In the Wake of Wanting (19 page)

I pull away from her and look her in the eyes.

“You wouldn’t be.”

“Okay.”

“I thought he’d done something to you. I was going to kill him, Coley. I honestly thought I was going to kill another man today. But, like… even if you had hooked up with him–”

“Trey–”

“No, wait. If you had, he had every right to be with you, and you with him.”

“Trey, there’s something else.”

“What?”

“Pryana’s in my room.”

I raise my brows. “Yeah?”

“She won’t go back to her apartment.”

“Why not?”

“Ummm… she was raped this weekend.”

“What?” I shake my head. “When?”

“After formal. After she got home, apparently. Her door was unlocked. Her keys are gone.”

Asher was with her, but he wouldn’t
rape
her. “Who did it?”

“She’s not sure. Trey, she doesn’t even know how she got home from the dance. It’s like she has a gap in her memory from… from about the time that you left until she woke up yesterday around noon.”

“When
I l
eft? Why does she remember when I left?”

“I don’t know, but she remembers you saying good night while she and Asher were dancing, and then she says she doesn’t remember anything else.”

“She doesn’t remember going to
The Wit
?”

“Huh?”

I nod my head. “She and Asher took a car to the offices. She walked in on her own. She led him in.”

“How do you know?” Coley asks me skeptically.

“I saw them.”

“When?”

“When I was outside waiting for you, Coley. I saw them.”

“And you didn’t think that was strange? Why didn't you tell me? I would think that was really odd, them going to
The Wit
that late on a Saturday night. I would have called her.”

“I did think it was weird, but I was afraid they’d seen me standing outside of this building. I just decided to let it go.”

“Because you didn’t want them to know you were with me.” I don’t answer. I’m not entirely sure she was asking me, anyway. “So it was probably Asher.”

“There’s no way, Coley,” I argue with her.

“Well, who else would it be, Trey?”

“I don’t know, but that’s a pretty crazy accusation to make, don’t you think?”

“No. It’s who she was with. It’s who was buying her drinks. It’s who she was relying on to get her safely there and back, so I don’t think it’s that absurd to make that connection.”

“You’re gonna need a lot more evidence than that.”

“Speaking as his
defense attorney
?” she asks, clearly upset. “As his
fucking loyal frat brother
? As an accomplice? This is why I didn’t think I could trust you. Someone probably had to help carry her.”

“Are you really accusing me of this right now?
Seriously
?”

“Well? Where’d
you
go after you left me? What was your real reason in abandoning a three-thousand-dollar-a-night hotel room–no, sorry, an entire floor of three-thousand-dollar-a-night hotel rooms? Because you wanted to sleep in your own bed? Come on, Trey.”

“
Home,
yes,” I say, sitting up straight and backing away from her. “You know I was at home. I called you from there.”

“You knew where she was. All I know is that you were drunk… And now I know you were fully aware of where she was.”

“With
Asher
, my best friend who wouldn’t–” I look around and lower my voice. “Who wouldn’t
rape
the girl he was with. Plus, he respects Pryana more than any girl I’ve ever known him to be around. He’s a flirt but he’s a decent guy.”

“Why did you come here then? If he’s so decent, why did you nearly have a panic attack on your way here? What did you think he’d done with
me
?” Her voice is so elevated that the other people in the room are now looking at us.

“Anything!” I yell, standing up. “Anything he’d have done with you would have been too much.
Anything
, with
you
. Don’t you get that?” I lean into her and speak quietly again. “But that has everything to do with the way I feel about
you
–not
him
.”

“Get out. Get out before I get my RA to drag you out of here. And you and Asher better have some solid fucking alibis.”

“Coley!” I grab her hand to stop her from walking away, but she’s much stronger than her small stature led me to believe. She jerks away from me, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking at me stoically. “Coley, wait.”

“What?”

I shake my head, just now coming to grips with what’s happening. Dragging my palms down my face and rubbing nervously at the stubble on my jaw, I ask her quietly, “How is she?”

She walks right back up to me and stands three inches in front of me, her head angled up to look at me. I put my hand on her arm, thinking her approach is a friendly gesture, but when she slaps my arm away, I realize how
very
wrong I am. “She was
raped
, Trey. How the fuck do you think she is?”

“Tell her…”
Tell her I’m sorry
sounds like I’m admitting guilt.
Tell her I’m thinking about her
sounds menacing if she really suspects I did it.

“I’ll tell her
you’re leaving
.”

I nod my head, chewing on my cheek in frustration as I stare after her.

Too impatient for the elevator, I see the exit for the stairs and run down all eight flights of them. The exit leads me outside, where I immediately wait for the next available cab. I know it’s just the middle of the day, but there’s no way I can just go resume classes like normal today.

“Columbus and 69
^th
,” I tell the driver when I get in, feeling my chest begin to tighten. I’m too tall to tuck my head between my knees, so I bend as best as I can and try to take deep breaths.

“You okay back there?”

“Yeah,” I say.

“You’re not going to throw up?”

“No.” I’m not actually sure, though. I do feel a little queasy this time around. I tuck my tongue against my cheek and try to think of something else, but feel all the blood rushing to my face. I’m concentrating so much on my breathing that I don’t even realize we’re at my parents’ house when we’ve stopped.

“Is this the right place?”

“Oh, yeah.” I pay through the app and get out, stumbling as I walk but quickly getting my footing. My parents rush out of the house.

“You had me so worried!” my mom says through tears. Her arms are around my waist on the sidewalk. She doesn’t realize her petite stature is keeping me steady, but it is. I hold on to her and start crying.

“What happened, Jackson?” Dad asks, putting his hand on my shoulder.

“I don’t know.” It’s about the best answer I can come up with off-hand.

“Come in the house. Livvy and Jon have been calling.”

“Why?” I ask, now having trouble walking
because
of my mom. “Mom, I’ve got it,” I whisper, keeping one arm around her and moving toward the house.

“Your collapse was on the news. Then no one knew where you were. We’ve been trying to call you.”

“I was supposed to be in class. My phone’s on silent, I’m sure.”

“Why aren’t you in class?” Mom asks, standing in the foyer and leaning against the door.

“It’s my
Wit
period. We can go wherever to work… and everything…” I sigh, then become overwhelmed with confusion and frustration. “Everything just got really fucked up.”

Dad raises his brows, surprised at my choice of words. I walk into the living room and sit down on the couch, dropping my head in my hands and letting tears flow freely. “Coley’s been avoiding me. I couldn’t figure out why. Asher thinks we hooked up–we didn’t–but he sort-of went off the rails about us. And Pryana–she’s our managing editor–she was raped over the weekend and Coley’s telling me I better have a good alibi, and I don’t have one.”

“What?!” I hear it in stereo from both of my parents.

“When?” Mom asks.

“Where?” Dad adds.

“After formal. Maybe at her place. She doesn’t even know.”

“How is she?” my mother follows up.

“Coley wouldn’t tell me.”

“Well, you were at the hotel, weren’t you? Surely your fraternity brothers can vouch for you,” my father says.

I shake my head. “I took Coley there.” Mom’s jaw drops open. “I didn’t feel like staying there, but the room was paid for, so I thought I’d do something nice for
her
. I showed her to the room and grabbed my things and went home. Alone… and proceeded to get wasted.”

“How did you get home?” Dad asks.

“I took the car service.”

“Okay.”

“And you got drunk… alone?” my mother asks.

I nod my head.

“And then what?” Dad asks.

“I called Coley. We talked for a few minutes, but she contends she has no proof where I was.”

“Were you at home all night?”

“Yes!”

“Jackson?” I look at my dad wearily. “You know we have extra security on your floor. We have cameras pointed at your door twenty-four-seven. They record non-stop. If you were there, they’ll
prove
you were there. I’ll call the company and request copies of the footage. It’s just a matter of finding out when the rape happened.”

“Who did she go to the dance with?”

I look at Mom. “She went with Asher.” I shake my head. “He’s a jerk sometimes, but he wouldn’t
rape
Pryana. It could be anyone! Right?”

“Sure,” she says. “What does he say?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him since I found out.” I try to remember everything we talked about today. “I saw him and Pryana after formal on Saturday. They went together to
The Wit
offices.”

“How do you know?”

“I was waiting for Coley outside of her dorm. I know all of this sounds wrong, but I was just trying to do something nice for a friend. That’s it.”

“Okay,” my dad says, but I can tell he’s struggling to understand my motives.

“I
did
talk to Asher about formal today, and he said he called a car to take Pree home after the dance. He didn’t mention leaving with her, or going by
The Wit
.”

“Did you confront him?”

“No. I was afraid he had seen me. I didn’t want to know if he’d seen me waiting outside of Coley’s dorm.” If that doesn’t reek of guilt, I don’t know what does. “I’m sorry.”

“This isn’t about that,” Mom says. “So, he lied?”

“He could have had a million reasons for lying. It doesn’t mean he raped her. I mean, no one should be at
The Wit
that late. There’s no reason to be there. What could they have been doing, right?”

“Exactly,” she says. “Was any work done? Any breaking news over the weekend?”

“No,” I say. “Coley says Pryana doesn’t remember even leaving the hotel. But she was walking on her own accord when I saw her.”

“Sounds like maybe she was drugged,” Dad says.

“Nobody would have drugged her. This was a
Sig Rho
formal event.” I shake my head. “You know we’re not like that.”

“I know
you’re
not capable of that,” my mother says. “I love your naivety, Trey, but some individuals are capable of awful things, no matter how many positive people they surround themselves with.”

“Asher wouldn’t do that. I would know. I’m a better judge of character than that.”

“I’m not saying it was him.” She shakes her head. “All you know right now is it wasn’t you. Help Pryana connect the dots, Trey. Put your investigative skills to use. Already you know a little more than she does.”

“Coley won’t let me talk to her. Coley won’t talk to
me
.”

“I’ll get the footage,” Dad says. “If Pryana doesn’t want you near her, fine. Ask questions of your brothers. Who was around? Who gave her drinks? You know the questions to ask.”

“Okay.”

“I’m guessing the police are already involved?” Mom asks.