Incineration (Heart of Stone) (44 page)

A small snarl at the back of the room snapped my head round
towards it. My heart lurched and my blood rushed through my veins as I could
make out Masons silhouette in the darkness, leaning against the wall.

My breathing steadied and my courage surged, my inner self
was cheering at his presence and I knew there and then he was here for me, to
help me through what had to be done.

“I loved watching your bastard of a boyfriend screw you roughly.
You deserve to be fucked savagely like an animal” he snarled.

I dropped Sam’s hand and grasped the material of my skirt at
my thighs and hitched my skirt up fractionally but slowly “Oh and let’s not
forget your other lover. You really are the ultimate whore Ava” he sneered and
I noticed Sam glance at me with confusion etched on his face.

I was so pleased I was wearing my 4 inch spiked heeled boots
when I smashed my foot into his face.

 His cheek bone exploded under the collision and he let out
a high pitched squeal. I stood looking at him, still expressionless before I shattered
his face with my fist.

He was hanging limply now, not able to talk anymore and I
tipped my head at him. Sam reached out to me, a gun in his hand and I glanced
up at him. He nodded encouragingly and I took it from him, gripping it tightly
in my fingers. I swallowed harshly, my dry throat scratching at the effort. My
palms were sweating and I kept licking my dry cracked lips.

I placed the muzzle against his forehead and he whimpered
but he didn’t move.

I’ll admit I was struggling. Fighting with my inner self to
do this, to do what was needed and expected of me. My breathing was heavily and
laboured and I was striving to support my legs, my nerves making them tremble violently.
I wasn’t sure I could do it and I remained still and quiet for a couple of
minutes, panting and sweating heavily.

A movement in the corner of my eye ordered my attention and
Mason came into view. He stood beside me, his eyes were soft but his face was
hard and unreadable and he took my hand, grasped it firmly and the feel of it,
securely held in mine damn near broke my heart.

My body came alive with the feel of him, my senses were now
on high alert and the hairs on my body stood, as though reaching out to him; my
soul mate was close and my body reacted instinctively to him.

I knew I had to do this for Mason, for the pain and
devastation Lee had drilled through Mason when he sent him the photos, when he
broke both our hearts.

He nodded once and I closed my
eyes, took a deep steadying breath and pulled the trigger.

My stomach heaved as I felt his blood splatter my face and I
turned quickly and vomited on the cold concrete.

Hands came around my hair, pulling it back from my face as a
hand settled on my back. I retched again and again until I had nothing left to
give.

I refused to look at Lee; I didn’t need that image in my
head so I turned towards the door and stood.

My heart ached as I realised it was Sam who held my hair;
Mason was nowhere to be seen. He had helped me through what was needed and then
left. His obvious repulsion and loathing of me ripped me open.

I had lost the man that had given me his love so freely and
unconditionally. I had hurt him so much that he couldn’t see a way back but I
understood him completely and totally.

Sam took my hand and we exited the room “Clear up” he said
bluntly to the other men and escorted me back to his car. He placed me in the
front seat next to him and he crouched down in the door frame “You okay?” he
asked compassionately and I just nodded “He loves you Ava” he said simply and I
looked into his sad eyes

“I hurt him so much Sam”. He nodded and squeezed my hand and
then drove me to Courtney’s.

She was stood in the doorway waiting for me after Mason had
rung and told her to expect me. She took me in, bathed me and curled up behind
me in bed and held me all night long.

I returned to my little cottage the next day and was
thrilled when I found it redecorated and furnished with brand new furniture and
I couldn’t hold back the huge smile when I saw a large flat screen TV fixed to
the wall above the fireplace.

I was tempted to text Mason to thank him but refrained,
knowing he wouldn’t want to hear from me.

My bedroom exhibited a brand new king sized white iron bed
with crisp white linen embroidered with soft blue orchids that reminded me of
France and I loved it immediately.

I received a delivery of pink and white roses in the
afternoon and my heart soared when I thought they were from Mason and I opened
the attached card

Thank you for sharing a part
of you with me

I will always love you

Goodbye Ava

Be happy

Kade xxx

I finally cried then; loudly, gut-wrenchingly and painfully
until my head and throat hurt. I had not only destroyed myself but the man I
loved with all my soul and heart and another man who would sell his soul to
have me.

The next several weeks dragged by and I wasn’t eating
properly or sleeping. My body was screaming at me for relief to my punishment
and I was constantly ill from the effect of not enough food, too much coffee
and self-loathing and I was permanently tired.

Courtney had insisted she came round to cook lunch for me
“Ava, you look like shit. You need to pick yourself up babe” she scolded as she
placed a mushroom omelette in front of me and my stomach rolled “It’s just
something light. You should be able to manage it” she frowned and then cocked
her head at me “What? I’m eating” I mollified, picking up my fork and breaking
off a small amount.

Her eyes widened suddenly and she dropped her fork “Ava” she
whispered and I frowned “Courtney, what’s wrong?” her wide eyes and open mouth
frightened me “Babe, when did you last have your period?” she asked quietly and
I shrugged “Erm…” I gasped and widened my own eyes in reflection to Courtney’s
“Oh my god” I wheezed “I can’t be” I breathed but knew I could be.

Courtney jumped up and grabbed her bag “I’ll be ten minutes”
she said as she raced from the house.

Thirty minutes later we were sat on the edge of the bath
staring at the little word on the test
‘pregnant’

“Oh my God” I whispered “Oh my God!” I repeated and then repeated
again with a grin “Oh my god Courtney, I’m having a baby” I cried and her
answering joyous grin and tear streaked face brought my own tears of joy.

We hugged and danced around the room and hugged again. She
bent down and put her mouth to my stomach “Hey peanut, Aunty Courtney here. I
want to you to snuggle in tight and keep safe for your mummy because we both
love you so much” she said seriously and I broke out in a sob and we hugged,
laughed and danced some more.

“Are you going to tell him?” she asked a while later as we
were sat at the kitchen table. I lowered my eyes “I can’t Courtney. He hates me
and I know he’ll think it’s Kades baby, even though Kade didn’t...you
know…finish” I said sadly and she nodded “I don’t think he hates you Ava” she
appeased but I looked at her “Courtney, I broke his heart. I betrayed him in
the worst way possible and because of those damn photos, he will always have
the whole Technicolor image of me and Kade tattooed in his mind”

She nodded sorrowfully and squeezed my hand “What are you
doing about Brian and Brenda’s anniversary tomorrow night?”

 I had received the invitation for their thirtieth wedding
anniversary party a week ago and Brenda had rung me and insisted that I go,
being as though I was now ‘unofficially’ her daughter. I was pleased that they
had insisted I kept in touch with them and over the last few weeks they had
been supportive and also quite angry at how I was mistreating myself

“I’ve got to go, you’re invited too and I need you there.
I’ll just try to keep out of his way and hide my feelings behind a smile” I
told her “I don’t think he will go anyway. He’ll know that I’m invited so…” I
didn’t finish and we both sat quiet in our own thoughts.

Eventually Courtney stood up and held out her hand “Come on
mama; let’s go get some food in you. My treat” she grinned and I grinned back,
knowing I now had to pick myself up and feed my little ‘peanut’ as Courtney had
called him/her.

Placing a hand over my belly I smiled and closed my eyes in
a silent prayer for ‘Little Mason’ to look over his brother or sister.

The next night Courtney and I strolled into the already
heaving party. I was grateful for the dimmed lights as I was amazed I hadn’t
noticed my little belly bump already until I donned the tight cream lace dress
I had bought especially for tonight. I had fallen in love with it immediately.
It was thigh length and the top part was pure intricate lace that had an
invisible bra fitted into it but the outline of my breasts were discreetly
visible and the effect was ultra-sexy but chic and sophisticated. The lace
blended diagonally into cream silk that hugged my curves and now I had an extra
curve. I had been appalled and told Courtney I couldn’t wear it but she said I
looked amazing and it was only because I knew I was pregnant that I noticed my
little round tummy.

We found Brian and Brenda already and I had already given
them their gift of a weekend in Saint Tropez to which Brenda cried and couldn’t
thank me enough.

“You look amazing Ava, still a little pale and skinny but
stunning. You always know what to wear to enhance your beauty” Brian praised
and I blushed at his comment. Brenda smiled widely and hugged me and then they
left me and Courtney to attempt to squeeze between the hoard of people at the
bar

“Rum and coke and a vodka and cranbe…ooh no cancel that last
one, I’ll have a cranberry and soda” I grumbled and the barman gave me a
quizzical look and then laughed “You sure Darlin’?” I smiled back and nodded.

He stood and blatantly perused me over the bar, his eyes
lingering a little too long on my mouth and then shook his head slightly as if
to clear a thought and went to fetch our drinks.

When he returned and I paid he grasped my hand as he passed
me my change and pulled me a little further towards him and he leant right over
the bar. I was surprised by how far he could reach until I realised he was
practically laid on the bar “Will you dance with me in my break?” he asked
loudly in my ear. I smiled shyly, blushed but nodded my head producing a huge
grin from him.

 “I’ll find you soon then” he winked and then turned back to
another customer.

 Courtney giggled in my ear “Ooh, pulled already” I rolled
my eyes and we went in search of friends.

“Ava” I heard a shout from the other side of the room and I
turned to see Marcy waving frantically at me. I grinned and pulled Courtney
over to the table

“Ava, where the hell have you been hiding?” she smiled and
gestured for us to sit “Oh you know” I smiled timidly and she grabbed my hand
and squeezed it tight “We’re still friends though, right?” she asked cautiously
and I grinned and squeezed her hand back “Of course”

I scanned the table and greeted everyone “How you doing?”
Sam asked as he looked me over with a scowl “Ava, you’ve lost weight” he
scolded and I shrugged “I’m good. How are you Sam?” he smiled and nodded but
his eyes were still narrowed on me. I reached over and grasped his hand as I
leaned in to his ear “I never got to thank you Sam for…for what you did for me
with Lee” I whispered and he shook his head “I just wished everything had
turned out better Ava” he whispered back as he smiled sadly at me. I bit my lip
and nodded “Me too”.

“Oh God!” Greg groaned and we all looked to him. He noticed
us waiting for an explanation and he seemed to kick himself “Nothing” he
grimaced but I could see his eyes flicking behind me nervously and I turned to
look at what had grabbed his attention. Mason had walked in and was already
surrounded by people, talking and wanting his attention.

My mouth dried instantly at the sight of him, my heart
rammed against my breast bone and the damn lump was back in my throat. My blood
froze as the crowd parted for him and I saw Rebecca hung on his arm, her small
round belly protruding in front of her. The lump seemed to grow too big for my
windpipe and I made a strange gurgling noise as my hands started to sweat. I
bit my bottom lip savagely and turned back to the table

“Ava…” Sam said sadly and I faked a smile and shook my head
“Hey, I deserve it. I’m good” I swallowed a large mouthful of my drink as
Courtney’s hand rested on mine “You wanna take off?” she asked and I could see
her hurt, anger and love pleading with me.

I was just about to nod to her when a breath whispered
across my cheek “You ready for that dance Darlin’?” I turned to see the barman
leant into me. Our eyes caught as I looked at him and his eyes dropped to my
mouth. He sucked a small breath in through his teeth and his eyes burnt with
desire “I was just leaving” I told him quietly and he cocked his head in
question “You promised” he smiled slyly “And you must always keep promises” he
winked, grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

His eyes skimmed over me and his smile grew wicked “
Nice
”
he breathed under his breath and his eyes settled on mine. He tugged me harder
so I was pulled up against him “This doesn’t look like a dance floor” I smirked
“No” he pursed his lips and turned round, pulling me behind him.

We reached the floor and he spun back round to me and
grinned wickedly as he turned to the DJ and nodded. The track that was playing
suddenly stopped and Kings of Leon’s ‘
closer
’ started playing. I shook
my head in laughter as he skimmed his bottom lip with his tongue and his eyes
lit up.

 He took hold of my hand as he pulled me into his strong
frame and then he started moving…Jesus this man could dance.