Indelible (17 page)

“Pull it together, Sam,” I said to myself.

I breathed in deeply one last time before I turned to go back inside the house, rubbing my sore boob as I walked.

Judd was probably glad that he’d seen how crazy I could be before he got too invested in our relationship. I was sure he was at the bar and drinking with his friends, grateful that he’d dodged a bullet.

I cleaned up the mess we’d made for dinner earlier and focused on counting in my head.

Was she ever going to fall asleep from exhaustion? I was sure ready to.

A knock at the door caused Karrie to pause her screaming for a moment, but when she saw me walk into the room she started right up again.

I hoped whoever it was brought earplugs.

I opened the door and was truly shocked to see Judd standing there. His dark hair was still damp from the shower, and he had on a dark T-shirt with work jeans.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. “I said I couldn’t go out.”

He nodded, his green eyes looking at me intently. “I had a buddy drop me off.”

Karrie’s screams turned to whimpers at the sound of his voice. He looked past me before he walked in, leaving me standing there still looking outside.

He walked over to Karrie and picked her up, murmuring something in her ear and stroking her back as he carried her back toward her room.

She stopped crying and sighed loudly.

Really?

I didn’t know whether to kiss him or throw a shoe at him. Instead, I headed back into the kitchen and opened a bottle of wine. I left it on the table and walked around, straightening up. I heard water running in the bathroom and assumed that he was washing the caked-on snotty mess off of her face.

Karrie didn’t make a peep. The little traitor.

I heard them going into her bedroom as I picked up her toys and put them in the bin. I looked at the clock on the DVD player and was surprised to see that it was already after nine o’clock.

I knew Judd had a night game that evening, one that I’d been hoping to go to, but things just hadn’t worked out. Sometimes I didn’t get to do the things I wanted to do.

Who was I kidding? Most of the time I didn’t get to do what I wanted to do.

I went back and poured myself a glass of wine, taking an aspirin and washing it down. I looked out my kitchen window and listened to Judd’s low voice rumbling in the other room.

It began to calm my nerves.

Well that, coupled with the wine, began to calm my nerves.

I took my wine and picked up the movie I’d rented from a machine at the grocery store earlier and put it in. I hoped Judd was in the mood for a love story.

The previews had just finished when Judd came out of Karrie’s room, shutting the door behind him. He walked over and sat down on the couch next to me. He took the wine glass out of my hand and set it on the end table next to the couch, then eased me down so I was lying with my head in his lap.

When he leaned back and settled in, he started to run his fingers through my hair, and I brought my hand up to discreetly brush away the tears that were forming in my eyes.

Sam was still sleeping soundly on the couch when I heard Karrie stirring in her bedroom. I gently eased my arm out from under Sam’s head and rolled off the couch.

I looked down to make sure I hadn’t woken Sam, then went back to Karrie’s room and slowly opened the door.

Karrie was sitting up on the bed, looking dazed and sleepy, but when she saw me peeking through the doorway her face lit up.

“Dudd!” she yelled happily.

I put a finger to my lips and said, “Shhh. We don’t want to wake up your mommy.”

Karrie grinned.

“Do you want to help me make breakfast?” I asked, walking up to her with my arms outstretched.

Karrie nodded and put her arms up to meet mine.

I started to walk out and I made an exaggerated movement to look around the corner to make sure Sam was still asleep on the couch, which only caused Karrie to giggle more.

Damn, that had to be the best sound in the world.

I tip-toed into the kitchen. I turned to Karrie and asked, “Where do you keep the food?”

She pushed away from me and shimmied down, urging me to place her on the floor. When her padded feet hit the linoleum, she walked over to a cupboard and looked up at me, pointing to the door.

I opened the cupboard and looked around. I turned back around, a box of pancake mix in hand, and handed it to Karrie to hold while I looked for a pan. I found two, and then I looked in the fridge for the milk, eggs, and some bacon.

I put everything on the counter and turned to pick up Karrie and sit her on the counter as well. I took the pancake mix from her hands, warming at the way she smiled up at me.

I tweaked her nose and then reached above her for a bowl. When I poured all of the ingredients into the bowl, I placed the whisk in Karrie’s palm and put my large hand around her tiny one. We mixed it all together as the pan heated.

I was dropping a spoonful of mix into the pan when Sam’s voice filled the kitchen.

“Good morning. What’s all this?”

“‘An’akes,” Karrie said sweetly.

“Mmmm, pancakes?” Sam responded, leaning in to nuzzle Karrie’s neck, causing her to squeal in delight. She then leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” I responded with a smile.

“Thanks for last night,” she whispered in my ear.

“Happy to help,” I responded, and I had been. I heard the stress in Sam’s voice when I’d talked to her on the phone last night.

I’d been high on our win and excited at the prospect of showing Sam off to the team and celebrating with her. But when I’d hung up the phone I was no longer concerned about hanging out at the bar with the guys. I wanted to get to Sam and help her through whatever had put that stress in her voice.

When I’d arrived and seen her tear-stained face and heard Karrie’s pathetic wailing, I felt an overwhelming need to fix things for the both of them.

It was satisfying to know that I’d made things easier on the two of them. I hoped that in the future, Sam would feel comfortable coming to me for help instead of trying to push me away and do everything on her own. Now I just needed to work up the nerve to tell her that.

“Do you need me to do anything?” Sam asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“You can set the table,” I replied.

Once I had a pile of pancakes and a plate of bacon, I moved them to the table and sat down, suddenly starving.

We started to plate our food and my phone beeped.

“Meeting at the field in 30. On my way to pick you up.”

It was from Tuck.

“Got it.”

“Everything okay?” Sam asked as she took a bite of bacon.

“Yeah. I have to meet the team in thirty minutes at the field, so my buddy is coming by to pick me up.”

“That’s right; you said you were dropped off last night. Where’s your bike?”

“It’s at the ball field. We were already on our way to the bar when I called, so I just asked to be dropped off rather than drive back to the field,” I explained.

Sam nodded and played with the food on her plate a bit before saying, “I’m sorry about the way I was on the phone last night.”

“Hey.” I reached out and ran my hand up her arm, caressing her. “I get it. You were having a rough night. I just want you to know that when you are having a bad day you can come to me for help.”

“Dudd,” Karrie said, reaching her hand toward me, trying to get my attention.

“Someone’s jealous,” Sam said with a smile.

I ran my hand along Karrie’s arm, the same way I’d done with Sam, and was rewarded with a smile and a giggle.

Once we were all done we cleared the table, but Sam stopped me before I could.

“I’ve got it,” she said, ushering me toward the living room.

I grabbed Karrie from her high chair and took her with me, letting her down in front of her toy box and sitting on the floor next to her.

“What do you want to play with?” I asked Karrie, laughing when she almost toppled into the bin. I grabbed her legs and helped her out. She turned and handed me a barn toy that she’d managed to secure from the bottom of the bin.

I opened the door and pressed the cow. Karrie clapped when a mooing sound erupted from the toy.

She leaned in and pressed the sheep, then clapped when it baa’d.

Karrie turned and backed up until she landed in my lap. She sat back and brought the barn closer to her, pressing the buttons for each animal and clapping every time they made a sound.

There was a knock at the door and assuming it was Tuck, I tried to get up to answer it. I was placing Karrie on the couch when Sam beat me to the door.

I heard Tuck’s voice when she opened it, saying, “Hey is Judd here?”

I shouted, “Coming!”

I bent down to Karrie and smiled. “I’ll see you later, baby girl.” I kissed her swiftly on the cheek, then rose and walked to the door.

Sam was standing in the open door, her back was to me, so I couldn’t see her expression, but I saw Tuck’s.

He was frozen…shocked.

“Everything okay, man?” I asked with concern as I neared him.

When I got to the door, I looked at Sam and saw the identical expression on her face.

“What’s going on?” I asked, puzzled.

Sam shook her head and looked at me, pain and confusion apparent on her face.

“He’s Karrie’s father,” she answered, turning my world upside down.

“What are you doing here, Tucker?” I asked tightly. I hadn’t seen him since the day I’d told him I was pregnant. I’d worked very hard to ensure that I didn’t see him.

“I’m here to pick up Judd for practice,” he answered. The expression on his face would have been hysterical if his words didn’t make me want to cry.

“He’s the buddy you were talking about?” I asked, turning to Judd for the first time since I’d answered the door.

Judd looked dumbfounded. He looked from me to Tucker and back again.

“Wait…” Judd began. “What?”

“This is the girl you’ve been seeing?” Tucker asked Judd, a bewildered look on his face. “You never said she had a kid.”