Infatuate (41 page)

“I booked a trip to come see you. It’s more than I should spend, but I couldn’t resist—I want to see you in the parade!”

An alarm went off in my mind: she was coming here. At the worst possible time, the most dangerous time. “Joan, you can’t!” I blurted out, before thinking. It came out far harsher than I intended.

“What?” She sounded shocked, all of her sweet excitement suddenly snuffed out.

I backpedaled. “No, I’m sorry, I just mean—I’d love to see you but I can’t . . . you can’t. I just . . . I can’t have you here, not then, not now.” It broke my heart to say this and to do it so forcefully but I needed her to listen. I needed her to be safe and that meant staying as far away from here as possible. I was met with such pure silence on the other end that I thought the call might have been dropped. “Are you there?” I had to ask, softening my voice this time.

When she finally spoke, I could hear the tears being stifled. “I don’t know why you’re so upset with me, Haven. I just want to see you. Is that such a bad thing? I know you’re busy, but . . . I didn’t expect you would tell me not to come. I thought it would be something fun to share together. Soon you’ll be off at college, and I know that’s a wonderful, exciting thing, but I’m going to miss you. I miss you already.” I had clearly hit a nerve.

I felt awful. The only thing that kept me going was the idea that keeping her away would ensure that she would be okay, that she wouldn’t get caught up in whatever battle would be raging here. For the briefest moment, my mind wandered into territory I had been trying so hard to push away. What if I didn’t make it? I had had to consider this once before, but then I had been fine. My first challenge had seemed almost easy in retrospect.

It hit me: what if I told her? What if I just spilled it all? Spelled it all out and told Joan the truth about me and Dante and Lance and what we really were, as difficult as it may be for her to comprehend? It would sound so outlandish I think she would worry I was delusional.

“I’m sorry, Joan, I didn’t mean to be . . . Look, there’s just . . . some weird stuff going on here,” I started, testing the waters. I was so sick of having to weave these elaborate webs. I wished she knew the truth for the selfish reason that she would somehow have the words to make everything seem better and less scary than it was. I needed that now. Sometimes I was tired of having to be strong.

“Well, Haven, now I’m concerned, quite frankly. What’s going on there? What are you talking about?” She sounded stern.

“No, I’m just being dramatic.” I chickened out. “It’s fine. I’m just stressed. I’m looking forward to being done and getting home, that’s all.”

“I don’t like when you get like this. It can’t be all that bad. You always put such pressure on yourself to do everything perfectly. You need to ease up. It’s not good for you to carry on this way.”

“I know. You’re right.”

“Maybe you’ll let me come another time before your trip is through. Or at least promise me you’ll rest when you get home in June? I’ll take a few vacation days and we can goof off together.” I was silent, trying to fight back the tears. Would I be there? How much longer would I have to make these kinds of calls, worrying that they would be my last? I hadn’t spoken for several long seconds. “We’ll have fun,” she said, trying to sound light.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and hardened my voice. “Of course, of course. It’s a date, I promise.”

“That’s more like it.” She paused again. “You sure you’re okay? Should I be worried? Because I feel like I should, so you’re going to have to convince me otherwise.”

I wanted to say, Yes, be terrified, just like I am. But instead I said, “Of course not, I’m fine. I’m really good.”

“I don’t think I believe you, but I have a feeling you’re not going to tell me what’s really going on until you’re good and ready. So, for now, all I’ll say is, take pictures at least, okay? I want pictures of you in that parade, that’s an order. And I want you to have fun, got it?”

“Got it.” I nodded to myself, smiling through the tears.

Maybe someday I really would find a way to tell her, but, no, I couldn’t right now. There was just no easy way. All I could hope was that my will to survive, to see Joan again, would get me through and give me extra strength when the time came.

Dante and Max summoned Lance and me to Mariette’s on Monday afternoon. “She wants to wish you good luck,” Dante had said. We needed all the luck we could get, so we weren’t about to say no. The guys were waiting for us, seated on the front counter when we arrived.

“So, how’s your pitching arm these days?” Dante asked as he greeted me, eyes dancing.

“I’m sorry?”

He opened up his backpack and inside I found so many sharp-tipped triangles and stars, all made of a delicate sort of tree bark and each featuring pointed edges dipped in a multitude of colors. They were wrapped up and protected in tiny individual Ziploc bags. “Each of these delivers a debilitating punch,” he said, closing his bag back up. “I’ll show you what they all do and then it’ll be up to you to throw ’em at the right people at the right times.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It’s going to be,” Max said in encouragement, which I appreciated. vzyl

“That’s the idea at least,” Dante said.

“What about me?” Lance asked.

“Don’t worry, we’ll give you a crash course in all this back at the house,” Dante assured us. “You’ve got a night to figure it out. No sweat, right?” We laughed nervously.

At that moment, Mariettte floated out from her backroom, as serene as ever. “Thank you so much for stopping by.” She looked intently at both of us. “I wanted you to know my spirit will be with you tomorrow. And I know you are capable of defeating the evil ones.”

We both mumbled reverential thank-yous and she turned to me. “Haven, could I have just a moment of your time?”

“Of course,” I said, stepping forward. I felt the others slink back as I followed her into the pantry. There she took my hands and looked into my eyes, studying me. “Dante may have told you that we have prepared some very special things for you.”

“Oh, thank you. He showed me some things already—”

“I would be remiss if I didn’t ask one final time: did you want something specific against the one whose letter you gave me?”

I shook my head. “No, thank you. I won’t be needing that.”

“I suspected as much, but I wanted to know for sure. Dante has trained well. He is doing everything in his power to help protect you. But even so, we can’t be sure these mixtures will work on these beasts. You have my apologies if anything fails you.”

“I know you’ve done so much. Thank you. If I fail it’ll have nothing to do with you.”

“I have full confidence in you.” She nodded, then she hung her head, almost bowing to me, let go of my hands, and turned to go into the backroom. But I thought of something and I couldn’t resist.

“Mariette,” I called, and she turned back around. “Is there anything else I need to know heading into this? Anything at all?”

She looked deep into my eyes again, stepping toward me once more. “I don’t know whether you will survive or not. I can’t see that far ahead for any of you, much as I have tried time and again.” She shook her head. “I can’t tell if the one behind the letter will survive either. But I know what you’re trying to do for him and you are very brave to try. And while this may not be knowledge that can save your life, I can tell you this: they both love you. Truly. And in my experience, sometimes knowing something like that can make a difference. It can certainly make a person fight harder.” With a smile and another nod, she disappeared into the backroom, turning off the light. I stood there a few extra seconds in the dark, alone, and I tucked away what she had said and held it tight in my heart.

By the time Connor gathered us in the living room after dinner, we all had begun getting punchy, jittery with that dreaded day approaching. He took his usual position at the front of the room and scanned our exhausted faces. Our house had grown silent; each of us, it seemed, had retreated into our own thoughts as we mentally prepared.

“I know that things are gonna get rough soon,” he started. “But I want you all to know that you can fight this. You know what you have to do. Each of you will be targeted by one freshly transformed devil whose mission is to steal your soul and destroy your body, making you their personal recruit for an eternity in the underworld. And some of you will find yourselves up against members of the old guard of devils as well, looking to weaken you as you do battle. As angels, you’re the ultimate prize to them. You won’t know where or when they’ll strike, only that it has to happen before midnight on this day of metamorphosis, so you’ve gotta be on guard. The three of you”—he addressed Emma, Tom, and River—“need to focus on subduing your attackers and slapping one of these on them before they manage to hit you with anything.” He held up one of the triangular shapes I’d seen in Dante’s bag. “These, as provided by Dante and Max, will weaken them and enable you to destroy them. You’ll know you’ve won when they change forms and begin to take on the look of their decaying souls. Then just keep at it until they smoke and turn to ash. If you want to know what this all looks like, talk to Haven, Lance, or Dante. They’ve all been there.”

I was surprised to be called out; it gave me a jolt of confidence, a feeling that I was an expert here, like I knew what I was doing. “The only catch,” Connor went on, “is that you have to hit their targets: those markings on their bodies.”

“Those tattoos, you mean?” Emma asked. She had a pad of paper out and diligently scribbled down notes as he spoke. “What if they’re covered up or something?”

“You’ll be able to find them. On Metamorfosi Day those markings will glow—there will be no missing them. And they’ll emit heat. Trust me.”

She nodded solemnly along with the other two, all wearing serious expressions.

“For you two”—he pivoted to face me and Lance, both of us seated on the lounge chairs in the corner—“it’s gonna be a little harder: you’ll likely be paired with stronger adversaries. So you’ve got stronger weapons.” He held up one of the star shapes. “These would burn straight through the skin of a mortal or a lesser angel. But you guys can take it. Dante and Max, when Metamorfosi Day begins, your job will largely be done. You just have to hope that your tools will have given everyone the fighting chance they need. And I know you’re already on this, but you’re laying the foundation to ensure the devils are in fact sealed away after midnight?”

“On it,” Dante answered. “We’ve scattered gris-gris bags around the cemetery, focusing on the crypts most closely associated with the Krewe.” I raised an eyebrow, impressed. He caught my look. “Told you I’ve been busy,” he whispered.

Connor was still talking. “Just remember, guys, you can do this. Think about it, think about your time here: you’ve already held your own against heartless beasts, battled the elements, and learned how to take a fall. You’ve got all the tools to fight and you’ve got the fearlessness you need to win.” I hoped he was right. “So, last thing. Wherever the night takes you, when—yes, when— you’ve passed your test, meet back here as soon as possible for a check-in with one another. You’ll be running on adrenaline. You’ll be in the middle of Mardi Gras. There’ll be that party going next door. But do me a favor and, you know, let one another know you’re okay before wandering out into the excitement. Midnight is when the devils bring their new recruits back to the underworld. If they stay any longer on Metamorfosi Day then they risk losing their powers entirely.” Lucian’s image filled my head now. I wished I could just skip ahead to 12:01 and know that everyone was safe, have this all behind us. “So expect to see one another here soon after midnight.”

Something about the last thing he said sounded odd to me. But I was momentarily distracted by the glazed confection with purple, green, and yellow sprinkles being shoved in my face by Max. He and Dante each had their hands full with plates bearing slices of these sweets.

“Now, in the spirit of this week’s more enjoyable festivities, Dante and Max whipped up a king cake for us. So, dig in, guys.”

“And whoever gets the baby gets to be king or queen of the float!” Dante called out.

Everyone began nibbling and talking quietly as Connor slipped away to his room. Lance was talking to me, but I got up, without a word, and chased after Connor.

“Hey, wait!” I called after him, jogging to meet him down the hall. “You said we need to look out for one another and meet back here and all, but aren’t you going to be here too?” I said when I reached him.

His face fell for a moment, telling me everything I needed to know. He shook his head. “I’ve done everything I can right now. Don’t worry. Focus on you and what you need to do in the next twenty-four hours.”

“But . . . wait. I’m having major abandonment issues here. I don’t understand.” I tried to laugh it off but I couldn’t help but feel the start of a dull ache in my heart. “How can you leave? Don’t you want to be here to see what happens? Don’t you care about us?”

“Haven, of course I do. It’s not up to me. This is how it is—I keep an eye on y’all and then I have to go. I’m not allowed to be here when y’all battle. I’d be champing at the bit to fight, and it’s not my place to do that, so I have to go away on Metamorfosi Day, for a little while. Look, I have a feeling I’m going to see you again, okay? Just—”

“But how does that even work?” I cut him off. “How can you leave school and everything?” Desperate, I searched my mind for anything that could keep him here.

“Haven.” He put his arms up to settle me down. “This doesn’t matter. You want to talk logistics? I’ll be gone on a ‘family emergency’ and then at some point I will show up again. Someone else—not one of us, a nonangel—takes over for a little while. My real job is done. But what matters is that you keep your head in the game and survive this test, okay?” He said this sternly, looking at me with hard eyes before they started to soften. “I’m telling ya, just get through this and you could be leading the guardians one day.”

“The guardians?”