Authors: Nicola Haken
Tags: #Romance, #Young Adult, #twist, #abuse, #high school, #new adult
We settled
back into the sofa, drawing our knees up and facing each other. I
relived the most wonderful night of my life in excruciating detail
– minus the part about Blaine’s scars. That wasn’t my secret to
tell. I blushed and giggled my way through the conversation like a
cheerleader on crack and Lori gasped and laughed in all the right
places.
My mum came home just after six pm with three string bag’s
full of food. She looked anxious. I was sure something was
troubling her and if I hadn’t been busy helping Lori to
overcome
her
problems I could’ve quite easily obsessed over that. My mum
asked me to put the shopping away and then took herself straight to
bed. The old man style snores reverberated through the house just
minutes later.
Lori left at seven and if I hadn’t had to move on to my
next ‘patient’ – Blaine – I would’ve woken my mum up to check on
her. I peeped through her bedroom door and felt content that she
was fast asleep and I could deal with whatever was on her mind in
the morning. After calling Blaine to tell him Lori had gone home I
grabbed a quick shower whilst I waited for him to arrive. He was at
my front door in just under thirty minutes, looking freshly
showered himself – his tousled dark hair was damp around the edges
and he smelt like citrus fruits, mint and something…
hot.
Blaine popped
one of his DVD’s into the side of the telly and we snuggled close
on the sofa as it began to play out. It was something fast paced
and action packed but neither of us were really watching it.
He asked about Lori and I simply said she was having ‘love
troubles’. She could trust me to keep her secret – I was
nothing
like Sky. Then we
chatted for over an hour about trivial things – school, football
(he explained the rules to me twice but I still didn’t know the
difference between a whatever-back he was and the whatsit-backer
Jason was), and Jason’s latest squeeze.
Before long we were naked
in my bedroom and working up a sweat. I
hesitantly but purposely ran my fingertips across his back as he
kissed me deeply. Instinctively he stiffened slightly, but then
sighed and threw every emotion his body held into kissing me, into
touching me, making love to me. I lost myself in him
completely.
“
Talk to me, Blaine,” I whispered in
to his ear which was nuzzled in my
neck as we came down from the intense euphoria. “Tell me what
happened to you.”
Blaine rolled to his side and propped himself up on his
elbow. I traced the lines of his defined muscles with the tip of my
finger whilst he twisted random strands of my hair around
the tip of
his.
He drew a
deep, preparing breath and tipped his head down so I couldn’t see
the pain in his eyes.
“
They’re my punishment. The scars… if I cross a line I get a
strike.” His beautiful body with its mismatched shades of skin
started to tremble as he spoke. I scooted closer to him and draped
an arm over his hip, gently stroking his back – stroking his
‘strikes’. It was heart breaking.
He said he received his f
irst strike when he was eleven after
calling Treacle a whore during an argument.
How ironic,
I thought sarcastically. He had
thirty-nine scars in total and he remembered in vivid detail the
events that lead to every single one. I wiped the sporadic tears
from his face with my thumbs as he reeled off the memories one by
one. It took almost two hours to get to his most recent strikes and
I idly noticed he stopped at thirty-eight. I had been listening
intently and was positive I hadn’t miscounted.
Was he keeping
something from me or did he just forget?
Then came the question I knew I shouldn’t ask but did
anyway out of sheer curiosity… and maybe a smidgen of jealousy. I
asked him how he’d managed to ‘hide’ himself for so long given
his
reputation
with the ladies (or sluts) as it were. He seemed genuinely
ashamed, wouldn’t look me in the eye when he told me he had never
slept with a girl while she was sober and never done anything which
would require more than the undoing of his fly.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. It seemed like
I
should
have felt disgusted yet I only managed to feel… honoured
maybe? Smug? Yes definitely smug.
“
It just became habit I guess,” he went on, discussing his past
harem of girls (sluts). “I can’t lie… I enjoyed the attention. It
helped me forget who I was for a while. At school I was popular –
everyone seemed to want a piece of me. I had a purpose I guess.
Then I’d get home and I would just be the kid no one wanted again.”
He shrugged nonchalantly, but the pain was radiating from his
electric blue eyes.
“
It feels so…
liberating
, being able to talk to you, Maddie. I don’t quite
know what you’ve done to me, but I like it. You make me want to be
better. You make me believe I
can
be better.”
“
I love you, Blaine,” was the only possible response I could
think of.
“
I know you do, lish, and I can’t even begin to tell you
what that means to me… how long I’ve waited for someone to say that
to me.”
His
words made my heart swell painfully. I had visions of a lost and
lonely little dark-haired boy, sitting at the foot of his grand
staircase perhaps as he watched his dad and Treacle laugh as they
threw Kara up in the air – wishing that somebody could love him
too.
I loved him. I needed him. And I spent the rest of the
night telling
and showing him just that.
**********
I think I can safely say the next three weeks were the
happiest of my life. For the first time ever I felt…
settled.
There’s a new girl at school (Michelle, I think) who’s
moved over from Texas and I’ve willingly passed on my ‘newbie’
title. I finally felt like I belonged in this massive country full
of strange words and customs and I prayed every day that we
wouldn’t have to run away again. In fact even if we did, I think I
would refuse.
Not only was Blaine inhumanly gorgeous he was also
impossibly sweet. He was all I could think about when I was awake,
and all I dreamt about when I was asleep.
I’d got in the habit of leaving my
bedroom window slightly open and he would sneak into my bed every
night once his dad was asleep. That was the highlight of my day.
But then he would always be gone when I woke up. That was the low
point of my day.
Lori’s secret
is still safely tucked away and as much as I wanted to slap some
sense into her when she avoided me in front of Sky, instead I’d
just give her a knowing, understanding smile and leave her to it.
She was struggling immensely and I didn’t want to make it worse for
her.
My mum has been…
calm
. Not too happy and not too sad. I had mentioned Blaine’s
offer of asking Treacle for help if she couldn’t cope – if
I
couldn’t cope –
again and I wondered if maybe she was making an extra effort to
‘hold it together’ because she didn’t want anyone to find
out.
Treacle
is just plain weird – there is no possible explanation for
how touchy feely she is and I don’t like it. I’ve been avoiding
going to their house at all costs, even if that means missing out
on extra time with Blaine. Plus, I don’t think I’d be able to look
at his father without throwing up all over their marble
floor.
Sadistic
bastard.
Treacle
has been to our house a few times though and I swear
sometimes she got so close I thought she was going to sit on my
bloody knee. There was an unmistakable atmosphere between her and
my mum and I suspected they’d had an argument over something. I
guessed my mum had finally plucked up the balls to tell her how
hurt she was that she ‘abandoned’ us. Even though she didn’t of
course - we were never Treacle’s responsibility.
Al
l
in all life was going great - maybe because I actually had one. But
the best part was, two days ago… I got a job! After a successful
interview with the Manager, Sarah, I had earned myself the
sophisticated role of all round dogsbody at Brewed Awakening - a
coffee shop serving California’s poshest school kids and snootiest
businessmen.
My first
shift starts tonight and I’m excited and nervous as
hell.
Blaine
Trudy and I have barely spoken to each other since the big
revelation. That suited me just fine. It’s strange because every
time I’ve looked at Kara since, all I can see is a mini-Maddie
staring back up at me. She’s got the same rich brown eyes, the same
shade of chocolate hair, the same dimples in her pink cheeks… It’s
only now I
know the truth I wonder how I never noticed before –
how
nobody
noticed. Now, to me, their beautiful faces scream
sisters.
Shit.
They’re sisters. They’re actually blood related siblings
and I’m keeping that a secret. Maddie has grown up practically
alone and now I know she has family,
blood
family, right under her nose and I’m hiding it
from her. I’m a selfish bastard. I can’t do it anymore. I love her
– I shouldn’t be lying to her.
Maddie
loves me. Maybe she’d love me more than she would hate Trudy? Maybe
she would stay, for me? Not if she finds out what a lying, scheming
douchebag I am though. I need to tell her before she finds out from
someone else. I just need to find the right time. Wait for her to
get settled in her new job perhaps – a week or so… that’s
all.
Then, I’ll
tell her.
“
You know that shit will kill you?” Maddie said, sauntering up
to my window as I pulled up in the school parking lot with a
cigarette perched between my lips.
“
So people keep saying.” I shrugged, took one last drag and
flicked it out of the window before climbing out to wrap my arms
around her delicious body. “I’ve missed you,” I whispered in her
ear. It’d been a whole nine hours since I’d seen her. Dear god I
really am a woman.
Maddie’s fingers found their way into my hair and she
twisted and tugged at it fervently whilst she reached up on her
tiptoes to kiss me. I wrapped my hands around her
waist
,
grasping the fabric of her fitted white t-shirt and gently pushed
her backwards until she was leaning against my car. Then I slammed
my hands into the metal on either side of her shoulders. She was
trapped. She was mine. I kissed her deeply, flicking my tongue
against hers and tasting that intriguing sweet flavour which I
discovered last week was ‘tea, two’ or tea with two sugars to the
layman. Too soon she pulled away, her breath hitched and her cheeks
pinked.
“
I’ll see you at lunch,” she practically whimpered. She was
visibly flustered and I felt rather smug I had the ability to do
that to her.
“
Damn right you will.” I leaned in for another kiss but she
placed a finger over my lips, tutting like some naughty, hot as
hell school mistress out of a cheap porno. Then, giggling, she
ducked under my arms which were pinning her to my car and sprinted
across the lot to catch up with Lori.
As usual when Maddie and I have no classes together the
morning dragged laboriously. I slept my way through pre-calculus,
daydreamed my way through physics and spent chemistry listening to
Jason drone on about the ‘funny shaped flaps’ of his latest
conquest.
Then, just as he was comparing them with some blonde called
Penny’s ‘neatly tucked away’ ones, I was saved by a text message.
It was from Maddie.
Need to go
home. Just called taxi. Call me when u can xxx
“
I gotta go,” I said to Jason
, heading straight for the door and
ignoring Mr Bell’s attempts to call me back.
I raced down
to the ground floor and then sped through the halls until I reached
the double doors to the lot. Maddie was stood by the white barrier
with her head in her hands, tapping her foot furiously against the
asphalt. Within seconds I had my arms around her.
“
Blaine,” she gasped in surprise, spinning to face me. “What
are you-”
“
Come on, lish. You’re not waiting around for a fucking cab
when I’ve got a car right here.” She mumbled something which
sounded like ‘thank you’ as I led her by the hand towards my car.
After opening the passenger door for her and watching her slide
inside, I closed it and hurried round to the driver’s
side.
“
What’s going on, lish?” I asked, concerned by the unshed
tears burning the back of her beautiful brown eyes –
Kara’s
eyes.
“
My mum. She called me – she
never
calls me. She sounded…
scared.
Then she hung up and now she won’t
answer.” With that, I hit the gas a little harder. To a stranger I
was sure Maddie looked calm and collected but I could tell by the
speed her thumbs were circling each other as her hands rested on
her knees that she was shitting it.
I parked the car with a screech and Maddie was flying
towards her front door before I’d even cut the engine.
I heard frantic
cries coming from inside the house seconds after Maddie went inside
so I slammed my door closed and ran towards the noise. My breath
caught when I saw Annie huddled in the corner of the room with a
hammer and Maddie stood over her surrendering her palms.