In the Distance (3 page)

Chapter Four

Trevor

I followed Jamie through Bistro 30’s dining room out to the bar and took a good look at the place he and Ethan had brought to life. As much as it pained me to admit, Jamie was happy. More than that, though—he was content. How he could be with someone as mercurial as Ethan Martin, I had no clue, but he was.

“White or red?”

“Sorry?”

Jamie raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Do you want white or red?”

“You should know by now I’m a red wine snob. What do you have?”

“Lily just hooked us up with a great pinot noir from a new winery in the Willamette Valley. It’s been a house favorite since we started carrying it. Want to try it? Or are you still stuck in your Zinfandel stage?”

I feigned mock hurt as Jamie reached for some wineglasses. “I’m out of my Zinfandel phase, thank you very much. And pinot sounds great. Speaking of phases, how are things with Lovely Lily?”

Jamie shot me his best
don’t fucking push it
look over his shoulder as he reached for a wine bottle from the rack behind the bar. The bartender, a cute twenty-something with dreads, grabbed the bottle from his hands and deftly uncorked it for him before handing it back. Jamie patted her on the shoulder before she moved off to the far end of the bar to restock the glassware, giving us space and privacy to talk. Jamie filled our glasses and had already taken a drink before finally answering my question.

“Lily is fine. She brought her latest girl crush in last time she was in town. Not sure if this one is serious, but Lily could hardly take her eyes and hands off her.”

“Interesting. And it’s cool between you all? There’s no weirdness there?”

“No, Trev. There’s no weirdness there. Look, Ethan and I were apart for what? Eight, almost nine years? It would be asinine for me to have expected him to be a saint during that time. I sure wasn’t. But we’re together now, and isn’t that what really matters?”

I had no answer to that, so I took a sip of wine and dipped my head with a noncommittal nod. He sighed and took a sip of his wine before looking out over the dining room.

“Lily was, and still is, a good friend to E. But she’s his past and I’m his present and future.”

I stared down at the mahogany bar, unable to meet his eyes any longer. If Lily was Ethan’s past, then I was Jamie’s. Yes, we were still friends and both of us were working hard to keep our friendship alive. But the truth was we were never going to be as close as we had been. I was genuinely happy for Jamie and the life he’d found with Ethan, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it was weird between us.

“That’s great, Jamie. I mean it.”

“Enough about Lily and Ethan. I’m really glad you’re here, Trev. It’s been, what, two months since you were in town?”

“Three, but who’s counting? The restaurant looks better and better each time I visit, J. Hell, even Tyler is coming out of his shell more.”

“Thanks, and he is.” Jamie paused and narrowed his eyes. “You wanna tell me what that was back there in the kitchen, though?”

“Tell you about what back where?”

“About you chatting up our sous-chef, as Ethan so eloquently put it. I know I’ve told you before, but he’s had it pretty rough and I’d hate for anything to screw up this new self-confidence he’s found.”

“Why would I have anything to do with screwing things up for Tyler? By talking to him? Asking about his classes?”

He just looked at me and cocked an eyebrow.

“Oh God. You really think I’d flirt with him just to get him to drop trou?”

“Look, Trev. We both know you’re not exactly a monk. You had your fair share of conquests when we were both in New York, and from our phone conversations lately, it doesn’t sound like much has changed.”

“Jamie—”

“Just listen to me for a minute, Trevor. I’m not saying your goal is to fuck and chuck him. But Tyler’s a good kid. His parents were assholes when they found out he was gay. Kicked him out and turned their backs on him. In case you’ve forgotten, I can relate to that.”

“Jamie—”

“And maybe we are being protective of him, but he deserves better than the shitty hand he’s been dealt already. Shit, Trev, I wasn’t here when Ethan found him behind Sharpe’s on Fifth, but his description of how skinny and scared Tyler was is enough to make anyone want to protect him. My parents were assholes, but at least I didn’t end up on the streets like Tyler. That would have been—”

“Jamie! For the love of God, take a breath and let me talk. I never once thought about chatting him up to get into his pants. That’s low, even from you. I was talking to him. You do know what that means, right? Talking, not ramming my tongue down his throat while I stripped him in the middle of your kitchen so I could have my way with him. I get that his parents are bigoted shitheads. But don’t you think Tyler can make his own decisions about who he wants to talk to? Because this isn’t about me, this is about any guy you and Ethan don’t deem worthy.”

Jamie set his wineglass down and looked over at the bartender, lowering his voice when he answered me. “Look, I know these past two years haven’t been easy between us, but I love you as the brother I never had growing up. So I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass and pretend you haven’t made a sizable dent in New York’s single male population.”

“I haven’t—”

He laughed and held up a hand to stop me. “You have. You’re either at a club, leaving someone’s place late at night or across the country texting me pictures of your weekend companion. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you’re going out and having fun. It’s just, I know you, Trevor. You’ve never liked being alone. All I’m asking is for you to remember he’s just a kid who doesn’t need that kind of complicated shit in his life right now. As crappy as it sounds, I’m afraid you’ll just play with him until you get bored and move on to the next shiny thing. He’s been passed around enough for one lifetime, don’t you think?”

I took a drink of wine to collect my thoughts, which, admittedly, were all over the place and veering dangerously into the land of pissed-off. I reined it in as much as I could, but still heard the sarcasm that dripped from my own voice. “Glad to know I’m one step higher than your average streetwalker. I swear, you’re worse than my mother, J. What’s wrong with having a little bit of fun before I settle down?”

He looked at me skeptically and poured some more wine in our glasses. “Settle down? I wasn’t sure that was even in your vocabulary.”

I winced and stared him straight in the eye, all pretense of joking gone. “I considered it once, but we both know how that ended up.”

Jamie sighed and walked around the end of the bar to sit on the bar stool next to mine. Neither of us spoke, not that there was anything either of us could say at that point that hadn’t already been spoken before. I sent up a silent thank-you that I’d come to the restaurant during a slow time of the day. This conversation would have been a whole lot more fun with a dining room full of curious diners.

Jamie touched my arm, drawing my attention away from my wineglass and over to his long, slender hand. I’d watched his hands expertly prepare elaborate meals for us dozens of times in New York. I had fantasized about having them on my body before—and, admittedly, after—Ethan made his reappearance in our lives. Those hands, more specifically his left hand, were now home to a thick gold band.

I’d made my peace with that gold band months ago. Hell, I’d made peace with the reason behind that gold band when Jamie had moved to Seattle. The ache of missing him was still there, but I’d made my peace with his choices. Now I just needed him to be at peace with mine.

“Yeah, so. I’m having fun while I’m still a bachelor. Sue me. Now, back to your earlier question for a minute. Let’s just agree to disagree. I’m pretty sure Tyler doesn’t want to be coddled, but I promise not to take him back behind the restaurant and fuck him against the wall. Fair enough?”

Jamie pulled his hand back and glared. “
Trevor.
”

I wanted to laugh but took another sip of my wine, instead. Getting a rise out of Jamie had almost been worth having this conversation about Tyler. Almost.

He sighed. “Okay, next topic. And just hear me out, because I’ve given this a lot of thought lately. Now that I’m back in the restaurant full-time, I think you need to look into gaining some more clients. Other than making the circuit for the cookbook promotion, I’m done, Trev.”

Was he finally firing me? “Um, J? Is there something you’re trying to tell me here? Because I have clients. I just signed Alex last month because he wants to branch out and get into something where his brand is a little more ‘out there’. His words, not mine.”

“Sounds like Alex. I’m surprised it took him this long to take that route. Alex or not, though, we both know you need more than just a single client here and there to make it worthwhile for you. At this rate, you’ll be bored by the end of the year.”

I rubbed my temple and forehead, trying to stave off the headache that was threatening to break loose. “Where are you going with this?”

“Just listen before you jump to any conclusions. Do you remember me telling you about the last trip E and I took?”

“When you went to San Fran?”

Jamie nodded. “Natalie Turner invited us to La Tour, so we stopped in Portland on the way back. She mentioned that she’d been approached for a spot on a local morning show for their food segment. It’s just a few spots here and there—nothing major or set in stone yet, but she was excited about the prospect of it turning into something more substantial. I gave her some general advice but you and I both know I was never really savvy about that side of it, so I thought of you. You would be a better source of information for her regarding career management.”

A possible new client. In Portland. “I don’t see how much good I’ll be to her, living on opposite sides of the country. It’s so close to the holidays, too. Everything in the industry pretty much shuts down during this time of year and turns its attention inward because they’re so wrapped up in making it through the holiday madness.”

“I know, but she’s talking to them now about the TV spots, not after the New Year. You’ve got a phone and email to keep in touch with her, and enough frequent flyer miles to more than cover your flights to and from Portland for a while.”

The headache I’d been trying to stave off started throbbing behind my eyes. “Jamie—”

His hand covered mine and he squeezed.

“We both know I never would have made it as far as I did in this business without you. I think you’d be good for Natalie. And I have a feeling she’d be good for you, too.”

I stared at the ring on his finger and sighed. He squeezed my hand once more before pulling away completely.

“Just promise me you’ll think about it.”

Taking on a client who lived three thousand miles away was ludicrous. But I’d never been good at saying no to Jamie Lassiter. Not when we were both living abroad for the first time in our lives, not during the entire time we lived in New York, and not now.

“Shit. Yeah. I’ll call her. Give me her phone number and email and I’ll get in touch with her before I leave Seattle. Who knows? I might even be able to make the trek down to Portland before I leave for New York. Unless a certain chef can get more time off and meet up for more than just one measly lunch date.”

The sound of Jamie’s laugh was worth the headache that was now pounding in my head. “You’re lucky I sweet-talked E into covering for me tomorrow so I could have lunch with you at all.”

I put my fingers in my ears and began to sing tonelessly. “TMI, dude.”

The sight of Jamie’s body shaking with laughter made me smile. Jamie had been miserable during his last year in New York. Tired, overextended and burned-out. His move to Seattle had changed all that. It had been a hard road for both of us, but it had been worth it.

When his laughter trailed off, leaving a small smile on his lips, I felt nothing but gratitude for Ethan making my best friend so damn happy. He squeezed my shoulder and slid off his bar stool.

“Hold on for a second and I’ll grab Nat’s info for you, then we can go over the latest figures for the cookbook sales and the promo spots you lined up for the book tour.”

“Chef Lassiter?”

We both turned at the sound of Tyler’s voice. “Chef Martin needs you. He’s mumbling something about murdering the meat supplier.”

Jamie shook his head. “Give me a minute, Trev. Looks like I need to prevent a homicide before I grab Nat’s info.”

Tyler glanced from Jamie to me, a curious look on his face. When I smiled, Tyler’s eyes stayed on me for a second longer and I wondered if Jamie and Ethan knew what they were doing by handling Tyler with kid gloves. No matter how much Jamie and Ethan treated Tyler like a little brother sometimes, there was nothing little about Tyler. He’d gotten taller and filled out since I’d first met him over a year ago. But more than that, he wasn’t the scared teenager who had once been afraid of his own shadow. I had promised Jamie I’d be on my best behavior around Tyler, but that didn’t mean I had to keep my distance from him. We could talk to each other, right? Normal people actually did that if they wanted to get to know each other. I’d been completely honest with Jamie. I wasn’t chatting Tyler up to get into his pants. But that didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends. And if I’d learned anything over the past year, my life was severely lacking in the real friend department.

Chapter Five

Tyler

I was wiping down the station when Ethan appeared, still grumbling under his breath about the screwups with the day’s deliveries. Whenever Trevor showed up, it seemed to keep him on edge.

“You ready to take off?”

When I glanced down at my watch, I nodded. “I usually take the bus that comes in about twenty minutes.”

A voice over my shoulder said, “I can drive you.”

Trevor’s voice. I kept my head down to hide my surprise and kept wiping down the already clean countertop. “Thanks, but I’m good. I always take the bus.”

When Trevor stopped next to the station, I could see him out of the corner of my eye. The spicy scent of his cologne hit me, making me want to lean closer. I didn’t want Trevor to treat me like Ethan and Jamie did most of the time. For once, I wanted someone to look at me like I was normal. I wanted him to look at me as more than just some former street kid with no family and no money to my name.

“It’s no problem, Tyler. Jamie and I just finished our meeting. He’s back on duty so the ever-enchanting Chef Martin doesn’t murder anyone, and I’m on my own for the rest of the night.”

“It’s fine, I usually use the time on the bus to try to study, anyhow—”

I lifted my eyes just in time to see Ethan move closer to us and shoot a nasty glare at Trevor before turning his attention back to me. “How about I take a breather and drive you home? Jamie’s back now to take care of the kitchen and I could use a break.”

There was more going on here than they were letting on. The entire crew knew I took the bus to and from work and, to my knowledge, it had never been a problem. Sure, life would be so much easier if I had a car, but the simple fact that I had no money to buy one or keep up the insurance was a minor detail that kept me at the mercy of Seattle’s public transport system. Taking the bus meant a longer commute home, but it was safe. Much safer than when I was sleeping in the parks or the shelters before Enrique had taken me in.

I cleared my throat and looked at both of them before speaking. “I’m good. Really. I don’t need Trevor to go out of his way to take me home, and the restaurant will be slammed in a few minutes from the dinner rush. There’s no reason for Chef Lassiter to be here by himself because his sous-chef needed an escort home.”

Ethan opened his mouth to say something, but Trevor cut him off. “There’s no point in sitting on the bus for an hour when I can make myself useful for once.” He paused and smiled at Ethan, then turned back to me and continued, “and chauffeur you home.”

Ethan growled and leaned over to grab the towel I’d been using to clean up my station, scowling when he threw it at the dirty linens bin and missed.

“No way. Tyler, just give me a few minutes to wash up and I’ll take you home. Trustfund can go bug someone else for the rest of the night.”

“As much as Chef Martin might want to believe—”

“You do realize I’m standing right here?” I blurted. It was nice to have both of them offer to take me home, but their power play with each other made me feel like a pawn in their own secret battle. I knew they all worried about me, but as much as I appreciated it sometimes, like right now, it bugged the hell out of me. Ethan’s eyes went huge, and I was immediately horrified. I’d spoken my thoughts aloud.

I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath to get myself under control. After a very tense moment, I opened my eyes and looked directly at Trevor.

“Thanks. A ride home would be great.”

Ethan’s voice was low and deadly soft when he drew my attention back to him. “You sure that’s a good move, Tyler?”

“Yeah. I’m sure.” Ethan didn’t need an explanation. I was twenty years old and in charge of my own decisions. If he didn’t like them, he could stand in line right behind my parents.

He locked eyes with me, finally coming to the realization I wasn’t going to back down on this. Without warning, he turned and got in Trevor’s face. “If anything happens, anything that shouldn’t, trust me, I’ll have no hesitation about putting my foot in your ass. Got it, Trustfund?”

Trevor just smirked and leaned closer to Ethan. “I forgot you went to charm school, Ethan. It’s nice to be reminded of how warm and fuzzy you can be. Trust me, I can behave. Most of the time.”

“Make that all the time.” Ethan poked Trevor in the chest and when Jamie grabbed his arm, tugging Ethan away, his husband didn’t break the stare off with Trevor.

“Are you two done with your talk?”

Ethan gave Jamie a look. “Just making sure Trustfund knows the rules.”

“Chill, E. We had this discussion already.”

I looked between all three of them, instantly pissed-off again. What conversation? And why the hell was Trevor suddenly taboo where I was concerned? I wasn’t a fucking child who needed to have my hand held every second of the day.

As if sensing my anger, Trevor bumped my shoulder with his. When I chanced a glance at him, his smile was friendly and warm, nothing like the cocky look he’d given Ethan just moments ago. “You ready to blow this joint? Ethan’s head is going to explode soon. The hamster must have fallen off the wheel from all that thinking he just did.”

When Ethan made an angry noise, I untied my apron and dropped it in the laundry service bin, hoping to make it out of the kitchen before my boss really did explode. Good thing Jamie was loaded, with the amount of bail money the cleanup would probably require if Ethan ever did lose it. I ducked into the small locker room next to the kitchen. Once I’d changed into my street clothes, I pulled my ratty old backpack out of my locker and headed out.

I turned and stopped short when I found Trevor waiting for me, leaning against the locker room doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. An unfamiliar feeling fluttered in my stomach. Had he been watching me change? Something about it should have offended me, but it didn’t. Especially when he didn’t react for a moment. The truth was, I liked the way he looked at me.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.”

I slung my backpack over my shoulder as I followed Trevor out the side door, shaking my head at the
I’ll be watching you
gesture Ethan aimed at him. Jesus. Why did I feel like I was going on a date? The way that Ethan and Jamie acted, it felt like they were trying to stop Trevor from stealing my virtue, and it drove me crazy. Living on the streets had taught me how to defend myself and if I’d thought Trevor would ever do anything I didn’t want him to, I wouldn’t have left with him.

When he stopped next to a sleek, low-slung gunmetal sports car, I whistled and ran my hand over the door handle. Trevor just shrugged as he pushed a button on the key fob and the car unlocked.

“It’s just a car. It’s not even mine. The rental place had a nice selection to choose from.”

I opened the door and slid into the soft leather seat, inhaling the scent of expensive car. As I pulled my seat belt around me, Trevor glanced over at me. This thing had to be over a hundred thousand dollars. At least.

“Well, at least you’re not freaking out about the car.” He deadpanned as a hint of a smile curled his lips.

“It’s a nice car.” With a smooth purr, the most expensive vehicle I’d ever ridden in started up and when Trevor pushed on the gas gently, the car vibrated with restrained power. When I settled back into the seat, a wave of exhaustion settled over me and I yawned, cutting off the low sound when I noticed Trevor watching.

“Sorry, long day.”

“Don’t apologize. You’re on your feet all day, aren’t you, between school and work?”

I shrugged, feeling a little bit overwhelmed now that I was in the car with him. The farther away from the restaurant we got, the more out of my element I felt. The man sitting next to me was dressed in a suit that probably cost more than several months’ wages. Even when I’d lived with my parents, we hadn’t had money to blow on fancy clothes and expensive cars.

I rested my hand over the rip in the knee of my worn cargo pants. Any extra money I had went straight into the bank. I questioned, for the first time since I’d stormed into the locker room, if I’d made a really good or a really poor choice tonight by agreeing to let him take me home.

Trevor cleared his throat, so much better at this whole conversation thing than I was. “So, I didn’t get much of the scoop back there when we were at the restaurant. How’s school really going?” he asked as he turned onto a side street.

“It’s okay.”

He glanced at me, his expression amused. “Just okay?”

I shrugged. “School is school. It’s just kind of boring right now. The techniques we’re working on in class are ones I already know from working at Sharpe’s and now Bistro 30.”

“How long is your training at the restaurant?”

Why all the questions? “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

He shot me a quizzical look. “Do what?”

“Make small talk. I know Ethan and Jamie—Chefs Martin and Lassiter—probably gave you a full list of appropriate topics of conversation.”

Trevor rolled his eyes. “You can use their first names with me, Tyler. I watched Jamie puke in the bushes in Paris from drinking too much wine when we were your age. I’m pretty sure we’re past the formal stage.”

I winced. My age, huh? I knew Ethan and Jamie were in their thirties, but the way that Trevor had just phrased it made me feel like even more of a kid then they usually did.

He laughed when he caught my expression. “Yeah, that didn’t make me feel way older than thirty-one, or anything.” He said jokingly in an old-man voice, “Back in my day...”

I echoed his laugh.

“You know what I mean. Let’s just say I won’t be calling Jamie ‘Mr. Lassiter’ anytime soon. Plus, Mr. Lassiter isn’t a name I’d ever associate with Jamie. It makes me think of his father.” His amused expression faded away and he gave me a serious look, then focused on the road.

A few turns later, Trevor glanced over at me. “And hey, I offered you a ride because you look dead on your feet. Not because you can’t handle yourself. And I’m asking you about school because I’m genuinely interested. I can be interested in how your classes are going. Can’t I?”

I waited for his expression to morph into pity, wondering if Ethan had told him anything about my situation with my parents, but when it didn’t and he just gave me a reassuring look, I felt some of the tension in my shoulders bleed out. “Sure. And, thanks.”

Trevor shot me a questioning look when my stomach growled.

I grumbled, “Well, that wasn’t embarrassing at all. Look if you’re going to lecture me, you can save it. Jamie and Ethan already tell me I don’t eat enough.”

Trevor didn’t say anything, but smoothly steered the car into the parking lot of a small diner. When he shut off the engine he grinned at me.

“No lecture. In fact, I already met my quota of them for the day. What are your thoughts on pancakes?”

“Pancakes?”

He unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car. I scrambled to follow, wondering what he was up to. I eyed the greasy diner and followed him inside, smiling at the tired-looking waitress who showed us to a booth.

Trevor smiled at her, all teeth. “Thanks, beautiful. A couple of seats at the counter will be fine.”

She waved off his compliment, but her smile gave it away how much she loved Trevor’s flirting. I shook my head at how he’d already charmed the woman, who had to be pushing sixty.

I followed him up to the counter and sat forward on the squeaky stool. In his expensive suit, with his fancy watch and the car sitting in the parking lot outside, Trevor looked like he belonged in a fancy Michelin star restaurant. Not a diner. And not with me.

When the waitresses set cups of coffee in front of us, Trevor took a sip of his and grimaced. “God, that burns. I forgot how diner coffee can be used as drain cleaner.”

Despite his comment, I decided to test mine out. “It’s not that bad. I’ve had worse.” I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye as the waitress set menus in from of both of us.

“You let me know when you’re ready, handsome.” She flashed him a smile and sauntered off, her ample hips swaying with none of the fatigue she’d shown when we first walked in.

I smiled as I watched her leave. Was there anyone he couldn’t charm?

His voice pulled my attention away from the waitress and back to him. “So, what are your thoughts on pancakes? Breakfast item only, or suitable for all-day consumption?”

He looked down at his menu as I scanned mine quickly. “I’m not really a sweets fan, even for breakfast. More of a savory person.”

He tilted his head and began to frown. “Savory, like lunch food? Or savory as in you like gravy on everything regardless of what meal it is?”

“I’m good with just about anything, but I like a blend of the two if I can get it. My favorite diner food is chicken and waffles.”

He grimaced. “Really?”

I laughed at his disgusted face. “You a breakfast purist?”

“Hardly. I just think the two should never touch. Chicken and waffles are separate entities for me.”

“Try them the way I like them, and I bet I can change your mind.” I shot him a challenging look and he blinked for a second, then turned to face the waitress, who’d appeared.

“You ready for me, handsome?” She fluttered her eyelashes dramatically and I snickered.

“I’m always ready for you—” Trevor glanced at her name tag, “Roberta.”

“Charmer. Now what would you and your friend like?”

Trevor turned to me and winked, a sly smile playing on his lips. “What would you like, Tyler?”

Friend? And what was up with his wink and smile? I mentally groaned and shook my head to focus. What had Trevor just asked me? What would I like? Oh, the list was long and I had no doubt most of the items on it could involve syrup. I cleared my throat and shook my head to get my mind off the various uses of syrup and back on food. “Chicken and waffles, please. And some orange juice.”

“I’ll have the blueberry pancakes with the side of bacon, Roberta. Thank you.” He flashed her a smile as she gathered up our menus and clipped the ticket onto the board, calling out our orders to the line cooks.

I raised my eyebrow. “Bacon?” He looked like he was more health-conscious than most of the people I knew in the restaurant biz.