INDISPENSABLE: Part 3: A Billionaire Romance (4 page)

Sarah walked into her apartment and threw her bag on the floor. When she’d woken up in the warehouse this morning, Brock’s body was still pressed against hers. He tried to talk to her and check in. Sarah didn’t see the need to prolong things. She knew what she had to do to sort her life and move forward.

She knew she needed to get home, talk to Bella about moving out of the apartment Brock had arranged for her, and resign from the job he’d given her, or at least renegotiate the terms. Last, but not least, she needed to go see her parents and have her say.

So, here she was in the apartment, and whatever had happened between them happened. She’d move on and let Brock get on with his life with his family.

Sarah wasn’t thinking about the BDSM session they’d had or what she’d done, what she’d wanted Brock to do to her. Not yet. That needed to be calculated through her normal brain. That Sarah in the warehouse wasn’t her. This was her, and she’d sort her life out and go look for that husband to love her forever. As mind-blowing as it was with Brock, she didn’t need him to be in control of her. Not in
any
way.

Brock had assured her everything was secure in her apartment after the scare with Rick and the sweep for electronic bugs had shown nothing. She really hoped Rick was over his vendetta against the world. Wishful thinking most likely. She hoped he’d see reason and take a big payout or something.

She got why Rick was angry, but the way he’d been spewing out poisonous words against both her and Brock, couldn’t be healthy for him either. She’d go and speak with Rick. Surely, he could see this wasn’t her choice either. She wasn’t his enemy. He needed to be called on his attitude to young females in the company and females in general. Still, she didn’t want him to be ruined for life over it. People deserved a chance to change.

So much had changed in her outlook on life in the past few weeks, whereas she’d been desperate to show how good a lawyer she was, to prove something to the world and ultimately herself, perhaps she should look into less egotistical work. Life shouldn’t be about a constant need to convince herself she was good enough. She was an awesome lawyer. No validation needed.

She’d texted Bella on the way from the warehouse. She’d been there a whole twenty-four hours with Brock. She’d slept twelve of those. She’d put it down as jetlag since they’d only flown in from Paris yesterday morning.

The BDSM session did indeed open her up, and his aftercare brought her back to a place of realization and clarity. Her life needed to change from the inside out. He’d been worried she wasn’t ready to go home and make these decisions. But Sarah felt clean inside and little sore on the outside, and the big hot tub here called her name. She was fine. Just normal. So she’d had kinky sex with the hottest man on earth, this didn’t have to mean anything.

Bella was set to meet Sarah in their shared lounge room in an hour. She needed to run some of her ideas past her best friend and see if she was on track or way off base with her decisions. As much as her life had changed in the past few weeks, it had done so more in spite of her rather than because of her.

Sarah needed that to change. She needed to be in control of her own destiny and her outcomes. No going back to live in Aversham, one of the lowest socio-economic areas in this city. Brock was right about that. She needed to present a complete professional appearance, especially if she was to source her own clients. But she didn’t need a ten-thousand-dollar-per-month apartment. Success just wasn’t success if it was handed to her before she’d had a chance to earn it.

None of this felt real or right. A step back and re-evaluation was the best idea. The fairy tale was lovely. Well, parts of it were. The sex, definitely mind-blowing. But Brock was wound up as tight as a ball of hat elastic, and she was worried if he started to unravel there’d be a tangle so huge it would be impossible to fix.

Sounded a lot like she’d felt inside over the five-million-dollar salary package and luxury apartment she now lived in. Sarah really had no clue why she felt that way before, but now, she knew it was linked to living the life she wanted, not the one she thought she should live.

It was definitely a First World problem. People would be so grateful to have the career and wealth opportunities she’d been given, and yet she was throwing it away. So she’d better just get over it and get on with making her life the way she wanted it to be, minus a certain sexy and broken billionaire.

Their whirlwind time together rolled through her mind. The memories still thrilled her, to be honest, and she was okay with that. It didn’t mean she needed him in her life. It just wasn’t meant to be. She’d asked him for space and to respect her need for time in the think tank. He’d told her he couldn’t guarantee that because he’d need to check in on her for aftercare. But she’d take care of herself and sort her shit out.

She couldn’t fix everyone, so she’d better just fix herself before she worried about anyone else. It was time to forgive herself and see that what
she
brought to the table of life wasn’t anything to be ashamed of or disheartened over. Perhaps mending bridges with her parents was a little too much to hope for, but a civil conversation might be possible.

Long enough to tell them how they’d hurt her. Not that she expected them to apologize, or even understand why they needed to, but it would be off her chest, and that had to help her move forward. The acknowledgement would move her life forward. What she needed was to start again and not let the hurt of the past overshadow her.

She needed to forgive and let go. Unfortunately, Brock was now a part of the things she needed to let go. In a short time, he’d given her everything she’d ever dreamed of—but in the wrong format. She just didn’t think it was sustainable for them to have a relationship.

A friendship, yes. But she needed to put her heart behind a wall because he wasn’t in a position where he could give his love and life freely to her, and that was something she couldn’t compromise on. One thing she did know was that a person only changed when they wanted to.

Turmoil had been her whole lifestyle, on the inside. Always striving, always shooting higher, never thinking that what she had was ever enough. Sarah wanted more than anything to succeed at life. Not just in work. That was the easy part. Work and career she had within her control. It mostly pertained to how much she put in, how dedicated she was, how sharp she kept her mind.

Her personal life had always been rife with complications. A tangled mass of emotions and hurt, of hope and disappointment, of joy and ultimately pain. She needed a man who was less complicated. One who worked hard, loved without measure, and was just easy.

Sarah heard Bella come in, and she went into their shared lounge. “Yay! You’re here. Seems like forever since we talked.” Bella rushed up and hugged her tight.

“I know. I went away with Brock and now you’ve been away for work. It’s been two weeks. I’m not sure that’s happened in the whole time we’ve known each other.” Sarah grinned.

“Do not tell me we are growing up.” Bella grinned back and then hugged Sarah tight again before she held her back by the shoulders and looked her up and down. “You look different. Thinner, a little tired.”

Sarah was a little sore from straining against the bindings, but she had no bruises. “It’s been a big fortnight. I’ve made some decisions I want to discuss with you.”

“I’m pouring wine first. This can’t happen without wine.”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Bella pulled a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc out of the small refrigerator. “I feel like I’ve been flying all day. Most of it was waiting between flights.”

“Hope the jetlag doesn’t hit too hard.”

“I think the wine will help me control it.”

“Story of our life. Although out of bottle now instead of a box.”

It was great to laugh with Bella again, to know she could talk and Bella would understand.

“So, these decisions, they involve Brock?”

“Yes, in an indirect way. It’s not just about him. It’s about my life and how I’m handling it.”

Bella gave her a large glass of wine and sat beside her on the sofa. “How is it with you two?”

Sarah shrugged. “Complicated, intense, hard work.”

“But you love hard work.”

“I want to get myself sorted and get my own hard work done. Allowing Brock into my personal life is messy. I want simple and relaxed. I’ve asked him to give me space.”

“I see.” Bella took a big sip.

“You don’t agree?”

“I know where you’re coming from, but you do get bored easily. Brock might be perfect.”

“I can’t do it. I feel like I’m open now, like a big, gaping wound. I have to try and mend myself and heal a little. I can’t expect Brock to be a part of that.”

“Maybe he wants to.”

“Maybe he does, but his energy would be better off sorting out his own messy backyard.”

“That bad?”

“Only a lot. But we all have issues, right?”

“For sure.” Bella looked like she never had an issue in the world. Something was going on with her, but Sarah knew Bella would tell her when she was ready.

“I’m resigning my position in the company.” Sarah watched for her best friend’s facial expression.

“Are you sure that’s wise?” Bella sipped again and frowned a little.

“If it’s your job or losing this place you’re worried about, I’m sure it’ll work out.” Sarah went into defensive mode.

“I’m not that shallow. I mean, it’s what you wanted for all this time. The thing you talked about non-stop was that job.”

Sarah sighed. “I know it sounds stupid. But it’s all been too easy, and I’m not feeling that I have the job through my own merits. It feels false somehow. Also the reasons why I wanted the job were egotistical. It’s not what I’d hoped it would be now that I’m in it.”

“I guess with Rick carrying his bad blood so far, it’s bound to have a negative effect.”

“It’s more than that.”

“Because you and Brock are attracted to each other? Do you think he’s only given you the job because of that?”

“Partially, yes. If the sex wasn’t involved, if I didn’t interact with him on a personal level in any way, I guess it would all seem more real.”

“I think you’re selling yourself short, Sarah. You’re awesome at that job and you’re fabulous in the courtroom. Brock is great at making the right business decisions, and he chose you because you are the best he’s seen in a long time. He didn’t get to where he is thinking with his dick.”

“That sounds good in theory.” Sarah took a sip of wine. Its liveliness sparkled on her tongue.

“Why don’t you try keeping the job and rearranging the terms, only interacting on a professional basis?”

“That’s the hard part. Being together and keeping it professional has been a major fail so far.”

“Do you want to be with him?”

“I’d love to be, in lots of ways. But what Brock is offering, the way he needs to be satisfied, I’m just not sure I can live that lifestyle. There’s just so much more to this. Every time things are going good and I think there might be a chance for us, something else pops up and I find he’s held back information he’s had plenty of time to share. I want a simpler life.”

“What will you do if you leave there?” Bella topped her wine up.

“I thought I’d rent an office, find some clients, and start my own practice.”

“Risky. But I get it. It’s been a whirlwind few weeks and that’s scary. I wonder if there isn’t a way to compromise all of this.”

“I’ve been trying to think of a way. Maybe with work, but being with Brock, his sexual preferences…I can’t do that. I can’t live as his submissive on a daily basis. It’s too intense.” Sarah knew she’d touched on some things she’d rather not think about in the warehouse. Long buried anger, resentment, and maybe even hatred. But while it was buried she could control it. Once it surfaced it scared her.

“He’d want you to
live
like that?”

“I think so. He’s just hard-wired that way. He has a warehouse and that’s where he goes to be a Dom. We were there last night. If we were in a relationship and I can’t give him what he needs, I can’t stand the thought of him being with anyone else to fulfil those needs.”

“Wow. This is way more complicated than I realized.” Bella’s eyes went wide, and she shook her head. “I think you have to deal with a layer at a time. As far as being with Brock goes, you need a lot more time to get to know him and trust him before you can even begin to make a decision like that.”

Sarah nodded. “Every time I think I can trust him, something happens and I’m catapulted back out into the emotional wilderness again. But last night. He was awesome. He held my life in his hands and he handled me like precious crystal. I did trust him. But on a daily basis, it’d be way too intense.”

“Out of everything that’s happened, including work, what’s the best feeling? For you.”

“Being in that courtroom in full fight. I’ve never felt so alive and confident.”

“What’s been the worst feeling?”

Sarah thought about it. “Being handled, I just feel like I’ve had my freedom of choice taken away. Where I live, what I drive, what emotional crap I want to deal with.”