Inferno (3 page)

Chapter Five

I have spent the past few weeks hiding out at my friends’ places and avoiding my cell phone as much as possible.  I have had exactly twenty-seven voicemails from David and twice as many texts the week following the ball.  They started out as apologies. 
Baby, I am so sorry. Please forgive me.  She was a complete mistake.  I’ve only ever loved you…
Yada, yada, yada.  When I didn’t respond to his groveling, his messages turned mean. 
Stop being stupid Lex.  You need me.  I’m all you’ve got.  No one else will ever care for you the way I do.
  When those did not cause the desired effect, he got ugly. 
Listen you fucking bitch, no one treats me like this.  You’re going to regret this Alexis.  When you come crawling back to me, you’re going to have to wait at the end of the line.
  That’s when I started deleted them without checking them first.  I even thought I saw him a few times.  I know, paranoid much? 

The only bright spots during that time were the meetings with Sebastian.  Ethan had
Inferno
business so he was a big fat no show during our consultations.  That was probably better for my concentration; not that staring at Sebastian is any type of hardship.  I just prefer his tall, dark, and handsome business partner in my slutty daydreams.  Anyway, they decided to go with the name
Ardor
, as I suggested, which played really well into my design plan.  The advertisements are the silhouettes of a male and female professional in inconspicuous sultry poses.  The idea is that the demographic could easily imagine themselves replacing the ambiguous figures in each scenario.  The ads give off the vibe that something naughty is about to happen and management may not approve of their wicked extra-curricular activities.  Sebastian loved them.  His exact words were, “now this is somewhere I’d like to hang.  I can make my play without having to check ID’s for jail bait or have drunken kids dump their beer down my back.”  We sealed the deal with a high five.

********************

Group Message

Lex – I can’t work anymore. What’s everyone up to

Jack – hair cut.  I got the big guy who’s been crushing on me

Makayla – Aw, more cushion for the pushin

Jack – this dude could cushion a fall from a plane

Bella – in waiting room for gynie appt.  I swear I spend more time getting ready for these appts than I do for a date

Makayla – did you put glitter dust on your who ha

Bella – damn, knew I forgot something

Lex – I don’t even know why strippers glitter that area

Makayla – to distract you from the visible signs of their STD

Jack – heading back to work.  Be home late tonight

Makayla – thanks for the warning

Lex – did your haircut have a happy ending?

Jack – no, it ended in an uncomfortable parting of ways

Bella – goddammit!  My appts not till tomoro.  I had cute hair and everything! (said very whiney)

********************

Sebastian called earlier in the week inviting me to
Inferno
tonight.   Makayla was the only one without plans for the evening so I badgered her until she agreed to be my wingman.  We’re all gussied up, but instead of being inside getting our groove on, Makayla’s arguing with the doorman.  Apparently, he does not believe that we are friends of the owner and there at his bequest.  I have no idea what gave him that impression…

“Damn, you’re a big boy.  Is it true what they say about hand size in relation to other parts of a man’s anatomy?  ‘Cause if it is, I think I might be a little scared of you.”  Yep that was Makayla.  The doorman was not impressed, and he almost clotheslined her when he stuck his arm out to block her entry.

  “Seriously door dude, we are special guests of the owner,” Makayla annunciated slowly.  “Ask Bastian boy.”   

When the doorman didn’t immediately give into her demand to allow us through, she had such a hissy fit and caused the scene to end all scenes until the doorman had no choice but to summon management.  Thankfully, Sebastian found her antics endearing.

“Can you go anywhere without causing a ruckus?” Sebastian asked while escorting us, one on each arm, to a private seating area that overlooked the dance floor.

“In Makayla’s defense, we did hit the hooch a wee bit early.  I was nervous.  Chances are good that Mr. Hottie McHot Pants will be here, and what if I make a fool of myself.  Then I started worrying about whether Blonde Bimbo would be here.  What if she recognizes us and attacks me again?  Then I started hyperventilating.  That’s when Makayla got out the shot glasses and started pouring.  Do not judge me.  I was under a lot of pressure.”  I stopped walking, forcing the others to halt, and let out an exasperated sigh.  “I probably shouldn’t have told you any of that.”

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” Sebastian said with a wink.  He sat us down on a cozy little couch.  With each of us on either side, he stretched his arms out behind us and ordered three beers.  “You two are going to be the cheapest dates I’ve ever had.”

“Hey! I am not cheap!  I didn’t even let Bobby McPhearson get to second base, and I dated him for a whole year,” I pouted and crossed my arms on a huff.

“Well, that’s good to know,” Ethan grinned from the chair beside me.

“She hasn’t been laid in so long, her hymen is growing back,” Makayla confirmed sweetly.

I leaned across Sebastian’s lap to address Makayla directly, “It is medically impossible for your hymen to grow back.”

“Then you’re a freaking medical miracle!  Bet you’ll even make the Guinness Book of World Records for being the first person to ever become a virgin again.”

“Maybe some of us are just a little more selective on whom we allow access to our fun house.”

“Sweetheart, your funhouse is going to get condemned if you don’t let someone keep up with the maintenance regularly.”

“I am so glad we met these girls.  The entertainment value is priceless,” Sebastian spoke over my head to Ethan.

I sat back in my seat and frowned at Ethan.  “Ya know, you’re like a cat, always sneaking up behind me.  You need a bell around your neck.”

I think we have realized by now that, unfortunately, my brain tends to nap when under the influence of alcohol, and Makayla’s mouth does not have the ability to sensor itself, like ever.  Therefore, what was about to happen next, was clearly not our fault.  Here we are minding our own business, enjoying a few shots and a couple of beers.  Makayla is shamelessly flirting with Sebastian, which he doesn’t appear to mind in the least bit.  I was glaring at Ethan and giving him my best high school debate speech on why his hotness should be illegal.  I was explaining how his attractiveness is single handedly causing the destruction of American values, when a whiney ass voice hollered Ethan’s name.  You know it’s going to be bad when my first thought after seeing who the voice belonged to was thank God I’m wearing pants.

“Ethan, Ethan!  We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Blonde Bimbo said as she and her friend made their way over to us.

“Fucking hell,” Ethan muttered.

Makayla came to stand beside me and that is when I realized I was standing. 
When in the hell did I stand up? 
There we stayed, frozen side by side, staring at the horror before us.  Blonde Bimbo was wearing gold hot pants, a midriff, black, halter top that barely covered her assets; she paired all that wholesomeness with six inch, clear, stripper heals.  Tagging along behind her was another frightful sight.  Her clone, which I could tell was not a natural blonde by her telltale black roots, was dressed more modestly.  She was wearing a black velour, one-piece, bell bottom, jump suit.  The top half, bedazzled with rhinestones, formed a deep, open V all the way down to reveal her belly button ring.  If the thin string, stretched tightly along the underside of her fake boobs, broke, there is no telling where her ta tas might end up.         

“Oh my God.  They’re multiplying.”  I may have said that a tad too loud.

Makayla turned to Ethan with pure disgust.  “Dude, seriously?  You are hot.  Like scorching red-hot, turn my panties into a puddle hot.  You could have a harem of gorgeous woman, like my girl here, but instead you collect members of the white trash bimbo brigade?  What is wrong with you?  Do you have a small package?”  Turning to me, Makayla continued.  “I bet that’s it.  I would never have believed it just by looking at him.  You had better just throw him out of your spank bank now.  Such a waste,” she finished with a shake of her head.

“It’s a good thing me and Candy gots here to rescue you from them hookers,” Clone Bimbo said snidely as she ran her hand up Ethan’s muscled chest.

“Did she just call us hookers?  She did, didn’t she?” I asked Makayla.

“Sebastian, bro, a little help please?”  Ethan pleaded, and he tried to remove the talons clutching his shirt.

“No can do.  This shit is too good not to document, but I will forward you a copy later.  FYI, my monies on the hookers,” Sebastian guffawed as he held up his phone to capture the coming shenanigans.

Turning back to the repulsive sight before us, I addressed our party crashers.  “First of all, it’s Candy and I.  Proper grammar is an important part of the English language.  Maybe you should study it.  Secondly, the 1980’s Texas pageant circuit called, and they want their look back.  I know I used big words like and, and the, so let me break this down for you.  That was not a compliment.”

“For your information, I wasn’t even born in 1980, and we’re from Georgia not Texas,” Blonde Bimbo informed us nastily.

“Never pegged you for the intellectual type; guess you proved me wrong,” Makayla said mockingly to Ethan.

Ethan had managed to disentangle himself and position his chair between him and skank one and skank two when Sebastian said, “The only way this could be any better is if there was Jello.  Man, I told you we needed a Jello pit!”

“Thanks for keeping our seats warm, but you two can run along now.  The boys fancy the company of us classy ladies, so you can just vamoose” Blonde Bimbo said while making shooing motions with her hands.

“What’s so classy about camel toe?” questioned Makayla.

“We’re not even wearing animal print.  They’re so stupid,” Clone Bimbo said to Blonde Bimbo.

Poking me in the chest, Blonde Bimbo declared, “me and Ethan are an item.  I’m special to him so you need to go away.”

“Special Ed, maybe,” I retorted, causing a full on laugh from Sebastian.

Ethan, glaring at everyone, addressed the intruders.  “Candy, listen very carefully.  I told you before that I am not interested.  You’re a nice girl but it’s never going to happen.  Find someone else.”

Blonde Bimbo, tears in her eyes, looked at Ethan.  “That’s not true.  We’re perfect for each other.  I love you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“This is all your fault!” Blonde Bimbo screamed as she launched herself at me…again.  Her momentum caused us to fall backward onto the couch.  I was grappling with the bitch, trying to control her wrists when from somewhere in the distance I distinctly heard Makayla shout, “That’s it.  I’m ending this shit right now!”  There was a crackling sound and I felt a sharp pain in my arm.  The last thing I remember is hearing Makayla’s panicked voice, “Oh my god!  I hit Lexie!”

I am trying to wake, I’m all muddled up.  My body feels heavy like I’m being weighted down.  I have cotton mouth, my head is at a dull ache, and my eyes refuse to open.  The cool sheets feel good against my skin.  The weight on me shifts and a chilly wisp of air skates along my back.  I nestle back into the gap, encountering something warm and solid.  I snuggle in closer, the weight tightens, and I think,
this is such a happy little place to be
.  As soon as that happy little thought pops into my head, my eyes immediately burst open, and my brain decides to engage.  It’s pitch black.  I can’t see a damn thing.  I’m rapid fire blinking, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the dark while I take a mental inventory of my situation.  I am in a bed.  Whose bed I have no idea, but said owner of the bed is obviously spooning me. 
Damn, how much did I have to drink last night? 
I’m trying to recall the events that led to me sleeping in a strangers’ bed, clad only in my bra and panties. 
If I finally had sex and was too drunk to remember it, I’m gonna be pissed.  Oh. My. God.  What if my sloppy ass, drunk sex was bad for him?  Maybe he was too drunk to notice.  It couldn’t have been that bad if he’s spooning me, right?  Oh my god, what if he has a butter face and my beer goggles convinced me he was hot.  What if he thinks I have a butter face…

“Will you shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”

Goddammit!  I said all of that aloud!  What a minute.  I know that voice.

“Ethan?”

“Go to sleep Alexis.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Try.”

Honestly, I did try.  I mean, I was in bed with Mr. Hottie McHot Pants, Ethan Storm.  Did it really matter how I ended up here?  Apparently so, and that is why I cannot stop fidgeting.

“If you don’t stop rubbing up against me, you’re going to deal with the consequences.”

I froze, not moving a muscle.  Internally there was full fledge warfare happening between my hormones and my brain.  My hussy hormones really wanted to see where those consequences would lead.  My conservative brain was trying to convince them what a bad idea that would be.  My brain won out with its argument that we were not a floozy who jumped into bed with just anyone, anytime, and for any reason.  My hormones were in the background snickering about how we were in fact doing exactly that at this precise moment.  My brain and I were valiantly ignoring the Jezebels.  A memory flashed and it all came rushing back.