In Your Arms (13 page)

When he brought her mouth back to his, she needed no more encouragement as she made love to him, wishing and hoping in her heart of hearts that this wouldn’t be their last time. But somewhere inside her cloudy mind, Melissa knew without a doubt that after what she’d just admitted, it would be.

Thirteen

“Father, where’s Marcus?”

Melissa walked back into the shop the next morning after noticing during her chores that the water trough was empty--the first time it had been empty since Marcus had accepted the job at Chuck’s General Store. Ever since she’d told him she did that chore on her own, he’d done it for her in the early hours of the morning. Now, as the sun peeked over the horizon, the trough was empty.

Her father busied himself by polishing the counter near the back, coughing into his hand and giving her a sigh but not an answer.

“Father?”

“Damn it.” He threw down the rag and startled her. “I didn’t want to do this to you, sweetheart.”

“Do what?” An unsettling dread crept into her heart.

“Marcus is gone, honey. He isn’t coming back.”

“Gone? What do you mean gone?”

“He told me yesterday afternoon that he’d be leaving in the morning. He simply wanted to move on to bigger and better things, I guess. He didn’t want me to tell you until he was long gone.”

Melissa stood there in disbelief, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. “He’s leaving?”

Chuck Bloom nodded sadly. “He might still be getting ready to leave at the livery stable. I’m not exactly sure when he’ll be heading out.”

“So he… he knew last night he was leaving? Last night when we… he
knew.
That son of a bitch!”

Turning on her heel, Melissa ripped open the front door and raced down the boardwalk toward the stable. Marcus McCaide wanted to leave her, and without even a word of explanation or goodbye? The man was going to get a good tongue-lashing before she was through with him!

Upon entering the building, she spied him strapping on his saddlebags with Pete already saddled, bridled, and ready to go.

“You’re just going to leave without even saying goodbye to me?” Melissa’s harsh voice echoed through the stables.

Marcus hesitated a moment but didn’t bother turning around to face her. “It’s for the best.”

“For whom? You?”

“For both of us, Lissa.”

“Marcus McCaide, I never knew you were such a coward.”

Turning around slowly, he pinned her with an icy stare. “I am not a coward.”

“Could have fooled me,” she spat, folding her arms on her chest, ready to do battle.

“I didn’t want to see you this morning, Lissa. I didn’t want to be in your presence. Every time I am, I’m consumed with this overpowering need to take you into my arms and…”

“And what, Marcus?” she challenged.

“It can’t be allowed to happen again. What’s gone on between us shouldn’t have happened at all. You were wrong to come to me the other night, but what’s done is done. If I stay here, sugar, it’s going to continue. The only way I can stop it is to leave.”

Melissa narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t call me that.”

“What?”

“Sugar.”

Marcus beat his hat a few times on his leg before putting it on his head. “Fine. I’ve got to go.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” He turned and mounted his horse in one easy move.

Melissa panicked and walked briskly over to the stallion. “Wait.”

“Lissa, we can’t--”

“Don’t be so obtuse, Marcus,” she interrupted. “I just wanted to say goodbye to Pete.”

He stayed silent as she stood in front of his horse, scratching his nose and hugging his black head.

“You stay safe, you hear me, boy?” she whispered, too afraid to look up at the man on Pete’s back. The moment she did, her tears would fall. “I’m going to miss you, Pete.” She smiled when he sniffed the pockets of her skirt. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any carrots today.”

Giving the horse a kiss on his soft nose, she couldn’t help but look up and gaze at Marcus’s handsome face one last time. She felt a shudder rip through her at the intense look in his eyes. Her chest rose and fell as she took short, labored breaths, knowing full well her tears shone in her eyes.

“Marcus,” she managed to say, “I hope you find what you’re looking for. And… and I hope you find a… woman who makes you happy.”

Unable to stay a moment longer, she turned and ran out of the stables. She didn’t stop until she was locked in her room above the general store, crying her eyes out on her pillow. Shirley snored in her bed, blissfully unaware of it all.

~ * ~

Marcus raced across the desert. He didn’t know where he was going and didn’t care. Melissa’s final words had ripped through his heart with a vengeance. He needed to run--he needed to forget--but, try as he might, the hot desert winds and the merciless sun did nothing to erase Melissa’s scent from his memory or her smile from his soul.

After what seemed an eternity, he slowed Pete down gradually, stopping in the shade of a nearby copse of trees. He was nearing the foothills surrounding Gideon’s Gulch, but he needed to stop and water his horse. Cursing foully, he jumped down and grabbed his water, stroking the horse’s soft nose.

Pete was covered in foam, and Marcus cursed again. He should know better than to run his horse aground in such hot weather. After taking off his saddle and bridle, Marcus rubbed him down as well, deciding to settle in under the shade of trees for the rest of the day. His stomach growled fiercely but he ignored it, sitting cross-legged on the ground and scowling at nothing in particular. The big black horse nudged his shoulder a few times, and Marcus reached up to stroke his face.

“Did I do the right thing, Pete? I’m not sure I did.”

The horse chuffed and tossed his head a few times as if in answer.

“Lissa is the only woman I’ve ever wanted to make love with night after night. She’s the only woman who isn’t afraid to stand up to me.”

Bending his head low, Pete cropped some weeds out of the ground and chewed.

“But this is for the best. It has to be. Lissa doesn’t want a man like me for a husband. If she ever knew…” He shuddered at the memory that tore through him: Women screaming, children crying, rapid gunshots ringing in his ears until he had to cover them with his hands. Tears he couldn’t stop fell down his cheeks as he remembered her face--the little girl’s face. Vacant eyes peering up at him, her life snuffed out before it had even begun.

More visions from that horrible day bombarded him--his gold star pinned proudly to his chest as he confronted the masked bank robbers in their bid for freedom. But he hadn’t thought they’d open fire on him in the middle of a crowded street. Suddenly, his own gun was drawn, returning their fire and killing three of the five bandits. The other two high-tailed it out of town, the money bags they’d stolen lying forgotten on the ground.

That was when he’d heard the woman’s piercing scream. Her daughter was dead, hit in the chest by his ricocheting bullet. The little girl, not much older than four years old, lay dead.

As Marcus ran to console her mother, the other deputies unmasked the bandits and cried out in shock. There, lying in a pool of blood, was Matthew McCaide, Marcus’s younger brother. He’d somehow gotten himself mixed up with a notorious gang from
Oklahoma
and now lay dead in the street--dead from Marcus’s own gun.

The pain had been too much to bear then, and even now it ripped through him mercilessly. Marcus couldn’t forgive himself, so how could he expect Lissa to forgive him for taking the life of a little girl and killing his own brother? She’d look at him in disgust; and she’d want nothing more to do with him.

No, this was for the best. After watching that poor child die, Marcus had no inclinations to be a family man. How could he possibly raise a child when all he could see was that little girl’s empty eyes?

Pulling his knees up to his chest, Marcus wept. He’d lost it all, his brother, his badge, his self-respect, and now Lissa. He’d lost Lissa, and she thought he didn’t want her, just like all the others she’d fallen for.

“Son of a bitch!”

He threw a rock across the sand. He’d known he would end up breaking Lissa’s heart one day. What he hadn’t counted on was breaking his own as well.

Fourteen

The weeks following Marcus’s departure were agony for Melissa. Not a single customer who came into the shop failed to mention where they thought he’d gone, and every reminder of him stabbed right through her wounded heart. Even Shirley had taken pity on her and told her to sleep in on a few occasions.

She looked terrible and felt even worse, with dark circles under her eyes from fitful sleeping. Her tears came easily now, coming when she least expected them. She was exhausted, hurt, and angry.

How dare Marcus leave because he thought it was best! He hadn’t even asked for her opinion. Didn’t she have a say in their relationship as well? It only left one reason why: he didn’t want her. Despite his tender words to her when she’d been in his arms, he hadn’t meant them, and that hurt most of all.

But she shouldn’t be surprised. He’d warned her he’d break her heart, after all. She just hadn’t wanted to believe it, and his leaving had simply proven that Marcus was a man of his word.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t hate him for what he’d done. They wouldn’t have been able to continue their affair the way they had been, not without a ring on her finger. But her arms ached to hold him, and she yearned to breathe him in. Her body missed his hot mouth and strong embrace. Whenever she felt her nipples pebble at the thought of him, she groaned and tears escaped her at the knowledge that she’d never have him again in her life.

And that was the hardest part to take. How could she expect to continue living day to day when the man she loved more than life itself had turned his back on her? It didn’t take long before Melissa slipped into self-loathing, hating herself for who she was. Working quietly in the back of the shop, she watched her sister flirting shamelessly with the men of the Gulch on a daily basis, and Melissa would have to busy herself or risk weeping right then and there.

“Lissa, are you all right?” her father asked one day as she stared at the counter, her face pale.

The room was spinning, and she couldn’t stop it as she felt lightheaded. The oppressive heat in the general store suddenly weighed down on her, and she gasped for air. Tiny black spots clouded her vision as she tried to bat them away with her hands.

“Father?” she cried right before she crumpled to the floor.

~ * ~

“Lissa?”

In a rush, her hearing returned, sounding like a thousand galloping horses pounding in her ears.

“Lissa?”

The voice was familiar. Melissa opened her eyes and squinted up into the concerned face of Dr. Newcomb.

“Timothy?”

“Thank goodness you are all right!” He beamed at her, making his mustache bristle.

“What happened?”

“You fainted, dear girl,” he said, helping her sit up.

Looking around, she could see she was on a couch in his office.

“I told your father to wait outside.”

“Am I all right?”