Indelible (24 page)

“I’ll be there.”

Saturday, September 26

“Have you called her yet?” Tori shielded her eyes from the sun and watched Oliver at bat. “Whoo! Oliver!”

“No.” Between Oliver’s game, Luna in the next field, and Tori’s constant chatter, something needed to give.

Oliver swung and missed.

“You could always talk to her here.” Tori clapped her encouragement, and Angie wasn’t sure who it was intended for, Oliver or her.

Jack kept his eyes on Oliver. “What are you two talking about?”

“Luna.” Tori answered, not Angie.

Strike two for Oliver.

“Really?” Jack sounded hopeful. “What about her?”

“Focus on your grandson, Dad.” Angie pointed toward the field. Oliver deserved their attention.

“But she’s right there.” Tori pointed to the players’ bench where Luna was seated. “The least you could do is wave.”

“Luna’s here?” Jack searched the park, his head swiveling like a bobble-head doll. “Where? I haven’t seen her.”

“Dad!” Angie snapped her fingers. “Oliver.”

“Oh, right.” Jack looked back in time to see Oliver’s third strike. “Damn.”

Oliver’s face turned red and Angie thought for a moment that he would throw the bat. He hated to strike out, and it wouldn’t have been the first time his temper got the best of him. Angie willed him to make a good choice. He gripped the bat white-knuckle tight, walked to his teammates, and set it against the fence with overt precision. Angie was proud. Self-control was better than a home run.

The coach patted Oliver on the shoulder and led him to his seat on the bench. Oliver turned and smiled at Angie. She gave him a thumbs-up.

“Tori’s right, you should go say hi,” Jack said.

“Not right now.” Angie focused on her water bottle, wanting to move to a new topic as much as Jack wanted to hold on to this one.

“But you will,” Tori said. It was not a question.

“Maybe.” Angie shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“What’s your problem?” Tori asked, much quieter than Angie expected. She didn’t normally hold back even if other people were around.

Angie sighed. “You know what my problem is.”

“Get over it.”

“She won’t wait forever, you know.” Jack’s pearl of wisdom came over the top of Tori’s reply.

“Dad, I’m not asking her to wait.” Angie said the words, but her heart protested.

“You’re usually so much smarter than this.” Tori looked frustrated and pissed off. “You’re giving Ruby exactly what she wants. Wrapped up with a big bow on top.”

Angie rolled her eyes. “You’re being melodramatic.”

“No, I’m not. Ruby throws one or two little punches, and you don’t even fight back. If you want Luna, you need to be willing to say so.”

“Do you want her?” Jack took her hand, a little too much comforting parent. Angie pulled it away.

“Yes.” She answered reflexively then quickly recovered. “No.” But that wasn’t true either. “Shit. I don’t know.” She had an eerie déjà vu of their first conversation about Luna while sitting one field away. Ruby had kept her from talking to Luna that day as well.

The couple in front of them turned around and glared at Angie. Curse words at Little League games were never a good idea.

She flushed and muttered, “Sorry. Can you guys just let it go and watch Oliver?”

“You need to decide. Soon.”

Angie glanced over at Luna. Their game was over and she was packing her gear. She met Angie’s gaze and held it, her desire and heartbreak apparent. She took a half-step toward Angie, shook her head as if trying to clear her thoughts, then resumed her trip to the parking lot.

“You couldn’t even wave to her? Damn.” Tori whistled. “That’s cold.”

The couple glared again and Tori ignored them. Angie was grateful she didn’t flip them off. Tori could be impulsive.

“You aren’t running off to be with Perez.”

“That’s different.” Tori blew an air kiss to Perez across the field. “I’m seeing her after the game, but right now I’m here to support Oliver.”

“So am I.”

“You’re meeting Luna after the game?” Jack smiled. He was so hopeful, Angie almost hated to disappoint him.

“No. I’m here to support Oliver.”

Tori pointed to the teams lined up exchanging an unenthusiastic round of good-game high fives. “Well, the game is over. How about we support him with pizza now?”

“I could go for that.” Jack never said no to pizza. Or any other treat, for that matter.

Angie couldn’t believe the game was over. “Who won?” It wasn’t like her to miss details like entire innings.

Tori shrugged. “I have no idea. Hug him like he did, though. Okay?”

“Right.” Angie realized that, but sometimes it was a good idea to know the actual score at the end of a sporting event. She waved at Oliver and motioned for him to join them. He dragged Josh along.

“Great game, sport.” Jack punched Oliver lightly in the shoulder. It must have been a male-bonding gesture because Angie just didn’t get it.

“We thought we’d take you to celebrate.” Angie skipped the faux-punching and settled for an awkward hug. Oliver was ten, and sweaty, and not at all interested in hugging his mom in front of his friends.

“Can Josh come, too?”

“Where’s your mom, Josh?”

Josh pushed his bangs out of his eyes. “Not sure. She was supposed to be here, but I haven’t seen her all game.”

“Come on, then. We’ll grab some pizza and drop you afterward.” Angie offered Josh her phone. “Call her and let her know.”

“Awesome.” Josh snatched the phone and tackled Oliver. After a brief scuffle, Oliver threw him off and broke into a sprint.

Angie debated yelling after them to slow down. She couldn’t afford a new phone if their roughhousing resulted in damage. They were almost to the edge of the field and would stop there to wait anyway, so she held back.

Josh stopped running a few feet shy of the perimeter and turned to wait for the adults. Oliver, however, laughed when he realized Josh wasn’t chasing him. He yelled, “Loser,” over his shoulder and kept running, his head facing the field while his body charged into the parking lot.

Angie watched as Oliver ran into the lane of traffic. Time slowed impossibly as she yelled and reached for him, too far away to stop events from toppling drastically off-kilter. On the periphery, she heard the screech of tires on pavement and the blare of a horn, but her eyes never left Oliver’s. He smiled and laughed, completely unaware of the car moving too fast to avoid him.

Oliver folded over the hood, then was flung several feet forward where he landed in a slump on the blacktop. Reality slammed the air from Angie’s lungs and her legs wobbled uncontrollably. Somehow, she managed to run.

The driver jumped out of the car and raced to the front, but stopped short of Oliver. “I didn’t see him. I swear I didn’t see him.” The woman’s face was ghost white. Angie wanted to smack her. But first she wanted to get to Oliver.

She crouched on the ground next to him, careful not to touch. She wanted to scoop him up, hold him, kiss away all the boo-boos. Instead she watched, unable to think beyond repeating, “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.”

Strong hands gripped her arms, forcing her to move back. “No! Oliver!” She screamed, kicked, scratched. She had to be with Oliver.

“Angie, honey, Luna’s got him.” Jack’s voice, soft and reassuring, reached her. “She can help.”

Luna knelt over Oliver. Without looking up she said, “Call nine-one-one.”

“Is he all right?” Angie tried not to panic. She forced herself to breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth. “He has to be all right. Tell me he’s all right.”

“Mom?” Oliver’s voice was weak, and Angie barely heard him over the rising excitement around her. She struggled against Jack’s hold and half walked, half crawled to where he lay on the blacktop.

“Careful,” Luna warned, pulling her into a gentle embrace. “His arm is probably broken.”

Angie cried and watched as Oliver tried to sit up. Luna released Angie and placed a restraining hand on Oliver’s shoulder. “Easy there, tiger. Just stay still until the ambulance arrives, okay?”

Oliver mumbled something Angie couldn’t understand, then closed his eyes.

Unable to move, unable to even
think
,
Angie clung to Luna until the ambulance arrived. She watched as they loaded her son onto a stretcher, careful to keep his head stable, and moved him to the ambulance. She climbed in with him and met Luna’s searching gaze through the open doors. The revolving red and blue lights from the responding police car cast an eerie reflection on Luna’s face.

“I’ll meet you at the hospital,” Luna said, then disappeared into the crowd, taking Jack, Tori, and Josh with her.

The driver closed the door and the paramedic attending Oliver directed her to a rear-facing seat. “Put on your seat belt.”

Her fingers were completely numb, without strength and flexibility. After fumbling for several seconds, she felt the metal snap in place and cried harder with relief.

From inside the ambulance, the sound of the siren was surprisingly muted, the ride relatively smooth. Angie felt as though she were inside a fishbowl, distorted and confused. Maybe she was caught in the middle of a bad dream.

Dream or not, Angie wanted to wake up now.

*

Angie smoothed her fingers through Oliver’s hair. So soft. She regretted every time she’d wished he would calm down long enough for her to hold him, that he’d sit still and let her ruffle his hair like he did when he was little. Now, with him lying exhausted and broken in a hospital bed, she wanted him to hop up and run away, taunting her as he went. Of course that didn’t happen.

Jack heaved himself out of the seat. “Angie, I’m going to get something to drink.” He looked old. His face was drawn and tense, with dark circles under his eyes.

“Dad, why don’t you go home? Take a shower. Bring me back a change of clothes.” She wished he would get some sleep. It would do him wonders.

“Maybe later.” He shuffled through the door, looking to the left for a prolonged moment before turning to the right. Eventually, he would find the cafeteria, or a vending machine.

Angie nodded, not because Jack was looking for some type of acknowledgment, but more as an extension of the autopilot mode she’d been functioning under since the car struck Oliver.

Not that Oliver’s condition was life-threatening. Far from it. A broken arm, a bruised rib or two, a black eye, and more bumps and bruises than Angie could count. Now it was just a matter of letting his body heal and the excitement pass. She’d been inundated with a whirlwind of hematomas, contusions, and a host of other medical terms she didn’t understand.

She needed a nap.

“Angie.” Luna paused at the sight of her clinging to Oliver’s hand. She hesitated in the door, unsure if she should go any farther. Her heart screamed at her to comfort Angie, but she wanted that attention to be welcome. If Angie found more strength in being alone, Luna wanted to give her that option. She’d waited, leaving Angie by herself with her father and son. When she’d seen Jack leave the hospital room, she couldn’t resist any longer. She had to see Angie, hold her.

Angie looked up, her eyes bloodshot and drooping. “Oh, Luna.” Her voice wavered.

The decision was made, Luna was at Angie’s side in a heartbeat. “I’m so sorry.” She wrapped Angie in her arms, careful not to hug too tight, desperate not to let go.

Angie buried her face in Luna’s neck and shook against her. All that hurt and Luna had waited too long to offer solace. She swallowed her guilt and rubbed small circles on Angie’s back. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” Luna whispered words of consolation, words that, until now, seemed trite and clichéd. She wanted to find a better way to express herself but gave up when she realized this was the best she could come up with.
I’ve got you
said everything from Luna’s heart.

“I wanted you,” Angie said, the words muffled against Luna’s shirt. “But I didn’t know where you’d gone.”

“I wanted to give you time.” Luna had trolled the halls, unsure how she’d be received by Angie.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Angie sniffled. “But I’m not sure why you are.”

“Where else would I go?”

“After the way I treated you?” Angie met Luna’s gaze momentarily, her eyes shining and wet, then tucked her head back into Luna’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t give me the time of day if I were you.”

Luna kissed the top of her head, her heart swelling. If Angie wanted her here, they had a chance, a
real
chance. Luna didn’t want to blow it. “As long as you want me, I’ll be right here.”

Angie gripped her tighter. “Thank you.”

Luna breathed a little easier. The words
I love you
slid to the front of her mind, like soldiers, silent and ready to be deployed, but she held back. The words were true. She knew it, and Angie knew it. She would have a chance later, in the quiet moments to come, to share her feelings, her desires, and her hopes for their life together.