Infatuate (6 page)

“I’m sure outerwear isn’t her primary concern.” Max laughed, then, turning to Dante, he pointed to me. “She’s so cute!”

Dante smacked him playfully on the arm, already pals. “I know, right?” He grabbed Max’s fedora. “This is totally badass, by the way.” Soon, they were in their own world, talking about where to go shopping.

“Seriously,” Lance piped up. “There are, like, per capita, a
lot
of, ahem, adult entertainers in this town.”

I heard a splash and whipped my head in its direction. Brody had gotten entirely sloshed with a beer by some guy in a green feather boa, spray even landing on Sabine beside him. She patted at her damp arm. The offending drunk shouted his apologies as he stumbled by.

“No sweat, dude,” Brody yelled, turning to us, soaked. “A rite of passage, right?”

“It’s a baptism,” I shouted back in agreement. “We should all be so lucky.” He shook his head, smiling, a good sport. Sabine looked at me with wide have-you-ever-seen-anything-like-this?! eyes.

Another posse caught my eye, coming down the center of the street and led by a young woman who looked like she belonged on the runway of a lingerie fashion show. She had an ice-blond pixie haircut, cheekbones carved of stone, and a sinewy frame. She wore the tiniest white strapless minidress, sky-high white heels with straps that crisscrossed again and again almost up to her knees, and a fluffy white feather boa around her neck. In one hand she held up a sparkler in the night air. It crackled and spit its tiny charges like fireflies. Though the crowd was so densely packed it was difficult to move very fast or far, this group had no trouble as their leader strutted along, commanding all of Bourbon Street’s attention. Her merry band of fellow provocateurs, all with sparklers blazing, was made up of statuesque women in short, dark sequined dresses and lean, athletic men in black pants and partially undone button-downs, their sleeves rolled up.

We couldn’t take our eyes off them and watched silently for a few long minutes, getting jostled from all sides. As raucous as this drunken Bourbon Street crowd was, it still felt comforting to be among them. To be just one little person embedded in this massive group seemed safer than I ever would have expected. I almost dreaded having to go back to our new residence, where I would, at some point, be forced to be alone with my thoughts in those awful minutes of darkness before falling asleep—if I would be lucky enough to fall asleep.

The parading group threw beads as they passed, but we were too entranced for the necessary hand-eye coordination to kick in to catch them. We just let them drop at our feet as we watched the procession. The pixie twirled her sparkler as though it were a baton, somehow managing not to singe herself or those nearby. She looked as if she was leading a marching band. Finally, she made a swooping motion, unleashing the sparkler skyward, so high it seemed it might kiss the moon. She stopped in front of me for a moment, looked right in my eyes, and said with a wild, wide smile, “Boom.”

A second later, the sparkler ignited with the
BOOM!
she had promised. It exploded above us into a kaleidoscope of shimmering colors, then twinkled as it burned out, like rain in lamplight. I felt my jaw drop. When I turned my gaze back to street level, she had moved on, making her way down Bourbon. She grabbed the sparkler from the man beside her and tossed that one too. Up, up, up until it bloomed as vibrant as the one before it.

“Whoa,” Lance said, then pushed his glasses up on his nose.

“I’m pretty sure that kind of thing is illegal where we’re from,” I offered.

Dante grinned. “We’re definitely not in Evanston anymore.”

“She’s gorgeous,” Sabine whispered, wistful. “Don’t you feel like you have to be absolutely perfect to have that hair?” She pulled back her lustrous locks and mugged. “I would kill to look good with that cut, but I could never, ever do it.”

“You totally could,” I assured her as we began walking again. I was secretly glad that I wasn’t the only one who could feel intimidated like that. I felt unsettled by beautiful things for so many reasons, a reflex after my time at the Lexington. “You would look great.”

“Really?” Sabine sounded truly touched. I nodded. She looped her arm in mine. “So would you!” I didn’t even care if she meant it or whether it was true. It was just nice to hear.

We all walked on together silently those last few blocks to Royal Street. The house pulsed with activity when we returned—the TV blared in the living room, music and conversation trickled out of a couple of open bedroom doors, someone foraged for snacks in the kitchen. Our group split into three pairs, all of us retiring to our respective rooms, exhausted by what we’d seen tonight.

I let Sabine go ahead and said good night to Lance at his doorway—Dante had already gone inside.

“You know you can stay in here if you want, right? Or . . .” He didn’t finish his thought and what he managed to get out he said with a halting awkwardness.

“Yeah. Thanks,” I said. The truth was, I didn’t want to be alone. I would’ve liked nothing more than to just drift off to sleep in Lance’s arms. But on our first night in this new place, I didn’t want to be that girl who was spotted leaving a guy’s room at some strange hour of the morning. “I feel like I’d better be in my own bed. First night and all.”

“Yeah, no, got it, I figured,” he said, agreeing too eagerly. “Good thinking.” He kissed me good night and I could feel him watch me walk to my room before retreating into his.

He’s supercute,” Sabine said with a mischievous smile when I returned. “Well done, you!”

“Thanks,” I said, with a little laugh.

“You’ve been dating how long?” She pulled on sweatpants and a tee as I changed into a pair of my aquamarine scrubs, relieved to be out of my heels.

“Just a few months, but friends for a while.”

“Cute,” she said. “I dated a friend once . . .” I waited for more but she didn’t seem anxious to offer it up so I let it go. She took in my outfit. “Are you on call tonight?” she joked, tying her hair back and taking a seat at the desk as I hung up my clothes.

“New Year’s
is
one of the most dangerous holidays,” I quipped. “Old volunteer job. It’s actually where I met Connor. It’s a long story but—”

“Omigod, me too!” she interrupted. “I mean, I wasn’t exactly saving lives. It was an ice cream shop on the Cape.” She shook her head, as though details weren’t that important. “But, you know, he came in a couple times or whatever.”

“Seriously?” I asked. She nodded, seeming to be excited by this odd coincidence. I didn’t know why I felt disappointed. Secretly, I kind of liked the idea that Connor had seen something special in me and told me to apply for the program. I wished that I didn’t need that kind of reassurance, but sometimes it’s just nice to feel wanted. “That’s really funny.” It came out more flatly than I would have liked.

“Anyway, he’s a mint chocolate chip guy,” Sabine said.

“Good to know.”

“I’m totally dying to know where we’re working first,” she said as she searched in her bag. “Do you have any idea?” She pulled out her phone and gave it a look, scrolling.

“No.” I drifted off in thought for a moment. The idea sent the slightest shiver down my spine, as I recalled my last boss, the stunning and lethal Aurelia Brown. I couldn’t imagine what tomorrow would bring.

“Awww.” She smiled at her phone then quickly flashed it at me: it was a photo of a handful of girls in someone’s living room, a
HAPPY NEW YEAR
banner behind them. The text message read
Miss you!!!!
“Weird not to be home tonight, right?” she asked, her thumbs tapping out a response.

“Yeah, I know,” I said, even though I didn’t exactly feel that I had missed out on anything. Back home, I still would have spent the evening with Lance and Dante; we just wouldn’t have been dressed as nicely.

“How late is it there?” she said to herself, thinking.

“Boston? It’s an hour back so, wow, like two?” I answered.

She nodded and began dialing. “Have you ever been to Boston?”

“No. For me it’s like there’s an electric fence keeping me in the Midwest. It’s amazing I managed to convince Joan to let me go this far.”

“I think it’s so cool that you call your mom Joan.” I had told Sabine I was adopted, but that’s all she knew, and really all she needed to. I was good at not sharing a whole lot about my past. “Anyway, it’s a great town. You have to visit. We’re just outside of it, but it’s a short ride in to Newbury Street, all the good shopping.” She put the phone to her ear. “Hey you! Happy New Year! How
are
you?! . . . I know, I just got it. So cute!” Moonlight trickled in from outside our window, reflecting off the glossy-white wraparound balcony. Might as well give her privacy. I unlocked the latch, pushing the window open. I sat on the sill and then just scooted my legs over to the other side to climb out. The air had grown chillier and I felt the goose bumps rise on my skin. I could still hear the dull roar of Bourbon Street in the distance.

“You know there’s a door right there?” someone yelled from part of the balcony diagonally across the courtyard, an arm waving. I leaned over the railing and could see him in the hazy light. Connor. I waved back. He pointed off somewhere to my left. I looked over to a door that must’ve been located at the end of our hallway.

“Yeah, you know, I don’t like to make things too easy,” I called back.

“I like that about you,” he answered, then, with another wave, said, “Night!” He turned and let himself in through a similar door over on his side of the building. Muffled voices from another section of the balcony traveled my way. It was dark over there, but I could see two figures sitting, talking, and watching the courtyard below. Above them, the third story of the mansion next door loomed over our more modest home, like a bully in the shadows.

“Get a room down there!” shouted one of the people from across the way.

I leaned over and spied two figures entwined on the chaise. I squinted to see who it might be. Two faces looked skyward, and both bodies sprang up and scurried inside.

Behind me the window whooshed open. “Hey!” Sabine said. “Whatcha doin’ out here?”

“I do believe I just witnessed the first dorm hookup.”

“No way.” She stomped her foot in mock outrage. “I’m jealous. Get in here and give me the scoop. You can fill me in while we fight over the beds. Don’t know about you but I’m totally zonked,” she said.

I climbed back in and we negotiated the most equitable division of sleeping arrangements possible: A coin toss determined that I got the loft. We both nestled in and turned off our bedside lamps.

“Next project,” she said, yawning in the darkness. “I think we’ve gotta decorate somehow, you know? Maybe hit those antique stores nearby, find something fun?”

“Did you see the one with the giant, like, stone camel in the front window?” I asked, laughing.

“Perfect,” she said, though I knew she was only kidding. “Night.”

“G’night.” I lay on my back, my eyes wide open. This was the least tired I’d felt all day. If I hadn’t had a roommate, I likely would’ve flipped the light back on and tried to read, but that didn’t seem like a nice thing to do on our first night here. Much as I’d tried to push it aside all night, now all I could see when I closed my eyes was the image of the Prince. Or Lucian becoming the Prince.

Through the sheer, gauzy curtain shrouding the front of the lofted space, I was at just the right height and angle to see the full moon shimmering outside the window. I locked on to it, glad for any bit of light to illuminate those dark places now in my mind, and I hoped its peacefulness would cocoon around me.

Then I saw it and bolted straight up in bed.

A low glow flickered in the top corner window of the mansion next door and a light sparked on. It hadn’t been there before—I would have noticed it while I was outside. It had only
just
gone on. I crawled forward on my bed and slid open the curtain in a quick whoosh. Below, I heard Sabine roll over, then deep breaths of sleep followed. Leaning forward now, I could make out a shadow. Someone stood in the window next door. But before I could see anything more clearly, the light went out again. I stared at that darkened window, waiting, unable to move. Finally, after many minutes, I slipped back under the covers, pulling them tight around me.

5. Everything Okay in Here?

I managed to doze off at some point, but my sleep couldn’t be called restful. It was more a series of nightmares, except they all happened in real life: my mind replayed a loop of every horrific event I’d encountered during my first test of angelhood. Every moment—and there were a lot of them—when I had narrowly cheated death. Every poisoning, every fire bolt launched my way, every one of those beautiful, evil creatures I’d had to battle. My skin could still feel their hot claws on me. My heart remembered the ferocity of its beating when a pack of them had stolen into my bedroom to attack me. That’s when my eyes finally sprang open.

I peeked at my alarm clock: almost five o’clock. Outside the sky was still inky black, just the slightest ribbon of midnight blue creeping up from the horizon. Sabine was sleeping peacefully. It was still too dark to read, so I grabbed the book from my night table, crept down the ladder, and, not bothering to change out of my scrubs, quietly let myself out of the room.

The stark emptiness and pure silence of the hallway did nothing to settle my frayed nerves. But as I turned the corner, I caught the clang of silverware and the vacuum swoosh of the refrigerator being opened. I smoothed my hair and poked my head into the kitchen just as Connor turned around.

“Whoa!” he said, startled, almost losing the two-liter bottle of diet soda tucked under one arm, and the steaming cup of ramen noodles and the apple in his hands.

“Sorry. Hi,” I said, also sorry that I hadn’t bothered to get dressed. He looked sufficiently messy himself, but wore it well, from his fresh-from-bed hair sticking up every which way and heavy-lidded eyes to his mesh soccer shorts and a fraternity T-shirt with a ripped sleeve.