In Tune (Red Bird Trail Trilogy Book 3) (8 page)

“Understood.” Rodrigo told him. “You might wanna get into your car, amigo; we’re about to start.”

*

Harper ran her
sweaty hands over her jean-clad thighs. Cash was running the Trail, and she was here, with a therapist. Doc Jones had suggested they meet separately a few times, and she’d told the two of them she’d be willing to meet them no matter the time. Late at night was sometimes what it would have to be.

“What do you feel like is the one thing holding you back from being happy in your life?” Doc Jones asked, watching Harper with a sharp eye.

There were many things that many people would say, and all of them would probably be true, but she knew exactly what hers was. It wasn’t money, it wasn’t worrying about her grades, it wasn’t worrying that her car might one day give up and not start on her. “The fear that my dad is going to come back and punish me for putting him in jail. He could have killed me, probably should have since I was the only witness to his crime, but he didn’t. Now, I live with that niggling sense of fear at the back of my neck every goddamn day, and I never relax.”

There she’d said it. Never before had she admitted that out loud. Not to anyone.

Doc Jones frantically made notes in the same yellow legal pad she’d had the first time Harper had come to visit. She took her glasses off and looked Harper square in the face. “I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d be this forthcoming with me, even without Cash here, but I’m glad you have been. I think easy is a relative term, but that was much easier than I thought it would be. Which tells me you’ve been thinking about it a very long time.”

“I have.” Harper breathed. “I can’t even put my finger on when it was, but at some point, I became sick of living my life in fear. Fat good it did, because I still haven’t figured out how to let that fear go.”

“Doesn’t matter. What
does
matter is that you’ve owned up to it; it’s your fear. It’s not some being floating out there on a mental plane that you can’t identify. This is yours. Now the question is how do you work through it.”

“I have no idea.” Harper shrugged her shoulders helplessly.

“You wanna know what I think?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I’m open to this because I want to move past this feeling that I have. I’m ready to be fixed. So fix me, Doc.”

Doc Jones did something she hardly ever did. She got up from her seat and went to sit next to Harper on the couch, grabbing the younger woman’s hand in hers. “What I’m going to tell you isn’t going to be easy, but I feel like you have to do it.”

“I’ll do anything. I want this over with. I want my life back.”

“Honey, you need to confront him. You need to talk to him, ask what the hell he was thinking when he did what he did. Ask him if he’s thought about retribution on you. Whatever he says, take it as the truth and move on with your life.”

Harper felt her heart stop; she was almost positive she was dying. “What?”

“You want answers? You ask the person you want the answers from. If you go to him, then you’ve taken the element of surprise away from him. You are in the driver’s seat.”

There was a part of Harper that realized the woman spoke truth; there was another part of her that thought the woman was in-fucking-sane. “I’ll think about it.” At this moment that was all she could promise.

“I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t think it would work. I don’t want you hurt any more than you already have been. The best gift you could give me would be to walk in here and tell me that you and Cash have worked out your problems and you’re a normal couple, but I know until you get the situation with your dad under control—you never will.” She paused for effect. “How long are you going to let him control your life? How long is too long? When is enough enough?”

That was the million dollar question.

‡
Chapter Thirteen

C
ash sat on
the couch, watching some show Remy loved on Netflix. Remy had gone to bed an hour ago, but Cash had been too lazy to turn it off. He glanced at the clock, wondering if he should call Harper. He’d expected her to be late, but he’d figured she’d be home by the time he got home from the Trail. A part of him wanted to make sure she was okay, but another part didn’t want to interrupt her individual session with Doc Jones.

He had picked up the phone and was fixing to dial her when he heard her car pull into their driveway. He listened for that every day, always scared that this would be the day she realized she couldn’t take it anymore. He was beyond scared she would decide one day that he and Remy asked too much of her and she’d be another one of the people who had left them. Living through it once had been hard; he knew without a doubt he wouldn’t be able to live through it again.

Harper coming through their front door was his most favorite part of the day.

“Hey,” he called as she entered and threw her stuff on the catch-all by the door.

Her head shot up, almost as if she were surprised that he was there. Maybe she hadn’t been expecting him to wait up on her. “Hey,” she said back.

“How did it go?”

He’d wondered if he asked the wrong question when she stopped what she was doing and stared at him. He began to seriously worry when the long moments turned into a minute.

“Harper?”

The sound she made tore at his heart, and he opened his arms and caught her, just as she threw herself at him.

*

Harper wasn’t sure
what had broken apart inside her body. She wasn’t sure either what had caused it. She supposed it could have been the session she’d had with Doc Jones, it could have been the picture Cash made sitting in the muted light of the television, or it could have even been the way he’d softly said her name. What she did know, immediately, was that she wanted him. Harper was sick of them tiptoeing around each other trying to find the perfect balance, trying to figure out what was right. She’d tried to find “right” before, and it’d gotten her nowhere.

In this moment, she said fuck it and threw “right” out the window. It was time to go with what felt good. It was time to go with what made her heart happy; screw her head. She threw herself at Cash, smiling against his strong chest when he caught her. As was normal, he didn’t wear a shirt with the sweatpants that rode low on his hips. Using it to her advantage, she pressed a soft kiss to his pectoral muscle, over where his nipple ring rested, right above his heart.

“Please, Cash, I know we both want this. I know it might not be the right time, but if we wait for the right time, it’s never going to happen. I need you.” She fisted his sweatpants in her hands. “I’ve been through the ringer tonight. I need to know you care about me; I need to know this isn’t a means to an end with us. We have a future, right?”

“Damn straight we have a future, Harper. Nothing is taking you away from me. Do you need me to prove that to you tonight?” he asked, his voice muffled as he buried his face in her hair.

“Then show me. Show me I don’t have to worry you’re not going to be here when I wake up in the morning.”

*

Purposely, Cash slowed
them down, digging his fingers in the hair at the back of her neck, massaging the tight muscles there, and tipping the weight of it onto the palms of his hands. Doing this exposed her neck, and he attacked slowly, dragging his lips down the curve of her neck, tilting his head to the left, and sinking his teeth into the smooth skin there. The best noise he’d ever heard in his life was the moan she let loose, and the best feeling he’d ever felt was the tightening of her fingers in his sweatpants, causing her nails to run along his abdomen.

Taking one hand from her neck, he hooked it around her waist and arched her towards him, gathering her to his body so that they touched from head to toe. Lazily, he dragged his teeth along the pulse point of her neck over to the other side, lightly nipping on her ear before pulling his mouth off her skin.

“C’mon,” he whispered, rubbing his nose against the outer shell of her ear, nuzzling her skin, letting his stubbly skin rub against her. “Let’s get out of the living room. If Remy gets up, we don’t need to give him a show.”

He pulled completely away and wrapped her up in his arms before letting go and taking her hand, pulling her with him to the bedroom.

*