Infraction (22 page)

The agent sits back in her chair, her eyes wide. My
neighbor in solitary was right. It feels amazing to be in control,
even for just a short while.

“
That was the price to leave the
colonies: to never be able to speak of them, to never be able to
give them up to people like you.”

Dr. Benedict hesitates, the syringe in his hand
trembling. He looks to the agent to see if he should proceed, but
she's just staring at me with her mouth gaping open.

“
At the time I didn't get why that
would be so important, but I did it anyway because I wanted to
leave. Now I understand why I was asked to do it. And you know
what? I would do it a thousand times over. That's the kind of
loyalty you will never be able to reproduce with those serums of
yours. I have nothing more to say.”

I rip the collar from my throat and throw it at the
agent. It hits her in the shoulder before she can even flinch. But
when it does, it snaps her from her shocked stupor and she jumps to
her feet.

“
Give her the injection.” Her words
shiver all over me like ice.

Dr. Benedict doesn't object.

I'm used to the burning from just a few minutes ago,
so the fluid doesn't hurt me like it did then. But as soon as it
starts to do its thing, I have a splitting headache. Thankfully my
mind is able to see it coming and it can't leech onto my brain like
it did before, but it still hurts like nothing I've ever
experienced. I grab my head and double over.

“
If it kills her, you're
responsible,” Dr. Benedict says as he checks my pulse. I'm
barely aware of his hands on the inside of my wrist. “And I doubt
she'll be answering any more questions today.”

“
Take her to her cell.”

The door opens and two soldiers grab my arms. As the
door swings closed behind me, I hear the agent say, “How did she
know about the serum?”

I smile before the pain in my head makes me black
out.

I wake up to Jane's blue eyes, her face about a foot
from my own, her blond hair making a waterfall around us. I try to
blink away the aching in my head.

“
Are you okay?”

I shake my head. I've never had a headache last more
than a few minutes. This has faded to a dull throbbing, but it's
not as paralyzing as it was right after the injection. That has to
be a good sign.

“
You were out for three days. I
could barely get you up enough to get some water in
you.”

I sit upright. Three days? How is
that even possible? I grab her hand.
When do we
leave?

“
Tonight.”

This isn't possible. I can't have missed these days.
They were crucial to finalize our plans and get us out of here.
Jane puts a hand on my shoulder and eases me back against the
mattress. Then she hands me a piece of bread.

What's this?

“
Bread.”

I roll my eyes.
From
where?

“
A soldier brought a few things to
the door. Said something about one of the agents not wanting you to
die.”

I smile. Dr. Benedict was right. It probably
just about killed the agent to provide me room service. I scarf
down the bread, and it sticks in my dry throat, but I gag it down.
I haven't eaten since before solitary. Jane offers me a water
bottle.

Then something that's been nagging at the back of my
mind, something the thought of solitary reminds me of, comes back
to the front.

Is there a way out through the basement?

Jane frowns, chewing her bottom lip. “Maybe. Madge
would know. Why?”

There's someone we need to take with us.

“
Is there room on the
sub?”

Yes.
It's a lie, there
probably won't be room, but I write it anyway
.
It's the only answer that will save my neighbor
from her punishment.

“
It's almost breakfast. Are you
going to get up?”

I don't want to. My brain feels like it might
explode out of my head, but the small bit of bread didn't do
anything to fill me up. And what has Kai been eating the past few
days while I've missed meals? I swing my legs over the edge of the
bunk and instantly regret it. I don't know what exactly the
overdose of truth serum did to me, but I feel like there's a fire
in my feet and it's spreading up my legs. I groan.

“
Are you sure you can do
this?”

I nod. I'm not going to lie in bed all day. Not
today, when I need to talk to Madge and make sure everything is in
place. I can't just leave all of them to fend for themselves. I
know Mary could take care of them, get them out of here until they
could meet up with Jack and Dave. Then the three of them could more
than get them to the ocean. But I took responsibility for them
personally when I concocted this inane plan. I need to get them
through it.

Jane offers her thin arm, and I lean on it to walk
to the door. The light from the window swirls around my head three
times before I cock my head, squint just right, and make the
spinning stop. The vials are gone, and my heart leaps into my
throat. Jane puts another hand on my arm to calm my panic.

“
They're in my pants. We need to get
them to Kai so she can have them in the commissary.”

Of course. The plan is put into action today. I need
to relax, take a few deep breaths—not that it will really help. I'm
sure I'll be a wired mess today, but I need to do a better job so
the soldiers and agents won't suspect something's going on.

Jane guides me all the way to the mess hall, and
Madge starts to stand when she sees us come in.

“
I thought they killed you,” she
says matter-of-factly.

I shake my head and take her
hand.
Feels like they tried.

“
We still on for
tonight?”

I nod at Jane, and she makes a show of putting an
arm around me to help me sit down. Madge hurries around to join
her. Jane slips Kai the vials of serum, and Kai slides them into
her waistband. A soldier walks over.

“
Sit down.”

Madge hurries back to her seat without a word.

The soldier watches us. My heart thuds in my chest,
and I wonder if he saw the vials. He isn't making a move, though,
and I can hear him breathing behind his mask. The effects of the
serum are still lingering through my brain, and my mind wanders
from the immediate danger. Instead of wishing he'd go away, I start
wondering if he fogs up his mask breathing like that. I stifle a
giggle.

Finally he does leave, and as soon as he's out of
earshot, Jane leans in to ask Madge my question. I slide a pancake
to Kai.

Madge taps her fork against her teeth. “I've worked
laundry down there a few times, and there's a chute that runs from
the laundry room to a grate a couple feet behind the women's wing.
Why? I thought we were going out the loading dock.”

“
There's someone in solitary who's
coming with us,” Jane says.

“
How many are we taking, Terra?”
Madge's voice is harsh, but not unkind. I know her concern. The
more of us there are, the greater the chance of capture.

Enough.

She looks at me hard, her eyes narrowing. “You're
planning something. I can see it.”

I shrug, trying to look nonchalant, but it's so hard
with my body not completely under my control yet. I feel like my
face is going to spasm any second now. I glance at the observation
booth. The agents aren't watching me, for once.

You have the cutters?

Madge's one task (besides coming up with the plan)
was to steal a pair of heavy wire cutters from reclamation. We'll
use them to cut through the fencing along the perimeter of the
camp.

She rolls her eyes. “You really have to ask?”

I smile and one corner of my mouth sags.

Madge gnaws on the end of a dry sausage and laughs.
“I don't know what they did to you, but you look horrendous.”

Double dose of truth serum.

Her smile vanishes. “Do they know anything?”

I'm a colonist.
I don't think
they would dream to ask if I was involved in an escape
plan.

“
I'm sorry.”

I can't tell how sorry she really is. The conflict
rages all over her face: hating the colonists out of habit and
coming to grips that she might just be living with them soon.

Mary's eyes harden. “What did you tell them?”

There are fourteen colonies. Nothing more.

“
Nothing?”

I shake my head.

“
You fought the serum?” Madge asks
incredulously. “That's impossible. I haven't heard of anyone
fighting the serum.”

I got an overdose for it.

She whistles through her teeth. “You're tougher than
I thought.”

The intercom declares work hours, and we stand up.
Kai leans in. “I'll give them the crazy juice at dinner time. Be
ready.”

We file toward the doors. My tray trembles as I put
it on the counter. Red, rough hands take it and put it in hot
water. I don't look at the face that belongs to those abused hands.
I stopped looking at faces when we planned our escape because I
knew I'd want to take them all with me, and there isn't room for
that, and I don't know if there will be a next time.

My mind is cloudy as I work in the sewing room. I'm
more careful this time, and Jane slows down so I can follow her
every movement. Jane threads her machine, and I imitate her motions
precisely. This stupid machine is what got me in so much trouble in
the first place; I won't let it beat me, and I thrust all other
thoughts from my mind. I won't attract attention, and I won't give
them any excuse to lash out at me. I need to get through this day
unnoticed.

By the time the intercom crackles that it's dinner
time, there's a pile of crudely mended work clothes in the basket
next to me. I stand, flex my fingers, and follow Jane to the mess
hall. Now my fingers ache. They were the one part of me spared from
the truth serum, and now they hurt worse than the rest of me. My
hands weren't made for such intricate work.

We sit at our table, and Kai is gone—on her work
hours, and hopefully pouring vials of serum into the agents' and
soldiers' food. My meal is tasteless. Well, more so than usual. I
shovel each bite in, but it hardly registers in my mouth. I have no
appetite for it, but I'll need the energy on our run tonight. I
force myself to swallow it down.

Jane hands the keycard to Madge under the table.
Madge is the only one who knows exactly where all of our cells are,
and she doesn't have a cellmate, so she'll be able to get out
without a tag-along. The plan is that she'll slip a magnet she
stole from reclamation to put on the door latch as it closes behind
her for the night. This is the riskiest part of the plan.
Admittedly, the soldiers always have their back turned as soon as
we're in our cells, but if she's caught doing this, there will be
no escape tonight, the agents and soldiers will figure out who
poisoned them, and Kai—if not all of us—will be severely punished.
Madge knows the weight of this. For once, her eyes don't shine in
defiance, but in apprehension.

The intercom dismisses us, and we don't look at each
other as we file back to our cells. Jane and I go in and sit on the
top bunk. There won't be any movement for a few hours now. We'll
just sit and wait.

Jane wraps her arms around herself. On any other
night, she'd nestle up to my side, and we'd sit and watch the sun
go down, seeing our only glimpse of a world outside the camp for
those few hours before we fall asleep. Now she sits a foot away
from me, wringing her hands—she's a bundle of nervous tension. I
start tapping my foot and put my head in my hands. I need
something—anything—to keep my mind off of what we're about to
do.

My memories flick back to Jack in the forest as we
wandered, the way he watched me, but held back for me. He knew I
needed that. The way he ate the awful bread and didn't complain.
The way he held me in the dark hollow while we hid from the
soldiers. The way his mouth curled up into the smile that told me
he loved me even if he couldn't with his words. The way I crave
that smile. My eyes widen in realization.

It's real. And I feel it too.

I would say it out loud if I could. The stump of my
tongue aches to form the words that would tell Jack how I feel
about him. How I always felt about him but was too scared to see
it. I look to the window where the sun settles below the ocean, the
last golden light illuminating dust motes in the room.

I love Jack. My heart swells and all I can think
about is his kind face, kind eyes, kind hands. He would never hurt
me. I would never hurt him. We're alike. That's what brought us
together in the first place; it's what kept us together. It's
what's going to get me through this escape tonight because, one way
or another, I'm going to be with Jack, and we're going to be free
together.

The anthem plays so loudly it cuts through my
thoughts, and all I want to do is put my hands over my ears and get
that song out of my head. I remind myself that this will be the
last night I listen to it here.

The light leeches out of the room, replaced with
violet dark, and Jane is a pale ghost next to me. The first moans
of the night start up. These are in the cells in our hall, much too
close to be the soldiers or agents. I grit my teeth and wait.

After what seems like days, another set of moaning
begins, and then screams. These are men's voices, and they sound
monstrous after only hearing the women's wails for so many nights.
The serum has finally kicked in, and I can imagine what the
soldiers are going through. Do they see themselves as the horrible
insects both Madge and my brain conjured up, or do they see
themselves as fluffy bunnies?