Inner Diva (17 page)

He let his arms drop and took hold of
Monica’s chin, directing her to look into his eyes, inches from his
face. “My parents didn’t raise me like that, and now my mother
needed me. I knew my father would want me to take care of them, not
cause my mother more heartache.”

“So you walked away from the gang.”

He nodded.

“Just like that?”

He paused, considering her question and maybe
how much he wanted to tell her. He shook his head. “It wasn’t easy.
Once you’re in, they make it tough to leave.”

“So what did you do? How did you leave?”

Carlos brushed his knuckles against her
cheek. “It doesn’t matter. It was years ago, and now I’m free of
them. My family is safe.”

She gripped his hand and squeezed it. “They
never bother you anymore? You never see them?”

He took a deep breath and released it. “I
wouldn’t be honest if I said that. They have long memories. They
have nothing else to live for, so they dwelled on me for a long
time. But when I occasionally run into them I can take care of
myself.”

She gasped. So the gang was still a part of
his life, however distant. Could she deal with that?

“
Carina
, I wanted to be honest with
you. You wanted total honesty, remember?”

Yes, she’d told him that. But did she mean
it? Could she deal with total honesty if it threw her entirely out
of her comfort zone? Or would she rather be blissful in her
ignorance?

She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know
what to say. I’m so far out of my zone I don’t even know my way
back.”

He pulled her close and for a few moments,
her whole world consisted of Carlos, his beautiful bare skin and
his scent of soap and cologne. She laid her head against his
shoulder and ran her fingers along his back, knowing she was
caressing the letters that marked him in a world foreign to her. A
world he entered tentatively, yet left behind because he craved his
family’s safety more than acceptance into a violent gang.

He leaned down and kissed her cheek, his lips
moving quickly to her lips. She grasped his shoulders and rubbed
her flat palms over his back. He’d courageously given her the
truthfulness she’d told him she wanted, despite the possibility
that it would scare her away. He’d bared his soul about his past,
and trusted her that she wouldn’t betray his confidence in her by
walking away.

In that moment, she realized she loved this
man, despite the miles apart of their past and present lives.

Monica pulled away from his embrace and gazed
at his dark eyes. Then, she leaned into him, her lips connecting
with his. Her hands cradled his face, her thumbs massaging the lean
chisel of his jaws while her tongue conquered his mouth. A low moan
erupted from his throat as he ravished her hair with his fingers,
then ran them down her back and practically lifted her off the
ground with his ardor.

Her heart beat so fast she ripped her mouth
away from his to suck in air, then she landed them on his skin,
placing kisses on his cheeks, his jaw, down his neck. Next she made
her way onto his broad shoulder. His eyes closed, his head tilted
back, he drew in the sensation of her adorning his torso with her
ardent kisses.

His carnal acceptance gave her the confidence
to continue. She dipped her head and made a trail of kisses over
his chest, lingering to suck avidly on each nipple. He moaned when
she lapped her tongue over each one, and a burst of adrenaline
filled her at his expression of pleasure. Moving lower, she tasted
his stomach and marveled at the tautness of his muscles. His skin
tasted wonderful – a musky scent now on her tongue that she would
remember forever. She skimmed her fingers over the wonderful
firmness of his stomach, and swooped them around to explore his
back and shoulders.

She couldn’t get enough of him. She marveled
that he was hers for the touching and the tasting – a beautiful
specimen of male she’d never before had the pleasure of sampling.
No matter how scary his past, no matter how uncertain she was about
a future with him – he was hers for now. They couldn’t look beyond
the here and now, and for the moment, she didn’t care. She was
going to extract every ounce of excitement out of now that she
could.

When she reached his belly button she stuck
her tongue in it and he shivered and gasped a deep breath. He
grasped her shoulders, tugging her to a standing position. He’d
evidently had enough of her being fully dressed, and when he
unzipped her jacket, she realized she was still garbed for the
outdoors. She quickly shed her coat and he yanked off her sweater
in one swoop.

But that’s where she stopped him. She’d been
close to a prize she’d wondered about but never seen and she
wouldn’t be deterred. She pushed his hands away and kneeled on the
floor in front of him. She put her hands on his slim waist, then
smoothed her palms across his abdomen. She could hear his sharp
intake of breath and the resulting tremor through his torso.

She unbuttoned and unzipped his fly and his
arousal popped forward, sheathed by the cotton of his briefs. She
barely stopped to think about what she was doing, however, a
persistent thought invaded her brain – this was the point of no
return. There was no turning back if she pursued her intention. If
she went ahead tonight, she’d be joined with him in more ways than
just a physical joining. She wasn’t the type of woman to throw
intimacy around casually. They would be connected, body, mind and
soul.

Was she ready?

Her hesitation only lasted a split second as
her heart screamed, “Yes!” She tugged on his briefs and when they
fell, she gloried in the sight of him, fully aroused and ready for
her. A shimmer of jitters passed through her and she nudged it away
by reaching out and taking hold of him. She squeezed his manhood,
then brought her mouth close and brushed her lips over its
tightness. She ran her tongue up and down his long shaft before
attempting to put his length into her mouth. She couldn’t come
close to absorbing it all but she heard a low moan deep in his
throat and his whisper, “Monica.”

She looked up and found his cheeks flushed
with color. His head tilted back and his mouth opened to release a
groan of pleasure. He knelt down to her height, lifted her into his
arms. Rising, he kicked his jeans free of his legs. He carried her
a few steps and deposited her on the couch, then knelt beside her
and plunged his lips onto hers.

The man was talented, that much was clear. As
his lips assaulted hers and caused ripples of excited sensations to
cascade through her upper body, he used his fingers to relieve her
of her pants and plummet into the tender folds between her thighs.
Her body bucked with unexpected pleasure and she squealed, her
sound captured in his mouth. He chuckled in response and she
realized she could not have stopped or controlled the sound. Her
body responded to his actions without any input from her.

The sensational tidal wave he created in her
body was so consuming that she found she was just clinging along
for the ride. Her preliminary attempts to provide lovemaking to his
phenomenal body were momentarily halted, so consumed was she in
experiencing the many delicious feelings he created in her. The
excitement grew and grew like water rushing under a bridge,
fighting to be the first wave through. Seconds passed, or long
minutes, but eventually it became almost unbearable, and she knew
she couldn’t sustain the intense emotions much longer. Her body
reached an undeniable climax and the waters came crushing down on
her along with a loud primal scream. Her body bucked and then
became limp.

A crushing exhaustion came over her but
Carlos wouldn’t let her stop. He covered her body with his own and
inspired her to pull herself from her need to rest. He had more
pleasure in store for her and she needed to be in her right mind to
experience it. She responded to his deep kiss and then she felt a
pressure in the very spot that was so spent – the spot he’d been
focusing on with his magic fingers.

She heard the sound of plastic ripping and
she saw that Carlos had sheathed himself with a protective wrap. So
thoughtful he was, in the midst of their passion to remember the
necessities. Then, a firm tip attempted entry, persistent in its
efforts. Her body yielded and suddenly, she felt completely filled.
She gasped at the thought that her own inner cave could accommodate
something so large and imposing. For a moment, she couldn’t
breathe. Then she convinced herself to calm down and enjoy this
incredible experience with Carlos, and her breaths returned to
normal.

She felt the stretching and her body adjusted
to the desired intrusion. As he pulled out and thrusted back in,
she gasped in little sensations of pain at first, but soon enough
she conformed to his motion and rotated her hips to provide
friction for him.

They were truly one now, linked by the most
intimate of connections. She looked to his face to find he was
gazing at her, his eyes dark with passion. Their eyes connected and
when his climax was complete, they stayed together, unblinking.

He held her close afterward, not moving, and
she heard him whisper. “What?” she said softly. “What did you say,
Carlos?”

“
Te amo,
” he whispered against her
ear.

She wasn’t a Spanish-speaker, but she was
pretty sure she knew what that one meant. Her heart thrilled as she
returned, “
Te amo
, Carlos.”

Work on the theater’s advertising campaign
was exciting but demanding. Monica spent most of her days, bleeding
into her evenings driving through her To Do list, overseeing her
teammates’ work and tying up loose ends. Monica refused to fail.
She fully intended to squeeze every opportunity out of her team’s
charge of providing top-rate advertising, until it was wrung dry.
The advertising would attract new audience members, and the theater
would be guaranteed more years of presenting plays to the people of
St. Louis.

The phone on her desk rang as she proofread
this week’s newspaper ad. She answered it.

Monica?” The male voice knocked her attention
away from the newspaper copy.

“Yes.”

“It’s Dave.”

Dave, the director. Dave, who never,
ever
called her at work. Dave, who must have some really big
news.

“Hi, Dave.” She worked at keeping her voice
sounding normal. After all, she was an actress, wasn’t she?
Wasn’t she?

“Trina needs throat surgery.”

Monica gasped. Leave it to Dave to give it to
her straight.

“You’ll need to take the Victoria part. You
up for it?”

Monica took a deep breath and exhaled. “Yes,
of course.” There, she even sounded like she meant it.

“Great. See you tonight. Dress Rehearsals the
rest of the week.”

Somehow she managed to disconnect the call
and send Dave on his merry way under the delusion that she could do
this. That she could step in for Trina and carry this poor show as
the leading lady. The lights shining on her, the mikes magnifying
every word she said.

The old cliché,
Be careful what you wish
for
, floated through her consciousness. This is what she’d
always dreamed of. She’d always wanted the chance to be an
actress.

Right?

If she could remember her lines. What if she
got up there and froze, unable to remember anything they rehearsed
over the last few weeks?

What was she thinking?

After work, she swung by Barbie’s house,
pleased to see Mom’s car in the driveway. She could share her big
news with both of them at the same time.

She tapped on the front door before pushing
it open. Mae rode her four-wheeled rider, completing a big circle
before spotting her. “Auntie!” She stumbled over, and almost
fell.

Monica retrieved her and swung her high in
the air. Heading to the rear of the house, she found her mom and
Barbie deep in discussion at the kitchen table.

“My, my, the prodigal daughter has returned.”
Her mother spoke with a smirk, sarcasm dripping.

“I believe it was a son, Mom.” Monica leaned
down to give her mother a kiss on the cheek.

“Long time, no see.” Barbie smiled.

“I’ve been busy,” Monica said and realized
she had been. Very busy. Between her accomplishments with the ad
team, her daily play practice, her relationship with Carlos and her
work with Luisa, her life was positively rewarding these days.
She’d created her own meaningful life outside her mother and
sister. Mission accomplished.

“I have great news,” she began. “You know how
I’ve been understudying the lead female role at the theater?”

Mom and Barbie nodded.

“Well, I’m getting my chance. Trina, the lead
actress, needs surgery so I’m going to play Victoria.”

Barbie shrieked and jumped up, throwing her
arms around Monica. Even her mother produced a smile. “Through the
whole run of the show?”

“I have no idea how long. But at the very
least, opening weekend.” Barbie released her and her mother pulled
her into a hug.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetie. Good job.” Mom
patted her on the back.

“Did you do something to require surgery for
Trina?” Barbie joked.

“Are you scared?” Mom asked.

“Sort of.” Understatement of the year. “But
I’m prepared. I’ve been rehearsing and I know all the lines.” Until
she gets up in front of hundreds of people. Then it’ll be anyone’s
guess. Monica took a deep breath and sank into a kitchen chair.

“A celebration is in order!” Barbie dashed to
the refrigerator and pulled out a half-full bottle of Zinfandel.
She grabbed three stemmed glasses and filled them. “To my sis, our
very own diva!”

Monica smiled and downed a gulp. “So, can I
count on you both to be at Opening night?”