but Director Calder had insisted. She’d finally relented and agreed to one week of surveillance. If he felt that strongly, how could she ignore the possibility that he might be right? After all, ferreting out intelligence and analyzing risks was his business.

The drive to her brown stone was uneventful. Before leaving her car at the curb she couldn’t go in side with out asking Agent Dawson if he’d prefer to come in side. She’d spent the past three weeks holed up with Joe Hennessey; spending time alone with Dawson would be a breeze.

But Agent Dawson declined her offer.

She’d known he would. Dawson was far too much of a stickler for the rules.

Un like Hennessey.

Or David.

Wasting her time and energy obsessing over the two men she’d allowed her self to get close to was pointless. Why put her self through the additional grief?

How had it been so easy all these years to move through life with out getting her heart snagged? Work had been her focus. Until just over a year ago when David had lured her into a relationship. She’d thought it was time. Why not? Most women her age had already been involved in committed relationships. Why shouldn’t she? But it had gone all wrong.

Another thought crept into her mind. Maybe she simply wasn’t equipped to deal with failure. Her academic and professional life had succeeded on every level. Per
haps the fear of failure kept her from taking emotional risks.

“No more self-analysis,” she muttered.

She unlocked her front door and stepped in side. Left all the questions and uncertainty on the stoop.

Home sweet home.

A long, deep breath filled her lungs with the scents of her private existence. The lingering aroma of the vanilla scented candles she loved…the vague hint of the coffee she’d had this morning.

She dug around in the freezer until she found a micro wave dinner that appealed to her. Five minutes and dinner would be served. A bottle of char don nay she’d bought to celebrate the night before departing on her cruise still sat unopened on her kitchen island. Perfect.

Lapsing back into her usual routine as easily as breathing, she set a place at the table, lit a candle and poured the wine. Just because she ate alone didn’t mean she couldn’t make it enjoyable.

The chicken breast, steamed vegetables and pasta turned out better than she’d expected. Or maybe she was just hungry. She hadn’t realized until then that she’d completely forgotten lunch. She did that quite often. But so did most of her colleagues.

The wine did its work and slowly began to relax her. By the time she’d climbed out of the tub she was definitely ready for bed and well on her way to a serious good night’s sleep.

She pulled the night gown over her head and smiled at the feel of the silk slipping along the length of her body. Practical had always been her middle name, but she did love exquisite lingerie. Panties, bras, gowns. She loved sexy and silky. Vivid colors were her favorites.
Her bed time apparel was way different from her day wear. David had always teased her about it.

Cursing her self, she turned out the light and stamped over to her bed. She had to stop letting him sneak into her thoughts. He was dead. Creating his face on another man had torn open old wounds once more. She needed to allow those wounds to heal. What ever her future held she needed to get be yond the past.

She pulled the sheet back, but a sound behind her stopped her before she slid onto the cool covers. She wheeled around to peer through the darkness.

“It’s just me,” a male voice said, the sound of it raking over her skin like a rough caress.

She shivered. “Hennessey?” What was he doing here? Had something happened? She felt her way to the table and reached for the lamp.

“Don’t turn on the light.”

Elizabeth stilled, her fingers poised on the switch.

“I don’t want you to see him. I want you to listen to
me.
Only me.”

Her heart started to pound. What on earth was he doing here? Had he relieved Agent Dawson? No, that didn’t make sense. This was Dawson’s mission….

“I don’t understand.” She wished her throat wasn’t so dry. Every part of her had gone on alert to his presence. Her hands wanted to reach out to him, her fingers yearned to touch him. She would not listen to the rest of the whispers of need strumming through her, urging her to connect with him on the most intimate level.

“I’m leaving tomorrow. I didn’t want to go without…”

He didn’t have to say the rest. She knew what he wanted. What
she
wanted. She could stand here and pretend that it wasn’t real or that she didn’t want it, but
that would be a lie. Tomorrow he would be gone and if she didn’t seize this moment she would regret it for the rest of her life.

Could she do that? Risk the damage to her heart?

She pushed the uncertainty away. Her entire adult life she had erred on the side of caution when it came to affairs of the heart…but not tonight.

She didn’t wait for him to say any thing else or even for him to move. She moved. Reached out to him and took him in her arms.

His mouth came down on hers so quickly she didn’t have time to catch her breath. She reached up, let her hands find a home on his broad shoulders.

She didn’t need to see his face. She could taste Joe Hennessey…recognized the ridges and contours of his muscular chest and arms. She didn’t know how she could have done something as foolish as fall for this man…but she had. There was no changing that fact. The best she could hope for was to salvage some part of her heart after he’d gone.

His fingers moved over her, making her sizzle beneath the silky fabric. Wherever his palms brushed her skin heat seared through her. She couldn’t get enough of his touch, couldn’t stop touching him. Even the thought of taking her lips from his made her experience something like panic.

No matter what the future held for either of them, they could have this night.

His hands slid down her back, molded to her bottom. She gasped, the sound captured by his lips. He urged her hips against his and she cried out. Ached with such longing that she wasn’t sure she could bear it.

Joe held her tightly against him, shook with the incredible sensations washing over him.

He shouldn’t have come to her like this. He’d known better. For the past forty-eight hours he’d told him self over and over that she’d done the right thing walking away. It was the best move for all concerned.

But he couldn’t leave with out kissing her one last time. He’d thought of nothing else every minute he hadn’t been attempting to talk him self out of this very moment.

He’d thought about that one kiss they had shared. Of the way her body had reacted to his all those months ago when he’d come to her rescue.

He needed to feel her in his arms. He’d walked away the last time with out looking back because she had belonged to another man. That had been a mistake. He should have fought for her. They’d had a connection. He’d felt it. So had she, he’d bet his life on it. But he’d walked away and tried to put her out of his mind.

Impossible.

Spending the past three weeks with her had only convinced him further that they had something special. All they had to do was explore it…let it happen naturally.

He had to make her see that.

She trembled when he reached for the hem of her gown and tugged it up and off. God, he wanted to see her body, to learn every hollow and curve. But the light would ruin everything. He needed her to know who was making love to her tonight. He couldn’t let Maddox’s face interfere. He crouched down long enough to drag her panties down her legs. The subtle rose scent of her freshly bathed skin took his breath.

As he stood, her fingers shook when she struggled to release the buttons of his shirt. He helped, tugging the shirttails out of his trousers and meeting her at the
middle but ton. The sound of her breath rushing in and out of her lungs made him feel giddy.

Together they worked his trousers down to his ankles, then stumbled back onto the bed with the efforts of removing his shoes and kicking free of the trousers.

He peeled off his boxers then lay on the bed next to her. He didn’t want to rush this. As badly as he wanted to push between her thighs and enter her right now, he needed to make this night special. Take things slow, draw out the pleasure. Like it was their last night on earth.